Drinking Songs, the world over

[LukkyKnight]

I'm in the mood for imbibing. Sing along if you know any good ones...

Startle, startle little twink,
All have let's another drink?
When did my tongue get so thick?
Who turned out the swizzle stick?

Sit here with me at the bar,
Thinker than you drunk I are.
Why are barstools so damn high?
Flaming shots it's time to try!

Sober will tomorrow be,
Double trouble vision me.
Afluence of incolhol -
Lean against the friendly wall.

Little burping twinkle far
Home time keys my where you are?
Startle, startle little twink,
Stalls all full but there's a sink.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Well, that summed up my friday night nicely.

 

[marksgirl]

99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall!

 

[p_p_man]

She's a big lass,

She's a bonny lass,
And she likes her beer.
And they call her Cushey Butterfield,
And I wish she were here!!

ppman

 

[LukkyKnight]

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel,

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whisky every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And René Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'

 

[Vilac]

Show me the way to go home!
V~


Show me the way to go home...
I'm tired and I want to go to bed...
Oh, I had a little drink about an hour ago,
and it went right to my head.

Whereever I may roam,
On land or sea or foam,
You can always hear me singing this song,
Show me the way to go home.

 

[LukkyKnight]

Bacchus must now his power resign
I've taken over as God of Wine!
It is not fit the wretch should be
Competing with the likes of me.

Make a new world, oh powers divine!
Stock it with heady Tuscan Wine:
Let wine the only liquid be,
And let that wine be all for me!

 

[SempreAngela]

Canalicchio di Sopra Brunello di Montalcino

Give Me That Good Old Vino

I like my gin - it helps me get in,
But give me that good old vino.
I like my vino,
It gives me a schwing supremo.

Chorus
Aye-yi-yi-yi,
Si, si signora.
My sister Belinda she pissed out the window
And filled up my brand new sombrero.

I like my beer - it helps cure gonorrhea,
But give me that good old vino.

I like my liquor - it makes me cum quicker,
But give me that good old vino.

I like my brandy - it makes me feel randy,
But give me that good old vino.

I like my stout - it helps me get out,
But give me that good old vino.

I like my rum - it helps me to cum,
But give me that good old vino.

 

[LukkyKnight]

I think you've put me off beer drinkers.

 

[SempreAngela]

LMAO!

I have one that is worse, do you want to hear (see) it?

 

[Graymouse]

Hours pass by half forgotten
Night turns black cuz it's rotten
We slide right to the bottom
Our tongues made out of cotton
Eyes sealed shut in a slumber
Til we hear someone mumble
Could you spare from the tumbler
A new drink for the old drunk . . .

Every time I get drunk--which happens more than it probably should--I have a compulsion to hear this song .

 

[LukkyKnight]

Sure, SA, do your worst

To the tune of "She'll be coming 'round the mountain."

Can you walk a little way with it in, with it in?
Can you walk a little way with it in?
"Oh," she answered with a smile,
"I can walk a fucking mile,
I can walk a fucking mile with it in."

 

[SempreAngela]

You asked for it...

(I warn you ahead of time that this one is really bad..LOL!)

Toasts


Here's to the gash that never heals,
The more you touch it the better it feels,
Rub it and tub it and scrub it like hell,
You'll never get rid of that fishy old smell.

Here's to the girl that lives on the hill,
If she won't do it her sister will.
Here's to her sister!

Here's to the breezes,
That blow through the treeses,
And lift the girls dresses ,
Way over their kneeses,
And show us the creases,
That twitches and squeezes,
And teases and pleases,
And carries diseases,
By Jesus!

Here's to the girl that I love best,
I lover her best when she's undressed,
I fuck her sitting, standing, and lying,
And if she had wings, I'd fuck her flying.
And when she's dead and long forgotten,
I'll dig her up and fuck her rotten.

If I had a dog who could piss this stuff,
(Holding up Beer),
And if I knew he could piss enough,
I'd tie his head to the foot of the bed,
And suck his dick till we both dropped dead.

Here's to the lady dressed in black,
Once she walks by she never looks back,
And when she kisses, oh how sweet,
She makes things stand that never had feet.

Here's to me in my sober mood,
When I ramble, sit, and think.
Here's to me in my drunken mood,
When I gamble, sin, and drink.
And when my days are over,
And from this world I pass,
I hope they bury me upside down,
So the world can kiss my ass!

Times are hard,
And wages are small,
So drink more beer,
And fuck them all.

 

[LukkyKnight]

I think I'd forget the words to such a long one somewhere around the second bottle of wine... ~LOL~

 

[SempreAngela]

LOL!

So you are saying you are in the habit of drinking and singing bawdy little songs? I have a much better idea.................

 

[LukkyKnight]

Way hay, up he rises
Way hay, up he rises
Way hay, up he rises
Earl-eye in the morning.

What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
Earl-eye in the morning!

Put him in a long boat 'til he's sober
Buy a drink for his lassie if she'll come over
Leave him while you take 'er for a roll in the clover
Earl-eye in the morning!

Keep him there and make 'im bale 'er.
Keep 'im there while I impale her
Cover his ears if she's a wailer
Earl-eye in the morning!

Trice him up in a runnin' bowline.
The lassie's charms are warm and so fine
I know to me she'll take real shine
Earl-eye in the morning!


Put him in the scuppers with a hose-pipe on him.
The lassie's fine and fit and so trim
Soon I'll replace him as her whim
Earl-eye in the morning!

Take 'im and shake 'im and try an' wake 'im.
Break 'im, slake 'im, baste and bake 'im
Let the demon rum o'er take him
Earl-eye in the morning!

Shackle 'im up now he's down on his luck
Feed 'im fish 'til he pukes up muck
His fair lassie I'm bound to fuck
Earl-eye in the morning!

Way hay, up I'm rising
Way hay, it's like the tides when
Way hay, up I'm rising
Earl-eye in the morning.

 

[Lady X]

Ok...after reading through all this I need a drink!

And then I will sing........




And then drink a little more........






and then sing a again.........



**hic**

 

[Cara_f_32]

A song we sing at lady stag parties.

So here's to sister (insert brides name)who is with us tonite
She is happy
She is jolly
Sh'll suck cock by golly
So here's to sister (bride) who is with us tonite.


Then followed by shots.

 

[LukkyKnight]

Touch them...

You know how they're advertising all the folks who switched from PCs to Macs lately? Now that you've had a wee bit of drink, you can appreciate the ads better.

I promise.

Click on the devil

 

[LukkyKnight]

Quick show of hands:

Who clicked on the devil?

People with slowish connections are exempted.

 

[lilminx]

What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
Earl-eye in the morning!

You forgot, "Shave his belly with a rusty razor".

I like this one:

In Heaven There Is No Beer
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Heaven there is no beer
(No beer?!)
That's why we drink it here
And when we're all gone from here
Our friends will be drinking all the beer.


In Heaven there is no wine
(No wine?!)
So we drink till we feel fine
And when we leave this all behind
Our friends will be drinking all the wine.


In Heaven there is no fear
(No fear)
So we worry too much here
And we drink ourselves full of beer
To help us when we deal with the fear.


In Heaven there is no sex
(Oh no!)
So let's do that next
And when our muscles no longer flex
Someone else will be having sex.

 

[lilminx]

Re: A song we sing at lady stag parties.

So here's to sister (insert brides name)who is with us tonite
She is happy
She is jolly
Sh'll suck cock by golly
So here's to sister (bride) who is with us tonite.


Then followed by shots.

That reminds me of this one:

Here's to the men we love,
Here's to the men who love us.
If the men we love don't love us,
then FUCK the men and here's to us!

Also, my sorority did this one:

Drink a beer, drink a beer like a DZ can
Drink a beer, drink a beer like a DZ can
If you can't drink a beer like a DZ can
Then you shouldn't have a goddamn beer in your hand!

*edited b/c I can't keep my drinks straight- lol.

 

[LukkyKnight]

~ROTFL~

Clearly you have been drinking with different persons than I.

 

[lilminx]

Re: Re: A song we sing at lady stag parties.

Drink a beer, drink a beer like a DZ can
Drink a beer, drink a beer like a DZ can
If you can't drink a beer like a DZ can
Then you shouldn't have a goddamn beer in your hand!

I forgot to add that when we did this chant, we would take the cup of beer, tip our heads back ,and rest the cups on our foreheads. Then we would tip the cup down so that the beer poured into our mouths. You had to hold the cup a certain way in your hand too. It was easy to do sober, but after 5 or 6 beers, there were many nights when my shirt was soaking wet from all the beer I spilled.

 

[LukkyKnight]

I have plenty of cups... show me.