Drinking habits...

[jockdom]

I'm Scottish I like a drink! I've been sober now (checks fingers and toes) since sunday(where's my freaking key ring?). No but seriously, I try not to drink to excess during schoolnights but during the weekend or holidays I tend to binge.
Plus I love the taste of good beer and whisky.

 

[the captians wench]

I'm really not Irishist but my immediate family just happen to have a high incidence of long term, debilitating alcoholism. I know for them it's partly to due with upbringing. Also, the remote area where most of them live centres around the local pub and most people drink there most days.

That's the big reason Jounar didn't take me to the pubs at night. I'm not much of a drinker, so he said there's not much of a point. *shrug* I might ask him to take me anyway next time I'm there. Just to experience it.

I'm Scottish I like a drink! I've been sober now (checks fingers and toes) since sunday(where's my freaking key ring?). No but seriously, I try not to drink to excess during schoolnights but during the weekend or holidays I tend to binge.
Plus I love the taste of good beer and whisky.

You know, I'm developing a taste for good whisky. Kinda weird for some one who doesn't really drink much.

 

[Homburg]

You know, I'm developing a taste for good whisky. Kinda weird for some one who doesn't really drink much.

I love a good scotch. Fortunately, I can't afford good scotch generally speaking. Well, okay, I can, but I am unwilling to blow the money on something I consider frivolous.

 

[OldGuy1026]

I love a good scotch. Fortunately, I can't afford good scotch generally speaking. Well, okay, I can, but I am unwilling to blow the money on something I consider frivolous.

I'd have to agree wiht Homburg, I love Big Rock Honey Lauger, but money is tight. And my real love of Cuban Cigars is definitely on hold.

 

[Sayyid]

I too love a good scotch but can't really afford it.

 

[bitchee62]

We have played 2-3 times after I have had a couple of drinks I felt perfectly safe each time. My Husband will never play if he feels impaired though, in the 23 years we have been together he has never had enough to drink to lose control of himself ever.
When I drink it is usually an aged Anejo Tequila 2-4 for the night any more than that and I will say exactly what I think. To be honest I do that with no inhibition lowering help.
I don't imbibe often as I hate to make a fool of myself or get sick. So I might drink once a month.
I have more of a problem with the sleeping pills the Dr. gave me (Ambian). I remember waking up one morning thinking that I the dream I had was the wildest/kinkiest dream about sex ever. When I mentioned it later my Husband thought I was hinting that he didn't satisfy me. Tuns out Ambian turns me into a completely uninhibited sex fiend with amnesia. I just wish I could remember more of what happened. The hazy details are just enough to make me very interested in knowing everything that happened.

 

[the captians wench]

I love a good scotch. Fortunately, I can't afford good scotch generally speaking. Well, okay, I can, but I am unwilling to blow the money on something I consider frivolous.

Yet another reason mead is my drink of choice.

We have two brands brewed here locally. Niether brand is more than $10 for a good size bottle, and a bottle will last me a couple of months.

Speaking of which the brew I made is almost ready for a first tasting.

 

[HoHoBomb]

I see nothing wrong with having a beer every night.

 

[00Syd]

I see nothing wrong with having a beer every night.

Or a cocktail.

 

[HoHoBomb]

Or a cocktail.

Cheers!

 

[VelvetDarkness]

That's the big reason Jounar didn't take me to the pubs at night. I'm not much of a drinker, so he said there's not much of a point. *shrug* I might ask him to take me anyway next time I'm there. Just to experience it.

Stick a Tia Maria into a half pint of Guinness, tastes like dark chocolate. Just don't ask me how much sugar there is in it.

 

[ecstaticsub]

We have played 2-3 times after I have had a couple of drinks I felt perfectly safe each time. My Husband will never play if he feels impaired though, in the 23 years we have been together he has never had enough to drink to lose control of himself ever.
When I drink it is usually an aged Anejo Tequila 2-4 for the night any more than that and I will say exactly what I think. To be honest I do that with no inhibition lowering help.
I don't imbibe often as I hate to make a fool of myself or get sick. So I might drink once a month.
I have more of a problem with the sleeping pills the Dr. gave me (Ambian). I remember waking up one morning thinking that I the dream I had was the wildest/kinkiest dream about sex ever. When I mentioned it later my Husband thought I was hinting that he didn't satisfy me. Tuns out Ambian turns me into a completely uninhibited sex fiend with amnesia. I just wish I could remember more of what happened. The hazy details are just enough to make me very interested in knowing everything that happened.

Ambien can be very dangerous for exactly this reason. There are cases where people have taken it and then have been sleep walking or even sleep driving. They have no recollection of what they did when they wake up. It's also why it is not recommended to be taken for sleep on long plane rides.

I don't drink often. A glass of Bailey's in the evening or a few beers watching sports at a pub.

I do enjoy sex with a buzz. I have also played while tipsy but we don't do heavy impact/pain play so the things we do can be safely while a little intoxicated.

 

[bitchee62]

Ambien can be very dangerous for exactly this reason. There are cases where people have taken it and then have been sleep walking or even sleep driving. They have no recollection of what they did when they wake up. It's also why it is not recommended to be taken for sleep on long plane rides.

I don't drink often. A glass of Bailey's in the evening or a few beers watching sports at a pub.

I do enjoy sex with a buzz. I have also played while tipsy but we don't do heavy impact/pain play so the things we do can be safely while a little intoxicated.

Yes I called my Dr and had her change my sleep aid to something less likely to get me in trouble.

I trust my husband to make sure I don't do anything to get hurt or arrested. But he travels a lot so a change had to be made for the sake of my safety, his peace of mind and the neighbors sensibilities. I was more irritated because I couldn't remember everything clearly and from what I do recall it was flaming hot.

After he realized I had no real memory or awareness of what happened he wouldn't let me take that medication again. He spent a week or so feeling guilty that he didn't realize I was detached from the part of my brain that keeps me from believing I'm immortal and invincible(or still young and fit enough to engage in very public play).

If I overindulge I become unable to block out other people, and may and most likely will say something that while true is not necessarily polite.
I do love pain play but having been together for so long I know he won't play if he is not in complete control of himself and of what level of pain/damage he is inflicting on me. This leaves me free to play with a slight buzz.

If I were to ever play with anyone but my husband I wouldn't drink before so I could monitor my reactions and physical condition accurately.

 

[DVS]

I don't drink, for the most part. Well, I do like beer on occasion, such as with Mexican foods, etc. and sometimes after mowing the yard, I like a beer.

Although I've tried to find something I liked, I really don't care much for the taste of hard liquor. It's OK, but I'd much rather have something else, if I have a choice. And I don't like the taste of anything straight. It must be in a mixed drink.

And I don't like to get drunk. I don't mind being tipsy, but I don't enjoy being out of control. It's just me, I guess. I like to know what I did last night, just in case I had fun.

 

[SimonBrooke]

So, there's a lot in the media over here about binge/extreme drinking, especially during the summer vacation season. The experts suggest that most of us binge drink frequently and that even those of us over 30 drink too much wine with meals and so on. So, for those brave enough to bare their fridge/drinks cabinet, I'm curious about people's drinking habits.

You missed out 'I don't drink because I'm a sad bastard.'

So... my question is, how many units do people here consume in an average week and how much of that is drunk all in one night or just at the weekend?

I average less than one unit of alcohol a week, but this is largely because I'm a sad bastard. I've also never had kinky sex on more than a couple of glasses of champagne, again, because I'm a sad bastard. If your idea of kinky sex is a pair of velcro cuffs and an old suede bookmark, then having kinky sex when drunk is probably about as safe as having a bath when drunk. However, if your idea of kinky sex is a pair of velcro cuffs and an old suede bookmark, what the heck are you doing here? For most of the present company I imagine having kinky sex when drunk would be about as safe as driving a Ferrarri Testarossa when drunk - i.e. Don't Do It, People Might Die.

Also, if people have stopped drinking altogether due to a previous problem with alcohol, I'd be interested to hear your stories too, if you'd like to share.

I'd also welcome comments on changes in culture from those older and wiser than I. Haven't young people always got too drunk and been a bit stupid with it? Has there really been a huge change in our drinking habits?

I've been staggering drunk exactly and precisely once in my life. I didn't like it a bit - I do NOT like being out of control. Through my twenties I drank only occasionally. During my thirties I started a volunteer project doing meals for the homeless, and during that period I became teetotal, because I was in effect acting as a role model for a group of people many of whom had alcohol problems. During my forties I gave up being teetotal, because refusing to drink in social situations where everyone else is drinking felt just too pious.

Young people always have got drunk and been stupid. But, it used to be once or twice a year, because they couldn't afford to do it more often. Alcohol is now ridiculously cheap - relatively speaking cheaper than it's been for two hundred years - and young people are relatively richer. So young people are getting a lot drunker a lot more often than the young people of my generation did.

None of us here are into safe sex. It's a defining characteristic of this forum that we're all into more or less dangerous sex. I would imagine in many circumstances it isn't too unsafe to have a drunk pyl - OK, she may not say 'no' when she really ought, but if her PYL is sober he should be taking care of her.

On the other hand, if you are a pyl, letting someone who's had two glasses of wine tie you up and hit you is definitely a very dangerous sexual behaviour indeed, and if you're going to do that with a PYL who's drunk a bottle of wine (or who may drink a bottle of wine after he's tied you up and before he starts hitting you) then please sign this will made out in favour of me first. People should be free to take their own risks, and I'm not objecting to people choosing their own unsafe sex practices; but don't underestimate the extent to which even modest amounts of alcohol affect your judgement.

Has he checked your bonds are not too tight? Is he taking care not to hit you too hard? Is he taking care not to hit your delicate organs, such as kidneys? Is his aim good enough to be sure of missing things he doesn't mean to hit? Will he think it's funny to stick the wine bottle neck up your arse, and will he then out of clumsiness accidentally break it? Will he think that it doesn't really matter ignoring your safeword just this once? Has he noticed that you are no longer breathing?

You PYL is presumably very fond of you (I'm not speaking just to you, Velvet). He presumably values you. You may know that he would not deliberately injure you. But when he's drunk he's not in control - and when bound, your safety is entirely dependent on him being in control. If you choose to take the risk, that is your right, and your choice. But don't underestimate the magnitude of the risk.

 

[Netzach]

I'm kind of a lightweight and I tend to get very vomity before I could ever get to the blacking out point.

That said, I could be as wasted as I can get without throwing up all over the place, and still be able to restrain someone up and flog/hit/101 level corporal them without killing them. I'd use restraints that were not the most complex, make sure I had my damn EMT shears, and I still know how to navigate a kidney, and how to not hit someone in the face even on a two second delay.

It just doesn't sound any FUN at all. Ugh.

I've never done this, but I *could* do this.

Some shit we do is absolutely deadly from a misplaced moment. Wax and fireplay. Bondage can be if it's not planned and monitored.

However a lot of things we do are actually not rocket science. I know it's important to treat them seriously, but I dislike a kind of magical thinking that attempts to intimidate new people out of doing anything.

This whole dialogue is interesting. When I've taught workshops to a predominantly GLBT leather audience, I've completely learned to stuff my high horse about playing high or wasted and accept that people do. A lot. And focus on making that safer and making people comfortable dealing with their own boundaries in a world where that's a given. It's perfectly fine to only be willing to play sober ever. It's also perfectly fine not to make that choice if you're aware of your risks and ways to mitigate them.

My attitude is that if you're going to top someone on something, try and ascertain what he's on, so you know what may happen. Try and acertain if he's been partying in a way you're not OK with or more than you're OK with. And VV. Try and have those dialogues in a way that doesn't feel stilted judgemental and after school special like. "You been partying some?" It's no more drama-inducing than having the condom moment.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

SB, I get what you're saying but we really don't take undue risks. We don't do anything like bondage (with the occasional exception of cuffed wrists), breathplay or heavy impact play after drinking. He might give me throat the odd squeeze but it's not hard enough to cut off my breathing completely and it's not for more than a second or two. It's usually a rough sex session, with maybe some spanking/slapping/biting, semi-aggressive face-fucking and semi-dry anal. You might not get behind the wheel of a Ferrari but roller blades or a bicycle are only mildly hazardous if you keep off the motorway. It's all about what you consider to be reasonable risk. I accept there is risk in inebriated sex but I don't feel that the risks we take are of any real magnitude. I'm talking mild-moderate drunkenness here too, not paralytic sex.

 

[SimonBrooke]

You know, I'm developing a taste for good whisky. Kinda weird for some one who doesn't really drink much.

Whisky is about the only alcohol I drink. I used to have a big collection of malts, but only a few are left now. My favourites are the Orkney malts - Highland Park and Scapa. A friend once gave me a bottle of 26 year old Scapa, and it was heavenly.

I'll have at most one small glass in an evening, and rarely more than once a fortnight.

 

[SimonBrooke]

SB, I get what you're saying but we really don't take undue risks. We don't do anything like bondage (with the occasional exception of cuffed wrists), breathplay or heavy impact play after drinking. He might give me throat the odd squeeze but it's not hard enough to cut off my breathing completely and it's not for more than a second or two. It's usually a rough sex session, with maybe some spanking/slapping/biting, semi-aggressive face-fucking and semi-dry anal. You might not get behind the wheel of a Ferrari but roller blades or a bicycle are only mildly hazardous if you keep off the motorway. It's all about what you consider to be reasonable risk. I accept there is risk in inebriated sex but I don't feel that the risks we take are of any real magnitude. I'm talking mild-moderate drunkenness here too, not paralytic sex.

Velvet, I wasn't criticising. Your life is your life - and I have to say that, judged by your posts here, you are a person I respect and whose opinions I consider worth listening to. There are plenty of things I do which are dangerous, and I know they're dangerous, but my choice is nevertheless to do them. None of us would be kinked if it was important for us to be safe all the time.

But, take care of yourself, if only because this place is brighter when you're around!

 

[Corylea]

Everyone has the right to make their own decisions and to decide what level of risk is acceptable to them -- no question about that. But I think the ubiquity of alcohol in our culture makes a lot of people underestimate its risks, in the same way that the ubiquity of cars makes some people fail to realize that they are driving a two-ton Moving Death Machine.

Even one or two drinks lowers a person's ability to make good judgments, to plan, to exercise foresight, to anticipate consequences, and to exercise self-control.

I have never heard anyone say that making good judgments and exercising self-control were optional abilities in a top or that a top who was "only" doing impact play didn't need those qualities.

A lot of people talk as if the only thing they need to take into account when drinking are such physical things as balance or ability to aim. A person's judgment and self-control are impaired long before they start staggering. A person can have drunk a small enough amount that they're still able to be accurate with their whip ... while still having drunk enough not to be making good judgments about what to do with this accuracy.

This isn't aimed at anyone in particular. And we're all adults here, so your decisions are absolutely up to you. But I think that our social norms obscure some of what really happens to people who drink, and I think the importance of such things as good judgment and self-control only become obvious when those things are lacking, by which time it's too late.

Play hard but play as safely as your kinks allow -- ALL of you are too precious to lose!

 

[ShyVixen]

Just ask ShyVixen how much I drink.. lol!


Seriously though, I would probably class myself as a binge drinker. I do enjoy the occaisional drink every now and then (a couple after work, or a few cocktails/drinks during a meal/date etc) but then I go out and I can drink quite a bit. I am normally pretty good at holding it, and I understand my limits as I never go too far, but I still drink alot compared to the average person.
Like today for example, I must of consumed 18 units or so during the day. This would be pretty common for a night out for me, or a day drinking etc. I will be honest, I do enjoy a drink, and it probably is bad for me. But like I said, I know when I have had enough.

As for drink and play etc, this is not common at all. Drinking and sexual play might be, but not BDSM based.

Oh yes, he can drink quite a lot (and not be affected by it I might add)!

I don't drink that much thinking about it. A few cocktails or a couple of glasses of wine with a meal. There are rare occasions I will have more drinks than my norm.

My problem with alcohol is I can keep drinking and it won't hit me until an hour after I've consumed my last drink- that's always a bad thing

I'm a worrier, an over thinker, the only time that trait is taken away is when I've had a few glasses of wine (not to a point where my inhibitions are gone, or I've lost control, just panicking less about what people think, myself, the situation. I don't need alcohol to relax.) and it's made for some interesting sex

Never indulged in a heavy BDSM scene after alcohol, but thinking about it with my PYL's tolerance for alcohol, I trust him.