Dreams?

[cryforme1v]

I know this sounds weird.
But for the past 6 years or so, i have woken up every single night to really bad dreams. I've actually kicked my boyfriend so hard during one of the dreams that we had to take him to the hospital because he was peeing blood and i kicked him in the stomach.
in the last 3 months or so, my dreams have been less consistent and not as violent. The boyfriend and i have been talking through my issues instead of just trying to ignore them, which makes me think its actually helping with the dreams.
But for the past 2 weeks, not only are my dreams peaceful - but overly so.
Sat night for example- i had a dream that we had gotten married and had another baby. this is completely out of the ordinary for me and I'm kinda shocked by it because neither of us are ready for either, financially or emotionally. But anyways, i woke up Sunday morning and just felt terrible. Great dream but terrible after affects. I just laid in bed for about an hour after i woke up, boyfriend came in the room and seen me still laying there so we sat there and he talked the entire dream out of me. He told me he'll always be there for me, and that the dream may just come true.


I know it was just a dream and holds no real merit, but how come i still feel like a pathetic peon? I can go about my day like nothing happened when i have the bad dreams. How come the good ones, that I'm finally starting to have, make me feel like I'm shit?

 

[SweetErika]

Is it possible you don't feel you deserve good dreams, or the good things that happen in the pleasant dreams?

 

[chauktaw]

The last dream may seem like a good dream, when in actuality it was a bad dream. I used to have bad dreams myself, to the point of thinking that I would not survive in the dreams. Fortunately, I went and had a sleep study. The results were that I would get stuck in the second level of sleep where the vivid dreams take place, and never get beyond. The reason was sleep apnea, I would stop breathing 50 times an hour. Now with a CPAP machine to correct this, I am not dream free, but they aren't even half as bad or as frequent.

Go get a sleep study, Sleep Apnea may be the cause.

 

[cryforme1v]

i dont think its from sleep apnea. I started having the dreams after i left a very abusive ex fiance.
Unless you can get sleep apnea from traumatic experiences?

 

[cryforme1v]

Is it possible you don't feel you deserve good dreams, or the good things that happen in the pleasant dreams?

and to be honest, i dont know. Like i said, just now in response to the other person, they started after i left an abusive ex.
I just dont understand how i can go from dreams that are terrible and be "meh ok" to dreams that are awesome and feel like dirt. It just doesnt seem to make sense. I could be over analyzing everything.
Things with the boyfriend have been going great the last few months, especially since he came up with the idea of talking it all out to him and not hold it in like i have been for the past 5-6+ years. The idea of seeing a counselor or something, just doesnt seem like something i can do. I'm not very good with talking to people so talking face to face with a complete stranger about personal issues seems a bit much for me.

 

[cryforme1v]

seems none of my questions were touched so i'm just going to leave it at that i guess.
Thanks Erika and Chauktaw for responding

 

[liv21]

i dont think its from sleep apnea. I started having the dreams after i left a very abusive ex fiance.
Unless you can get sleep apnea from traumatic experiences?

Maybe not sleep apnea, but perhaps PTSD? Don't know much about it myself, but I can only imagine that can manifest itself subconsciously--in dreams.

 

[SweetErika]

seems none of my questions were touched so i'm just going to leave it at that i guess.
Thanks Erika and Chauktaw for responding

What questions?

No, you don't get sleep apnea from abuse. I suppose you might be breathing weird if you're experiencing a great deal of anxiety in your sleep, but that's probably about it. It might be something to ask your doctor about if your curious.

Asking us to interpret your dreams is asking too much. You're the best person to figure out what's going on with you. Since you don't seem to have any idea or inclination to find out with the help of a trained professional, how are we supposed to know what the deal is? I'm betting your conflicting feelings after good dreams and nightmares is a self-esteem/worth issue, but that's really just a guess based on the little you've told us.

 

[VelvetSin]

Going to the doctor for a check-up doesn't hurt anything, and you may find a biological reason for the problem. There are a variety of different things that can interrupt or influence a good night's sleep, and you won't know until you get checked out. You might not find any answers, but at worst you'll be up-to-date with the doc.

Have you tried to keep a sleep diary? Write down your bedtime, and if you wake during the night, just scratch down the time. When you dream, in the morning write what it was about and how it made you feel. If anything eventful happens during the day, maybe take a note of that also, but definitely track your night patterns. There may be triggers you're just not seeing because you're focused on the emotions, which can be normal, but a running list may help you spot things like a late bedtime or a bunch of middle-of-the-night wake-ups that are disrupting your sleep patterns. And if you do ultimately decide to follow the first advice and go to the doctor, it can be a very useful tool to provide to help them see potential answers.

Dreams that may seem like they should make you feel one way can often make you feel another. I used to have very vivid dreams, and when I woke from the good ones, I often felt sad and disappointed they were not real. Now, I'm lucky if I remember a dream at all, good or bad. Who is to say what a normal response to a dream is? They're dreams. Our subconscious has strange ways of communicating, and without knowing all the little details about you and about the dream itself, it would be extremely hard to try to help interpret. For that kind of help, you would honestly need to see a different type of doc. And that doesn't mean you're unbalanced or insane. Professionals are there to offer a service, and if you need to use it, there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[mitchmo]

You should see your doctor/provider and ask for a referral to sleep specialist. There are some very real disorders that can lead to dreams like that. Normally while dreaming, you are paralyzed so that you don't act out the dreams. You might be suffering from one of the disorders where this goes wrong. I think they are called REM Sleep behavior disorders. There are also night terrors which are worse than night mares but your "Fighting" during the dream kind of puts it into the other category. Certainly I am no expert, I would recommend that you get checked out. Your previous relationship might well be the cause so you should continue to seek help in that regard, but the REM sleep behavior disorders are also very real. You can sometimes find information on them by looking up parasomnias. Many primary care providers won't know enough about them to be of much help - that part of really understanding sleep disorders is pretty specialized.