Dreamer

[pink_silk_glove]

The television broadcast was like a sporting event. I was a game to be watched and everyone was scoring. Beth's face rocked over me, her hair pulled back and her breath panting through her open mouth. I realized that she was getting fucked, slowly and gently, but I couldn't see by who.

There was a pleasant fuzziness in the entrance to my pussy. As the feeling in my extremities faded, it left my mind to focus on the quiet elation rising in my sex. Aaron felt good inside me even as he pounded away rather relentlessly, by this time pretty much disregarding the tempo dictated by Felicia. His palms gripped my thighs for leverage while his hips rippled my flesh with the forceful impacts. I could tell that Felicia was upset that he was ignoring her.

"You're going to cum in her, arent you?" she sneered at him, hissing with teeth gnashing. "Aren't you?"

At that point I didn't think that another load would make much difference. The sound of the crowd had become more subdued but it was as if they were focusing in on the show. I was still held in place - legs up by the ankles, arms away by the elbows and head braced by the neck - although I had no inkling to move, over than the random twitches and gyrations from my spine and hips that often accompany sexual pleasure.

A warmth began to fill my depths and I thought that Aaron must have been cumming but he was still fucking me. Then at the very grinding bottom of one of his impaling strokes, his teeth gritted and I could see the trembles running up and down his abs. When he drew back slowly I watched the bulge traverse his shaft from his balls to my entrance, like a cartoon would depict an object moving through a garden hose, confirming his ejaculation. Another bulge followed the first and then he hilted back into me with a grunt as a delirious grin spread across his lips and his eyeballs rolled around in his sockets.

"Arrrgh!" Felicia stepped away and stomped, her hair suddenly spiking into sharp zigzags. After all of that she was not at all happy. "You asshole!" she spat hoarsely at her oblivious boyfriend, then throwing her head back, she screamed to the night sky, her locks fanning out from her skull in black lightning bolts with each harsh and scathing syllable. There was an ovation from the audience, but it was just applause. There was no hooting nor hollering, but a beautiful rush of applause. My body felt disconnected, as if floating on a cloud. It was tranquil, despite that fact that in the background Felicia stormed about the field in anguish, blurting obscenities and pulling on her hair. Even though much of her anger was directed at me, I still felt safe. Throughout the ordeal she still had not touched me and I sensed that for whatever reason that she couldn't and wouldn't.

Beth let go of my throat as she sighed and a contented smile crept over her lips. Who ever was doing her had finished. I picked my head up and noticed that the crowd was filtering out the exits. I could pick out people's faces even in the top rows. Keisha was there with her trademark cornrows. I saw the mole on Anna-May's cheek. Vince, in his blue leather motorcycle jacket filed past. My handlers then one by one let go of my limbs. My feet dropped to the ground. The show was over.

My fingers felt to inspect my sex. I could sense my flesh but the texture seemed absent and serene, and the warmth of Aaron's load, on top of the others, sweetly radiated inside me. I gazed up at the stars for a moment, perceiving the Earth's patient but steady rotation beneath them. Everything was absolutely beautiful. Then I noticed the silence around me and picked my head up to look around. Everyone was gone, even Beth. The stadium was gone too. I was lying naked on my back in the middle of the field. The rabbits were there again. There were seven of them all around me. They were adorable and I was afraid to move and risk scaring them off. A couple of them were black. One was silvery-grey. The rest were cute splotchy brown colors. One of the calicos nudged the back of my hand.

 

[WatchingCloud]

I was spent. Emotionally, physically, ethically. I knew what I'd just done was wrong, so why had it felt so right? Were the repercussions going to hit me later? Probably, and I'd deserve it.

Julie, though all this, still looked so peaceful. How much of this had worked its way into her subconscious? Had she enjoyed it as much as I'd believed or projected along the way?

I leaned forward and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "My sweet little miss. Maybe a little less innocent, but no less lovely."

"Thank you, Mr. Z," she said through a yawn. Her lips curled up in an easy smile as her eyes closed. Poor little thing was spent.

I rose to my knees, my cum-slick cock popping out of her glistening pussy. Proof of my indiscretion, of our union. I felt strangely protective and possessive over her.

While her breathing evened out with sleep, I retreated to the bathroom and soaked a washcloth in warm water. I returned to the bedroom and gently cleaned the young woman, then cleaned myself. I removed the ties binding her arms and legs to the corners of the bed and returned these to the closet.

Much as I wanted to crawl into bed with her, fall asleep with our naked bodies entwined, I knew it was impossible. The morning to come wouldn't be the night that I remembered, no matter how I wished it so. Carefully, reverently, I dressed Julie back in all her clothing save her shoes, which I left neatly placed on the floor beside the bed.

I dressed in my own clothes, then made another inspection of the room. Much as could be done, I left it and her as I had found them. I gave her one last kiss upon the lips.

"Sweet dreams, my little miss."

I turned off the lights and slipped quietly out of the room, closing the door behind me. My daughter's room was finally, blessedly quiet, as was the rest of the house. It was nearly three in the morning and I again cringed at the sight of the living room in the wake of the party. There would be a reckoning with my daughter later, but for now I needed sleep. Hopefully, not to be haunted by my own dreams.

I cleared space on the couch, laid back, and stared up at the ceiling beyond which was that beautiful young woman.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

The grass had grown tall, wildly tall, and I was confused as to how it had sprung up without me noticing. Some of the blades even had leaf sheaths and there were a few blossoms on them as they swayed gently in the night air. Feeling an urgency to not be left behind all alone in the field, I sat up and waded through the grass looking for an exit. It was time to go home and get some clothes. Soon I was stumbling and ended up crawling through the tangles, my limbs moving awkwardly as I struggled. I raised my head to find my way but all I could see was the empty stands in the distance. I wasn't sure how long this would take but I was determined. It was a struggle to crawl through the grass and weeds. Then suddenly my arms and legs began making better progress. I raised my head again and found that I was much closer. I could see an exit tunnel not far away, and with renewed vigor I clambered to the edge of the grass and tumbled out onto the concrete edge.

Dusting myself off, I stood. The exit tunnel gaped black before me. Taking a breath, I rushed in. It was pitch black. I thought it would have been much shorter but I told myself that it was the middle of the night and that the other end was probably just not very visible until I got there. Then there was a soft glow against a wall ahead. The passage came to a T. Both ways looked identical. I went left.

It was long and narrow and had a single door at the end. I started forward and there was a man in a fedora and trenchcoat ahead. His collar was turned up. As I passed him, I could see his face light up as he turned to me. I tried to hurry. There was another man, identical to the first. As I picked up my steps, he noticed me too. I could see the excitement rise in his eyes under the brim of his hat. Ahead there were more of them, all identically clad in hats and coats. They seemed to be searching the hallway until eventually they would see me and perk up. It felt dangerous. I tried to run but my legs moved so dreadfully slowly, like wading through waist deep muck, and the more impatient that I became the more that they all seemed to notice me and slowly be drawn to my nakedness. There were dozens of them now, clones all leering at my body. I tried to slip between two of them. One leaned into me and bumped me into the wall. My heart started to pound in fear as I squeezed past. I didn't know what they wanted.

They moved slowly, like zombies, but there were so many of them and the passage was narrow. The door was still a ways off. I had to get there. I brushed between the trenchcoats, hearing their voices hum sweetly in approval of my form. I could tell by the expressions on their identical faces that they were all very glad to see me. The bodies became so thick I could barley move any longer. I held my arms up to my chest in protection. One of the trenchcoats fell open to reveal a naked man, his crimson erection straining towards me. They pressed in close around me and I whimpered in fright. The men immediately around me began opening their coats and rubbing up against me. I couldn't believe that this was happening and wanted to go back and try the right side passage but it was too late. They were dry humping up against me and I knew that they were trying to get inside my pussy to fuck me as they jostled for the optimal position in front of me. I was backed against the wall and one of them pinned me there, leaning forward on me, just bucking and rubbing himself and his dick on me, arms at his sides. He was just humping away, smearing precum onto my tummy hoping to find my entrance with his cock. I tried to close my thighs but they weren't very responsive. The hall was full of them now, hundreds of trenchcoats and fedoras all murmuring their infatuation of me as they bustled haphazardly to get close. There were four or five in contact with me, as the others jockeyed behind, bumping and nudging me with their torsos, oddly refusing to use their arms to subdue me. The one in front of me was bucking wilder now, as if he had realized that if he dug his hips lower, he'd find the spot that he was looking for. I writhed for freedom but it was futile. Further lower he humped, probing my bush and slipping over my mons. It was only a matter of time. His tip nuzzled against my slit. I tried to reach in and push it away but our bodies were too close and my arms felt lethargic. Then with a satisfied moan, he entered me. I had lost.

I shot awake with a gasp and stared at the ceiling and its subtle shadows. My mouth was quite dry. Slowly, my bearings came to me. I was in Beth's house, in the master bedroom alone. Everything was quiet. The party was over and I had no idea how long I had been passed out. The bedside clock read 3:47.

My bra and panties felt funny, like they needed adjusting, and my skirt felt kind of twisted. My shirt was creased behind my back as I lay there. I sat myself up and was immediately dizzy. My head wasn't feeling well at all and I could hear the lead thump of my rapid pulse in my ears. Down below, I was mucky.

Embarrassed and disoriented, I had to get out of there. I needed to get home before someone noticed the state that I was in. Rolling off the bed, I stumbled out to the hall and into the bathroom. Kneeling before the toilet, I vomited. Then I grabbed hold of the counter and dragged my face up to the sink to freshen myself and rinse out my mouth. Then I slumped down onto the floor, back against the cabinet, and realized what had happened. I'd had sex with someone, or they had had sex with me, and I began to cry when I realized that I wasn't sure. I didn't know who. I couldn't recall any of it.

 

[WatchingCloud]

Sleep wouldn't come. I should have been exhausted. I was exhausted. And hung-over and bitter and now remorseful. Yup, hadn't taken long, but the reality of what I'd just done started settling on my chest like a heart attack. Maybe I was about to have one. Might be a blessing at this point.

So I kept laying there on the couch and staring at the dark ceiling, hoping for sleep to save me from the nightmare of my reality. Was I really that guy? That schmuck? I didn't think so, yet...

I heard the subtle hum of water running through the pipes. A toilet had flushed upstairs. From the master bathroom or the other bathroom? There were probably three people up there, so it didn't necessarily mean anything. Part of me, though, suspected it was Julie. On the one hand, it would be a good thing, meaning whatever drug had been in her system hadn't done anything truly damaging. On the flipside, she might be awake enough to want to go home, which meant she could be coming down those steps any minute now.

Go check? Wait and then...face her? Pretend to be asleep? Go hide in the basement?

I decided to wait and see. If it was my daughter, I certainly was in no mood or condition to deal with that confrontation at this ungodly hour. Wait and agonize.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I just wanted to get out of there but I knew that if I got up I'd just fall over. I had to wait until the nausea subsided enough before I could move. Rolling onto my side, I sprawled out on the floor and found the coolness of the tiles beneath my cheek actually rather soothing. After a while however, their hardness became uncomfortable and I had to move, but I wasn't sure that my head was ready yet to raise. I had to try. Sitting up, I reached for the edge of the counter top and pulled myself to my feet, resting my elbows to steady myself. I caught my breath and then turned the faucet for a couple more handfuls of water. I was still a bit dizzy but I felt that I could make it out of there.

Staggering out the doorway and into the hall, I grabbed the railing to start carefully down the stairs. Not only did I have to watch my step, I had to go slow enough as to not aggravate my nausea in my descent. Reaching the bottom, I leaned against the wall to catch my breath again, wishing that I didn't have so far to go. Then I started off across the foyer with uneven steps before I reached the front door. My head was starting to spin again. I leaned against the door, clutching the knob in the hope that my wooziness would let me turn it and exit the house. Then I remembered that my purse was somewhere, but didn't know where. I leaned back against the door, slid down into a heap of defeat and began to dry, although is was too dehydrated to form tears.

 

[WatchingCloud]

From the living room couch, my entire world became every little sound that deviated from the background hum of the air conditioning. After the flush, I anticipated silence, no answers. A few minutes later, however, I heard soft footsteps. Someone was coming down the stairs. The foot falls were uneven and slow, leading me to believe it was Julie, finally conscious from her drugged state.

Should I get up and check? If it was her, she might be trying to leave while in no condition to do so. I was exhausted and hung over, but at least mostly in command of my facilities. But could I face an awake Julie without my shame and guilt printed across my face like a Broadway marquee?

As I lay there, frozen and listening, I heard the unknown person reach the bottom of the stairs and take a few steps toward the front door. And then... Stop? Slump down? I wasn't certain.

I finally couldn't take the uncertainty any longer and got up. I only had to take a few steps before I could see into the dimly lit foyer. It was Julie and she looked rough, no longer the sweet sleeping angel I'd so recently...

I choked down my reaction.

"Julie?" I said softly, trying not to startle her. I rubbed my eyes as if clearing the sleep. "You okay?"

 

[pink_silk_glove]

"Julie? You okay?"

I'd heard the footsteps but didn't have the strength to move. I'd lost control of everything and now my shame was on record. I'd been busted and not only that, by Mr Zigglebauer. I thought of all the trouble that Beth would likely be in as well for letting the party get far larger and out of hand than she was allowed to.

"Yes," I whispered with a nod. It was a lie of course but I wasn't going to admit anything, certainly not to him. My hand covered my face as I sniffed a tear that was too dry to fall. It merely gummed my eyelash. I thought my nausea would slowly subside the longer that I tried to relax, but another wave seemed to be coming on.

My stomach convulsed and I flopped over onto my side, my elbow propping me. Then I heaved but nothing came out. I heaved and retched again, coughing at the end and wheezing for breath but thankfully everything was still dry. Puking on the floor in front of Beth's dad would have been beyond embarrassing.

"I'm sorry," I panted, a clear shudder in my voice and my hands shaking with sickness. I hated myself.

 

[WatchingCloud]

Geez, seeing her in this state made me sick to my stomach. To think she'd looked so peaceful and innocent while I was...

I shook my head and knelt beside her, offering a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"No apologies necessary," I said softly. "And forgive me if I don't believe that you're alright.

"I'll have words with my daughter later, but for now I just want to make sure you get home okay. Can I give you a ride? Or do you just need to let your head clear for a bit. Maybe a drink of water?"

 

[pink_silk_glove]

When he placed his hand on my shoulder I knew that he had meant well, but it was still humiliating. It was like I had nowhere to hide and the harder that I tried to be invisible, he still found me out. All of my shame was exposed to him and it was probably about to get worse.

"No apologies necessary. And forgive me if I don't believe that you're all right," he said. I wasn't all right. He had me there, but that just made it worse.

"Well ... I'll be all right," I clarified shakily. "I just need some fresh air."

"I'll have words with my daughter later, but for now I just want to make sure you get home okay. Can I give you a ride? Or do you just need to let your head clear for a bit. Maybe a drink of water?"

I could not have been more humiliated. On top of that, Beth was going to get in big time shit and I was a big reason why. If I hadn't been in the shape that I was - if Mr Z hadn't come home to find a fucked up teen girl sick in his toilet - her situation wouldn't be nearly so bad. I was embarrassed to accept his help but some water was probably a good idea, and as aspirin, but I wasn't about to ask for that.

"Maybe I'll have some water," I breathed.

As I shifted my legs to get somewhat comfortable, I felt the gooeyness inside me. I was certain now. There was no denying that someone had cum in me. Mr Z seemed so close to my horrible secret - that someone had been in my pussy and that I'd had no idea how or even who. I didn't even know if I'd given consent. How could I have let this happen? I thought of all the guys at the party, imagining their faces one by one, and wondered how I would be able to look any of them in the eye ever again, not knowing what they thought of me, if they even were the one. Perhaps there was more than one. Maybe someone was bragging about it and everyone knew. I shuddered a fresh sob at the thought. I needed to talk to Beth to find out what she might know. I felt so cheap - worse than cheap, worthless in fact. If Mr Z knew what I had done that night, he'd lose any and all respect for me. I was worse than a whore. I was a total slut.

 

[WatchingCloud]

At least Julie accepted my offer of water. That gave me a chance to get up and clear my mind for a moment. Seeing her in such a rough state, both physically and emotionally... Honestly, I felt inside like she looked on the outside. What the fuck had I been thinking earlier? All my anger and frustration, and I'd unleashed it on this sweet, unwilling and unwitting victim. Just couldn't keep it to myself, could I? Maybe my wife saw something broken in me I'd missed. Maybe she wasn't the sole problem.

I nodded and headed off to the kitchen, pouring a glass of water. I took a moment, for both of us, but didn't go so slowly that she would have time to sneak away. Not that she'd get very far in your current state if you tried.

I came back and knelt beside her at a comforting but respectful distance and hand over the glass.

"Small sips," I said, having been in a similar state myself more than a couple times in my younger days.

Would she let me drive her home? Julie hadn't turned me down outright, but I didn't want to press until she'd had a few minutes to recover.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Mr Z returned to hand me the water, backing off as I took it.

"Small sips."

I lifted the glass to my mouth and tipped it up, wetting my tongue and filling my mouth. I wanted to swallow and not swallow at the same time but I let my lips soak on the surface while I let half of it trickle down my throat, waiting a moment before gulping the rest. Then I set the glass down on the floor next to my hip while I huffed a recovering breath. I wanted another swallow but didn't have the energy yet. My head was throbbing and my eyes felt like they were being squeezed out the front of their sockets.

"Thank you," I breathed. "I just need a couple more minutes. Then I can walk home," I explained between panting huffs, hoping that what I had just said was true. Outside would be better, I told myself. The air would be cool and fresh and I only had to go six or seven blocks. Really I just wanted to pass out again, just not on the floor in front of Beth's front door - or her Dad.

 

[WatchingCloud]

As I watched Julie manage down a sip of water (barely), I found it harder to picture her as the young, alluring woman of the fantasy I'd constructed. It's still her under the tired eyes and drug-addled body, but the reality carried much harsher lines compared with the warm fuzziness of my imagination. In some twisted way, though, I felt more drawn to her.

She kept insisting on getting herself home, walking no less. I wasn't sure she could make it to the sidewalk in front of our house.

I slid down against a nearby wall until I was sitting an amicable distance away, not wanting to crowd her.

"This is probably hard to imagine, but I've been there before. Partied so hard I scarcely knew who or where I was. Woke up after some friends dragged me out of danger. Hell, there were a couple times I probably should have been taken to the hospital.

"Looking back, yeah, probably wasn't the best idea. But what I'm getting at is that I want you to know I'm not judging."

I closed my eyes for a few moments.

"If you'd rather walk and think you're up to it, that's fine. But not alone. I'll either walk with you or drive you. Or you can sleep it off here. Those are the only choices I'll accept." I tried to make it clear that I'm firm on the point while still being soft and sympathetic.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Mr Z lowered himself to my level, trying to ease his way into my world but despite his efforts he was still stuck in another generation. Besides, I didn't want anyone in my world at that moment. I didn't need any witnesses. When he began his speech about 'being there' it confirmed it. I wasn't buying it. He couldn't know what I was really dealing with. He was a guy. If he had ever had sex without remembering, his friends would have called him a stud. Then he said that he wasn't judging, but of course he was. All adults judge teens, whether they're their own kids or not. I could not imagine anyone seeing me then and there and not judging, especially Beth's dad. It wasn't like I didn't have an idea of what kind of trouble she was in for throwing this party. That's judgment.

"If you'd rather walk and think you're up to it, that's fine. But not alone. I'll either walk with you or drive you. Or you can sleep it off here. Those are the only choices I'll accept."

They were the only choices? Fuck! He was not my peer as he was acting to be. He was playing the father figure through and through. It could not have made me more uncomfortable, like I needed another admonishing disapproving parent. I already had three of those, a somewhat estranged mom a totally unpleaseable dad and a stepmom who was nothing more than that.

He couldn't stop me. If he came after me or tried to touch me I could scream if I needed. I had to go. It was my mess and I had to get out of it myself. Putting the water down on the floor, I pulled on the doorknob to get to my feet, then gave it a twist to feel the rush of cool night air on my face and up my sleeves and skirt onto my skin. I breathed it in a moment and gave my head a chance to stabilize somewhat.

"I gotta go," I said finally and inhaled again in preparation. "I'll be fine," I slurred, widened the arc of the door to slip through, probably tipping over the water glass. I was pretty sure that I heard it rolling around but wasn't about to clean it up. Staggering down the walk to the driveway, I stopped to steady myself, then pressed on without looking back.

 

[WatchingCloud]

The reality of the Julie in front of me is such a disconnect from the construct I'd made in my mind... It makes me feel all the worse for what I did. I'm very unsettled, too, like this is more the dream than my fantasies.

I watch, trying not to jump to your aid, as you insist on letting yourself out. You knock your water over and just keep going, closing the door behind you as you slip into the night as quickly as you can manage.

I sigh. There's a lot in common between her and my daughter, which twists the dagger in my gut even further.

Peering out through the window, I can just make out your figure stumbling down the sidewalk. So far, so good, I guess. The cool air will probably help. I fight the urge to go after you, to be "responsible." After a minute, I do step out, just to look down the block. You're already out of sight.

I go back in, clean up the spilled water, and then return to the couch. Yeah, my bed is free now, but... I just can't do that yet. Between what happened and the shit storm that's soon to come with both my daughter and wife, pure exhaustion isn't enough to bring sleep.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

He didn't seem to be following. I didn't turn around to see as I didn't have the energy, but after one wobbly block down the street, it was clear that he was not there. Thankfully, I didn't have to give the "You're not my Dad" speech. I kept my legs moving. The weather was nice. The air was fresh. I had a rest in the park on the bench in the baseball dugout. I wasn't sure how long, but when I snapped to, feeling a chill on my arms and legs, I could see the pink hue of pre-sunrise.

The next day I was sick. Totally dehydrated, I ran the faucet over my lips, only managing to swallow a trickle. I was hungry but with no appetite, and dizzy when standing. I spent some time over the toilet in the afternoon, then had another nap. When I woke my appetite came back for dinner.

Over the next few days I was better but still felt funny, like I was still recovering. Dreading Monday at school, I dressed as inconspicuously as possible in a large plain black hoodie and a ball cap, keeping my head down. No one said anything. No one looked at me funny - or at least I didn't notice. Tuesday was the same. No one seemed to care. It was as if nothing had happened. When I dared, from across a classroom out of the corner of my eye while they were unaware, I tried to read people's thoughts. What did they know? Has she heard any gossip? Was he the one who fucked me? What about him. I got no answers.

A week later I threw up again. It was second period English. I excused myself feeling nauseous. Cramps usually didn't do that to me but whatever. I went to the girls' room and felt better. Then a couple days after that it happened again. It was right at the end of lunch, so I missed the start of geography and then skipped it all together.

I was at Beth's. There was no one home one afternoon after school a couple of weeks later. At least we thought we were alone. We were in the bathroom. I sat on the toilet in my black coarse knit sweater with my pink cami underneath showing through. My faded jeans were off lying crumpled on the floor and my panties were around my ankles. I was crying and Beth was consoling me, on her knees before me and running her fingers through my hair. She was looking after me. It was very sweet but she just couldn't keep me calm. My breath shook, my hands trembled and hot tears smeared my cheeks. The lump in my throat finally gave way to a desperate whine.

"It's gonna be okay," Beth whispered, her sniffle giving away that she had started crying too. Her lips actually felt cool when she pressed them to my forehead. Beth shimmied in beside me and hugged me. I hugged back, clinging to her, and the two of us tearfully embraced on the toilet with the plastic stick showing two little pink stripes sat on the corner of the counter next to us.

 

[WatchingCloud]

The next couple weeks following the party and what I did that night, to say nothing of my having ditched my wife, Jeanine, on vacation, were a predictable mess. The biggest surprise was that my wife didn't freak about me leaving. Nor was she surprised I wanted a divorce...she brought it up before I could. In fact, she seemed eager for the excuse to move out, and in with another guy I'd never heard of before. What a piece of work, that woman, not that I'm one to talk.

Yeah, I felt like complete shit after what I did. I had the cover of impending divorce to cover for my emotional turmoil. Our daughter, Beth, didn't seem thrilled with being sick with me, but she might have even been more pissed at Jeanine for ditching her. So...pretty much everything was a mess, too much to take in and process.

One day over lunch, I got a call from a lawyer Jeanine had retained for the divorce. He needed some paperwork from our house, the sooner the better. I didn't have much going at work that afternoon, so my boss let me bail early. It was later enough I figured Beth might be home. Sure enough, as I climbed the stairs, I heard something. Pausing, I heard it again. Sniffling?

Cue guilty dad feelings again. I figured she was crying over the whole divorce crap after doing a commendable job of keeping it together to this point. Well, time to be the responsible parent and go help her through it.

I reached the top step and saw lights on through the open bathroom door down the hall. I headed down and called out softly just before getting there so as not to startle her. "Beth, everything okay?"

I looked into the bathroom and was shocked to see Julie sitting on the toilet with Beth beside her...consoling? Two sets of teary eyes looked up at me and I immediately jumped back out of view.

"Sorry, sorry!" I said quickly. "I didn't realize... Sorry. I'll, uh, leave you..."

I hurried noisily downstairs. In that span, though, my brain caught up to the image from the bathroom. The girls...the little plastic stick sitting on the counter. Oh shit. Oh, oh, oh...

I hurried to the kitchen, ran cold water, and splashed my face.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Beth's Dad poked his head in. He caught a glimpse as he looked at us and down at the test. I gasped in shock, body tensed.

"Sorry, sorry!"

Immediately he ducked out of sight but it was too late.

"Dad!" Beth chirped. I felt the jolt of fright in her embrace as well. He knew that he'd intruded and I could hear his embarrassment in his urgent steps back down the stairs, not to mention his frantic apologies fading into echoes from the end of the hall. I tried to shut off my tears but when Beth hugged me close again they just flowed.

"It's okay," she whispered to me. I didn't deserve her.

"I want to go," I whimpered.

"No, dont go," she pleaded breathily as she tightened her grip. I could tell that she was crying fresh tears too. It made me more ashamed. I was dragging her down with me. Beth consoled me, her hand palming my back. It was all terribly sweet. She was my best friend but although I was very grateful to her, I felt like a fraud. I was the ultimate slut, carrying the child of a father that I didnt even remember fucking, let alone know. Beth was aware of this too. She had heard the whole story. She was the only one who knew it all, except of course for the guy, whoever he was. I wondered if he would ever find out that he had knocked me up.

"Do you know what you wanna do?" Beth asked me softly, caringly.

"An abortion I guess, I dunno," I choked. "What's it like?"

"I dunno," she said. "We can talk to Amber." Amber had had one a few months ago. Most of us knew that. If it hadn't meant revealing my secret, asking her would have been a very welcome idea.

"I just need to go," I whined finally. The shame was hitting me hard as I recalled the look on Mr Z's face the moment before when he spotted the test. He knew. I could see it even in that brief second, that surprise in someone's eyes that erupts when they stumble upon a dark secret. He knew that I was pregnant. I pulled myself away from Beth's arms and reached for my jeans, slipping my legs into them.

"No stay."

"Please, I need to go," I whimpered, wiping the tears from my cheek with the back of my hand. I was not comfortable with her dad around.

"Where are you going?" she asked, concern evident on her voice.

"Home," I said. I supposed that I wasn't perfectly comfortable there either. Hastily, I took the positive test and stuffed it deep into my purse.

"I'll go with you."

My vision was blurred by my mucky eyelashes and I descended the stairs. I stopped to wipe them with my fingers. At the front door I put my jacket on, my fave mauve satin one that fit me well, but my look was the last thing that I cared about. Then I stepped into my running shoes. Beth bounded after me as I opened the door, grabbing her jean jacket and hopping about as she pulled on her boots in a frenzy. I looked back at her for a brief moment as she struggled to catch up with me, reaching for her purse strap and behind her I saw the sunlight through the kitchen window stream into the hall. There was Mr Z leaning over the sink. His eyes caught mine. Convinced that he was judging me, I hung my head in shame and fought back the sobs as I slipped out the front door.

"Jesus Dad," Beth scolded him. "A little privacy!" Then she shut the door and scrambled to take my hand.

~ END ~​