Okay, thought I'd start my own thread. So how about a self help group?
I'll go first see what you all think...
...I think I do have a problem with my self-esteem, but when I try to compensate for that, I do be kind of myself and be happy that my appearance isn't completley unattractive to the opposite sex. It's all me, it's like I'm holding myself back, and I also just do not have that male predatory instinct to go after someone. Well, correction, it's there but it just isn't connected to the any parts of my brain that actually make me act on it
A couple of nights ago, I was in a bar, and I am sure that a young bar maid was interested in me. We kept making eye contact and giving each other lovely smiles. Although even though I did have a few moments of opportunity, I couldn't bring myself to "go for it" as they say, and actually go strike up a conversation with anyone. (Not that I'm implying I thought it would lead to an immediate sexual encounter, but I even seem to hold myself back at making 'first contact').
In all my life, I've only ever "chatted up" a girl in a club once (for which I was successful, we dated for a month, but didn't go any further). There was one time after that I was doing okay, but I don't count that because I was on the rebound and discovered I was actually chatting up a lesbian All that was a few years ago when my confidence peaked.
That's the other thing, it's not as if I'm not confident or good with people. I'm not a teacher, but I did used to work at a university, and I've had to deal visiting school kids (where I gave a class), and I have taken visitors around the campus, and I've stood up given presentations on my projects in front of high-ranking staff. So I'm not typically shy. I Just hold myself back going after women I like.
I'll go first see what you all think...
...I think I do have a problem with my self-esteem, but when I try to compensate for that, I do be kind of myself and be happy that my appearance isn't completley unattractive to the opposite sex. It's all me, it's like I'm holding myself back, and I also just do not have that male predatory instinct to go after someone. Well, correction, it's there but it just isn't connected to the any parts of my brain that actually make me act on it
A couple of nights ago, I was in a bar, and I am sure that a young bar maid was interested in me. We kept making eye contact and giving each other lovely smiles. Although even though I did have a few moments of opportunity, I couldn't bring myself to "go for it" as they say, and actually go strike up a conversation with anyone. (Not that I'm implying I thought it would lead to an immediate sexual encounter, but I even seem to hold myself back at making 'first contact').
In all my life, I've only ever "chatted up" a girl in a club once (for which I was successful, we dated for a month, but didn't go any further). There was one time after that I was doing okay, but I don't count that because I was on the rebound and discovered I was actually chatting up a lesbian All that was a few years ago when my confidence peaked.
That's the other thing, it's not as if I'm not confident or good with people. I'm not a teacher, but I did used to work at a university, and I've had to deal visiting school kids (where I gave a class), and I have taken visitors around the campus, and I've stood up given presentations on my projects in front of high-ranking staff. So I'm not typically shy. I Just hold myself back going after women I like.
