Drawing the reader in...

[ComelyWench]

I find that a lot of stories written in 3rd person leave me feeling like a bystander, watching the action. It is my goal in my writing to draw the reader into the story... to let them feel like they are there, almost part of the action.

I write in first person... and generally the "partner" in my stories are simply referred to as "you". It can sometimes be very awkward reading stories where the only characters are "I" and "you", but I think I do a pretty good job of pulling off this style. And because my stories are generally written with a particular person in mind, this style feels like a good fit.

However, I would like to be able to write in 3rd person, and I can't seem to get that style of writing to have the same draw as first person. The stories feel more dead... like the difference between hearing a narration after the fact rather than seeing an event.

So my questions would be:

1) How do you feel I do at 1st person writing? Does it feel comfortable and draw you in, or does it feel awkward?

2) How do others successfully use 3rd person style of writing and draw the reader into the story? Does present tense work better than past tense? Any other tips you could offer?

Thanks!

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=124823

 

[Whispersecret]

This forum is for feedback on stories, whether giving or asking for. So the question about how YOU do with your stories fits perfectly here.

However, the general questions about pov and tense are probably better asked in the Author's Hangout. That's were most of the discussion occurs revolving around technique. You might get more answers there.

Welcome to the board.

 

[OT]

I thought your story being in present tense was more awkward than the fact that it was in first person. I don't mind having to mentally transpose the "me's" and "you's", but present tense always feels weird to me.

I'm not the most experienced writer around, but a trick I have used is to write in first person, then edit to third person.

Here is a single sample if you'd like to look: Postponed Pleasure

Even if you choose third person, you can still tell the story from a single character's perspective.

 

[the_bragis]

Hello ComelyWench,

M-m... this is an interesting one, written in first but with a second person feel about it.

"You stroke your cock."

I have to be honest and say, no matter how well its done, I find the second person point of view always awkward to read.

I really enjoy first person stories, and when they are told in past tense they certainly can feel very intimate. You know, like a friend telling me all about a great night of hot sex over a coffee and biscuits.

Your story is good, but unfortunately many readers don't particularly enjoy present tense, or second person stories, and will immediately back click when they think they have found either or both.

I wish you well with your future writing.

Have a good day,

Alex

 

[PaulX35]

Drawing in

Your Wenchness,

Drawing your reader in and enchant him/her with your erotica is of course the aim of every writer/tress. Using the style you propose is a high risk one I think. It will work splendidly for those who are able to closely identify with the "you" you address so directly. But at the same time you will see many others loose interest, simply because this style and tense of writing allows unusually little degrees of freedom to the reader's imagination.

I once wrote a few stories this way to a then girlfriend/lover of mine, and that worked great, because I knew how to address and thrill the "you". But I was also aware they would probably not do anything to any other reader.

Hope this helps