Garnate
Died Tragically
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2008
- Posts
- 21,473
How to start this.....
I have this "friend". This "friend" is an idiot. This "friend" was laughed off of the GB a few years ago. This "friend" either will or won't see this thread about her. Time will tell.
This "friend" recently posted something that has me banging my head against the wall figuratively and almost literally. As someone who has actually been raped and abused, I find her mock horror and victimization very offensive. Offensive enough to bring it to you to judge. Half of you know her, a few of that half will be able to figure out who I'm talking about, but let's forget that for a moment and concentrate on the fact that a person like her actually exists. This is what she said:
She states that she hasn't talked about this for a few days because she's been trying to process it and she thinks she's finally at a point emotionally where she can talk about it.
She has been attempting to meet friends through OK Cupid to hang out with. She really craves personal interaction with people face-to-face because she's extroverted. She made it clear on her profile that she's happily married and that this isn't about sex. She's monogamous and her and her husband are a package deal. So she and her hubby meet up with a guy and have a great time. Fun was had by all! Doing non-sex things, of course. They all got high and drunk and her hubby fell asleep on the bed that they're all sitting on to watch tv.
So hubby is passed out and she's sitting on the bed between him and the new guy she just met on OK Cupid. Every few minutes or so, new guy tries to scoot a little closer to her. Every now and then he would brush against her thigh or *gasp!* her ass. Did she tell him to stop? Did she remind him that she only wants a platonic friendship with him? Of course not. She simply scoots closer to her husband. Never once telling the guy that she doesn't appreciate his advances. Suddenly! She's so uncomfortable with this stranger she met online making slight moves on her that she wakes up the husband and they leave.
She says she cried all the way home.
I feel it's unnecessary to point out that she's looking for platonic male friends on OK Cupid but I will anyway. SHE'S LOOKING FOR PLATONIC MALE FRIENDS ON OK CUPID. There, that's better.
Worse than her outrage over this strangers actions, which happened on his bed, in his bedroom, while her husband is passed out from weed and alcohol, is her reaction to maybe the only sane ACTUAL friend she has.
Friend: Sorry you went through this experience. *Hugs* You're not responsible for someone else's actions, but I suggest that if you're meeting new people, and don't know if you can trust someone, abstain from any substance that can affect your reaction time or make you vulnerable. This guy is a real creep and has no respect for women. Thankfully, not all guys are like this. It is never ok for anyone to touch you without your consent. I understand you didn't want to make a scene, but if you're ever alone with someone like this or if your hubby is asleep, especially if you're certain this behavior is intentional, outright tell the guy to stop touching you and that they're making you uncomfortable.
Her reaction: I'm sorry, but what you're saying smacks of victim blaming and I'm not comfortable at all with your advice. Please don't do this right now, when I am so emotionally vulnerable from this situation. This is REALLY insensitive.
Friend: It's not victim blaming, it's just how to handle people like this. Better safe than sorry.
Her reaction: STOP. You're upsetting me.
Friend: Sorry, that wasn't my intention at all.
I made it clear that you aren't responsible for anyone's actions.
Her reaction: And you made it clear it was my responsibility to be sober enough to control the situation and to confront the person even if I was concerned he could become violent.
Friend: I meant well. I was just giving you support. I'll stop commenting.
Her reaction: You weren't there! You didn't experience it! You have no right to tell me what I should or should not have done!
And so on and so on.
At least she can confront an actual friend about how their actions are making her feel. Just not a stranger while her husband is right next to her.
If you read all of that, congrats! If it was too long for your poor brain, sorry not sorry.
What advice would you give my "friend"? I don't have much advice for her but I'd like to smack her across the face with my laptop. If that's insensitive of me, you don't know me very well.
Another friend said he has never seen anyone want to be a victim more than this woman. Why is she like this? She definitely wins the "Drama Queen of the Year" award. Come claim your prize, cunt.
I have this "friend". This "friend" is an idiot. This "friend" was laughed off of the GB a few years ago. This "friend" either will or won't see this thread about her. Time will tell.
This "friend" recently posted something that has me banging my head against the wall figuratively and almost literally. As someone who has actually been raped and abused, I find her mock horror and victimization very offensive. Offensive enough to bring it to you to judge. Half of you know her, a few of that half will be able to figure out who I'm talking about, but let's forget that for a moment and concentrate on the fact that a person like her actually exists. This is what she said:
She states that she hasn't talked about this for a few days because she's been trying to process it and she thinks she's finally at a point emotionally where she can talk about it.
She has been attempting to meet friends through OK Cupid to hang out with. She really craves personal interaction with people face-to-face because she's extroverted. She made it clear on her profile that she's happily married and that this isn't about sex. She's monogamous and her and her husband are a package deal. So she and her hubby meet up with a guy and have a great time. Fun was had by all! Doing non-sex things, of course. They all got high and drunk and her hubby fell asleep on the bed that they're all sitting on to watch tv.
So hubby is passed out and she's sitting on the bed between him and the new guy she just met on OK Cupid. Every few minutes or so, new guy tries to scoot a little closer to her. Every now and then he would brush against her thigh or *gasp!* her ass. Did she tell him to stop? Did she remind him that she only wants a platonic friendship with him? Of course not. She simply scoots closer to her husband. Never once telling the guy that she doesn't appreciate his advances. Suddenly! She's so uncomfortable with this stranger she met online making slight moves on her that she wakes up the husband and they leave.
She says she cried all the way home.
I feel it's unnecessary to point out that she's looking for platonic male friends on OK Cupid but I will anyway. SHE'S LOOKING FOR PLATONIC MALE FRIENDS ON OK CUPID. There, that's better.
Worse than her outrage over this strangers actions, which happened on his bed, in his bedroom, while her husband is passed out from weed and alcohol, is her reaction to maybe the only sane ACTUAL friend she has.
Friend: Sorry you went through this experience. *Hugs* You're not responsible for someone else's actions, but I suggest that if you're meeting new people, and don't know if you can trust someone, abstain from any substance that can affect your reaction time or make you vulnerable. This guy is a real creep and has no respect for women. Thankfully, not all guys are like this. It is never ok for anyone to touch you without your consent. I understand you didn't want to make a scene, but if you're ever alone with someone like this or if your hubby is asleep, especially if you're certain this behavior is intentional, outright tell the guy to stop touching you and that they're making you uncomfortable.
Her reaction: I'm sorry, but what you're saying smacks of victim blaming and I'm not comfortable at all with your advice. Please don't do this right now, when I am so emotionally vulnerable from this situation. This is REALLY insensitive.
Friend: It's not victim blaming, it's just how to handle people like this. Better safe than sorry.
Her reaction: STOP. You're upsetting me.
Friend: Sorry, that wasn't my intention at all.
I made it clear that you aren't responsible for anyone's actions.Her reaction: And you made it clear it was my responsibility to be sober enough to control the situation and to confront the person even if I was concerned he could become violent.
Friend: I meant well. I was just giving you support. I'll stop commenting.
Her reaction: You weren't there! You didn't experience it! You have no right to tell me what I should or should not have done!
And so on and so on.
At least she can confront an actual friend about how their actions are making her feel. Just not a stranger while her husband is right next to her.
If you read all of that, congrats! If it was too long for your poor brain, sorry not sorry.
What advice would you give my "friend"? I don't have much advice for her but I'd like to smack her across the face with my laptop. If that's insensitive of me, you don't know me very well.
Another friend said he has never seen anyone want to be a victim more than this woman. Why is she like this? She definitely wins the "Drama Queen of the Year" award. Come claim your prize, cunt.
