Draconus’ Den

[missswannie]

I realize I’ve been kind of quiet lately. The reason for that is I’ve been kind of going through it. Since December, five people I know have died, culminating in my father’s death on April 23rd.

This has brought up a lot of complicated emotions for me. I was not close at all with my father. In fact, I know I was a disappointment to him. He was dead set on me enlisting in the Marine Corps since he, himself, was a Marine. It felt like he tried to relive his life through me.

I should also note that, for probably forty of the almost forty-six years I’ve been on this planet, he had substance abuse issues. The only time in my memory that he was sober was from 1999 till 2004 or 2005. He was a heavy alcoholic, but he did the work and got sober. And he became a substance abuse counselor. Then he gave up his sobriety and went to hard drugs. That was ultimately what killed him.

My sister and I have spent the last two weeks getting his affairs in order, cleaning up his messes, and making sure our mother doesn’t lose the house. All the while I’ve been struggling with the fact that I’m not feeling this loss at all, and that I don’t miss him.

How fucked up is that? What kind of person doesn’t miss his father after he passes?

I’m about to head off to work and try to be a functioning member of society. Some days it’s harder than others.

Thats a hard one mate. Sometimes people who have only known one path in life double down and try to keep the train on those tracks. The longer they get on the harder it is to learn new ways and new things, society is not so forgiving on the starting afresh as we age. Some people don't handle it well and the compounding leads to disaster. I sometimes think the heavy structure of military life can be a double edged sword when it all changes.
I can't tell you to love him or grieve him. Maybe the flip side is in completing the unfinished business, keeping the house, getting mums life moving, finalising things and ruling a line. Maybe its getting the job done and take satisfaction at that full circle. There is an emotion there to grasp on to.

 

[draconus_infernus]

Thats a hard one mate. Sometimes people who have only known one path in life double down and try to keep the train on those tracks. The longer they get on the harder it is to learn new ways and new things, society is not so forgiving on the starting afresh as we age. Some people don't handle it well and the compounding leads to disaster. I sometimes think the heavy structure of military life can be a double edged sword when it all changes.
I can't tell you to love him or grieve him. Maybe the flip side is in completing the unfinished business, keeping the house, getting mums life moving, finalising things and ruling a line. Maybe its getting the job done and take satisfaction at that full circle. There is an emotion there to grasp on to.

You, my friend, are wise. I think that’s the best advice I’ve gotten so far.

 

[draconus_infernus]

I’m going to try to get back into the habit of regular posting. To that end, here’s the return of Just the Tip Tuesday.

 

[draconus_infernus]

Sorry about being in lurk mode lately. I’m still processing stuff. Monday would have been my dad’s 76th birthday. It was harder on my sister than it was on me. I’m still figuring out how I feel about everything. Sunday could be rough. Father’s Day was never something I celebrated since my dad was never really there for me, so we’ll see how it is now that he is really gone.

A bit of TMI here, I got snipped at the beginning of the month. I’m healing up nicely, but that means no full frontal pics till I’m a bit more comfortable.

Next month, we’re taking a risk and going to a convention. I’m going to order some heavy duty masks, just to be safe. We need to go have some fun, though. Hopefully it will be worth the risk, and we won’t get COVID-19 a third time.

 

[missswannie]

Snipped is good. From an XX genome perspective anyway; no hormonal birth control meant my natural libido could shine! No accidents. Best thing we ever did. Any time, any way, any where.
Masks are always good if you can't socially distance. Even surgical ones are fine if you change them within the static charge period. Plus it keeps Influenza A at bay.
As for everything else, it is now up to you how you define it all, the days of it being defined for you have passed. You and yours are in the driving seat.

Looking forward to seeing the road test in future posts.

 

[draconus_infernus]

Snipped is good. From an XX genome perspective anyway; no hormonal birth control meant my natural libido could shine! No accidents. Best thing we ever did. Any time, any way, any where.
Masks are always good if you can't socially distance. Even surgical ones are fine if you change them within the static charge period. Plus it keeps Influenza A at bay.
As for everything else, it is now up to you how you define it all, the days of it being defined for you have passed. You and yours are in the driving seat.

Looking forward to seeing the road test in future posts.

I had actually tried to get snipped about ten years ago, but the surgeon refused to do it until he spoke to my spouse to make sure I had permission. Turns out, it’s not legal to do that. We think he was trying to get us to try some fertility treatments.

We did try to have kids, but we couldn’t conceive, and after some tests, we were told that we couldn’t conceive. When I mentioned that, his eyes lit up, and he mentioned fertility treatments.

I told him that, at that point, we didn’t want kids and we didn’t want to take any chances. What I didn’t tell him was that we were non-monogamous, and I didn’t want to knock up one of my other partners. Condoms do fail, and those are still my go-to method of contraception.

It became a moot point anyway. I lost my job and my insurance not too long after that, so I remained intact.
I should also note that, we’re both in our mid-forties, we’re helping take care of my elderly mother, and if ever there was a time when we would beat the odds and conceive, it would be now. I’m taking that possibility off the table.

I have to drop off a sample in August to make sure nothing has grown back, and that my sperm count is, indeed, zero.

End of update. Have some pics. I’m healing up nicely. If they are desired, full frontal photos will be back soon.

 

[PassionsFlame]

How nice to stumble upon your thread, Draconus. Very nice shots I'm glad you are healing well.

Those last are also gorgeous photos. Loving the back dimples!!!

I am sure more full frontal shots would be welcomed around here with open arms... Or something else

 

[draconus_infernus]

How nice to stumble upon your thread, Draconus. Very nice shots I'm glad you are healing well.

Those last are also gorgeous photos. Loving the back dimples!!!

I am sure more full frontal shots would be welcomed around here with open arms... Or something else

Welcome!

I get a lot of compliments on those dimples. I’ll have to remember to showcase them some more.

 

[missswannie]

I had actually tried to get snipped about ten years ago, but the surgeon refused to do it until he spoke to my spouse to make sure I had permission. Turns out, it’s not legal to do that. We think he was trying to get us to try some fertility treatments.

We did try to have kids, but we couldn’t conceive, and after some tests, we were told that we couldn’t conceive. When I mentioned that, his eyes lit up, and he mentioned fertility treatments.

I told him that, at that point, we didn’t want kids and we didn’t want to take any chances. What I didn’t tell him was that we were non-monogamous, and I didn’t want to knock up one of my other partners. Condoms do fail, and those are still my go-to method of contraception.

It became a moot point anyway. I lost my job and my insurance not too long after that, so I remained intact.
I should also note that, we’re both in our mid-forties, we’re helping take care of my elderly mother, and if ever there was a time when we would beat the odds and conceive, it would be now. I’m taking that possibility off the table.

I have to drop off a sample in August to make sure nothing has grown back, and that my sperm count is, indeed, zero.

End of update. Have some pics. I’m healing up nicely. If they are desired, full frontal photos will be back soon.

Good move. The taste between swimmers and non-swimmers should tell when. Just saying. Actually it was volume, but at about the same stage someone told about the L-Arginine body hack and that became more than before, so thats the gift that keeps on giving.

Full frontal is always welcome. Remember that it has to be a within one hour fresh sample in August. We should all probably be along for the ride and give encouragement. Imagine being the nurse at the pathology test place and thinking cold sample, cold sample, warm sample. I reckon you would get some eye contact.

 

[draconus_infernus]

Good move. The taste between swimmers and non-swimmers should tell when. Just saying. Actually it was volume, but at about the same stage someone told about the L-Arginine body hack and that became more than before, so thats the gift that keeps on giving.

Full frontal is always welcome. Remember that it has to be a within one hour fresh sample in August. We should all probably be along for the ride and give encouragement. Imagine being the nurse at the pathology test place and thinking cold sample, cold sample, warm sample. I reckon you would get some eye contact.

The problem for me is going to be the fact that I live an hour away from where the lab is. I’m going to have to find some friends who live in the area who would be okay with me rubbing out a quick one before going to the lab.

 

[draconus_infernus]

Okay, here’s my first post-surgery full frontal pic.

 

[missswannie]

The problem for me is going to be the fact that I live an hour away from where the lab is. I’m going to have to find some friends who live in the area who would be okay with me rubbing out a quick one before going to the lab.

Well, its a conversation... Going to pop in for a coffee and if you don't mind have a quick wank before I go.

 

[missswannie]

Okay, here’s my first post-surgery full frontal pic.

Lovely. All ready to go.

 

[draconus_infernus]

Well, its a conversation... Going to pop in for a coffee and if you don't mind have a quick wank before I go.

Fortunately for me, most of my friends are really sex positive, and I’ve been really open about getting snipped. I don’t think it’ll be a problem.

Lovely. All ready to go.

It’s been pretty warm here, so being clothed hasn’t been all that comfortable. And you can’t see the scars in that pic, either, not that they’re super visible. The test will be this weekend when I see one of my partners and she gives me an up close inspection.

 

[draconus_infernus]

Last pic for a little while. We’re heading out for our first con in three years on Friday, and I am really looking forward to it. I’m not taking any chances, though. I’m packing KN95s, as well as cloth masks. Yes, I double up whenever I go out. We’re not out of the woods yet. The number of people testing positive at my job is proof enough of that.

 

[draconus_infernus]

Convention weekend, the first one since before the pandemic! Since we’re staying at the event hotel, here’s the obligatory hotel bed pic.

So, I’ve been struggling a bit with body image lately. In the last few months, I’ve put on weight. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life, and I’m struggling a bit with it. I should note that, when I started this thread, an asshole troll body shamed me.

To that end, I’ve been sucking in my gut when I take full body pics, making it look like I don’t have a belly. I’m not doing that in the this picture. The pose makes it hard to tell, I know, but it’s there.

So why am I sharing this now? I had two people yesterday tell me the extra weight looks good on me, and that ego boost helped.

I get it. I’m middle age. I’m going to be forty-six in a few weeks, and my metabolism is slowing down. I was the skinny guy my hole life, so being a little bigger is messing with my head.

Thanks for letting me indulge a bit here. I’ll have some other pics coming later.

 

[PassionsFlame]

I'm really sorry you had the troll experience. As a larger lady, I have had body issue concerns, but not the negative experience of a nasty troll (knock on wood). On my thread, as you've seen, I am selective what I show but I know my size is apparent in some photos nevertheless. Sadly, we run the risk of some idiot being mean and some words can hurt.. they are a holes.

I don't want to invalidate your feelings. It has to be hard having been one way all your life and then things change. I am turning 50 soon and the body changes and it's harder to maintain the same body type as when we were younger. And there are conditions that lead to some extra weight.

But something I've seen especially here, is life comes in all shapes and sizes. Beauty is not one cookie cutter example, but real variety and real people. And there's more than our physique that makes one sexy.

I personally find your soft belly attractive and would like to rub it and kiss it before meandering elsewhere... I hope you feel comfortable showing yourself, the total package is attractive.

Looking forward to more pics, of course.

Have an amazing time at the con and stay safe. Would love to hear about it!

 

[Anastasia1999]

Convention weekend, the first one since before the pandemic! Since we’re staying at the event hotel, here’s the obligatory hotel bed pic.

So, I’ve been struggling a bit with body image lately. In the last few months, I’ve put on weight. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life, and I’m struggling a bit with it. I should note that, when I started this thread, an asshole troll body shamed me.

To that end, I’ve been sucking in my gut when I take full body pics, making it look like I don’t have a belly. I’m not doing that in the this picture. The pose makes it hard to tell, I know, but it’s there.

So why am I sharing this now? I had two people yesterday tell me the extra weight looks good on me, and that ego boost helped.

I get it. I’m middle age. I’m going to be forty-six in a few weeks, and my metabolism is slowing down. I was the skinny guy my hole life, so being a little bigger is messing with my head.

Thanks for letting me indulge a bit here. I’ll have some other pics coming later.

I Think you look wonderful! I for one prefer a man with a bit of meat on him

Have a great weekend

 

[missswannie]

Convention weekend, the first one since before the pandemic! Since we’re staying at the event hotel, here’s the obligatory hotel bed pic.

So, I’ve been struggling a bit with body image lately. In the last few months, I’ve put on weight. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life, and I’m struggling a bit with it. I should note that, when I started this thread, an asshole troll body shamed me.

To that end, I’ve been sucking in my gut when I take full body pics, making it look like I don’t have a belly. I’m not doing that in the this picture. The pose makes it hard to tell, I know, but it’s there.

So why am I sharing this now? I had two people yesterday tell me the extra weight looks good on me, and that ego boost helped.

I get it. I’m middle age. I’m going to be forty-six in a few weeks, and my metabolism is slowing down. I was the skinny guy my hole life, so being a little bigger is messing with my head.

Thanks for letting me indulge a bit here. I’ll have some other pics coming later.

Mate. You are on the right track. It all works as it is supposed to work. Part of the appeal of here is real people putting themselves out there as is, and people grooving with that.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

You are as sexy as ever, Drac.

 

[draconus_infernus]

A quick post. Last night was the burlesque show, and yours truly was the host. It’s actually rare for a straight, cisgender man who has never been a performer himself to host, and I’m sure the reason is pretty obvious. Most burlesque dancers are women, and there are guys who would just ogle the half naked performers backstage. Also, there can be an over abundance of dick jokes.

I’ve been stage crew, so I’m a known commodity, I don’t ogle - unless invited to. - and there were no dick jokes. In fact there were no sex jokes at all. A lot of self deprecation, but no dick or sex jokes.

It was nice to know that, after three years, I could still be entertaining, and that I still remembered how to tie a bow tie.

 

[draconus_infernus]

And here are the last hotel bed pics of the con. We’ll be packing up soon, getting ready to head home. I’m looking forward to sleeping in my own bed again.

 

[missswannie]

Smooth... a bloke in a suit is always a good look. Bow tie tying is a skill. Actually tie tying is a dying skill too, most blokes wear suits without ties now.

Hotel beds are useful for messing. Or having crisp sheets.

 

[draconus_infernus]

Smooth... a bloke in a suit is always a good look. Bow tie tying is a skill. Actually tie tying is a dying skill too, most blokes wear suits without ties now.

Hotel beds are useful for messing. Or having crisp sheets.

My father never taught me how to tie a necktie, so I kind of had to teach myself. Actually, there’s a lot he never taught me that fathers are supposed to teach their sons. I don’t wear a necktie often. The last time I wore one was when I was a pall bearer at a funeral.

As for bow ties, I blame Matt Smith as the Eleventh Doctor in Doctor Who for me wanting to learn to tie one. I usually break out the suits and bow ties when we go to play parties. I have partners who love stripping me out of those.

I did get some action in the hotel bed. One of my partners was there for the same convention, and as luck would have it, her room was connected to ours. She helped me get closer to the goal of thirty ejaculations to make sure I don’t have anymore swimmers. She’s been wanting me to fuck her bareback - we both get regular STD screenings, so we know we’re both safe - but I want to get the test results telling me I’m sterile first.

 

[draconus_infernus]

So, it’s been a while since I posted a Just the Tip Tuesday pic, so here you go. Also, a belated shower pic from the weekend.

I’m home now, and very glad I took today off to recover from the weekend. It doesn’t help that I got hit with a nasty migraine yesterday. I’m glad I gave myself the extra time.

I got to sleep in my own bed last night, so here’s a home bed pic, as well.