Don't post here unless your name is chilled vodka

[ChilledVodkaIV]

Where did all these new people come from?

"Take it. Take it all, bitch."

"Where?"

"54 Garmin Street, next to the bookies."

"I don't know if I can take it all."

"You'll take it bitch, and you'll like it."

"Why? What is it?"

"It's a boxed set of Lord of the Rings."

"I'm not going to be able to stand it for that long."

"You'll stand it all right slut, and you'll swallow as well."

"I don't swallow and you can't make me."

"Oh you'll swallow alright, you'll swallow like a thirsty giraffe."

(tearfully) "I can't do animals, that's disgusting."

"You'll do what I tell you to do, whore."

"I'm telling you I can't do a giraffe. They don't have vocal chords."

"Well I'm gonna make you squeal like a stuck pig."

"I'd rather squeal like a seal." (makes seal noise)

"Oh yeah baby. You like that don't you?"

"I'd like it better in my secret place."

(wets finger) "You mean this secret place?"

"No. My secret place at the seaside."

(holds up photograph) "This secret place?"

"Oh yeah. Yes baby. Glossy. Focused. 8 by 10"

VIV C

 

[rgraham666]

Make me.

 

[carsonshepherd]

There are so many of you, how will you know which of us are really you and which of us are really us?

 

[minsue]

There are so many of you, how will you know which of us are really you and which of us are really us?

Damn. Now my head hurts.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

... how will you know which of us are really you and which of us are really us?

It would be like effing the effing ineffable!

 

[BlackShanglan]

OK - I'll be sure not to

 

[bg23]

Is there a Chilled Vodka X yet?

 

[carsonshepherd]

Is there a Chilled Vodka X yet?

how about CVXXX?

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

how about CVXXX?

No! No!

That would imply a CVXXIX, CVXXVIII, CVXXVII, CVXXVI, et cetera.

 

[carsonshepherd]

No! No!

That would imply a CVXXIX, CVXXVIII, CVXXVII, CVXXVI, et cetera.

What is that in Roman numerals, like 1 million? I'm too drunk to remember.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

What is that in Roman numerals, like 1 million? I'm too drunk to remember.

I = 1
V = 5
X = 10
L = 50
C = 100
D = 500
M = 1000

< hic!> CVXXX = 135 by a VERY drunk Roman. </hic!>

 

[carsonshepherd]

I = 1
V = 5
X = 10
L = 50
C = 100
D = 500
M = 1000

< hic!> CVXXX = 135 by a VERY drunk Roman. </hic!>

You're so smart. (hic)

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I = 1
V = 5
X = 10
L = 50
C = 100
D = 500
M = 1000

< hic!> CVXXX = 135 by a VERY drunk Roman. </hic!>

EDIT: Or, a dyslectic one.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

EDIT: Or, a dyslectic one.

NOT AN EDIT!

FUDGE!

 

[carsonshepherd]

NOT AN EDIT!

FUDGE!

Ah, screw it. I just realized if I click on your member page, I can look at a really big version of your AV and just stare at it for a really long time.

 

[bg23]

Drunk people are so fun.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Drunk people are so fun.

Yah, I'm in that stage be tween "horny drunk" and "weepy drunk" right now. I call it "witty drunk who's hungry but there's nothing to eat in this fucking house because nobody went to the store this week."

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

... I can ... stare at it for a really long time.

Oh my God! I've become a ZONK!

 

[carsonshepherd]

Oh my God! I've become a ZONK!

I'm mesmerized by people taking their clothes off. It's not you babe, it's me.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Um, my name's not Chilled Vodka, can I post here?

 

[Edward Teach]

Hmmmmm.....

CV is the Roman Numeral for .........


FIFTY FIVE.


How about it guys? F5, CV.


Huh? Huh? Huh?

wait, that's a hundred and five



Eddie The Decoder

 

[OhMissScarlett]

That's an angle I never thought of before. CV is everywhere, just like Elvis. He's in Joan Rivers, but he's trying to get out.

 

[Edward Teach]

That's an angle I never thought of before. CV is everywhere, just like Elvis. He's in Joan Rivers, but he's trying to get out.

This has gotta be a mistake. If you are a Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper fan, I am in love.

Elvis is Everywhere"
by Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper


When I look out into your eyes out there,
When I look out into your faces,
You know what I see?
I see a little bit of Elvis
In each and every one of you out there.
Let me tell you.

Wellllllll...
Elvis is everywhere,
Elvis is everything,
Elvis is everybody,
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me
Elvis is everywhere, man!
He's in everything.
He's in everybody.
Elvis is in your jeans.
He's in your cheesburgers.
Elvis is in Nutty Buddies!
Elvis is in your mom!
He's in everybody.
He's in the young, the old,
the fat, the skinny,
the white, the black
the brown and the blue
people got Elvis in them too.
Elvis is in everybody out there.
Everybody's got Elvis in them.
Everybody except one person that is,
Yeah, one person!
The evil opposite of Elvis,
The Anti-Elvis!
Anti-Elvis got no Elvis in him,
lemme tell ya.
Michael J. Fox has no Elvis in him.
And Elvis is in Joan Rivers
but he's trying to get out, man! He's trying to get out!
Listen up Joanie Baby!
Elvis is everywhere,
Elvis is everything,
Elvis is everybody,
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man
What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me
Man, there's a lot of unexplained phenomenon
out there in the world.
Lot of things people say
What the heck's going on?
Let me tell you!
Who built the pyramids?
ELVIS!
Who built Stonehenge?
ELVIS!
Yeah, man you see guys walking down the street
pushing shopping carts,
and you think they're talking to Allah,
they're talking to themselves.
Man, no they're talking to ELVIS!
ELVIS! ELVIS!
You know whats going on in that Bermuda Triangle?
Down in the Bermuda Triangle?
Elvis eats boats.
Elvis eats boats.
Elvis Elvis Elvis
Elvis Elvis Elvis
Elvis eats boats.
Aahh! The Sailing Elvis!
Captain Elvis!
Commodore Elvis it is!
Yeah man, you know people from outer space,
people from outer space they come up to me.
They don't look like like Doctor Spock.
They don't look like Klingons,
all that Star Trek jive.
They look like Elvis.
ELVIS!
Everybody in outer space looks like Elvis.
Cause Elvis is a perfect being.
We are all moving in perfect peace and harmony towards Elvisness
Soon all will become Elvis.
Everything everywhere will be Elvis.
Why do you think they call it evolution anyway?
It's really Elvislution!
Elvislution!
Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man What I want you to see
Is that the big E's Inside of you and me.
That's right ladies and gentlemen,
The time has come!
Time has come to talk
To that little bit of Elvis inside of you.
Talk to it!
Call it up!
Say "Elvis, heal me!"
"Save me, Elvis!"
"Make me be born again in the perfect Elvis light."
That's right!
You've got that Elvis inside of you
and he's talkin to you.
He says he wants you to sing!
Everybody's got to sing like the king!
Like the king
Get that leg going now
Get your lip too.
Not no fool Billy Idol lip either.
Everybody!
Yeah, we're rockin' now!
Elvis is with us.
He's with us and he's speaking to us.
He says "Peoples!"
"Peoples!"
"Everybody!"
"Everybody got to sing!"
Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me.
Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me.
Elvis!


Ed

PS - If CV won't let you post here, I have a place.

edited to correct a couple of lyrics

 

[English Lady]

You know...its terrible how all you folks completely ignore CV's request not to post here! tut tut!



oops....just did it myself sorry CV

 

[carsonshepherd]

Um, my name's not Chilled Vodka, can I post here?

That av is so hot. Is that you?