domme responsible?

[garylee]

i have been told....read somewhere.....some b.s.-----about how dommes have responsibilities?

for WHAT?
i have been taking care of myself since i was 14 running the streets all my life.
got my own vehicle/my own money/do my own laundry/meals......whatever ya wanna bring up i do myself...

now EXACTLY......please.........WHAT is it a domme is supposed to BE responsible FOR?

i figure ''i'' am zero maintenance.......i do not see anything a domme can do for me that i aint doing for myself.......
ya know?

thanks
garylee

 

[Netzach]

I feel responsible for the things I do in the name of play and ownership and the impact they have, the effect they have, to a certain degree. I feel responsible for securing consent, and frankly I believe in the idea of karma, and that putting someone back in worse shape than I found him and not giving a shit, is just simply not *right.* I believe that being a Domme and being served does not absolve you from the moral question of right and wrong. I feel responsible to pay heed to the needs of my slave, as he strives to fulfill my every want. I feel responsible for making sure a slave has the tools to do the job I ask him.

 

[blue kat]

taking a risk that you're not a troll, just being obtuse


It depends on the Dom/me. Some of them are into micromanagement and they will want to "do all that." Manage your money, your time, your wheels, whatever. I personally don't get off on that. I'm not a mommy Domme.

Other than that, my responsibilities to my sub are as follows.

To be there for her when she needs me to be. To know when tough love is appropriate. In a more gritty, scene sense, my responsibility is to keep her as safe as possible in getting our collective rocks off in somewhat dangerous ways. This includes safe scene planning, safe hygienic equipment, and knowing where our collective limits lie, and what to do in the case of an emergency. (Yes, I am red cross certified with both advanced first aid and CPR.) My biggest responsibility is to pull her back in after dangling her over a metaphorical cliff, or put her back together after shredding her.

Now then, if you're really astute, you've noticed that with the exception of the scene comments; these are the same sort of responsibilities that most of us shoulder in a 'nilla relationship. BS, you call it? Coincidence maybe? I call it behaving like a grown-up. If you don't see a person taking this stuff into consideration, I suggest that you walk on past. Or leave a note with the keys the to safe deposit box and location of your will when you go play, just to make life easier on your ante-decedents.

 

[Mr Blonde]

Edit: Goofy thread

 

[garylee]

responsible

all areas where you give her power over you in the context of a consensual relationship.
=
that is the point isn't it?/

since i do not play...do not sex..and am not a love person....
the only thing involved in MY eyes?......
is that ALL i do....is domestic services..........thats it!
so power over me?.......very very little.......per se.
a few odd small ditties around the house for asking bathroom use or some such thingy.......not like there is ANY ........BIG thing going on......ya know?

hey......so i look at things as just mere existence and i use logic when the rest of you folks are getting emotional......
me?.......naw......i keep ALL emotion out of it.

k........thanks folks.
'preciate your input.
garylee

 

[graceanne]

so if you don't play, and don't have sex . . . what do you do? Do you have a domme? It sounds to me more like you won't allow your domme to have any responsibility, rather than her not having any. The more you do for your dom/me the more reponsibilities they will have. If all you are doing is housework, you're right, your domme doesn't really have any more responbililities than to boss you around.

 

[garylee]

responsible

If all you are doing is housework, you're right, your domme doesn't really have any more responbililities than to boss you around.
--------------------
thank you.........you just verified what i asked.....
i am..........just.........domestic service--------nothing else.
i have been scratching my head.......because i have been wondering what i missed in my logic.
now you just told me i didnt miss anything.

thank you.........

garylee

 

[Mr Blonde]

Edit: Goofy thread!

 

[MissTaken]

so if you don't play, and don't have sex . . . what do you do? Do you have a domme? It sounds to me more like you won't allow your domme to have any responsibility, rather than her not having any. The more you do for your dom/me the more reponsibilities they will have. If all you are doing is housework, you're right, your domme doesn't really have any more responbililities than to boss you around.

There are a large number of subs who are interested in ONLY being Domestic subs. It may or may not involve sex or S and M. AND, to make things better, there ARE Dominants out there who want only to be served in a domestic capacity.

IT feeds a need.

MESSAGE TO THE FORUM: Not understanding someone's need is no excuse to invalidate it, imho.

Sounds like garylee has the equation right for him.

 

[Netzach]

If I have a domestic servant, I feel a responsibility to have safe working conditions and the proper tools at his disposal for the job. I don't set people up to fail, when they are service oriented, I want them to succeed and I do praise periodically.

 

[graceanne]

There are a large number of subs who are interested in ONLY being Domestic subs. It may or may not involve sex or S and M. AND, to make things better, there ARE Dominants out there who want only to be served in a domestic capacity.

IT feeds a need.

MESSAGE TO THE FORUM: Not understanding someone's need is no excuse to invalidate it, imho.

Sounds like garylee has the equation right for him.

I wasn't meaning to invalidate him. I was thinking as I typed, which was why later on I pointed out that he has what he wants. He doesn't want her to be in control of anything else, so this works for him. Doesn't mean that dom/mes don't have any responsibilities. And as Netz pointed out, they still have a few. Just not as many as when it's sexual. Frankly, I agree. It sounds like the perfect situation for garylee.

 

[MissTaken]

I wasn't meaning to invalidate him. I was thinking as I typed, which was why later on I pointed out that he has what he wants. He doesn't want her to be in control of anything else, so this works for him. Doesn't mean that dom/mes don't have any responsibilities. And as Netz pointed out, they still have a few. Just not as many as when it's sexual. Frankly, I agree. It sounds like the perfect situation for garylee.

 

[Aeroil]

err, garylee, in the strapon topic you're talking about your domme letting you buy a dildo that will fit in her harness next month, it kind of contradicts this "only domestic service" statement of yours..........

omg..........................

giggles

i am told by Ma'am that next month i can go out and buy myself a new dildo.....that will fit into Her harness.

oh yummmmmmmm.

garylee

....just wondering, no offence but it sounds like you're making something up, or maybe have more than one person on the account

 

[sunfox]

err, garylee, in the strapon topic you're talking about your domme letting you buy a dildo that will fit in her harness next month, it kind of contradicts this "only domestic service" statement of yours..........



....just wondering, no offence but it sounds like you're making something up, or maybe have more than one person on the account

Oooh, nice job catching that, Aeroil.

Cause yeah, I'd have to agree that getting reamed by a strapon dildo would not fall under my domestic tasks heading, personally.

Unless it's used to break up a clog in the toilet or something.

Okay, that gave me a mental image that was sick and funny at the same time.

 

[Aeroil]

hehehe, thanks I try

 

[sunfox]

And more on topic, let me just add that I take care of myself, and have for most of my life. I'm self-employed, and no one takes care of me.

However, C has responsibilities towards me, both as his wife and as his submissive. I have bad rotator cuffs, so it's his job to see that when he's got me tied in certain positions, that I'm not in pain or doing further damage to myself. It's his responsibility to make certain he's not hurting me beyond what I can take. It's his responsibility to respect me for who I am, and to employ that towards his own happiness as well as mine.

That reasonable portion of the post done, I'll also add that your posts come across as snotty and condescending. Just in case you weren't perfectly aware of that, and doing it on purpose. Have a nice day.

 

[blue kat]

err, garylee, in the strapon topic you're talking about your domme letting you buy a dildo that will fit in her harness next month, it kind of contradicts this "only domestic service" statement of yours..........



....just wondering, no offense but it sounds like you're making something up, or maybe have more than one person on the account

Bingo! Give that man a prize. In one thread he's talking about what appears to be sexual domination, in another he's telling there is none. Can't be both, sweetie. And I'm not really trying to invalidate garylee, the "tenor" or tone of his original post sounded a bit inflammatory, like he was trying to start something. It looks like I may have mis-read him. If so, my apologies, but since he is contradicting himself left and right, the jury's still out with me. The reason I answered originally is that, regardless of attitude or intent, it is a good question.

 

[graceanne]

err, garylee, in the strapon topic you're talking about your domme letting you buy a dildo that will fit in her harness next month, it kind of contradicts this "only domestic service" statement of yours..........

....just wondering, no offence but it sounds like you're making something up, or maybe have more than one person on the account

hm, good point. I don't read the strap on thread, so I didn't see that. But as Kat said, this is a good thread point.

 

[garylee]

b.s.------

naw man......point is........i asked........because i want to.......submit 100%.......not just run my mouth like a lot of folks......
best way i could figure out was the strapon......JUST for HER dude....
not me.........k......
i am trying to please HER..........
now how in holy hell is that wrong???/
and i just goddamn got done doing the drywall and slatboards from the destruction in the house........
i am hot/sweaty/tired.....thirsty.....
aint like a lot of em i see sit on their butt and do nothing....
but its what i like......ya know?
i like doing the damned work around here......picked up the tree limbs......picked up the trash from the wind.......
i got a lotta damned dirty work to do......
but its WHAT i do.......k?
so if Her putting a dildoe up my ass to PROVE myself.....is wrong..by god ya all just get a gun and shoot me now.
k?>
always someone gotta start damned accusing me o shit i aint damn done.
its why i dont trust no one......aint no one i CAN trust for holy christ sake..........
ya all just have your giddy school girl giggles......i know damn well not a one of ya would put up with it if n someone started shit about you.........would ya?
so much for a free damned country and the so called accepting lifestyle.......2 faced s.o.b.'s aint ya?
damn almighty....


piss on it.....i'm outta here........take this and shove it.....

 

[Netzach]

You could talk renovations with catalina, I believe. I know she's been doing a ton of work on their house. Or you could compare notes with my M who's been pulling 14 hour days so we have a roof over our head while I recover from being sick to the point where I can wear a corset and heels and entertain fetishistic little freaks' desires again. Or you could ask sunfox how to build a fence.

I don't know any subs who don't work really damn hard to keep things afloat and running.

 

[sunfox]

Okay, I want to know who gets to sit on their butt and do nothing.

Cause I'm moving in with them, as soon as I'm done trimming and rasping the hooves of the yearling, 2 year old, and two 3 year old horses in the barn... and after I recover from the kicks I'm sure to get while doing it.

I've recently finished doing frame walls and drywall myself, as it happens. And unfortunately, not nearly done.

[sarcasm] Hooray for the lazy submissive lifestyle. [/sarcasm]

 

[A Desert Rose]

There are a large number of subs who are interested in ONLY being Domestic subs. It may or may not involve sex or S and M. AND, to make things better, there ARE Dominants out there who want only to be served in a domestic capacity.

IT feeds a need.

MESSAGE TO THE FORUM: Not understanding someone's need is no excuse to invalidate it, imho.

Sounds like garylee has the equation right for him.

Sorry MissT, but this is a goofy thread... all around. And I think it will just get goofier.

 

[catalina_francisco]

You could talk renovations with catalina, I believe. I know she's been doing a ton of work on their house. Or you could compare notes with my M who's been pulling 14 hour days so we have a roof over our head while I recover from being sick to the point where I can wear a corset and heels and entertain fetishistic little freaks' desires again. Or you could ask sunfox how to build a fence.

I don't know any subs who don't work really damn hard to keep things afloat and running.

LOL, tell me about it. Lucky I don't have a Dom who is hung up on nice painted and manicured nails cause they won't be that for a long time now. Have put my back out about 4 times now shifting heavy furniture and lifting boxes....fallen off the ladder a couple of times by mistake.....scraped back by hand one complete floor of the house's walls which had several layers of wallpaper and paint on them, and replastered them....and removed 2 layers of tiles from the kitchen walls with bleeding hands and replastered and painted as well as tiled the walls and floor...and laid the living room floor (with Masterful One's help this time as with the retiling of the kitchen)....and now I have to do the hallway, finish some plastering and painting of the living room, before moving up to the second flor and then the third floor which will include renovating completely one bathroom and building another one from scratch. But hey, it is getting me fit and in shape again, and keeping me out of mischief for awhile. Sheesh and people wonder why he wanted a slave?!!

Catalina

 

[Aeroil]

Re: b.s.------

naw man......point is........i asked........because i want to.......submit 100%.......not just run my mouth like a lot of folks......
best way i could figure out was the strapon......JUST for HER dude....
not me.........k......
i am trying to please HER..........
now how in holy hell is that wrong???/
and i just goddamn got done doing the drywall and slatboards from the destruction in the house........
i am hot/sweaty/tired.....thirsty.....
aint like a lot of em i see sit on their butt and do nothing....
but its what i like......ya know?
i like doing the damned work around here......picked up the tree limbs......picked up the trash from the wind.......
i got a lotta damned dirty work to do......
but its WHAT i do.......k?
so if Her putting a dildoe up my ass to PROVE myself.....is wrong..by god ya all just get a gun and shoot me now.
k?>
always someone gotta start damned accusing me o shit i aint damn done.
its why i dont trust no one......aint no one i CAN trust for holy christ sake..........
ya all just have your giddy school girl giggles......i know damn well not a one of ya would put up with it if n someone started shit about you.........would ya?
so much for a free damned country and the so called accepting lifestyle.......2 faced s.o.b.'s aint ya?
damn almighty....


piss on it.....i'm outta here........take this and shove it.....

wow....someone got defensive in a hurry..... sorry garylee, if I offended, given your earlier statements, this thread just seemed contradictory...... hmm, I don't know what else to say, I don't think anyone here was trying to offend you, quite a few people here said they approved of your lifestyle, I don't have any objections to it...... also the tone of your posts in this thread just seems odd, different from the others, but maybe that's just me......

 

[garylee]

APOLOGIES!!!!!!!!!!

i would be amiss(remiss?) if i did not do as i promised a certain Lady here.........that i would do.........and i kinda broke that work when i lost my temper.........yes......it WAS childish and i offer NO excuse.......its a garylee temper tantrum thingy......
and none of you folks deserved it.......(gulp)I WAS WRONG!!
-------
i most humbly (i hate this word)beg.......(sigh) your forgiveness......for my childish attitude and behavior.
Ms T?.........i owe YOU an apology.......i told You i was getting better and i let myself slide back......i offer YOU a sincere apology.

(deep breath)
at 51 i shoulda known better......and didnt act better.
I AM SINCERELY SORRY............TO EVERYONE.
later,......okay?
(sneeking off in the shadows........................)

garylee