Dominate me

[Mr_Ms_Fetish]

Master wants to be a slave, but needs to train her new master first. Any advice??

 

[Rubyfruit]

I am so confused.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Master wants to be a slave, but needs to train her new master first. Any advice??

My first advice would be to clarfy, because I'm confused as hell.

 

[Mr_Ms_Fetish]

Ok...here's the story

My mate has been a dominatrix in the past, and now wants to be my slave. I have no experience in the art, so I will be her slave first so I can learn. We were just wondering if anybody out there may have some ideas on where to begin.

 

[psiberzerker]

I'll start with the advice I give to everyone new to being on the handle end, go slow. Domination is probably the hardest position in this sport, and most demanding. Submission, and masochism may be more intensive, but for the amount of work, my vote is Dom/me.
The best way to do it is to get into their head, since you know him better than I, you should know where some of his buttons are. The trick is knowing which to press, and when, to say nothing of how hard. I usually start with the most sensitive, but just barely touch it.
Pay attention to the feedback you get from him. Nothing can be so informative as a frown, or the slight inclining of his head. Keep your eyes on his, but practice your evil eye first. You have to impale with your stare, read his eyes without letting anything slip. Master that, and you can master him.
You're used to the bottom, so you know what to look for. Get a mirror, and adjust your expression untill you got it. I suggest memorising it, holding it untill it starts to ache a bit. Then, sit down, and watch the comedy channel (or whatever) and try to hold it there. Get on of those "BOOO!" surprize movies, whatever distraction so you can hold it no matter what.
A good Glare is the best weapon of the dominant. Add a stance, the drill instructor bellow, and you're done. After that, It's just knowing what to say. Don't belittle them, call them pussy, and cheap shit like that. We've all heard that stuff, and it no longer shocks us. Pull out shit he's never heard, things he's only told you, things he's ashamed of, just do it gently. Don't go right for the throat, or you'll lose him.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Ok. I think i've got that. HE is new. She isn't. She WAS a Domme but now wants to sub. SO. She wants to train HIM to Dom her? Do I have that right? Something like that? Well Welcome to the BDSM Board!! Hang around here long enough and you'll notice me jumping in whenever i see a new face on a thread and throwing in a shameless plug for our wonderful BDSM Library. It's full of threads on subjects of interest for both the experienced AND inexperienced. I would especially recommend Wizard's link thread, found under the category "Links"--it's a favorite around here.

Enjoy your stay, start posting so we can get to know you, and most of all...enjoy your journey

~anelize, "your shameless submissive librarian"

 

[Shadowsdream]

Master wants to be a slave, but needs to train her new master first. Any advice??

My advise is to see what it is you want? Do you Dominate because you are submitting to what your Master wants..or because you wish to become a Dominant?
Is there a Dominant bone in your body or is this another act of submission?

 

[Rantalith]

I am new to this board, but have 20+ years experience as a Dom. I would have to agree with both psiberzerker and Shadowsdream that being a Dom is harder than most people think it is. It is not something that you can just switch on and off to please someone. A good Dom lives the role and knows when to push and when not to.

Being a Dom is a state of mind. IT is more than just telling someone what to do and how to do it. You have to be albe to have your sub/slave do something by just giving them a look or standing in a certian way. The sub/slave has to know and believe that you are in charge.

I had a sub that wanted to switch and try to be a Dom. So I helped her and even set her up with a friends sub to expermint with. She just could not do it, as she was not a Dom at heart.

Sorry to ramble...I will shut up now

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Welcome to the community Rantalith

~anelize

 

[psiberzerker]

I'm not going to go off on the "What it is to be a Dominant" rant. It's been done to death. What I'd like to point out is that there's a difference between being a Dom/me, and Dominating. You don't have to have the Master gene to hold the leash, and some who have it are still shitty because they're the snidely whiplash type. (Nya uh uh!)
The best training is paying attention. I don't know how much experience you've got on the bottom, but you should have some idea what to expect. If you've seen him in action, you shopuld know what he expects. I'm not saying you'll get it right off, but just that knowledge should be enough to dominate him once you get used to the reversal.
Now a word to those "Real Dom/me" elitists out there. This is role play, it doesn't have a real bone in it's body. As long as someone can go through the motions well enough to fool me, I'm not complaining. I concider myself a "Real" Dominant, or true, or whatever epithet of purity you want to prefix it with despite the fact that I will allow myself to be bound, beaten, and burned by "Real, true, and pure" submisives. If that doesn't satisfy you, go find someone who does, or fuck yourselves whichever comes first.
Alright, I lied about going off on the "Real Dom" rant, so sue me.

 

[Mr_Ms_Fetish]

From the Mr:
Thanks for the advice. I've been looking around the sight and think I may be a natural at playing the master role. I have no problem starting on the bottom to learn first hand about the experience.
I have zero experience in the D/s role, but i wouldn't say I'm a virgin either. This should be fun.

 

[psiberzerker]

I have to chuckle every time I hear a neophyte say "I think I'm a natural". After all, how hard can it be?
On the other hand, I think the bottom is the perfect place to start. You can learn a lot about domination from being dominated, Sadism from masochism. Good luck, just don't get to cocky going in.

 

[Netzach]

If it's real in the moment and it's real to you, it's real.

Enough about that.

 

[Mr_Ms_Fetish]

Please don't get me wrong. I don't expect to jump in and swim my first time. It's an experienced art, but I need to learn the brush strokes before I start painting.

 

[phalanxlord]

Another consideration.... while she is submitting to you, is she actually giving control of the scene to you, or is she still calling the shots??

This reminds me of an old episode of Real Sex,in which the Husband would let his submissive wife paddle him... but he was still calling the shots (they were very happy this way )

Also, one other thought to bring forward... it has been my experience that, when thinking of oneself as either Dominant or submisive, people change throughout their lives all the time. Often, at work, a person finds themselves in a submissive role, and comes home, and assumes the Dominant. And the opposite can be true, of course.

The point is, we all need to find balance in our lives sometimes. If she is willing to give up control to you, and you find genuine enjoyment and are comfortable in this, that is great. But talk it over with her... I'll bet there will be days when one of the two of you will want to switch back for a little bit.

Have fun!

 

[Richard49]

At one point I trained for a year as a submissve
under a dominate couple. I think it helped a lot in me being
a Dom.

However I was not and did not Dom them when the training was done

Good luck