Domestic hiss

[evesdream]

So...what happened here? Did the man inadvertently marry a vanilla woman, or did she back out and use their life and times against him?

Wifely Duties

Aside from all of that, were his demands
Distasteful or sexy?
Unrealistic or fulfilling?

 

[graceanne]

So...what happened here? Did the man inadvertently marry a vanilla woman, or did she back out and use their life and times against him?

Wifely Duties

Aside from all of that, were his demands
Distasteful or sexy?
Unrealistic or fulfilling?

It seems to me that she didn't initial it, either. As in doesn't seem to me that she consented to it. Probably he inadvertently married a vanilla woman. On his behalf, if I was in a vanilla relationship and was presented this by a guy I'd run far and fast the other way.

 

[Vixandra]

Grace has got it.

As a 'nilla woman I'd run screaming for the hills.
Heck even if I was a sub woman I'd run for said hills- having to continue something even if you're in pain (in a bad way)? No matter what with no escape? Screw that.

Though maybe I have the wrong mindset for this. That whole Domme goodness may be interfearing with my objectivity.

 

[Chicklet]

I can't really tell if this is a joke or not. What I mean is, the guy, did he really take it seriously? I don't think anyone can be the judge... maybe he meant it as a hopeful dream and his wifey pulled it up for evidence. That doesn't excuse the fact that he's apparently a nut-job, and deserves imprisonment, but still I don't think this "contract" is too scary all by it's lonesome.

 

[raven2]

Grace has got it.

As a 'nilla woman I'd run screaming for the hills.
Heck even if I was a sub woman I'd run for said hills- having to continue something even if you're in pain (in a bad way)? No matter what with no escape? Screw that.

Though maybe I have the wrong mindset for this. That whole Domme goodness may be interfearing with my objectivity.

From this male's point of view, this may be a wonderful fantasy for some, but this guy needs a reality check. The pain thing is really bad. How much can this guy care for her if he would require something like that. A person's well being needs to come first.

 

[brioche]

Yep, seems like fantasy to me, for sure. It's just too - too.
You know the part I kept fixating on? The whole nekkid after the kids are in bed for 20 mins.
Is this an only child? I mean, who here doesn't know just how long it takes a kid to fall asleep?
Also, as a contract, at least here: having your penalities in the contract invalidates it, or something like that. Or that might just be with money, but I'm pretty sure it was with other stuff too.
Aw shit, I don't remember. It was too long ago I learned that.

 

[FurryFury]

Okay, we have the "pain" thing. We have the child pornography thing. Then we have the wife kidnap thing. Finally we have this elaborate contract.

I must say, as with most articles, more information is needed!

How much did his wife know about this contract?

What if anything did she consent to?

Exactly what is the charge of kidnapping his own wife based on? This is very worrisome.

What did he allegedly do to be charged with child pornography? This is very worrisome. However I am beginning to believe that there is a lot of entrapment going on in the "crime fighting child porn" crusaders tactics. It is also an instant to discredit someone.

These are the questions I want answered.

Some of his demands could be hot if they were consensual, most really could.

The truth is the wife could have agreed then gotten angry enough to use all this against him including false allegations. We just don't know enough from this article.

There are just not enough facts here. This is shoddy journalism if you ask me. This sort of sloppy reporting really pisses me off.

Fury

 

[rosco rathbone]

I loved it. Perfect example of the grey areas between "bdsm" and normality.

 

[marieR19]

Wow. I agree that it could be really hot and great if it was a true, SSC thing, but it obviously was not. Maybe the wife didn't realize what she was getting into, how serious he was about the contract... Or maybe she didn't consent to the contract at all, which seems to be the case. Wow.

Heather

 

[graceanne]

So I was curious, and I googled his name and the word kidnap to see what I'd find. Evidently he's being charged with downloading child pornography onto his computer.

As to the contract, his lawyer pointed out that their's no way to prove that he gave it to his wife, that she could have made it up on her computer to get him in trouble. As to the kidnapping, their's nothing in the article I read about why they're charging him with that.

edited to add: He's pleading not guilty to all three charges.

 

[FurryFury]

So I was curious, and I googled his name and the word kidnap to see what I'd find. Evidently he's being charged with downloading child pornography onto his computer.

As to the contract, his lawyer pointed out that their's no way to prove that he gave it to his wife, that she could have made it up on her computer to get him in trouble. As to the kidnapping, their's nothing in the article I read about why they're charging him with that.

edited to add: He's pleading not guilty to all three charges.

That's interesting beautiful Graceanne, thank you!

It would be too easy to make it appear someone had downloaded child porn into their computer these days. I deplore child porn, don't get me wrong here, but I don't automatically believe each accusation relating to it.

Of course he's pleading not guilty. So few plead guilty to anything these days unless they don't have a decent attorney or the evidence in irrefutable and can't be twisted to mean something else.

I'm not seeing anything approaching air tight on this case.

Even if this guy is completely innocent and being framed by a vengeful person, he will never live this down.

I seriously doubt he is completely innocent. *L* Few are but I still don't have nearly enough facts.

Fury

 

[graceanne]

That's interesting beautiful Graceanne, thank you!

It would be too easy to make it appear someone had downloaded child porn into their computer these days. I deplore child porn, don't get me wrong here, but I don't automatically believe each accusation relating to it.

Of course he's pleading not guilty. So few plead guilty to anything these days unless they don't have a decent attorney or the evidence in irrefutable and can't be twisted to mean something else.

I'm not seeing anything approaching air tight on this case.

Even if this guy is completely innocent and being framed by a vengeful person, he will never live this down.

I seriously doubt he is completely innocent. *L* Few are but I still don't have nearly enough facts.

Fury

I agree, but either way - unless they have proof he'll get off. I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up moving. And if he didn't do any of those things, I seriously hope that his wife gets her do.

 

[stirbird]

I think they were kinky and she backed out. Maybe because the fellow struck her as unstable due to other things he did or said. Very few people are so oblivious to the world and to others that they would write a contract like that out of the blue for a vanilla partner with no inkling of bdsm.

I liked the big letters showing sexual acts. Wish I had that font in my collection.

 

[FurryFury]

I think they were kinky and she backed out. Maybe because the fellow struck her as unstable due to other things he did or said. Very few people are so oblivious to the world and to others that they would write a contract like that out of the blue for a vanilla partner with no inkling of bdsm.

I liked the big letters showing sexual acts. Wish I had that font in my collection.

Could be. *nods*

Fury

 

[rosco rathbone]

It "goes without saying" that they were "kinkie". They may have had little or no self- or scene-consciousness; however.

The tone of the whole thing laid bare a deep male need and insecurity---and who says that wanna be masters and false dominants and verminous creeps from the unschooled hinterlands are the the only ones who experience this. I think we are seeing the real underlying roots of mastery.

 

[Etoile]

It "goes without saying" that they were "kinkie". They may have had little or no self- or scene-consciousness; however.

The tone of the whole thing laid bare a deep male need and insecurity---and who says that wanna be masters and false dominants and verminous creeps from the unschooled hinterlands are the the only ones who experience this. I think we are seeing the real underlying roots of mastery.

I agree with you that there was no scene-consciousness. I think he was kinky in the way most of us understand it, but I don't know about her.

I'm not sure I see a profound mastery here, though. All the tiny stipulations (pubic hair in any shape, but not more than an equilateral triangle yadda yadda) scream control freak to me. It seems to me a real master wouldn't need to specify all this stuff on paper...it would come naturally from the relationship.

 

[FurryFury]

Micro managing types drive me NUTS! I wouldn't want to have to do that to someone else either. Geez!

Fury

 

[raven2]

I agree with you that there was no scene-consciousness. I think he was kinky in the way most of us understand it, but I don't know about her.

I'm not sure I see a profound mastery here, though. All the tiny stipulations (pubic hair in any shape, but not more than an equilateral triangle yadda yadda) scream control freak to me. It seems to me a real master wouldn't need to specify all this stuff on paper...it would come naturally from the relationship.

Yes, I have to agree with you also. Seems like he has a problem with anything not being exactly the way he wants it. Can you imagine trying to work with someone like that, nevermind live with him?

 

[Marquis]

So...what happened here? Did the man inadvertently marry a vanilla woman, or did she back out and use their life and times against him?

Wifely Duties

Aside from all of that, were his demands
Distasteful or sexy?
Unrealistic or fulfilling?

I have to say, I find nothing abnormal about his demands whatsoever. In fact, the methodical meticulous nature of the whole thing was nothing if not well thought out.

I do think the smoking gun went a bit overboard in the way they lambasted this list, but I'm sure they were counting on more than a few dick's getting hard over this, and probably a couple more pussy's getting wet.

Nice av evesdream, is that a picture of Halle Berry on half of it?

Such a perfect example of a demure black woman she is. None of the brash defensiveness usually associated with the demographic, and doesn't even know her own beauty to boot.

Excellent choice.

 

[graceanne]

Micro managing types drive me NUTS! I wouldn't want to have to do that to someone else either. Geez!

Fury

Me either. Micro managing drives me crazy. Several times, when me and K first got married, and he'd start micromanaging me I'd say "Do you want to do it? Then don't tell me how to do it." He now knows that I generally have a good idea what I'm doing, and if I have any questions I will ask him.

 

[BlueSugar]

followed Etoile's post here


This was sent to me through a feminist friend of mine who sometimes has problems with the bdsm community/feminism, as do alot of sex, kink, weird things do bc my friends love me and send all kinds of odd stuff my way bc they know i love it.


its great to "stick up for one of our own" but, it doesn't say that it is a contract that she is giving consent to and she knowinly got into a 'bdsm' relationship. he actually says it has nothing to do with bdsm, that it isn't a contract they are rules and regulations to be married to me or _________. Can be seen as life will be a living hell for you if you don't, i will leave you/you me if you don't ... and she ran away and reported him - so obviously it wasn't just kink coming out after being dormant.

::shrug::

personally, I feel, its people like this that give us a bad name.

from our pov - doesn't sound like a bad contract


but reread ... it isn't what he was going for.
we see TPE etc... but really hes just a nut with control issues.


... sad really.

 

[graceanne]

followed Etoile's post here


This was sent to me through a feminist friend of mine who sometimes has problems with the bdsm community/feminism, as do alot of sex, kink, weird things do bc my friends love me and send all kinds of odd stuff my way bc they know i love it.


its great to "stick up for one of our own" but, it doesn't say that it is a contract that she is giving consent to and she knowinly got into a 'bdsm' relationship. he actually says it has nothing to do with bdsm, that it isn't a contract they are rules and regulations to be married to me or _________. Can be seen as life will be a living hell for you if you don't, i will leave you/you me if you don't ... and she ran away and reported him - so obviously it wasn't just kink coming out after being dormant.

::shrug::

personally, I feel, its people like this that give us a bad name.

from our pov - doesn't sound like a bad contract


but reread ... it isn't what he was going for.
we see TPE etc... but really hes just a nut with control issues.


... sad really.

As much as I think he's a control freak, if he showed her this before he married her and she stuck around then she's partly to blame. She should have seen that and RUN.

 

[Marquis]

Or she could have seen it and threw her arms around him and said "I do."

 

[Etoile]

from our pov - doesn't sound like a bad contract

That was mostly my point in the other thread.

I know the guy specifically said it wasn't a BDSM contract, she may or may not have known what she was getting into, etc - but as BDSM contracts go, it IS pretty typical.

 

[BlueSugar]

That was mostly my point in the other thread.

I know the guy specifically said it wasn't a BDSM contract, she may or may not have known what she was getting into, etc - but as BDSM contracts go, it IS pretty typical.

I agree. It was well written and clear, fair and actually a little on the vanilla side for the most of us lol...

But *shrug* he brought this to her after they were married for some time, and it wasn't about kink or bdsm, he clearly stated that they were rules to be married to him by.

I wish we could get more info on the case because it is so borderline "is he a nut that used a bdsm contract for his own twisted control freak desires" or "was he going to get to the bdsm aspect eventually and for now these were just rules to break her into the lifestyle"

... she freaked either way and ran... so it doesn't really matter all in all...

but
How long were they married exactly? (apparently long enough to have young children, though, nowadays that doesn't mean much they could have been hers from a previous marriage, they could have had the children and gotten married much later)
did he show signs of "abuse" or "power issues" before?
check the computer, was he discovering bdsm?
were they a kinky couple?
did she do most of this stuff already aside a few specific things?

are we missing any newbie litsters? (j/k)