Dom/sub without dependence

[Miles Long]

Circle of Life.

Hakuna Maturtle

 

[Farawyn]

Hakuna Maturtle

*facepalm*

 

[cookiecat]

snipped....

Had a turtle once, but he died. His name was Gollum.

Was he called Smeagol as a tiny turtle?

Ah mah Gah!!!

Hahhahaaaa!

I am sorry for your loss.

Circle of Life.

Hakuna Maturtle

I, for one, am glad this thread was created simply because of this exchange. My day has been made.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

I've had a bit more coffee, and this just clicked -



and



Let me translate this for you... you are equating her desire to run a home/make your life easier (which can be a full time job) with prostitution (paying for the "experience"), because being a homemaker isn't a paid position with a 401k, health insurance, taxes, direct deposit, etc.*

I'm hoping that sinks in a bit.

Instead of accepting and acknowledging her desire to be in a position to run a home, cater to your whims, make your life easier, take things off your plate so you don't have to lift a finger at home... you're worrying about her not "carrying her weight" financially.

In the mean time, you're also perfectly happy for her to work full time, pay her 1/2 of the cheque at dinner, and prioritize you outside of work (works + plays kinky Donna Reed so things are spic span and spankable when you get home)? What's she getting out of this?

How old is the relationship? And is it possible that she's talking about the "submissive 50s housewife" as a long term goal she has that may not even involve YOU?

*Disclaimer - I was a "50s housewife" for over a decade. My ex-husband didn't see that as something that "financially contributed" to the household, and at times acted like I was taking advantage of him. I was supposed to be thankful he was generous enough to bear the burden of supporting the family... even though every time I offered to work outside the home, he rejected the idea.

What he never really understood (until after I'd left him), was how much value I offered in trade. Without me running the household budget, his expenses doubled, without me running his errands, his free time was cut in half, etc.

When I hear a man worry or complain there is a fiscal imbalance to having a partner who is willing to give up her own financial security (I lost 12 years of paying into social security, 401k, savings accounts, etc PLUS the decade+ employment gap)... it makes me question his values.

Fuckin' AWESOME post.

I don't have a lot to say about D/s aspects of this.
My wife stayed home for 17 years with our children.
I'm not going to claim that I was perfect or that I fully understood the demands/stresses/sacrifices she made (by the same token, she was not perfectly understanding of the demands/stresses/sacrifices I made...I'm reminded of the old 50's sit coms where the couple trades places and finds understanding).
But I did respect that we were both contributing to our mutual goals. In different ways, certainly, but both very important.

I think here, the question is what are the mutual goals?
What do you see as your life together? What do you both want out of this relationship?

 

[barefootgirl69]

Fuckin' AWESOME post.

I don't have a lot to say about D/s aspects of this.
My wife stayed home for 17 years with our children.
I'm not going to claim that I was perfect or that I fully understood the demands/stresses/sacrifices she made (by the same token, she was not perfectly understanding of the demands/stresses/sacrifices I made...I'm reminded of the old 50's sit coms where the couple trades places and finds understanding).
But I did respect that we were both contributing to our mutual goals. In different ways, certainly, but both very important.

I think here, the question is what are the mutual goals?
What do you see as your life together? What do you both want out of this relationship?

I like your thought provoking questions! That is why communication between two people is so important!

 

[lakesailer_mi]

I like your thought provoking questions! That is why communication between two people is so important!

Yeah, and in my experience we talk about communication a lot...