Dom/mes' what is your pleasure? or displeasure?

[A Desert Rose]

What are the ways a submissive pleases his/her "Dom/mes?"

I am a submissive, and I would like to know what are the *little* things that get subs in trouble and what are the *little* things that PLEASES their Dom/mes.

This thread is NOT about technique or toys or "PLAY". It's about the little things a sub does in everyday living, in a Power Exchange relationship.

I appreciate your attention to my thread. I freely admit that I am naive about many things, but open to all ideas.

Thank you,
Rose

 

[zipman]

It's late and I'm tired...

But here is one way that my sub "pleases me." On any day that she has swallowed my cum, she will not eat dessert - as she has already had her dessert for the day. This is not a rule that we have, but something she chose to do that makes me appreciate the beauty of her submission.

It truly pleases me.

 

[Shadowsdream]

rose

What a wonderful thread you have begun...

(What are the ways a submissive pleases his/her "Dom/mes?" )

It is the little things that stand out for Me...the small unexpected thoughtfulnesses. ( is that a word?)

One that stands out in My mind is a day not long ago when My toy was working out of the home. On his way back to Me he stopped to pick up a few groceries and returned with extras just for Me.
he knows I have a minor addiction to a specific Swedish chocolate bar so he brought Me 3, he knew I had a sore throat so he brought Me home My favourite cough drops. he gave them to Me from his knees and with a great joy for he knew in his heart that I would laugh and adore his devotion.

(what are the *little* things that get subs in trouble)

My toy has always had a problem of closing cupboard doors. I have CURED him of this habit 99% of the time but he forgets every few months and will leave a door open. I correct him with 10 stingy cane slaps for each door left open.

 

[WillowPuss]

Hmmmmm - a real toughie disguised as an easy question ...

Little things ...

like, taking him His coffee in bed
like, putting his lunch into his briefcase for him - and sometimes including a little something extra (cake, chocolate etc)
like, cooking his favourite meal despite protests from the kids?


That kind of thing?

 

[Goddess Helena]

My boy called me Mistress rather than My Mistress. Minor thing, however, the day before we had discussed this issue.

It always pleases me when my boy begins to glow with happiness because I am near.


Helena

 

[A Desert Rose]

These are wonderful

THANK YOU all for taking the time to respond.

Lovely things to hear from you all. And I am smiling.

Rose

 

[MsWorthy]

Hmmmmm - a real toughie disguised as an easy question ...

Little things ...

like, taking him His coffee in bed
like, putting his lunch into his briefcase for him - and sometimes including a little something extra (cake, chocolate etc)
like, cooking his favourite meal despite protests from the kids?


That kind of thing?

Those are the kinds of things I like too, Willow. *smiles*

I am quite spoiled and treated like royalty (my siblings can't stand it and like to talk about how little I do ...lol.. an obvious case of jealousy).

Some of the things my partner does that I particularly like - when she knows I am going to watch TV she makes sure the ottoman is in place and moves my drink to the table where she knows I will sit. She also lays out my clothing while I am bathing so that I can simply slip into them without having to root through drawers to find them (I usually bathe in the evening and she knows what I like to wear then. If I bathe in the morning she asks me if she should choose or if I would rather look myself). She serves me first at mealtimes and always looks for the *best* slice of meat or the juiciest piece of chicken to put on my plate.

My partner is quite chivalrous and gallant (courteous, attentive, and anticipates my needs). She seems to think that I shouldn't be bothered with small things (she calls it scut work and feels it is her job to do these things for me). Isn't she marvelous!

She is truly the most wonderful person I have ever known.

~pardon the gushy, mushy stuff....smiles....I couldn't resist bragging for a moment~

 

[artful]

I am a submissive, and I would like to know what are the *little* things that get subs in trouble and what are the *little* things that PLEASES their Dom/mes.

Thank you,
Rose

Well,...here it is,...FRIDAY. Yep,...I made it!
Kind of proud of myself in a childish way, there are,(and were), so many times I "ALMOST" caved in, to my desire to post on a thread.

Knowing ALL the threads that beckoned me to post,...it was difficult for me to decide which one to post to FIRST,(there ARE a lot of good topic threads).

I chose this thread for two reasons,...

1)-Rose is a good friend of mine,...we talk a lot on PM'S.

2)-The topic begs my attention.

Early on,...in developing a TPE, (which is the only REAL interest I have in a relationship), I set a few RIGID rules, (nothing big,...mostly anyone can do them), but I expect STRICT adherence to those rules.

As we get to know each other through observation and verbal communication, normally the HARD limits are discussed freely. Those are the biggies, they stand out in flashing neon sign like clarity.

Usually,...it is the *little* things that get overlooked on both sides,...where a completeness is formed,...or a failed relationship happens.

ITEM-A:

As I am somewhat past legal age of 21, (59), often I have dealt with a woman who has children. Children who are living at home with their Mother,
are the HIGHEST priority, (their welfare).

Does this mean I spoil them? Nope,...but I do put their NEEDS as the highest priority. I have no URGE to control that child,...in ANY way,...but if my sub asks me to MAKE a decision on a matter,... we will discuss the issue,...and if I make a decision on the matter,...I expect it to stand.

There are times, I may see a problem developing I think needs to be addressed, and I will take it upon myself to open a discussion on whatever it may be. These discussions are merely that,... counseling.

SHE, will make whatever decisions she wishes. If at a later time,...the PROBLEM has escalated, and she comes to me, asking for a decision on THAT matter,...I will THEN make a decision, and I expect that decision to stand.

ITEM:-B

I don't care to be questioned on a daily basis as to WHAT my sub can do to please me. When she has FREE time, and she will have a LOT of that in the beginning, (as I continue to evaluate BOTH her needs and mine), I expect her to busy herself in caring for the household duties, (there is ALWAYS something needs to be done).

Does this mean she can't take a nap, watch TV, listen to music, relax, make phone calls, etc.? Nope,...but she DOES need to ask my permission before engaging in things that MIGHT interfere with what I may have planned.

ITEM:-C

Rules and Rituals will be addressed at appropiate times. They will be slow in forming, as they are VERY important.

I won't ask for anything that I suspect may be questionable, but if I tell her to remove my shoes and socks before I undress,...then I will EXPECT that to be done in a LOVING manner, (not with a grimace).

ITEM:-D

Dream and I both, love Reese's peanut butter cups.
It MAY please me to give her the LAST one. When I offer it to her,...I don't want to hear,..."But Master,...it is the LAST one,...YOU go ahead and eat it,...for I know you love them SO."

Inadvertently,...she would have QUESTIONED my intelligence, and/or, ability to do what *I*, want to do. Had *I*,..wanted the LAST Reese's, I would simply have said,..."Dream,...unwrap the LAST cup and place it in your Master's mouth."

I hope this is what you were asking for Rose?

(I may come back to post more on this, if asked to, but this is enough for now)

 

[cymbidia]

Re: Re: Dom/mes' what is your pleasure? or displeasure?

Well,...here it is,...FRIDAY. Yep,...I made it!
Kind of proud of myself in a childish way, there are,(and were), so many times I "ALMOST" caved in, to my desire to post on a thread.

You needn't feel it's at all childish, Artful, to have refrained from jumping into the unpleasantries. I applaud your self-restraint.


When i am separated from my dominant, as is the case now, i send a small bit of myself--an ecard, some kinda pic i know he'll like, an interesting site link--to him each day. Though we talk on the phone daily, and do some of the dread (to me) IM kinda talk, i hope the small email touch i send gives him reason to know that i think of him and his interests whether he is nearby or away.

When we are driving together, i touch him often for the same reason. I lay my hand on his shoulder, for example, and stroke very slightly, just for the contact. (I don't want to disturb his concentration!)

I look forward to getting to know his smaller, more day-to-day likes and dislikes in the way that many of the rest of you have described so that i can cater to those, as well.

 

[artful]

cym

You needn't feel it's at all childish, Artful, to have refrained from jumping into the unpleasantries. I applaud your self-restraint.

Thanks,...but the FLAMING didn't affect me,...I have never wanted to participate in such things. I have been in them,...but they were against my wishes.

I think it is a waste of time to attack ANYONE'S character,...WHO they are, name calling etc. Nobody can *WIN*,...and it always leaves casualties.

My biggest challenge was wanting to respond to Perse on the netiquette thread, (after my last post had been on there for 24 hours).-LMAO

By the way,...I ALSO love to be touched by my sub at all times when it is convenient. NOTHING sexual,...just that,..~I am here,~..kind of touch.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Dom/mes' what is your pleasure? or displeasure?

I chose this thread for two reasons,...

1)-Rose is a good friend of mine,...we talk a lot on PM'S.

2)-The topic begs my attention.

(I may come back to post more on this, if asked to, but this is enough for now)

Thank you Art. You and dream are mine, too. And thank you for your help in writing this thread.

I lurked here for almost a month before I ever posted, as I have said before, and I "picked" my friends accordingly. Art and dream were my first two imaginary (if you will) friends here.

Love,
Rose

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: It's late and I'm tired...

But here is one way that my sub "pleases me." On any day that she has swallowed my cum, she will not eat dessert - as she has already had her dessert for the day. This is not a rule that we have, but something she chose to do that makes me appreciate the beauty of her submission.

It truly pleases me.

I really, really like this. However, I also really, really like cheesecake, too. I might not have the same will power that your lovely sub has. Kudos to her!

Rose

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Re: Dom/mes' what is your pleasure? or displeasure?

When we are driving together, i touch him often for the same reason. I lay my hand on his shoulder, for example, and stroke very slightly, just for the contact. (I don't want to disturb his concentration!)

I look forward to getting to know his smaller, more day-to-day likes and dislikes in the way that many of the rest of you have described so that i can cater to those, as well.

Art mentioned this too. I agree with you both. I think touch is indicative of care and concern for your Dom/me. I can't imagine it would not be welcomed by Him/Her. I like to hold hands......

Rose

 

[A Desert Rose]

rose

What a wonderful thread you have begun...

(What are the ways a submissive pleases his/her "Dom/mes?" )

It is the little things that stand out for Me...the small unexpected thoughtfulnesses. ( is that a word?)

On Lance's thread about favorite props you mention a key..... you have me very curious, MsShadows....Key to what, may I ask?

Little acts of thoughtfulness: I used to grind my Dom's coffee beans and have His coffee maker ready for Him when He awoke in the morning.

Thank you Shadows. Your words grace my thread.
Rose

 

[~Dream~]

Re: Re: Dom/mes' what is your pleasure? or displeasure?

Well,...here it is,...FRIDAY. Yep,...I made it!
Kind of proud of myself in a childish way, there are,(and were), so many times I "ALMOST" caved in, to my desire to post on a thread.

Knowing ALL the threads that beckoned me to post,...it was difficult for me to decide which one to post to FIRST,(there ARE a lot of good topic threads).

I chose this thread for two reasons,...

1)-Rose is a good friend of mine,...we talk a lot on PM'S.

2)-The topic begs my attention.

Early on,...in developing a TPE, (which is the only REAL interest I have in a relationship), I set a few RIGID rules, (nothing big,...mostly anyone can do them), but I expect STRICT adherence to those rules.

As we get to know each other through observation and verbal communication, normally the HARD limits are discussed freely. Those are the biggies, they stand out in flashing neon sign like clarity.

Usually,...it is the *little* things that get overlooked on both sides,...where a completeness is formed,...or a failed relationship happens.

ITEM-A:

As I am somewhat past legal age of 21, (59), often I have dealt with a woman who has children. Children who are living at home with their Mother,
are the HIGHEST priority, (their welfare).

Does this mean I spoil them? Nope,...but I do put their NEEDS as the highest priority. I have no URGE to control that child,...in ANY way,...but if my sub asks me to MAKE a decision on a matter,... we will discuss the issue,...and if I make a decision on the matter,...I expect it to stand.

There are times, I may see a problem developing I think needs to be addressed, and I will take it upon myself to open a discussion on whatever it may be. These discussions are merely that,... counseling.

SHE, will make whatever decisions she wishes. If at a later time,...the PROBLEM has escalated, and she comes to me, asking for a decision on THAT matter,...I will THEN make a decision, and I expect that decision to stand.

ITEM:-B

I don't care to be questioned on a daily basis as to WHAT my sub can do to please me. When she has FREE time, and she will have a LOT of that in the beginning, (as I continue to evaluate BOTH her needs and mine), I expect her to busy herself in caring for the household duties, (there is ALWAYS something needs to be done).

Does this mean she can't take a nap, watch TV, listen to music, relax, make phone calls, etc.? Nope,...but she DOES need to ask my permission before engaging in things that MIGHT interfere with what I may have planned.

ITEM:-C

Rules and Rituals will be addressed at appropiate times. They will be slow in forming, as they are VERY important.

I won't ask for anything that I suspect may be questionable, but if I tell her to remove my shoes and socks before I undress,...then I will EXPECT that to be done in a LOVING manner, (not with a grimace).

ITEM:-D

Dream and I both, love Reese's peanut butter cups.
It MAY please me to give her the LAST one. When I offer it to her,...I don't want to hear,..."But Master,...it is the LAST one,...YOU go ahead and eat it,...for I know you love them SO."

Inadvertently,...she would have QUESTIONED my intelligence, and/or, ability to do what *I*, want to do. Had *I*,..wanted the LAST Reese's, I would simply have said,..."Dream,...unwrap the LAST cup and place it in your Master's mouth."

I hope this is what you were asking for Rose?

(I may come back to post more on this, if asked to, but this is enough for now)

thank God You are back my love..at last!!

Rose... mY take on this is as a sub it is not only my duty but my honor to please Him as much as possible..I particularly like to do the little things(sneaky lil kisses on the neck)..feeding hIM FRENCH fries..massaging hIS TIRED ACHING feet or back ,without being asked..just all kinds of "affection-oriented stuff
I feel my Master really does appreciate me and all I do for Him however,I am always seeking new ways to do so too..

 

[A Desert Rose]

She is truly the most wonderful person I have ever known.

~pardon the gushy, mushy stuff....smiles....I couldn't resist bragging for a moment~

Wonderful, positives MsWorthy. Thank you for your post.

Rose

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Re: Dom/mes' what is your pleasure? or displeasure?

I particularly like to do the little things(sneaky lil kisses on the neck)..feeding hIM FRENCH fries..massaging hIS TIRED ACHING feet or back ,without being asked..just all kinds of "affection-oriented stuff
I feel my Master really does appreciate me and all I do for Him however,I am always seeking new ways to do so too..

LMAO at the "sneaky little" things. That is so you, dream doll.

The little things that come as a surprise, I think are greatly appreciated by our Dom/mes. I used to leave little notes, tucked in surprising places: maybe a sticky on his steering wheel that said "I love you." Silly stuff like that.

Love,
Rose

 

[~Dream~]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Dom/mes' what is your pleasure? or displeasure?

Art mentioned this too. I agree with you both. I think touch is indicative of care and concern for your Dom/me. I can't imagine it would not be welcomed by Him/Her. I like to hold hands......

Rose

Touch is of utmost importance as I stated on another post,it gives that "feeling" of oneness" to the relationship..
I touched Master as much as I could ,even while He peacefully slept(lol) i just couldnt seem to get enuf of the 'feel" of Him next to me touching skin-to-skin..it was amazing how many times I 'felt ' His eyes on me as I slept also...I LOVE remembering those things ..now tht we are apart again..communication will be of utmost importance to Our relationship..I will have to try to make my 'cyber-kisses 'feel as good as possible etc..

 

[Ebonyfire]

What are the ways a submissive pleases his/her "Dom/mes?"

Excellent thread Rose.

I had hernia surgery in January. It was same day surgery, and I was back at home the same day. Sissy knows I do not have much family here, and he was sad he could not pick me up and take me cause of job responsibilities. When I got home, there was a voice mail message asking me to call him because he was concerned about me.

It really made me feel good, it was the only call I got that day. Not even my daughter called.

Eb

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Dom/mes' what is your pleasure? or displeasure?

Excellent thread Rose.

I had hernia surgery in January. It was same day surgery, and I was back at home the same day. Sissy knows I do not have much family here, and he was sad he could not pick me up and take me cause of job responsibilities. When I got home, there was a voice mail message asking me to call him because he was concerned about me.

It really made me feel good, it was the only call I got that day. Not even my daughter called.

Eb

Thank you Eb, coming from you, that means a lot.

Phone messages, ecards, email, little handwritten notes, especially on days like you speak of, mean more than words can usually express.

Love,
Rose

 

[MsWorthy]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Dom/mes' what is your pleasure? or displeasure?

Art mentioned this too. I agree with you both. I think touch is indicative of care and concern for your Dom/me. I can't imagine it would not be welcomed by Him/Her. I like to hold hands......

Rose

This post reminded me that I didn't respond to the second part of the question: displeasure.

I am probably alone in this, but I do not like to have my face touched if I am not expecting/prepared for it. It probably came from having to allow hugs and kisses from distant relatives that I thought didn't like me, when I was a child (I have never liked being told I had to do anything, even as a child *smiles*).

This is something my partner had to learn. If she held my face or attempted to kiss me when I wasn't prepared/hadn't ask for it, I would pull away in irritation. I understood that her motives were loving and I apologized for hurting her feelings (I knew that it felt like a rejection to her) when I would pull away.

But this is unpleasant for me and displeases me if she does it now. (It is rare that she ever does, but after four years, I figure she knows better)

 

[Verypowerful]

"Little things" that please me.

When I and s go out for dinner he orders the same food as I do, not because it is something I ask of him but as a sign of respect for my choice. This makes me smile.

VP

 

[A Desert Rose]

hummm

Very nice act of respect from Your sub, Verypowerful. Something I had never thought of doing.

Rose

 

[Verypowerful]

Yes it is very nice Rose, and it is the unexpected little gifts that sometimes stand out in a special way.

VP

 

[Quint]

Wishing that I had more r/l experience with T so I could answer this question more thoroughly.

When we were together, I did the "casual stroking of non-sexual part to soothe him/remind him I'm here" thing. A great deal of that was fascination and delight that he was actually here, in the flesh, but I know how happy it makes me to know that I'm being thought of, and so I tried to return that as much as possible.

I posted this on the Weekend thread but it bears repeating here: once in the middle of the night T woke coughing and without thinking, I got up, went to the bathroom, and got him a glass of water. By the time I came back he was already asleep again and I had just really realized what I had done. Giggling ensued. It was such an innate reaction! "T is coughing; he wants water. Must get water." But I could tell that, unconscious as he was, he appreciated the thought behind it.

As far as irritation...I often get frustrated with myself for things that are not directly in my control, and then he gets frustrated at me for taking more responsibility upon myself than I should. I am only responsible for my actions and emotions; as a rational and intelligent being, he is the only one who ultimately controls his emotions, and so it's almost an insult to him when I apologize for "making" him feel a certain way. Logically I know and agree with this, but consistently doing it is still a work in progress. o)

This thread has given me all sorts of warm fuzzies! Thank you, Rose!