Dom Male-Female Switch-Lesbian Sub advice/help needed

[Naiser76]

Looking for comments, advice, suggestions, info or even posted stories to research this type of relationship. The relationship consists of a Dominate Male, a female switch and a lesbian sub (as mentioned in subject). Currently things tend to drift toward me being with my sub or her being with her's in seperate situations. Her sub has no bi tendancies so I do not try to interfer with them in a direct sexual manner.

While I am fine with the situation, my sub feels guilty that she is not able to please us both all the time. If anyone has had experience in this type of situation or has any info on one I would be interesting if you posted here or PM'd them info.

 

[ethereal~minx]

the Switch is having difficulty? uhm, yeah I have advice---- COMMUNICATE! Hello. that is what this flippin level of being is about for goodness sakes. consciousness--- I reeeally want to comment I reeally feel I have something to say but it is coming across very personal because it is. Experience in a relationship? no. the extent of my involvement was participation~~~we were a Dominant Male, a female switch and a male sub in my eyes. Each of you, individually must own your own life.

Because you are the one here addressing a need brought up by your sub, I'm responding to you as if you're seeking comment, advice, suggestion, info on how to address her feelings of inadequacy in pleasing you both...
You're the Dominant. she's your sub. find out what her deepest desire is, what her dream is and honor it~ tell her you will keep it for her in your heart.. tell her you know it is in her heart and you will now hold it cherished in your heart as well, you will keep it safe there in yours for her-- tell it to her face, look in her eyes and hold that dream for her. you know what that intimacy will do? it will show her that you hold her in your heart, that her dream is as valued to you as it is to her~~~ I'm not saying that you must 'act' the dream or 'do' the dream but what you are doing is saying that you hold that dream just as you would your own.. and when she feels that her dream is safe and honored and valued ..and with the two of you holding that dream in your hearts, miraculous changes will occur because there will be belief ~ there is power in being held there,
I think with this type of communication, this type of intimacy~ her feelings of inadequacy can turn around..
she wants to please and she needs for someone to KNOW, and that someone is you..
with your support, you both can transform this situation into the most enchanted triangle




If you want me to KNOW your dreams, I'll be there for you~ and I will always keep them safe in my heart for you because your good is my good~

 

[Shadowsdream]

Looking for comments, advice, suggestions, info or even posted stories to research this type of relationship. The relationship consists of a Dominate Male, a female switch and a lesbian sub (as mentioned in subject). Currently things tend to drift toward me being with my sub or her being with her's in seperate situations. Her sub has no bi tendancies so I do not try to interfer with them in a direct sexual manner.

While I am fine with the situation, my sub feels guilty that she is not able to please us both all the time. If anyone has had experience in this type of situation or has any info on one I would be interesting if you posted here or PM'd them info.

You being "FINE" with the situation is not good enough...it simply says that You accept not that You enjoy, get hot, or support the relationship in its 3 way form.

To Me it is like the submissive that comes to Me and says i am "WILLING" to do anything you desire, to submit to You...willing is not good enough...

If I ever allowed a submissive of Mine to have a submissive of their own (never happen) I would know that I still must be the strength behind the emotional well being of both..sexual contact has nothing to do with the big picture...

 

[Etoile]

Re: Re: Dom Male-Female Switch-Lesbian Sub advice/help needed

If I ever allowed a submissive of Mine to have a submissive of their own (never happen) I would know that I still must be the strength behind the emotional well being of both..sexual contact has nothing to do with the big picture...

I can understand why a complete submissive of yours wouldn't have a sub of their own. But what if your partner was a switch who felt submissive with you and dominant with someone else? I know of many bi women who feel they can only dominate a woman, not a man.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Re: Re: Re: Dom Male-Female Switch-Lesbian Sub advice/help needed

I can understand why a complete submissive of yours wouldn't have a sub of their own. But what if your partner was a switch who felt submissive with you and dominant with someone else? I know of many bi women who feel they can only dominate a woman, not a man.

The only partner I would have would be a submissive. Male or female.

 

[Naiser76]

ethereal~minx: I do communicate with my sub, which is the whole reason for this post and request. She has felt comfindent in me to tell me she feels like she feels guilty at times that she is not fulfilling her role to me as my sub. I have explained to her that she has performed exceptionally. I posted this looking for the experience and creativity of the Lit readers for any suggestions on how to further communicate this to her.

Shadowsdream: Maybe I choose a poor adjective with "fine". I am completely comfortable and happy with our current situation. Prior to her becoming my sub she already had her sub, and had only had experience as a Dom. She discovered after that she was a switch and enjoyed being a sub as well.

I encouraged her to keep her sub and always well. I full support her as a Dom as much as I enjoy her as my sub. She has expressed an interest in bring both of her sides together instead of having to split her time between the two of us. Hence why I posted here looking for advice or information on such a relationship, to see if there was a way to bring us together while still keeping the individual boundaries of all individuals intact.


I do appreciate the comments thus far. I hope I have explained the situation more clearly now.

 

[Shadowsdream]

ethereal~minx: I do communicate with my sub, which is the whole reason for this post and request. She has felt comfindent in me to tell me she feels like she feels guilty at times that she is not fulfilling her role to me as my sub. I have explained to her that she has performed exceptionally. I posted this looking for the experience and creativity of the Lit readers for any suggestions on how to further communicate this to her.

Shadowsdream: Maybe I choose a poor adjective with "fine". I am completely comfortable and happy with our current situation. Prior to her becoming my sub she already had her sub, and had only had experience as a Dom. She discovered after that she was a switch and enjoyed being a sub as well.

I encouraged her to keep her sub and always well. I full support her as a Dom as much as I enjoy her as my sub. She has expressed an interest in bring both of her sides together instead of having to split her time between the two of us. Hence why I posted here looking for advice or information on such a relationship, to see if there was a way to bring us together while still keeping the individual boundaries of all individuals intact.


I do appreciate the comments thus far. I hope I have explained the situation more clearly now.

Thank you for the clarification...sometimes word choices can cause misunderstandings ~~smile~~

 

[ethereal~minx]

I really want to understand and if I --if you want me to stop, just tell me

...your sub, that is the switch is wanting to bring both of you together (?) ..in what way?
does that mean physically? just intimately? (intimate to me is "into-me-see" and not in a physical sense but rather, building or growing or connecting hearts, so --this is what I'm thinking your sub is wanting especially if her sub is strictly lesbian & you're a man *smiling* ...a bond between you three that connects you all despite the physical --does that make any sense?

I understand the independence of each dynamic but to bring it all together, without crossing anyone's boundaries~ and for lasting enchantment *smiles* I would seek interconnectedness, interdependence (a deep bond/connection between the three minus the physical I guess)......and


*sighing* I know, kinda incomplete in my thoughts but --I'm trying

 

[Netzach]

Well, her guilt is her problem, I think. She acknowledges the boundaries of her partners' sexuality, I assume, rather than harboring some wistful assumption that it might change? If she wants to find a female to perform for you with, or please you with, she'll probably have to find a different one. Hell, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know....

Is her sub willing to get to know you, human-to-human? Go off and have a beer with you, shoot the shit? That might make her feel better about everyone's level of OK.

I have two bisexual males who don't have sexual contact with each other, simply because one does not trip the other's trigger. That means I have to divide my attentions. They are still very friendly with one another and have hung out without me there, too. It does make me feel good to know that they get along nicely.

 

[lark sparrow]

Are we assuming the assumed boundaries of her lesbian sub are the stem of the guilt and separation?

It seems that the "switch" to switching may also play a part in her comfort or guilt. It would seem a different ballgame to Domme your own sub one on one, than to sub to your Dom while Domming your submissive, or to sub to your Domme while she submits to her Dom - sexual orientation aside.

 

[asyouwish2]

asyouwish2

 

[boyb]

Good god!!!

If I was of limited intelligence, I'd not have a clue what you lot were just on about!!!

Being very new to thinking this way, and very new to properly exploring this side of me, I'm intrigued with all you say.

Some of the terminology of it all is still beyond me, but I'm getting there.

It's good to have this around to learn from!

Thanks.

 

[Etoile]

Why is that? Is it women are used to competing or figthing with other women? If they can Domme a woman. why not a man? The way society often paints women as victims of men, you'd think they be anxious to even the score.

I have no idea why. You'd have to ask them.

 

[Mr Blonde]

It seems that the "switch" to switching may also play a part in her comfort or guilt. It would seem a different ballgame to Domme your own sub one on one, than to sub to your Dom while Domming your submissive, or to sub to your Domme while she submits to her Dom - sexual orientation aside.

It is scary that I actually understand lark sparrow's point. Sorry, it is just written in a funny way.

I think Netzach had a good idea. Ask your sub to step aside for a bit, and just go befriend her submissive and get to know each other as human beings. No sex or BDSM, just as two friends who can play a game of Scrabble or something. Interesting question and it was nice to read the reactions.

 

[alonelygal]

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