Doggy Style Problem

[hatsoff]

A sort of odd situation happened to me recently. I have been with my new partner for almost four months and I slowly gotten her to become more adventurous, which she is also enjoying. However, one position that I personally seemed to be turned off by with her is doggy style. I've enjoyed it with other partners before but I seem to lose enthusiasm when I do it with her. I came up with a list of ideas that it might be (or combination of them) and would like some feedback on your thoughts.

1) I'm 6' and she's 5' 1". The height difference might be making it difficult for me to penetrate her properly. Might need advice to level up the thrusting maybe?

2) I think I might get turned off by seeing her face buried in the pillow, while I'm taking her from behind. It takes me 30-40 minutes to cum on average and that usually makes her change her positioning from all fours to putting her head on the pillow after about 10 minutes. Should I slow down in my thrusting, so she doesn't get tired out fast?

3) Probably the most selfish thought. She doesn't really show much enthusiasm, when I take her from behind. The only time I hear her moan or moving her body is while she is orgasming when in doggy style. I'm wondering a good way to let her know that I'd like her to have more energy, while we are doing this position. I want to keep it simple and not try to make it sound like I'm pissed at her or anything but still wanting to get the point across.

If anyone has any advice or has other ideas on what my problem is, I'd appreciate it. Take care. Btw we are both 23.

 

[CWatson]

...Problem? I see no problem.

Dude. There's nothing in the Book Of Sex Rules that says "You have to enjoy doggy-style." I mean, there is no Book Of Sex Rules. What you do in your bed with your girlfriend--and, for that matter, what you do not do--is your own damn business. Nobody has or should have the right to tell you that it's wrong.

So, if you don't enjoy it, don't do it. It's as simple as that.

 

[hatsoff]

Hehe sorry, I guess I should have been a bit more descriptive about why I think it's a problem. She is actually enjoying doggy style but I end up getting turned off by it. I have enjoyed this position with other women before, so I'm trying to figure out why I'm not turned on with it now. I don't want to just quit doing it because she actually suggests it when we have sex.

 

[tumbledown]

Honestly, leaning forward into the pillow after ten minutes on hands and knees supporting the weight of a tall male's thrusting against her doesn't sound like she's tiring out "so soon" at all. And/or, maybe she changes to that position because she likes that angle and it helps her orgasm.

Ask her about it. Could be you two just need to change position sooner. Could be that she gets still and quiet when she's getting close to orgasm and she's concentrating/lost in the sensation. You will only know if you ask her.

 

[Bengal52]

My girl and I have similar issues, doggie style just doesn't do it for me. In our case, its mostly because my legs are too short for it to work well. A height disparity can make some positions very difficult.

 

[Pentultimate]

Is there anything you can do to cum faster and reduce her discomfort? 30-40 minutes seems like a long time to wait to cum. I barely last 3 minutes when I'm behind my girl in doggy.

 

[hatsoff]

Ended up getting some great advice from some private messages. Thanks for the help everyone. Hopefully things will work out.

 

[In Anticipation]

Not sure that the height difference should be a problem. Have you tried standing with her kneeling on the bed? Depending on the angle of her legs, and maybe you bending yours too, you should be able to find some alignment.

So far as the 30-40 minutes goes, if I've kind of over peaked the one thing that will tip me over the edge is doggy . . .

 

[Texguy84]

If the problem is her getting tired, you might consider stacking some pillows under her, or even getting a special cushion just for that (they make them, kind of big wedge-shaped things for the girl to lean over)

 

[DormantEvil]

Go for a wedge cushion!

Get her up higher, get her face out of the pillow and give it a go.

Does she like it rough, or gentle. Have you tried mixing it up by getting her to orgasm a few times in other positions, before shifting. Or tease her so bad that she's more vocal with her enjoyment.

Or, the opposite, if she doesn't get vocal control why. See if she's mind some role play. A blindfold to start with, maybe a soft gag which is more for you than to muffle her. You might even enjoy some light bondage, use the cushion to imagine you've tossed her over the end of a couch (or use the end of a couch) and bind her hands gently behind her back.

Who knows, maybe she just needs to get a bit hotter, before she really works herself into a moaning orgasmic frenzy.

 

[colddiesel]

If anyone has any advice or has other ideas on what my problem is, I'd appreciate it. Take care. Btw we are both 23.

Yeah, talk to her about it, not to us!

and as a small exercise count the number of I's in your first post... You're too self absorbed, try putting her first.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Is there anything you can do to cum faster and reduce her discomfort? 30-40 minutes seems like a long time to wait to cum. I barely last 3 minutes when I'm behind my girl in doggy.

lol, no kidding. At best!

 

[warl0ck1]

I agree with the wedge makes a big difference at times. and I really don't see a problem with 30-40 min. also if you like to see her face try a mirror in front of her.

 

[CumInMeWife]

If you want her to be more vocal, try slapping her ass really hard and pulling her head back by her hair. That should get her talking.

 

[Eilan]

30-40 minutes of PIV sex with various position changes is great, but 30-40 minutes of doggy style only would be boring beyond belief. I'd probably bring the checkbook to bed with me so I could get some bills paid.

 

[ender1228]

You could have her lay flat on her stomach, then you get on top and fuck her from behind that way. Its still "doggy" in the sense of how it feels for her, but lots less stress on everyone's knees. She can push back into more sense she isnt fighting your weight. This would allow her to get more involved like you want.

 

[kdb]

Looking for a 2" diameter Dual action rabbit style vibrator

wrong thread

 

[albertaboy]

My girl and I have similar issues, doggie style just doesn't do it for me. In our case, its mostly because my legs are too short for it to work well. A height disparity can make some positions very difficult.

I have the opposite problem, I'm quite a bit taller than my wife and it is uncomfortable for me, but she loves it.

 

[unregistered]

 

[horsie_gurl]

If you want her to be more vocal, try slapping her ass really hard and pulling her head back by her hair. That should get her talking.

Okay so I was just reading through, about to give my own advice when i saw this. Uhm I would not suggest this unless you talk to her about it. This can piss someone off if they aren't into it. I actually never did it until I was with someone who practices BDSM and we talked about it prior to sex and he started off light. I can now take it more often, but it hurt and shocked me not in a good way the first time.

Back to the advice. I find that the angle makes it more pleasurable. Remaining in doggie with her head lower than her bum, you can intensify her pleasure and get deeper by squatting instead of kneeling. this can be very tiresome for you so be careful, but you get much deeper and might even go too deep depending on your girl.

Another suggestion is that she lay flat on the bed and you lay on top. Her legs closed and your legs on either side of hers. This will make her tighter if you enjoy that, and when you lay over her you can penetrate very deep. This also gives you the intimacy you say you don't have in doggy. you are now laying on top of her (depending on how much weight she can take you may be sorta holding yourself up so be careful here too, I can take all of his weight so he lays on top and it feels very close), if she rests her head on her crossed arms and you fold your arms around hers you are embraced and deep and no one is kneeling or straining (again depending on the weight factor).

 

[Ex Princess]

I, too, would be surprised if she's truly enjoying doggy for 30-40 minutes. That's a long time to stay in one position.

Also, um, if I'm ass up/face down and lean back into my husband, this is the quickest way to bring him to orgasm. It's a lot of fun for me. Reading a few guys comments in this thread (and other past threads), I'm thinking this is generally a position men enjoy; perhaps she's had this experience in the past and is moving to this position to please you. You've got to talk to her about it.

I get off the most in doggy style, but I have to be an active participant too. I usually have to grind my ass back into my man and he loves it.

Is it a turn off because she is not actively participating in any position? If she's a dead fish in bed, let her know! I'd encourage her to explore herself more and maybe climb on top for some of the time.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

It takes me 30-40 minutes to cum on average
She doesn't really show much enthusiasm

LOL, if it takes you 30 to 40 minutes to cum, I can imagine she isn't showing much enthusiasm. She is probably bored to tears.

 

[icandothis]

I Love Doggie

I don't think my SO used the doggy style very much before we got together, but because it was and is one of my favorite positions we use it quite often now. Some times I'm on my elbows and knees, sometimes flat on my stomach, sometimes I bend over the side of the bed (you know, knees on the floor, upper body on the bed). There are many different variations you can use if like us you enjoy doggy.

Sometimes during foreplay when my pussy lips are nice and wet and swollen, he likes me to get onto all fours (upper body down and ass up high) and present my ass to him like a bitch in heat does to the alpha dog. He loves the way my swollen pussy lips look when they are framed by my wet sticky thighs. It makes him crazy and always leads to some really, really fine sex!

Oh, and just one finally word . . . Dude, 30-40 minutes is way too long even in this position.

 

[HornyHenry]

So, how long does it take for HER to cum?

Not 30-40 minutes?
If you two can work harder on making HER cum, then you can change positions and do it some other way for you.

It sounds like she could be doing more to get involved in the fucking, not just lying there taking it and waiting? This would turn me off too. Ask her to move her hips, reach her hands back to touch you (or between her legs), play with herself while you are thrusting, etc. Do you caress her breasts? Kiss her neck?

I have had short GF's where I had to put their knees on a pillow and/or me stand on the floor while they were near the edge of the bed.

 

[AmandaJane]

30-40 minutes. Are you kidding me. Ouch!!! she is probably crying in the pillow thinking about how sore she is going to be tomorrow. The fact you stay erect for 40 minutes is impressive.