Dog Shoots Man!

[3113]

Really. From here:

It wasn't his dog's bark or bite that had a Brigham City man concerned, it was his aim. A man was recovering Wednesday after being shot over the weekend by his dog.

They're calling it a duck hunting accident, but I'm suspicious. I think they should question the neighborhood cats. I think they'll find out that the dog's been plotting this assassination attempt for a while....

 

[voluptuary_manque]

He left a loaded gun in a canoe with a bouncy dog. Obviously the dog was aiming for the guy's brain . . .

 

[jomar]

Turns out the dog's name is Cheney.

 

[TE999]

Deputy Fyfe ... um, I mean Potter ... said "It's not impossible for the dog to have taken the gun's safety off." Huh? What? How many dogs do you know that can use a shotgun? If that's what's protecting Brigham City, they're in serious trouble.

 

[R. Richard]

Question the neighborhood cats? What about presenting the dog's point of view. The dog is accused of taking the safety off for a shotgun. Is the dog's name Lassie? The release of a safety on a long gun, such as a shotgun, is usually a somewhat complicated procedure. The safety is located away from the trigger mechanism, so that an idiot can't release the safety and fire on one motion. (Pistols often have a 'butt safety' that allows firing when the grip is held in the shooter's hand. Not so with a shotgun.) Was the dog being fed cheap dog food? (You eat duck, I eat 'El Cheapo?' Take this, you cheap bastard.) Maybe the dog was mistreated as a puppy. (My mother favored the other puppies over me. Then she arranged for me to be sold, sold! to a cheapo owner. Mama was a bitch.) Once I figure out how to aim a shotgun, I'm gonna shoot AND EAT my own ducks. Fuck you!

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I can see a Rottweiler using that defense and possibly a Chesapeake. A Lab? I dunno and no Golden would ever even think along such lines. But if the guy was using a Chessie, he had it coming!

 

[jomar]

Question the neighborhood cats? What about presenting the dog's point of view. The dog is accused of taking the safety off for a shotgun. Is the dog's name Lassie? The release of a safety on a long gun, such as a shotgun, is usually a somewhat complicated procedure. The safety is located away from the trigger mechanism, so that an idiot can't release the safety and fire on one motion. (Pistols often have a 'butt safety' that allows firing when the grip is held in the shooter's hand. Not so with a shotgun.) Was the dog being fed cheap dog food? (You eat duck, I eat 'El Cheapo?' Take this, you cheap bastard.) Maybe the dog was mistreated as a puppy. (My mother favored the other puppies over me. Then she arranged for me to be sold, sold! to a cheapo owner. Mama was a bitch.) Once I figure out how to aim a shotgun, I'm gonna shoot AND EAT my own ducks. Fuck you!

Jeez, are you drunk? No wonder you can puke out a bunch of e-novels.

 

[R. Richard]

Jeez, are you drunk? No wonder you can puke out a bunch of e-novels.

No, I'm not drunk. I responded to a post by 3113, in the same general tone.

As to my e-novel, perhaps you should try reading one of them to find out what my writing style is really about. Check me out at Club Lighthouse Publishing.

 

[Handley_Page]

"(The dog) did something to make the gun discharge," Potter said. "I don't know if the safety device was on. It's not impossible the dog could have taken it off safety."


Blokes like this do not deserve to own a gun.
Safety is not his top priority, is it.

 

[jomar]

No, I'm not drunk. I responded to a post by 3113, in the same general tone.

As to my e-novel, perhaps you should try reading one of them to find out what my writing style is really about. Check me out at Club Lighthouse Publishing.

Just messing...no offense I hope.

Might just do that.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I say it’s a frame up.

Two men were duck hunting. One got out of the boat to either pick up or put out decoys, whichever is immaterial because details don’t matter in a case like this.

He left the other man in the boat with the guns and the dog. His gun goes off, peppering the first man’s backside.

Naturally, Sheriff Potter accepts their word that “the dog must-a done it.” He is even willing to suspend disbelief far enough to postulating that the dog first took off the safety.

A back country Utah Sheriff could never suspect duck hunting as a likely activity for a gay date. He could not suspect it might be a tryst gone wrong. It’s much easier to believe that a dog removed the safety on a shotgun and peppered his owner's keister.

If Sheriff Potter were able to solve this case, he would have to start questioning all that male bonding that he and his buddies have been up to all their lives.

 

[PayDay]

I'm still laughing.

Question the neighborhood cats? What about presenting the dog's point of view. The dog is accused of taking the safety off for a shotgun. Is the dog's name Lassie? The release of a safety on a long gun, such as a shotgun, is usually a somewhat complicated procedure. The safety is located away from the trigger mechanism, so that an idiot can't release the safety and fire on one motion. (Pistols often have a 'butt safety' that allows firing when the grip is held in the shooter's hand. Not so with a shotgun.) Was the dog being fed cheap dog food? (You eat duck, I eat 'El Cheapo?' Take this, you cheap bastard.) Maybe the dog was mistreated as a puppy. (My mother favored the other puppies over me. Then she arranged for me to be sold, sold! to a cheapo owner. Mama was a bitch.) Once I figure out how to aim a shotgun, I'm gonna shoot AND EAT my own ducks. Fuck you!

That's some pro response right there.------^

It was so good, it killed any jokes I could throw in.

Seriously, a safety is there for a reason. For instance: jumping dogs or idiot sheriffs or hunters laying their guns down to drag a boat through a swamp.

 

[Handley_Page]

Was the dog being fed cheap dog food? (You eat duck, I eat 'El Cheapo?'
Take this, you cheap bastard.) Maybe the dog was mistreated as a puppy.
(My mother favored the other puppies over me. Then she arranged for me to be sold, sold! to a cheapo owner. Mama was a bitch.)
Once I figure out how to aim a shotgun, I'm gonna shoot AND EAT my own ducks. Fuck you!

OH the joys of modern society.
It's a sad reflection upon the legal profession.

 

[3113]

If Sheriff Potter were able to solve this case, he would have to start questioning all that male bonding that he and his buddies have been up to all their lives.

By George, I think you've got something here. Now the only question is, which detective should be on hand to solve this for the bumbling Potter? Is this an erotic "Murder She Wrote" or should we go for "House" as the doctor at hand removing the buckshot?

 

[PayDay]

I can't believe you asked this.

By George, I think you've got something here. Now the only question is, which detective should be on hand to solve this for the bumbling Potter? Is this an erotic "Murder She Wrote" or should we go for "House" as the doctor at hand removing the buckshot?

Matlock or GTFO.