Does your family know? Friends?

[TaffyJ]

Would everyone write erotica if they could? Or are we kind of freaky for doing it? How would society look upon us if everyone knew the sublimely dirty little plots our minds create? Would family and friends shun us? Or would they accept our hobby, understanding it as a way of expressing human nature?

I assume many of our spouses and SOs know what we do, but what about the rest of our family? Coworkers? Friends?

Do they know what you do and shun you for it?

Do they know and accept it?

Do they not know, but it wouldn't bother you if they did?

Do they not know, and you live in fear of them finding out?

 

[Ms.M]

My boyfriend knows, i started by writing him e-mails to brighten his day....As for friends, a couple know, they just shake there heads and say "it figures".


So i guess my answer would be...
Friends know and they already think i'm a pervert!!!

 

[Star of Penumbra]

My family may suspect I write erotica (at least, I used to), but I doubt they know for sure, since I never give my real name online, plus all the writing I have on my computer is password protected. But even if they did know, I don't think they'd care.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

Hmmm....

the majority of my friends in nyc are people from lit, so yeah, they know. the rest of my friends are aware, but I don't know if they've read it or not...they haven't brought it up.

 

[Pookie]

My fiancee and a few very close people know about my writing. However, because of the nature of my stories, I don't care to advertise my writing to most of the people I know. Those that know seem to accept what I do without a problem. If others found out, it would not bother me but I still won't advertise it.

Of those who know, they all think I'm a pervert. But they thought that before I started writing.

 

[Master_Vassago]

Hmmm yes wife knows and once she found out and started reading well let's just say it gave a renewed spark to that time after the kids go to bed.

A few friends know, and they aren't surprised at all, I am after all one of the biggest perves in our group.

Family, hehe well they know just havent had a chance to venture hear yet, but I'm sure they will.

 

[kristydoll]

My family (parents) and friends are aware that I write Erotica - both here for the web and the novel I am working on. They have all been very supportive. Along with the genre of my writing, I am also very open about the lifestyle I live - meaning again, my parents and friends all know.

My kids are only aware that I write.

kristy

 

[its Leslie]

Mentioned to my mom that I had written a few stories, and she as much as spit on my efforts. Thanks mom for being so illustrative of what's wrong with society.

So I said fuck it, let those that read erotica be the ones that know of my erotica.

I sure don't need to encourage the small minds of society, to tell me for additionally reasons why they disagree with how I see life eh.

Would have liked to vote both first choice as well as third choice, but I chose third choice.

I have not told anyone else, because there is no gain in it for me.

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

My husband, a select few of my in-laws, my sister and a couple of my friends know. All but my sister think it's great. They ask for any new stories I've done since we last saw each other when ever we get together. I don't think they think I'm a perv cause then that would mean they are too for asking for them LOL. If my parents ever found out it would be through looking at sites like this so if they said anything negative I'd have to say "well, what were you doing at that site if it's so bad". Plus, I write under wicked-n-erotic always, so they wouldn't know it was me unless they looked at my profile pic and then of course I'd catch a bucket load of shit for a pic like that being on the web.
In all most people I know and associate with have the same interest I do so they wouldn't shun me.
Wicked

My Stories

 

[BigTexan]

My wife knows, but choses to ignore it. She is the only "family or friends" that know.

While she choses to ignore my erotic writing she is fairly supportive of my "mainstream" writing. Most of my family are too.

BigTexan

 

[sirhugs]

My wife knows I read it. My kids are too young. If my wife read what I write, who knows how she'd react. I don't like my family, so who cares about them. "Social circle"? whats that?

 

[wildsweetone]

I am not 'out' yet as a Lit writer amongst my family. My immediate family knows I write fiction (not erotica though).

daughter once said to her friend "yep mum drew that, now she's a wannabe writer." hubby used to think my writing was a joke, so i've learnt to show him nothing of what i do. his loss.

 

[TheEarl]

Hell no. It would seriously shock people to know that I was writing this kind of stuff. There'd be several calls of pervert, a few of "wasting your talent" (talent?) and general ostracism outside of my own family, who I like to think would freak and then understand.

However that is a worst case scenario and I like to keep that running through my head whenever I get close to telling someone. They might not care, they might be interested, but I don't want to run the risk.

I want to quote part of a Christopher Brookmyre novel: Not the End of the World. The character Madeleine is the daughter of a US senator who sexually-abused her when she was younger. After a couple of attemtped suicides (This is all backstory), she decides to secretly become a porn actress after seeing an ad in a magazine, taking on the pseudonym Katy Koxx (More to it than that, but this is abridged):

In a way it was an extreme form of role-playing therapy, stepping outside of herself to become this voraciously sexual person, confident, in control, getting what she wanted. She finally understood what people meant by the term 'abandon.' When she was being Katy Koxx she was abandoning everything about Madeleine Witherson, existing without the constraints of fear and worry for a while. And when she returned to being Madeleine Witherson, she brought a little more of Katy Koxx back with her each time.

***

It was like having a secret lover, she had this other life, this other self that nobody knew about and the thought of it was a constant thrill. While she was in familiar company, she got off on thinking how surprised they would be if they knew. The paradox was that the longer she was a porn actress, the more the public Madeleine changed into someone they'd be less surprised to learn that about.

That passage sums up me and my alter-ego superbly. The most emotive bit of writing I've read in a long while.

The Earl

 

[cherrylips_au]

My husband and sister know about my stories here.

I have been tempted to tell friends but have resisted so far.

My parents would never understand and the rest of the family would think I was a bit perverted.

Online friends have been supportive even though I have shocked a few of them.

In some ways I would like everyone to know as it is part of who I am yet in other ways sometimes it's good to keep things hidden.
If some of my friends read my stories I'm not sure how they would react.

 

[M.A.Thompson]

TaffyJ, there must be some sort of psychic aura between us because I swear I came to the boards tonight with the intention of posting this same exact question. Weird!

My wife has known from the start but she just chalks it up as another one of the unusual things I do. My stories amuse her. My children are far too young however I often think about if I would share this side of their dad with them when they are older. I suppose that will be decided by what type of adults they grow into.

I have shared my non-erotic stories with my parents and sister which I post on another website for that purpose. I doubt I would share my Lit stories with them as one is based on a dream I had about my dad’s girlfriend. That would be quite embarrassing.

Because I wanted some proofreaders, I shared my hobby with a few trusted co-workers and due to the great response I received from them, I share with a few more. As you know the three major forms of mass communication are telephone, television and tell-a-co-worker; so needless to say, there are now few people at work who do not know. But I don’t really mind.

For some reason I have yet to share my writing with my close friends, few as they are. I think I like the idea that I have this secret life they know nothing about. Maybe one day when I’m drunk I’ll confess.

 

[The_old_man]

My wife knows, she proof-reads all my stuff. She has also started writing some of her own as "The-oldmans-wife"

The kids all live some distance from us, don't think they know.

 

[damppanties]

No one in the family knows. My parents would die of shock if they knew. My brother wouldn't talk to me the rest of my life.

They know I write. They don't know what I write. I've shown them some non-erotic stuff I wrote but I didn't get anything more than a 'hmmm' so stopped showing them.

A couple of online friends know and they're okay about it. One even loves me for it.

 

[TaffyJ]

I forgot to add my personal input!

First, M.A., Wow! I can only say I've seen a lot of posts here that I've thought illustrated my feelings exactly. I'm glad I beat you to it, though, because I don't think I've ever started a thread and you would have taken my topic. I forgot to mention my own input, because I was busy figuring out exactly how to post a poll.

I have one cousin who knows, but he's a perv anyway. I took a chance and told my sister in law, because I've caught a hint that she's into this kind of thing, too. She loved it. My mom reads romance novels, as I do. But I don't think she's ready for this. I've told both her and dad I write and post on a website, but they're not computer literate, so I don't have much fear there. If I actually told them which website, they'd probably find a way to access it just out of curiosity. I'd be mortified for them to read it, because the only 2 stories I have posted are in the incest category. I DO NOT want them thinking I've got a thing for my brother. The idea turns my stomach. Most readers seem to assume that I'm into incest in the real world, just because I have written fiction on that topic.

I was wondering about this because I am hoping to put a pic of me as my av. But the double blackmail thing applies. Like mentioned above: Well, if you think it's so disgusting, what were you doing at the website, and who are you to judge me?

Like most of you, my spouse knows, and he proofreads for me. My children are far too young. Not that I'd feel comfy with them reading it if they weren't.

Earl, I feel that way, too. It's like wearing sexy lingere (sp?) under your work clothes.

There's one person I'd love to tell about my erotica, just for shock value. He's a gorgeous, sexy young thing, but a bit of a prude. The results of such a revelation would be negative, and I've got to hang around this guy for the rest of my life, so I'm smart enough to not go there. But it's tempting sometimes.

Thanks so much for the input, y'all. It's always nice to know I'm not the only one.

 

[Sabledrake]

Should have had a "they know, and they approve/support you/foam at the mouth for more" option

My family, friends, and indeed most of my co-workers know. They seem to like teasing me about it. And heck, it was my own mother who told me, upon hearing that I'd written a book, that she didn't want to read it unless it had "throbbing loins."

As the twig is bent, so the tree is shaped ...

Sabledrake

 

[flawed_ethics]

I'm just like damppanties. My family is aware that I write on occassion. They're not aware I dabble in erotica too. A part of the reaon I don't tell them though is that my mom is also a writer, and during divorce preceedings some time ago my dad used it against her citing the stories (including incest) and whatnot that she wrote up.

So my dad would kill me. My brothers and sisters would severely distance themselves from me. My mom would be indifferent though. Thing is, if she knew I wrote here, I could be in a thread talking about anal sex, bukkake or something and then be like, "Oh, hi mom!"

(Insert akward-confused smiley face here)

 

[Chicklet]

my mommy reads all my stuff, to my dismay. she doesn't know about the nude pics of me online, but the erotica makes her laugh. every once in a while i get a strange feedback mail saying something like "that's my girl!"

creeeepy.

Chicklet

 

[Eldridge]

Nope, nobody knows yet. I'm kind of halfway in between telling my wife and seeing what she says, and just letting it be a secret for awhile until such a time as I've finally gotten around to actually getting some work done on my non-erotic fiction.

I guess I'm a bit worried that she'll say I shouldn't be wasting my time writing this stuff when I could be writing 'serious' things.

Then again, who knows, perhaps she'll enjoy these stories.

Ahhh the intricacies of marriage.

Eldridge.

 

[Vincent E]

If I wanted anyone to know that I wrote this stuff I would have used my real name: Alan Smithee.

 

[Justin_Thyme]

My wife knows and aint happy! Now she simply ignors the time I spend writing but I know that when the time's right, the subject will come back into the conversation.
Her reaction pretty much convinced me to keep news of my wondrous ability to write close to home.
I think my wife is bothered more by the genre most of my posted stories were written in rather than that I write erotica at all but that's just a guess. Whatever, because of the way she reacted to my first story, I haven't made others available and she hasn't asked to see them.
Wish she were more supportive because I seriously need someone other than myself to help with proofreading!

JT

 

[TheEarl]

Earl, I feel that way, too. It's like wearing sexy lingere (sp?) under your work clothes.

Well to be honest, I've never worn sexy lingere under my work clothes...

Then again, I'm wearing a red checked gingham dress. And army boots. Who am I to discern?

If you don't watch Red Dwarf, then don't try to understand that joke. Chicklet'll understand.

The Earl