Does jealousy turn you on?

[Marquis]

I find that a lot of negative emotions can serve as aphrodisiacs for me, jealousy being a prime culprit.

Anyone else experience this?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hard to say as it depends on the circumstances and mood of the moment. Have to admit there is a deep dark fantasy in there of going to that green place when he is using another woman, but having to deal with it. It is complicated, and we discuss it, and will perhaps use it for both our needs at some point, but like most things it needs careful consideration, and more so understanding, in order to protect the relationship. I tend to think it ties into my masochistic desires more so than straight out jealousy though.

Catalina

 

[Marquis]

Yes, I think there may be a masochistic element in it for me as well. Not something I'm used to dealing with.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Yes, I think there may be a masochistic element in it for me as well. Not something I'm used to dealing with.

Is fascinating when you begin to let yourself sink into its depravity and enjoy even the misery. ....but also can complicate matters a lot.

Catalina

 

[Slutacus]

I find that a lot of negative emotions can serve as aphrodisiacs for me, jealousy being a prime culprit.

Anyone else experience this?

That's quite odd, Marquis. I have never felt this. What do you think of when jealousy turns you on? Do you think of wresting the woman away from your competition or maybe punishing her for liking someone else?

I don't feel jealousy very often. My primary relationships have alll been with men that were non-monagamous in various ways. I was confident in myself and in my place in their lives however, and didn't mind it, unless they did something really ugly and tacky, like give their new love some special piece of jewelry they'd once made for me (yes my own jewelry, not a new piece that looked like it!) or cut me out of their lives completely in order to explore a fresh fuck.

But when I do feel that emotion, it makes me feel very sad and also makes me want to retreat, because I always assume I'll lose any competition, not because of low-self-worth, but because I am not agressively competitive in love: in fact, I find that so distateful that I would rather have nothing or no one. It's much easier for me just to let the other person have what they think they want so badly and go find someone that nobody else is competing for.

Yeah, jealousy is a pretty strong turn-off for me. I have three sisters, very close to me in age. I am the oldest but I am also the shyest and most socially awkward, and when we were adolescents and young adults my sisters did a lot of man-stealing from me. That very hurtful backstabbing background probably has something to do with why I'd rather just go away than compete these days.

Other negative emotions aren't always turn-offs, though. Hurt feelings are frequently an aphrodisiac for me (as long as they aren't about jealousy or another woman) because they excite my emotional masochism.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Nothing brings out the competitive side of me more than that of the green eyed monster. The thought of my man using another fires my blood and elicits the passion to prove my worth. Any such passion I find arousing. Simply stated competition arouses me.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I like the idea of masochistically forcing myself to watch an SO orally service another; enjoying both the pain and the feeling that I'm a psychic tough guy and can take any punishment-then beating her within an inch of her life to teach her a lesson, the dirty hoor.

 

[phoenixstone]

Hey Marquis and Roscoe!

Had to log in with slightly diff version of old name, as I forgot my old password, so no kitty pic or quote yet, but it's still me, if any of you all remember. Don't mean to hi-jack the thread...

Jealousy I use as a fantasy tool, but the real thing? Nooooo....

(See, a comment! Not just being bratty. Yet....)

 

[Marquis]

Had to log in with slightly diff version of old name, as I forgot my old password, so no kitty pic or quote yet, but it's still me, if any of you all remember. Don't mean to hi-jack the thread...

Jealousy I use as a fantasy tool, but the real thing? Nooooo....

(See, a comment! Not just being bratty. Yet....)

Welcome!

 

[Caitlynne]

I tend to think it ties into my masochistic desires more so than straight out jealousy though.

I agree with this. I'm not a jealous type per se, but I do encounter strong feelings that resemble jealousy, but are really motivated by my need to suffer.

Also, when the moment of quasi-jealousy is gone, and the suffering is over, I am fine. Real jealousy operates somewhat differently. It has a different need at its foundation. Jealousy is a fear of rivals taking away a desirable mate [or anything really]. The need it requires is exclusivity and/or reassurance.

But that's not my need when I feel the emotions that resemble jealousy. I need to show my Dom that it is affecting me, that I am suffering. It's a reaction I'm revealing, more than a need for reassurance. I'm intimately aware, that when it occurs, it is my own desire to suffer.

When confronted in my life with the REAL possibility that a mate is leaving me for someone else, I am never jealous, I let him go. I'm aware that no amount of begging, or talking, or anything can change a man's mind about leaving. But then accepting his decision if he leaves, is also part of suffering for me.

As a note: I've been in one rather successful poly relationship, so my take on jealousy might be different than another's. It was not jealously that ended the relationship. It ended for other reasons. I learned in that relationship [one Dom/2 slaves] that I don't really have many of the standard jealousy issues. I have issues, just not those.

Once I learned that about myself, when the strong emotions came up that 'felt' like jealousy, I was able to look at them from another POV. That's when I discovered, I just like to suffer in some dramatic ways.

 

[FurryFury]

Jealousy and the accompanying feeling of insecurity has lead to some GREAT and strange sex over the years for me. It's been a long time since I've been jealous but it makes me try harder and that can be a very good, hot thang.

Fury

 

[caela]

I find that a lot of negative emotions can serve as aphrodisiacs for me, jealousy being a prime culprit.

Anyone else experience this?

For me small doses of jealousy can be an aphrodisiac in the short term. Like more than one person has said it can make me try harder to please my SO and give my passions a boost. If however the SO make it a habit of putting me in situations that spur my jealousy it leaves me feeling insecure and very, very angry which is a total turn off and gauranteed to send me walking out the door.

 

[jadefirefly]

Plain and simple, yes.

I think one of the above posters said it best, it brings out my competitive side, and at the same time reminds me that in order to be jealous, I have to feel strongly about someone.

It makes for interesting encounters after the jealousy-inducing incident.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Had to log in with slightly diff version of old name, as I forgot my old password, so no kitty pic or quote yet, but it's still me, if any of you all remember. Don't mean to hi-jack the thread...

Jealousy I use as a fantasy tool, but the real thing? Nooooo....

(See, a comment! Not just being bratty. Yet....)

Welcome back...long time, no see!!

Catalina

 

[Betticus]

Is fascinating when you begin to let yourself sink into its depravity and enjoy even the misery. ....but also can complicate matters a lot.

Catalina

I breathe, I feel my teeth. I feel my body getting hard and fast. I see the other man and I hate him. There is no sympathy. This is my Dominant and when that motherfucker comes out in full play everyone needs to step the fuck back and watch me happen.

There isn't any nice shit happening when someone steps up to my plate. 100% USDA Grade A like you have never seen before. I have hard for your soft!

 

[Betticus]

That's quite odd, Marquis. I have never felt this. What do you think of when jealousy turns you on? Do you think of wresting the woman away from your competition or maybe punishing her for liking someone else?

I don't feel jealousy very often. My primary relationships have alll been with men that were non-monagamous in various ways. I was confident in myself and in my place in their lives however, and didn't mind it, unless they did something really ugly and tacky, like give their new love some special piece of jewelry they'd once made for me (yes my own jewelry, not a new piece that looked like it!) or cut me out of their lives completely in order to explore a fresh fuck.

But when I do feel that emotion, it makes me feel very sad and also makes me want to retreat, because I always assume I'll lose any competition, not because of low-self-worth, but because I am not agressively competitive in love: in fact, I find that so distateful that I would rather have nothing or no one. It's much easier for me just to let the other person have what they think they want so badly and go find someone that nobody else is competing for.

Yeah, jealousy is a pretty strong turn-off for me. I have three sisters, very close to me in age. I am the oldest but I am also the shyest and most socially awkward, and when we were adolescents and young adults my sisters did a lot of man-stealing from me. That very hurtful backstabbing background probably has something to do with why I'd rather just go away than compete these days.

Other negative emotions aren't always turn-offs, though. Hurt feelings are frequently an aphrodisiac for me (as long as they aren't about jealousy or another woman) because they excite my emotional masochism.

For me it's something different. He may think he is the shit, the newest flavor on the block but in the end he's my bitch. He has to pay in some way to even think that he has what it takes to play on my field! He may fuck my bitch, he has to taste my pain though and when I lay out my Alpha on that punk he's going to burn! I'm not done, ever! Put your game in my hands and I will twist and break you. There is a dominant male out there that is going to learn to love the taste of the dirt I will grind that bitch into.

 

[sincerely_helene]

I find that a lot of negative emotions can serve as aphrodisiacs for me, jealousy being a prime culprit.

Anyone else experience this?

I know what you are trying to do here. Pretty sneaky way to form a harem, Marquis.

 

[shy slave]

Had to log in with slightly diff version of old name, as I forgot my old password, so no kitty pic or quote yet, but it's still me, if any of you all remember. Don't mean to hi-jack the thread...

Jealousy I use as a fantasy tool, but the real thing? Nooooo....

(See, a comment! Not just being bratty. Yet....)

*very small hijack, sorry marquis*
Hey!
Is it really you??

Where have you been hiding all these months??

We missed you, loads has happened since you have been gone, its so good your back

 

[shy slave]

Jealousy does not turn me on,

For me, its like a disease. I hate being jealous but I can't help it. He and I have talked about it alot but everytime I think someone could possibly be interested I become irrational and angry (ok, I am often irational, so I get even more so plus angry).

I wish I could get turned on by it, but instead I see kill notices appear in my eyes.

An issue I have to work on, as he does not view it as an attractive quality

 

[rosco rathbone]

I find strong jealousy in females to be an extremely irritating trait. Jealous possessive females and I will not get along well.

 

[alice_underneath]

I hate being jealous but I can't help it. He and I have talked about it alot but everytime I think someone could possibly be interested I become irrational and angry (ok, I am often irational, so I get even more so plus angry).

Looking back over my years of dating and marriage, there have been many times when other women were interested in my SO. This, all by itself, would not make me jealous. (In a way, it's very flattering, right?)

If the other woman learns that my SO is attached, and backs off immediately, I would think two things. First, she has good taste and second, I admire and appreciate her for respecting the relationship between myself and my SO.

On the other hand, if the woman continues heavy flirting and/or actively pursuing my SO, I will view her as a predatory female for whom I have little or no respect.

Whether or not I feel jealous, however, depends on what my SO does in response to the other woman's interest. (In other words, she can't make me feel jealous, but he sure could.)

If he rejects her advances, reaffirming his commitment to me in the process, this will be a very powerful aphrodisiac.

However, if he responds to her with heavy flirting (or more), just the opposite will be true. Jealousy and resentment will have a very strong, negative impact on my level of arousal. If sustained, these feelings will destroy my emotional attachment to him as well.

Alice

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Jealousy isn't a turn-on, ever. Long ago, i got jealous of the individuals with wives that drifted in here looking for a way to get their clueless husbands to put their burners on high. Now, i just laugh at them for not getting past igniting the pilot light.

The only person for whom i hold any jealousy can be found here.

 

[FurryFury]

Jealousy isn't a turn-on, ever. Long ago, i got jealous of the individuals with wives that drifted in here looking for a way to get their clueless husbands to put their burners on high. Now, i just laugh at them for not getting past igniting the pilot light.

The only person for whom i hold any jealousy can be found here.

I don't see why. I mean I love a good ass fucking but hmm, am I missing something? I must be.

Perhaps you'd care to elucidate?

Fury

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I don't see why. I mean I love a good ass fucking but hmm, am I missing something? I must be.

Perhaps you'd care to elucidate?

Fury

Pay closer attention to the legs of the individual on the bottom and the timbre of her voice.

Now ask yourself, "when was the last time my partner tried to drive me through the mattress while fucking my ass?"

 

[FurryFury]

Pay closer attention to the legs of the individual on the bottom and the timbre of her voice.

Now ask yourself, "when was the last time my partner tried to drive me through the mattress while fucking my ass?"

Ah sound! Yes, I keep sound off. Hmm. I'll have to check that out. I do know the answer to your question though.

Thanks for elaborating!

Fury