Does it take me too long to cum?

[Cirrus]

OK, I need averages here. I was reading the "How Long Do You Masturbate For" thread and it got me to wondering. Not to mention I was with the man last night and he kind of brought it up too. His timing is impeccible (sp?).

It's always taken me pretty much forever to get off. I always can by myself, not always with a partner. It takes me 20 minutes minimum, regardless of what I'm watching/reading, how long it's been since the last time I had an orgasm, what my partner is doing...forever.

My guy and I haven't had sex yet but we've done pretty much everything else. He's the first one I've been with in a looooong time, and I haven't yet been able to have an orgasm with him. It's not his technique, trust me on this one guys. He's patient and understanding, and he's a considerate lover, but he wants to know if there's something he could do better. You'd think it would take less time, if anything. After all, it feels better when he touches my breast, for instance, than when I do. You would think the "outside energy" would have something to do with it.

So...I read accounts of these women being able to get off in like 2 minutes and I'm jealous. Am I the exception or the rule?

 

[hornylady]

Depends on the woman I'm like you, though; takes me a long time to get going, however turned on I am, and I find it hard to relax enough to orgasm, but easy to start worrying that it's taking too long.......which more or less guarantees that I won't I'm going to keep coming back here to see what others post - maybe I'll learn something useful

 

[Cirrus]

Can't hurt, right?

I'd say my "troubles" with the new guy are just that...because he's new. But then why the hell does it take me so long when I'm by myself? And I could never, ever begin to DREAM about having a multiple orgasm. Once and I'm done for the rest of the day.

 

[Marxist]

Alcohol, medication, sexual history, and most importantly practice can make a huge difference.

Do you own a rabbit style vibrator or have you ridden a Sybian? Both could help you discover what works.

 

[YogiBare]

Everybody's sexuality is different.

Explore, and enjoy yours.

Do you need to build more trust with this guy, to be able to relax more?

 

[Cirrus]

Just relax, mostly, and get used to him if you know what I mean. There's a certain rush about having sex or just doing sexual things with a new partner, but it doesn't beat the comfort of someone you've been with for a while. At lesat not for me. I'm sure when/if we're together for a while and learn each other's bods and preferences things will go more smoothly.

You know...now that I think about it, it took me less time to reach orgasm when I was younger...around 14 or so. I'm...well, I'm no longer 14.

 

[Rambrat]

OK, I need averages here. I was reading the "How Long Do You Masturbate For" thread and it got me to wondering. Not to mention I was with the man last night and he kind of brought it up too. His timing is impeccible (sp?).

It's always taken me pretty much forever to get off. I always can by myself, not always with a partner. It takes me 20 minutes minimum, regardless of what I'm watching/reading, how long it's been since the last time I had an orgasm, what my partner is doing...forever.

So...I read accounts of these women being able to get off in like 2 minutes and I'm jealous. Am I the exception or the rule?

Yes...you're just going to have to give it up...lol!

with the patience, eventually you'll orgasm sooner...once you get past that mental block...the one where you worry about it and your mind wanders...

I once spent 45 minutes straight trying to bring someone to orgasm before she told me that she never had one with intercourse...NEVER!

Guess what...eventually it happened because I made her feel as if she didn't have to worry about it. It was tough...but I made it a quest....

 

[sabbathstorm]

It takes me a long time to orgasm from intercourse. Sometimes it can take close to an hour so we mix it up a little: some oral, masturbation, etc. Oral sex I can orgasm from fairly easily Masturbation takes no time at all if I've got the right imagery in my head.

 

[juicylips]

Re: Re: Does it take me too long to cum?

I once spent 45 minutes straight trying to bring someone to orgasm before she told me that she never had one with intercourse...NEVER!

Guess what...eventually it happened because I made her feel as if she didn't have to worry about it. It was tough...but I made it a quest....

Shhhhhh....that was suppose to be private!!!! *SMACK*

Seriously, Cirrus...I'm the wrong person to ask. I cum very quickly. My motor is never in "park"
JL

 

[RawHumor]

Darling, you just have to be with a REAL man...

Just kidding. I figure that's the kinda thing that SOME idiot would say, so why not be that idiot, right?

Seriously, you're not a freak. Averages would be tough to come by unless you wrote to a serious sex therapist or someone like that.

 

[brokenbrainwave]

look at it this way, if he is patient enough to lead you to the promised land, thats just longer spent in the saddle

 

[Ladybird]

I find the more excited I am the longer it takes me to orgasm.

But then, the rest follow very quickly. It's just the first that can take time.

 

[Rambrat]

Re: Re: Re: Does it take me too long to cum?

Shhhhhh....that was suppose to be private!!!! *SMACK*

Seriously, Cirrus...I'm the wrong person to ask. I cum very quickly. My motor is never in "park"
JL

Sorry darling...i was trying to help her...

 

[Rambrat]

Darling, you just have to be with a REAL man...

Just kidding. I figure that's the kinda thing that SOME idiot would say, so why not be that idiot, right?

Seriously, you're not a freak. Averages would be tough to come by unless you wrote to a serious sex therapist or someone like that.

you need help Raw...that's all I'm saying...you need help...

 

[RawHumor]

you need help Raw...that's all I'm saying...you need help...

LOL What? My last paragraph was actually serious and semi-helpful.

 

[Rambrat]

LOL What? My last paragraph was actually serious and semi-helpful.

LOL...she asked if she was an exception...not a freak...


just sounds funny coming from you....

 

[alexandraaah]

Do you have any reservations about sex/sexual intimacy?

I think Marxist is right (don't quote me on that, I might deny it later), there are lots of issues to think about.

It's not necessarily bad, but it's worth exploring as a symptom of something else that could be going on.

 

[RawHumor]

LOL...she asked if she was an exception...not a freak...

just sounds funny coming from you....

Hmmmm.... must be the AV.

 

[Jewelz]

umm, it takes me a long time to orgasm with intercourse. but masturbation and oral is very easy and very fast.

 

[Dhalgren]

Sounds like you've got a patient and thoughtful lover, Cirrus.
~smiles~

I think one of the best ways to head towards a fast orgasm with a partner; is to masturbate your clit while he is..um..fucking you.

On your knees, with him behind you..is very effective because you have clear access to your clit…and while in that position, his penis will happily motivate your G spot.

You can actually achieve "both" kinds of orgasm this way...

Two for the price of One.

 

[cyn1959]

Jeeze, it used to take me forever to cum and I was convinced I was frigid or whatever word used nowadays...then someone told me that for women sex is 95% in the head, as we have responses and any stress at all, worry about the pimple on your ass, whatever, can make it even more difficult....

I have always cum very fast and hard and more than once a day when younger. Then I started taking fucking Prozac and it just shut me down. Now I've cut back and am a virtual sex fiend I can't stop fucking and masterbating.....

looking at porn helps, run a porn movie while you're fucking.

hope this helps....oh and phone sex is just great as it takes and fills your mind so well with imagination and fantasy...I cum like a wild woman on phone with men....

Zane

 

[Liontamr]

It's not the length of the trip or that you even get to where you are going, but how enjoyable it is overall...

Just focus on that part of masturbation / sex and the rest will.. *ahem* cum.

And no, you're not alone in taking forever.. Pretty normal I'd say in fact.