Does it really exist?

[anotherguyfromsweden]

Ok, this might sound stupid, but I'm new to all this, so I don't know better. I'm simply wondering: does it exist? I mean I've met a lot of women but none of them would (I'm pretty sure) put their life in the hands of someone else. Are there actually women out there who do? I mean really, not just as a game that you can end at any moment. Women who actually feel sorry when they've upset their master/mistress, honestly sorry, do they exist?

If they do I'd like sure to meet them.

//AGfS

 

[Shadowsdream]

Ok, this might sound stupid, but I'm new to all this, so I don't know better. I'm simply wondering: does it exist? I mean I've met a lot of women but none of them would (I'm pretty sure) put their life in the hands of someone else. Are there actually women out there who do? I mean really, not just as a game that you can end at any moment. Women who actually feel sorry when they've upset their master/mistress, honestly sorry, do they exist?

If they do I'd like sure to meet them.

//AGfS

I did meet one or two in Sweden but they were already in long term relationships.

 

[h_i_s]

Ok, this might sound stupid, but I'm new to all this, so I don't know better. I'm simply wondering: does it exist? I mean I've met a lot of women but none of them would (I'm pretty sure) put their life in the hands of someone else. Are there actually women out there who do? I mean really, not just as a game that you can end at any moment. Women who actually feel sorry when they've upset their master/mistress, honestly sorry, do they exist?

If they do I'd like sure to meet them.

//AGfS

There are actually quite a few who post here who are involved in relationships which have sufficiant levels of trust in existance between the partners, who to some extent (some more & some less ... as ALL are different of course ... blah blah blah..) DO/WOULD 'put their lives in the hands of someone else'.

For myself, yes i am one of those people. Do i trust Him? Hell yes. Do i trust Him with my life? Daymn right i do. Do i need to worry about that? Frig no, not at all. Not only do i trust Him, i also know that as His most prized possession .... He's not about to let anything happen to me that may jeopardize my life, or cause any real, serious harm to me in any sense.

No, it's not 'just a game' it is as much WHO we are, as it is HOW we live. Can i end it at any moment? Of course, haven't you ever watched divorce court (i'm a slave who is married to her Master) ?? A better question might be ..... WHY would i ever wish to end it?? i'm extremely happy, well cared for, very much loved, and cherished ... and am allowed to be *me*.

Do i actually and honestly feel sorry when i have upset my Master?? Yes, i do in fact ... it's usually a very emotionally draining, and horrible realization to know that He is anything less than 100% pleased with and proud of my behavior towards Him. i [we] do exist. We are not some dreamed up fantasy that only exists in adult literature found online. We are not some 'make believe' charactor that was invented in your IM/PM cyber chat window during a roleplay session on Yahoo or MSN. The collars around our necks (or whatever symbol applies for those who do not wear collars) are not limited to those all too familiar [ ] brackets seen in variosu adult/BDSM chat rooms across the wide world web. We are REAL. We are here. We exist. YOU just haven't had the opportunity to meet any of 'us' yet, i would have to guess.

P.S ... welcome to the BDSM board/section of the Literotic forums, anotherguyfromsweden.

 

[His_pita]

sinn0cent1 that was lovely and exactly the type of relationship I am hoping to have with my Sir when we are together next year.

 

[Seduce]

I dont have Master, I have husband.
And I trust him not only with my life but lives of my children and my parents (the 4 people I love and cherish most in the world).

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I'm going to answer this the easy way.

Ok, this might sound stupid, but I'm new to all this, so I don't know better. I'm simply wondering: does it exist?

Yes.

I mean I've met a lot of women but none of them would (I'm pretty sure) put their life in the hands of someone else. Are there actually women out there who do?

Yes.

I mean really, not just as a game that you can end at any moment.

Yes.

Women who actually feel sorry when they've upset their master/mistress, honestly sorry, do they exist?

Yes.

If they do I'd like sure to meet them.

//AGfS

Get out to your local munch or BDSM group or play group, and you will meet some. Generally speaking, the odds of finding unattached ones are low at a play group, better at a BDSM group, and best at a local/area munch.

As for details on all those "yeses" up there - re-read sinn0cent1's post. She covered it about as well as it could be covered.

 

[roosterado9]

I am new to this and I know subs can trust completely[its how I know i am not a Dom- I cannot bring them to that place]but I could easily be brought to that place

 

[snowy ciara]

Yes.

Get thee to your bdsm community and watch and learn...

I've seen subs hanging in space from a hook in a ceiling. I've seen them get beaten til they're welted and crying and begging for more. I watched a Dom put on a glove, light it and carress his girl with fire.

I wanna be loved like that someday.

 

[Netzach]

I trust my husband and my slave with my life and limb and secrets. I'm not, however, the submissive. It's a two way street, even when it's a dictatorship.

 

[Marquis]

I trust my husband and my slave with my life and limb and secrets. I'm not, however, the submissive. It's a two way street, even when it's a dictatorship.

Netzach, have I ever told you how much I love you?

 

[graceanne]

Netzach, have I ever told you how much I love you?

I gotta second that.

That is quite possibly the coolest thing I've read on this board in a long time.

 

[anotherguyfromsweden]

For the sake of discussion...

Ok, at the risk of making an ass of myself (seeing how everyone seems to agree), I'll try to meet your arguments.

A better question might be ..... WHY would i ever wish to end it?? i'm extremely happy, well cared for, very much loved, and cherished ... and am allowed to be *me*.

Ok, so you're on board as long as you're extremely happy, but I'm talking about unconditional love. I mean women who hold everything their master says for truth, who would do anything, anything. Not because they want to, but because they have to, because it's who they are.

AGfS

PS. I know I'm probably wrong, but I wanna keep the discussion goin', so what the hell. DS

 

[anotherguyfromsweden]

Makin' a fool of myself

I dont have Master, I have husband.
And I trust him not only with my life but lives of my children and my parents (the 4 people I love and cherish most in the world).

I also have people who I'd trust with my life; people I love. But there's noone I love unconditionally, noone I wouldn't walk out on if they treated me like shit.

 

[Seduce]

I also have people who I'd trust with my life; people I love. But there's noone I love unconditionally, noone I wouldn't walk out on if they treated me like shit.

But I know he would never treat me that way.
As I would never treat him that way.
And he knows he can trust me as much as I trust him.
It is not something you get just like that, it is a process of loving, caring, trusting, in which you put great efforts of being someone who can be trusted in the first place.

 

[anotherguyfromsweden]

What the hell's a "munch"?

What I mean is: if I had a sub and treated her totally unfair, like dirt, would she still love me? That's what I'm wonderin', are there such women?

If you're allowed total control over someone only as long as she agrees with everything you do, that's not real control, then it's just a game.

//AGfS

 

[Private_Label]

I also have people who I'd trust with my life; people I love. But there's noone I love unconditionally, noone I wouldn't walk out on if they treated me like shit.

See, that is the problem. If you fear the person would treat you like shit, then they are not the person you should trust with your life. However, some people have found people they do trust that much.

There are several people I would trust with my life and love unconditionally(some family members even, I even believe they love me unconditionally) and others I would not trust (some family members even!)

I don't think I could be in a long term relationship with someone I didn't trust.

 

[Seduce]

What the hell's a "munch"?

What I mean is: if I had a sub and treated her totally unfair, like dirt, would she still love me? That's what I'm wonderin', are there such women?

If you're allowed total control over someone only as long as she agrees with everything you do, that's not real control, then it's just a game.

//AGfS

You will probably get good answers form some subs around here.
But mine would be one big NO.
I doubt even totally sumbissive would love someone that treats her like dirt all the time. Just my feeling......

 

[Private_Label]

What I mean is: if I had a sub and treated her totally unfair, like dirt, would she still love me? That's what I'm wonderin', are there such women?

If you treated her unfairly then I would have to ask if you have earned the right to treat her unfairly... If you want unconditional trust you have to show you are worthy of that trust.

If you're allowed total control over someone only as long as she agrees with everything you do, that's not real control, then it's just a game.

//AGfS

Any relationship takes work. Each person has their own level of what he finds acceptable. It means you might have to look a long time before you find someone who will meet your expectations.

 

[anotherguyfromsweden]

If you want unconditional trust you have to show you are worthy of that trust.

Then it's not really unconditional, is it?

And seriously, what's a "munch"?!

 

[m wisdom]

And seriously, what's a "munch"?!

Copied from Wikipedia

"A munch is a social event in which people from the BDSM scene meet for talking and discussion. This is an open event, for people interested in the lifestyle to meet in a non-threatening environment to learn more about it. They are generally held in a restaurant or bar where the participants can sit, mingle, and --munch-- on snacks or meals. Munches, being in a public place MIGHT have some of the more basic classes (like BDSM 101 or a variant) but usually is simply for meet and greet."

And welcome to the board.

 

[volvin]

I dont think you understand it.

You wonder if there are people who submit to others unconditional? well there are but what i dont think you understand that you will NEVER just walk in to a bar and find some one who would be just willing to submit to you like that.

Every single person who trusts there parter to submit to them on such a level most likely did so over a few or more years the trust that they have for each other was built over the course of thoes years.

What you ask is do such woman live and walk this world? well no shit and its the dream of many dominates to earn there trust so they can injoy such a feeling of ownwership of another humanbeing ( hope am explaining this right lol).

And abuse is pretty much not a option in such relastionships becouse by the time the submissive is willing to submit unconditional to there S/O the known they would never hurt them or they would not be there in the first place.

atleast thats how i see it. but all i have learned is online

(ps. please forgive my spelling as always its horrible hehe)

 

[h_i_s]

What the hell's a "munch"?

m wisdom explained that well in his post.

What I mean is: if I had a sub and treated her totally unfair, like dirt, would she still love me? That's what I'm wonderin', are there such women?

First of all it's not always about being 'fair'. As a submissive, there ARE times when i may not wish to submit. In the D/s relationship between my Master/Husband and i, it's not about what i want. It's not even about what i may feel is fair. It's about what He wants, and what He has decided is fair. i'm certain there are Doms who may treat their subs as dirt. i doubt the subs love for those Doms survive for very long though. Do they stay with the Doms anyway? i couldn't say as i am not treated as dirt, but i bet some do. Some submissives may like being treated as 'dirt'. Far MORE of them would be likely to take their own release and leave that type of Dom, never looking back, other than to possibly toss them the bird along with their collar. If i hadn't given submission to a wonderfully sweet and sadistic Dom who keeps the scales of fairness and dirt well balanced ... i'd be that submissive giving a one finger salute as i drove FAR FAR away, never to return.

If you're allowed total control over someone only as long as she agrees with everything you do, that's not real control, then it's just a game.

Well now, i don't have that problem. It doesn't apply to me. i don't have a choice NOT to agree. When i have been 'slightly' disobedient, and/or noncompliant, my ass gets beat with a braided leather belt that hurts badly enough that i find it very difficult to comply with the punishment being administered. That belt leaves welts for days, which change to bruises which last for at least a week. Be assured that when the strikes of that belt find my tender bare ass, it's a clear reminder to me that, this is NOT a game. Sometimes submission is not all about agreement or WANTING to do what a Dominant in control has ordered them to do. Many times it's honoring the commitment and promise that was given when a submissive makes a one time infinite commitment to allow a Dom to have control over them.

 

[anotherguyfromsweden]

but what i dont think you understand that you will NEVER just walk in to a bar and find some one who would be just willing to submit to you like that.

Ok, first of all I'm not lookin' to find a sub, that'd be hopin' for too much.

Second I'm not out to hurt or abuse women, I just think that the beauty of having someone submit to me would be their unconditional love. That I wouldn't have to do what she told me to do all the time. Not having to please anyone. Just for example: if I come home really tired I wouldn't have to pretend I wasn't just to please her, I could be myself and watch sports or whatever. And know she'd always love me, no matter what I did.

Now I would never treat someone like dirt all the time, because I'm not an asshole and I don't want to do that.
What I'd like though, is to be able to do anything I want to do, even if it's sometimes something she doesn't want to do.

 

[roosterado9]

Ok, first of all I'm not lookin' to find a sub, that'd be hopin' for too much.

Second I'm not out to hurt or abuse women, I just think that the beauty of having someone submit to me would be their unconditional love. That I wouldn't have to do what she told me to do all the time. Not having to please anyone. Just for example: if I come home really tired I wouldn't have to pretend I wasn't just to please her, I could be myself and watch sports or whatever. And know she'd always love me, no matter what I did.

Now I would never treat someone like dirt all the time, because I'm not an asshole and I don't want to do that.
What I'd like though, is to be able to do anything I want to do, even if it's sometimes something she doesn't want to do.

imho you sound like me but I/m a Sub Maybe i could Level 1 Dom [where the bottom Dictates the scene]but that would be it

 

[SueJ]

Ok, first of all I'm not lookin' to find a sub, that'd be hopin' for too much.

Second I'm not out to hurt or abuse women, I just think that the beauty of having someone submit to me would be their unconditional love. That I wouldn't have to do what she told me to do all the time. Not having to please anyone. Just for example: if I come home really tired I wouldn't have to pretend I wasn't just to please her, I could be myself and watch sports or whatever. And know she'd always love me, no matter what I did.

Now I would never treat someone like dirt all the time, because I'm not an asshole and I don't want to do that.
What I'd like though, is to be able to do anything I want to do, even if it's sometimes something she doesn't want to do.

There are plenty of people in relationships who are treated like shit, and I don't mean D/s M/s relationships! Do they stay? Well, some do and some don't. It's no different in the BDSM world, though there is perhaps more at stake.

You're absolutely right that there is a true beauty in unconditional love. We feel that with our children all the time! That is very much the glue that holds a D/s relationship together, IMO.

If my husband comes home exhausted and stressed and wants to watch sports, not only does he get to do so, but there's a pretty good chance that I am required to pleasure him sexually at the same time. LOL.... And you know, when he's so stressed and exhausted, and I can help relieve some of that, I am very happy to do so. Always.

Regarding punishment for disobedience, in our particular relationship, I am never punished physically for that. First of all, my husband knows that a whipping will only encourage my bad behavior. It is better used for motivational purposes. Secondly, he wants me to enjoy pain play as he does, so he reserves that for erotic pleasure only. He has enough ways to torture me mentally that hurt far more, and the withdrawal of his attention and affection are the most painful forms of punishment to me. Fortunately, they are rarely necessary.

As for giving without limits....We were almost 10 years into our relationship before I was willing to commit to that and do away with all limits in the D/s relationship. Now we're at over 20 years, and it just keeps getting better all the time. I'd never want to go back. But as many others have said, it is a long process of building that kind of trust. Submissives should be extremely careful to whom they yield control.