Does anger serve a purpose?

[Jada59]

Of course I suppose it depends on the severity of what happens to you. But I had an odd conversation with a friend earlier. I told her that I came home to some sort of shredded cheese explosion. There were crispy bits in the microwave, fresher bits on the counter. Turntable in microwave was left all wonky (granted this is a flaw of this microwave and hard to put straight) and an empty hemp milk container and a trail of sugar were on the counter. Took me a couple/three minutes to clean it up.

My friend told me I should get really angry about it and approach one of the two likely culprits from a point of anger, screaming and yelling at them. My friend knows that one of the likely suspects has PTSD and screaming and yelling is the last thing one should to do such a person.

I just kind of shook my head and said, "Why? What purpose would getting really angry serve? It's just going to make me feel like crap and I prefer to be happy!"

I will mention to them that I would appreciate it if they could try to clean up their mess a little better. I also think the person with PTSD might have ADD as well. He hasn't told me that he was diagnosed with it but sometimes his actions seem to lean that way.

At any rate... If you came home to a similar situation, would you allow yourself to get really angry? If so, why?

I am not the type to ignore things or repress my anger. Sure, I wasn't happy for a minute or two but it wasn't a big deal to clean it up. And in the overall scheme of things, this seemed like something rather minor.

I also think I know why my friend is so on edge all the time. She never lets anything go. She constantly drags up things again and again that people did to her in the past. I see no point in that either. Address it with the person who did it, then perhaps try to come to some sort of agreement and let it go.

What would you do?

 

[patient1]

Anger is good for fight or flight. It also helps you clean up a mess faster.

As for your friend, I think "letting go" is one of the secrets to happiness. Your mileage may vary.

 

[Libsam]

For me, anger is an emotional signal that lets me know something aint right, and that I got a problem that needs fixin'.

Talking and understanding is always the best solution imo.

 

[Jada59]

Anger is good for fight or flight. It also helps you clean up a mess faster.

As for your friend, I think "letting go" is one of the secrets to happiness. Your mileage may vary.

Thanks!

 

[Jada59]

For me, anger is an emotional signal that lets me know something aint right, and that I got a problem that needs fixin'.

Talking and understanding is always the best solution imo.

Thanks!

 

[dolf]

Your friend sounds like a dick.

If I catch someone in a deliberate act of cruelty, I'm likely to lose my shit. But small stuff like that? Really?

If a husband loses his shit, screaming in his wife's face, over a little housework, it's (rightly) seen as emotional abuse. Just because we have tits, doesn't make it any less so.

 

[Jada59]

Your friend sounds like a dick.

If I catch someone in a deliberate act of cruelty, I'm likely to lose my shit. But small stuff like that? Really?

If a husband loses his shit, screaming in his wife's face, over a little housework, it's (rightly) seen as emotional abuse. Just because we have tits, doesn't make it any less so.

That's what I thought too. And sadly, I know far too many men who are or were in abusive relationships. They eventually learn not to even try to talk about it. Nobody believes them. Not even the cops.

 

[WoundedKnee]

Anger is good for fight or flight. It also helps you clean up a mess faster.

As for your friend, I think "letting go" is one of the secrets to happiness. Your mileage may vary.

That was exactly my first thought.

Then I started to read the OP and thought...,



Life is too short.

 

[Jada59]

That was exactly my first thought.

Then I started to read the OP and thought...,



Life is too short.

Thanks.

 

[Debbie]

Of course I suppose it depends on the severity of what happens to you. But I had an odd conversation with a friend earlier. I told her that I came home to some sort of shredded cheese explosion. There were crispy bits in the microwave, fresher bits on the counter. Turntable in microwave was left all wonky (granted this is a flaw of this microwave and hard to put straight) and an empty hemp milk container and a trail of sugar were on the counter. Took me a couple/three minutes to clean it up.

My friend told me I should get really angry about it and approach one of the two likely culprits from a point of anger, screaming and yelling at them. My friend knows that one of the likely suspects has PTSD and screaming and yelling is the last thing one should to do such a person.

I just kind of shook my head and said, "Why? What purpose would getting really angry serve? It's just going to make me feel like crap and I prefer to be happy!"

I will mention to them that I would appreciate it if they could try to clean up their mess a little better. I also think the person with PTSD might have ADD as well. He hasn't told me that he was diagnosed with it but sometimes his actions seem to lean that way.

At any rate... If you came home to a similar situation, would you allow yourself to get really angry? If so, why?

I am not the type to ignore things or repress my anger. Sure, I wasn't happy for a minute or two but it wasn't a big deal to clean it up. And in the overall scheme of things, this seemed like something rather minor.

I also think I know why my friend is so on edge all the time. She never lets anything go. She constantly drags up things again and again that people did to her in the past. I see no point in that either. Address it with the person who did it, then perhaps try to come to some sort of agreement and let it go.

What would you do?

I think venting anger in a healthy way is a natural reaction. Throwing a hissy fit because someone made a mess is a bit ott imo. I'd be annoyed more than angry.

I grew up in a very religious family where we were taught emotional outbursts such as anger were unacceptable. It took me years to realize that wasn't healthy at all. It's ok to get angry just don't bash someones head in when they make a mess in the house.

It sounds like your friend has some anger issues and maybe dealing with that would help her lead a happier life.

 

[13Fantasies]

Unfortunately, it's how some people assert their dominance of a situation. If they can belittle and demean the other person, they see themselves as the victor, even in things that aren't fights

 

[BoyNextDoor]

What would you do?

Leave the mess and tell them to get off their ass and clean it up. And then probably find new roommates.

 

[Que]

Most often it is simply covering for another emotion. It's a defense mechanism.

Actual anger is useless. Righteous indignation is reasonable though.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Anger serves no purpose. All relations should be conducted on the basis of reason and logic.

 

[IG_88]

All emotions have a purpose. They are as much a part of evolution as our physical bodies.
The problems come when we don't learn to use them properly. Getting overly emotional about anything is rarely good but under the right circumstances they are all helpful.

 

[Super-Surprise]

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[Super-Surprise]

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[Super-Surprise]

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[Super-Surprise]

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[Super-Surprise]

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[Paul_Chance]

Anger serves a purpose - it can give us the fire (or will) to get up and keep going under very difficult circumstances when we might otherwise crumple or break or just give up.

That said, I think it only applies to true injustices or true physical threats.

As a human being, it can be a powerfully destructive force and should always be treated with caution and suspicion when it arises. Then, in a calmer time, examined carefully to see what lesson is there. Was it the proper response? Was it a useful response? Did it attain the goal it intended to attain?

I rarely get angry, in part because I think the vast majority of things are not worth getting angry about and expressing anger rarely provides more then a temporary resolution. Often enough it makes things worse, especially when it is disproportionate or unjustified.

 

[Hypoxia]

Philosophers long ago categorized various types of loves. Are angers so taxonomized?

 

[Paul_Chance]

Philosophers long ago categorized various types of loves. Are angers so taxonomized?

Yes, they have whole a whole spectrum for anger.

Micheal Hatch has a rather complete taxomony in "The Magnitude of Things", though he writes partly tongue in cheek. (His intention was to introduce philosophical concepts in a humorous and easy to read format.)

Depending on the fields, there are a variety of spectrums - psychological (anger management), philosophical, and religious. Philosophically, all of the major schools have dealt with or addressed anger in it's various forms, though if there is a universal taxonomy I have never encountered it, though, like love, the Greeks broke it down into six or seven different words for each type they saw and thought about.

They usually vary along and X and Y axis, with X being Intensity and Y being Expression. Here's a religious one (in relation to anger as a sin)

Here's another secular one that is useful.

https://intentex.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/classification-of-emotions-2.jpg

 

[Aquagal]

I would have asked the culprit to clean up his own mess.

 

[Hypoxia]

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.