Do you use/prefer description to create a setting or to evoke the MC's internal experiences?

[AG31]

I recently figured out that I limit my descriptions to things that the MC is paying attention to, as contrasted with describing everything around the MC so the reader can see them in context. Clearly both are legitimate. Which do you employ? Which do you prefer?

I think I definitely prefer the former, at least in erotica.. It's pretty critical to my enjoyment of a story. I find scene setting a bit of a distraction.

 

[NotWise]

In 1st person, everything described is what the narrator pays attention to. His or her attention will almost always wander from the erotic.

In third person, I may describe more of the setting than the main characters are paying attention to. I think you're right that it can be a distraction from an erotic focus. But then, most of the stories I write are stories with sex in them, not entirely erotica. The distractions are intentional, and not appreciated by all readers.

 

[SimonDoom]

My writing in 3d person POV has evolved toward more consistent use of 3d person limited as opposed to omniscient, so I'm more likely to describe a setting only in terms of what the POV character can see and ALSO in terms that the POV character would likely use to describe the setting. When I started writing I was less scrupulous about this, but this is how I prefer to do it most of the time now.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

One of the few ways in which I'm straight is that I go to the point. I only describe what needs to be described, regardless of narrator.

 

[ElectricBlue]

My writing in 3d person POV has evolved toward more consistent use of 3d person limited as opposed to omniscient, so I'm more likely to describe a setting only in terms of what the POV character can see and ALSO in terms that the POV character would likely use to describe the setting. When I started writing I was less scrupulous about this, but this is how I prefer to do it most of the time now.

Copy this. My style was described (quite early on, in fact, before I'd even heard the term 'limited third') as, "You get the reader right in with their head on the pillow, whereas I want to step back and close the door." That catches it nicely, I think.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Mostly the former.

 

[AG31]

In 1st person, everything described is what the narrator pays attention to. His or her attention will almost always wander from the erotic.

Not really. The narrator could set out to describe the setting, for the benefit of the reader, without confining themselves to things they pay attention to. Seeing isn't the same thing as paying attention.

 

[AG31]

so I'm more likely to describe a setting only in terms of what the POV character can see and ALSO in terms that the POV character would likely use to describe the setting.

Yes, this is the distinction I'm trying to make. It's possible for a first person narrator to write an expansive description of the setting, not because they're attending to it, but because they're a narrator with an obligation to the reader. Attention and seeing aren't the same.

 

[NotWise]

Yes, this is the distinction I'm trying to make. It's possible for a first person narrator to write an expansive description of the setting, not because they're attending to it, but because they're a narrator with an obligation to the reader. Attention and seeing aren't the same.

Simon was talking about writing in third person.

I may not understand the distinction between your two kinds of "paying attention to." Is one in dialog, and one in narrative?

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I tend to only describe what is relevant to advancing the plot or providing information about the characters.
For instance in one of my series the MMC's apartment is an important location, but I haven't described it in great detail because it just doesn't matter. It's small and neat. The color of the carpet or drapes doesn't matter, it doesn't advance the plot and by the time we'd arrived at the apartment the MMC was well enough established that it wouldn't provide any meaningful new information about him.
I'd be padding the word count for no good reason.
On the other hand in an as of yet unpublished story, when the FMC visits the MMC's house for the first time I spent a great deal more time describing it because we were still getting to know the MMC and the FMC was trying to figure him out as well. What did his choices in decor say about him?

 

[AG31]

Simon was talking about writing in third person.

I may not understand the distinction between your two kinds of "paying attention to." Is one in dialog, and one in narrative?

It doesn't matter whether we're talking about 1st or 3rd person. Both can be distinguished as giving us descriptions either to establish a setting or to convey one's inner state.

Convey a setting: I was in an auditorium that looked like it was built in the 1800's.

Convey one's inner state: The door on the far side of the auditorium was dark, unexpectedly dark.

I'm not a particularly good author. I'm a recorder of fantasies. So others maybe be able to provide better examples.

 

[NotWise]

It doesn't matter whether we're talking about 1st or 3rd person. Both can be distinguished as giving us descriptions either to establish a setting or to convey one's inner state.

Convey a setting: I was in an auditorium that looked like it was built in the 1800's.

Convey one's inner state: The door on the far side of the auditorium was dark, unexpectedly dark.

I'm not a particularly good author. I'm a recorder of fantasies. So others maybe be able to provide better examples.

Internal narrative vs external narrative?

The first line doesn't convey much, but maybe because I've never been in an auditorium built before the 1920's. The second gives a little sense of foreboding.

Here's a line from my most recent:

The garage was already half empty. Music thumped from some distant woofer and tires squealed on the concrete.

The story is in first person, though that line doesn't tell you that. Its just narrative. It seems to be a description of the setting, but it tries to convey the feeling that it's getting late in the day. So which is it?

 

[ElectricBlue]

The story is in first person, though that line doesn't tell you that. Its just narrative. It seems to be a description of the setting, but it tries to convey the feeling that it's getting late in the day. So which is it?

I think there's plain narrative and evocative narrative. For me, it comes down to word choice, sentence flow, what I call "the beat and flow of the prose."

One could analyse it semantically I guess, but I think most writers progress from the first style to the second as they become more accomplished writers, and it becomes intuitive.

Or you've either got it or you don't, one can never know for sure. Some writers are much easier to read than others, that's for sure. Others, you can feel the square wheels going clunk.

 

[Britva415]

In 1st person, everything described is what the narrator pays attention to

I mean, yeah. That would be some pretty flawed first-person narrative, otherwise!

Reminds me of that joke, "don't burn that bridge before you get to it."

I'd like to see you try

 

[NotWise]

I think the distinction @AG31 is making is similar to the difference between "showing" and "telling." As with "show, don't tell" there isn't a clean line separating the end points, and sometimes you might just want to "tell."

 

[TheLobster]

One of the few ways in which I'm straight is that I go to the point. I only describe what needs to be described, regardless of narrator.

TIL that despite being arrow-straight, many thigs I’ve written are apparently pretty gay.

 

[JayHawnee]

I think, at least most of the things one presents should have meaning for character-establishment and the plot/narration. But in this regard, it can be also interesting to write about what the protagonist is not paying attention for, as this can still tell something about the protagonists like:

The apartment Susan entered was very different from her own. The floor was made of marble and golden candlesticks lined the corridor. But she didn't pay attention to any of that, she only had eyes for him.

 

[AG31]

I mean, yeah. That would be some pretty flawed first-person narrative, otherwise!

It wouldn't be flawed at all. The 1st person narrator could be setting the scene, quite apart from conveying their internal state, just like a 3rd person narrator would.

 

[Britva415]

It wouldn't be flawed at all. The 1st person narrator could be setting the scene, quite apart from conveying their internal state, just like a 3rd person narrator would.

How are they “not paying attention” to it in that case, though?

If they’re narrating it, they’re paying attention to it.

 

[AG31]

How are they “not paying attention” to it in that case, though?

If they’re narrating it, they’re paying attention to it.

Well... Maybe I ought to start a thread called "What are the different interpretations of 'paying attention' to ones environment? But to try to answer your question, a narrator is not focussing on what the MC is paying attention to when they are simply setting a scene for the reader.

In my OP

 

[HeyAll]

I largely avoid detailed descriptions of setting, mainly because I was never good at it. I like getting straight to the point also. I also think detailed descriptions of setting don't really help unless it's part of the story.

 

[Britva415]

a narrator is not focussing on what the MC is paying attention to when they are simply setting a scene for the reader.

I was specifically talking about when that narrator and that MC are the same. I was responding to a post about first-person narration.

 

[Izanami9]

For me it varies quite a lot depending on the story. For example, in my 1st-person-present 17th-century historical adventure/romance the prose is richer and more verbose than it is for my 1980s NYC memoir fiction in all aspects including description, because I don’t want dissonance to distract or annoy my readers.

In any case, I know every reader processes stories differently, all along a vast spectrum bookended by aphantasia on one end and hyperphantasia on the other, not to mention the synesthesia some readers experience. My goal is to create stories that appeal to as much of the spectrum as possible, so I try to sketch in at least an outline of each setting etc, then let the reader fill in the details however they please. I fill in more details when the narrative seems to require it, but as a general rule I tell myself “LESS IS MORE” because otherwise I know I’ll run rampant with descriptions no one asked for.

I also try to evoke ALL the senses, not just visual, which is an inspiration I first learned from Erin Morgenstern’s masterpiece ‘The Night Circus’

 

[NotWise]

I think terminology is the problem here, and what @AG31 is talking about is partly (as I think @ElectricBlue said), the difference between description done well, and description done maybe not-so well, and partly the widely-accepted difference between using description just to lay out a scene ("telling") and to communicate more than just the scene ("showing").

As she said in the opening, either can be valid. Also, I think you can't really draw a clean line between the two cases.

 

[ronde]

It doesn't matter whether we're talking about 1st or 3rd person. Both can be distinguished as giving us descriptions either to establish a setting or to convey one's inner state.

Convey a setting: I was in an auditorium that looked like it was built in the 1800's.

Convey one's inner state: The door on the far side of the auditorium was dark, unexpectedly dark.

I'm not a particularly good author. I'm a recorder of fantasies. So others maybe be able to provide better examples.

I think there is a difference between 1st and 3rd person.

In 1st person, I would write the description using what the main character would not necessarily "see", but would "notice" based upon how I've set the personality of that character. A lot of things are visible to us every day most of which we ignore based upon how and what we happen to be doing at the time. What we "notice" are things that pertain to our likes and dislikes and things that are useful to us at the moment. For instance, a police detective "sees" streetlights, buildings, streets, cars and people, but what he "notices" are things that look out of place or that might lead him to find the person he's looking for.

In 3rd person, I describe a scene in general terms so the reader can make the scene seem like he or she wants it to be. I've written this before, but a scene description in 3rd person should be more of a sketch than a photograph. I like your two examples. They're detailed enough to convey the general idea, but not so descriptive as to make the reader "see" what you saw when you wrote the description.