Do you talk during sex, I mean really TALK?

[BigTexan]

The Earl, on another thread, said that he doesn't include dialog in sex scenes because (and I paraphrase horribly here) it wouldn't be realistic.

I don't think that is true. When my wife and I make love we talk. I mean really talk. We don't discuss politics but that is about all we won't talk about.

Honestly. I tell her how beautiful she is, she tells me where to touch her. I tell her how good she is at whatever she's doing and she does the same. She tells me if she wants me to be more tender or more rough. In short: we talk.

Is this odd? Do other people not talk during sex?

BigTexan

 

[Octavian]

Do the English talk during sex?

Originally posted by Big Texan under the thread 'the use of dialect in fiction'.

are you saying that the English don't talk during sex?

Answer:

We English will only talk during sex if we have already been formally introduced.

 

[fiery_jack]

The Earl, on another thread, said that he doesn't include dialog in sex scenes because (and I paraphrase horribly here) it wouldn't be realistic.

I don't think that is true. When my wife and I make love we talk. I mean really talk. We don't discuss politics but that is about all we won't talk about.

Honestly. I tell her how beautiful she is, she tells me where to touch her. I tell her how good she is at whatever she's doing and she does the same. She tells me if she wants me to be more tender or more rough. In short: we talk.

Is this odd? Do other people not talk during sex?

BigTexan

I talk during sex and don't think it'd be quite as fulfilling without it.

Thinking about it, there may be more dialogue (at a different level) during the sex then there is building up to it. But that may have been because i was in a "long term affair" i guess.

Anyway, you're not the only one(s)

 

[Madame Manga]

I don't like too much talk during sex. If I'm the active party, I like some feedback about what I'm doing, but a lot of chat tends to put me in my head and out of the rest of my body. That can cut an orgasm off at the source, at least for me. I mean, it still feels good ;-) but if I go off on a tangent while I'm on my way, I may not get back to that point at all.

My husband seems to like talk more than I do, however. I try to accommodate him sometimes, but usually I'm rendered speechless...

MM

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

I love to talk during sex. Sometimes I guess I talk to much cause hubby tell me to shut up, LOL. I find it very arousing. It's just one more of your senses being used. Most people already use sight, taste, touch and smell, so why not add sound to the arousal.

Wicked

 

[SteamyChik]

I do not talk during sex. Maybe a few words here and there, but not all out "oh yes baby, fuck my pussy harder that feels so good, my god, i'm cumming, yes like that harder harder harder!".

I may mewl a bit, sigh, moan and pant - but talking? Not really. (Probably comes from YEARS of having to be silent so the parents, children, neighbors etc...wouldn't hear

I'm definately an actions speak louder than words participant

 

[Chicklet]

maybe i'm strange but i try to keep conversation and sex seperate - i don't talk at all, about anything, and if anyone else does (partner wise) it's really a turn off for me.

chicklet

 

[Ms.M]

Normally i am not very talkative with men,except the normal, "oh baby" stuff.

With women I am much more vocal when i am on the recieivng side, if I'm on the giving side, my mouth is usually occupied.

 

[TheEarl]

I don't really talk during sex. If my partner's doing it right, then it's difficult to keep my mind on a conversation thread. I make guttural sounds involving lots of consonants and the usual prayers ("Oh God yes, Oh God, please") but nothing major.

Although it may sound strange, what do you talk about (those who said they do talk)? Not asking for a verbatim account, but just curious. I don't write words during sex, because to me they'd sound false. I can't see my characters speaking, os if I try and force words in they don't ring true.

I have heard that 'talking dirty' does improve sex and I have written about this in one of my sex scenes, but I've never been able to do it myself without sounding like a tit and I've never found a girl willing to do it.

The Earl

 

[Diane Marie]

It depends on who I'm with. Some men want you to talk dirty, I love to be pleased but I also love to please.

Oral is my biggest pleasure, I’m very vocal when I’m receiving oral but I’m not very verbal. During intercourse I can be as verbal as the man wants me to be but it is not something that comes naturally, it’s somewhat forced.

I, like Ms.M, tend to talk more when I’m with another woman, tender loving words, rarely dirty. In my current love relationship we are both very verbal during foreplay, I don’t consider oral foreplay.

 

[BigTexan]

Although it may sound strange, what do you talk about (those who said they do talk)?
The Earl

During foreplay, which I agree does NOT include the oral sex part to me that is just part of sex, we talk about a lot of things. "Did you have a good day?" "They say it may rain tomorrow, want to go dancing in the rain?" "Did you enjoy the resturant?", "Do you want me to tie you up tonight?", "Which toy do you want to use?" but not politics or money.

During sex we generally talk about the sex itself. We don't talk dirty per se' we just tell each other how much we love each other and "yes that feels good", "No move your hand up just a little, oh, yeah, right there." She might say things like "Mmm, yes, my nipples are tender tonight, go slow there." or "Be rough tonight, I want to feel your teeth on my nipples."

I might say things like. "Mm, not so much teeth, yeah, like that." as she's giving me oral or maybe "Yeah, okay, let me feel your teeth." Depending on my mood.

We don't "talk dirty" much though. My wife uses the words pussy or breasts or cock, but it isn't like "Oh baby pound my pussy with your big cock!" What would be the purpose of that other than vocal stimulation if you were into that. No it's usually more like "Mmm, yes, I want to feel your cock on my clit. Yeah, rub it up and down my pussy. Yeah, okay now lets turn over."

Honestly I don't know how you could get the most out of sex without talking. How do you let your lover know what kind of mood your in? If they are doing something and it isn't quite right, how do you let them know? If you are doing something that usually works for them, but tonight their mood is different, how do they let you know? Do you just leave it unsatisfying and get mad at your partner because they couldn't read your mind?

BigTexan

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Me and my hubby rarely shut up during sex!

Part of my pleasure is listening to his voice. In normal, every day conversation, he has a voice like warm, melted chocolate, slowly running down inside my being... Imagine then when he's horny and speaks seductively to me, when he tells me ow good I feel, how beautiful I am, and that he would like to *beeeeeeeep* my *beeeeep* and then *beeeeeep*..! Woooo...

Sometimes, while we're having sex, one of us can suddenly stop and start to talk about a sexy movie that he/she suddenly remembers, or tell a dirty joke, or whatever. Then it's like a time-out for the time it takes to tell it, and then we continue, without losing interest or strength.

We talk about what we what the other to do, we show the other how to do it, we encourage each other with our moans and "yeah, just like that, baby", and we talk about our fantasies, talk dirty to each other, etc, etc.

To us, talking makes something great even greater.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

What do you mean by 'talking' anyway? Holding a discussion or just verbalizing your feelings?

If you can hold a discussion during sex, you're doing something wrong. I can't imagine doing foreplay and discussing how my day went. That's absurd.

---dr.M.

 

[Madame Manga]

Doing something wrong? I don't think it's possible to tell anyone that they are doing something wrong in bed. ;-) Unless, of course, they are raping and torturing people or screwing up the mechanics somehow! I actually heard about a naive married couple who went to a sex therapist because the wife had persistent pain during intercourse. Turned out the husband had been putting it up her urethra from his sheer ignorance of the female anatomy. Don't ask me how he got it in there.

I don't say much when I'm turned on; other people apparently do: to each his own. The people in my sex scenes talk a little more than I would, for narrative purposes, which is apparently reasonably realistic--at least, no one has called me on it yet. ;-)

Dirty talk mostly makes me laugh or think of porn videos. "Yeah, you love my big cock, don't you, slut?" *rolls eyes* I prefer to guide my husband with my hands or with non-verbal sounds, and he knows exactly what I mean most of the time. If he doesn't get it, then I will say something, but it's more or less my last resort!

MM

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I don't know about that, doc. Me and my hubby can talk about this and that while having sex. It makes us hold on for ages.

 

[TheEarl]

I can only think of one of my sex scenes where there's speech and I included that simply because I wanted to have one of my characters talking dirty and even then it was only a few sentences. I wonder why no-one's called me on it, if talking's so common in sex.

I don't know why, I just don't seem to be that vocal. Tend to take my sexual cues from what my partner's doing, rather than saying. Of course if I've lost an erogenous zone, I'll ask for directions, but not a lot beyond that.

The Earl

 

[kristydoll]

Well, I've never held "conversations" but sex without talk just wouldn't be sex to me.

I won't give examples because I'm sure most would find what I like to hear a little past what's considered "talking dirty" *grins* But it definately puts my mind right where its supposed to be.

kristy

 

[English Lady]

Well I must say my husband and i don't converse during actual sex sex(if you get my drift) about mundane things, but we do have our best conversations snuggled up together in bed. As we talk about this ,that and the other we cuddle and fondle and caress and then that often leads on to more.


As for talk during sex we both like dirty talk. Not all the time,as people have pointed out there are times when you can barely remeber your name let alone how to form a sentance during sex!

I love hearing my husbands voice,its so sexual! it excites me just hearing it and when he tells me a "story" i'm in heaven. He wispers into my ear the wicked depraved things he knows i would like done to me and believe you me that is fantastic!!!! I do the same back to him, i know all his fantasies, i know what he wants to hear so i weave him a story. It is a thing that has gotten better over time(obviously) we're much more confident now ,we know each other so much better and we both know how much our voices turn each other on.

 

[fiery_jack]

I have heard that 'talking dirty' does improve sex and I have written about this in one of my sex scenes, but I've never been able to do it myself without sounding like a tit and I've never found a girl willing to do it.

The Earl

If i were to repeat on this board, some of the stuff i've come out with during sex, i'd feel like a right idiot!

I wouldn't get into it with a new partner, but further into a relationship where we're both comfortable with each other, it doesn't sound so daft.

 

[toffeegyrl]

Great topic.

The ex and I talked much more in the beginning of the relationship, when the sex was better. By 'talking' I mean, there were more teasing jokes and similar:
"You want me to stop?"
"No."
"Oh, okay, I'll stop."
"No, don't stop!"
"Stop?"
"No!"
"No, you want me to stop? Okay, I'll stop."
(spoken while doing something obviously delicious and enjoyable)

The one time we "talked dirty", we ended up collapsing into giggles and although we were aroused enough to have sex, we had to stop because we just couldn't stop laughing.

Mostly, our 'talk'consisted of smaller statements, such as "Yes, like that," or "Right there." which always sufficed for communicating wishes or pleasure.

But it's wierd, althought it seemed we never said much, I remember thinking that the relationship was definitely over, and the sex had really gone downhill the time we didn't say anything to one another. And looking back, the communication had diminshed along with the affection. I'm not sure what conclusions you'd draw from that.

Anyway, to answer your question, yes.

 

[Cuckolded_BlK_Male]

Does "Whose pussy is this?" count?

 

[karmadog]

Do you talk during sex?

Yes, but like a charismatic, I do it in tongues.

 

[Angeline]

What a dog

Yes, but like a charismatic, I do it in tongues.

I didn't know you were a glossolalist.

 

[BigTexan]

What do you mean by 'talking' anyway? Holding a discussion or just verbalizing your feelings?

If you can hold a discussion during sex, you're doing something wrong. I can't imagine doing foreplay and discussing how my day went. That's absurd.

---dr.M.

Dr. M.

I think I've already answered this, but let me say it plainly.

We hold discussions during foreplay, which I believe starts long before the actual sex . We don't "discuss" complicated topics during actual sex.

As for doing something wrong. Well I've done it both ways. I much prefer talking. It is more intimate, more stimulating, more everything that way. If my wife wouldn't talk during sex, then I suspect we wouldn't be married long because sex without talking to me seems selfish and borish.

I think what you are describing is during climax. I'll admit I do very little more than grunt during my climax and my wife seems unable to talk during her orgasms too. But sex and making love are so much more than just the ten seconds of climax.

I wonder how long it takes you to have sex. I've heard others talk about quickies taking ten minutes. I couldn't do that. I doubt I could get an erection in ten minutes, little lone finish anything interesting. When my wife and I make love it takes hours, honestly. On my last birthday we spent the entire day making love. That would have been much less fun if we had refused to talk to each other during sex.

BigTexan

 

[MissTaken]

Yes, I talk during sex.

The degree to which I do depends on the partner and what they enjoy.

There are times when I stick with the "Oh, baby", "Yes," and then when reaching orgasm, it becomes a religious experience, "Oh Gawwwwddddd!"

On the other hand, there are times when talking dirty seems natural. "I love how you fuck me," "Deeper, Harder , Oh etc."

Now, and this may not be the most talk occurs during kinky sex. That is simply part of the scene or power play.