Do you remember your first sexual experience?

[shereads]

I remember my first.

I even remember her name but I'm not telling.

It was so long ago that some of your parents weren't born.

I remember someone else, much later, who was far more experienced than I was and a good teacher. I will always be grateful to her (as was my cousin who succeeded me in her affections). She taught several young men how to please a woman and seemed to enjoy seducing virgin men. I wonder if she still does?

Og

I know one of the two was the Queen Mother, but which one?

 

[Edward Teach]

I was 16 and she was impressed by how expertly I put a condom on. She said that I must be really experienced because the other boy she had been with fumbled around a lot trying to get a condom on.

And I was experienced...at putting a condom on. I had had lots of practice sitting in the tub, just me and my condoms and a bar of soap.


Eddie The Experienced

 

[shereads]

I was 16 and she was impressed by how expertly I put a condom on. She said that I must be really experienced because the other boy she had been with fumbled around a lot trying to get a condom on.

And I was experienced...at putting a condom on. I had had lots of practice sitting in the tub, just me and my condoms and a bar of soap.


Eddie The Experienced

:

This is one of those rare grins that actually stretches the skin at the corners of the mouth. It stings a little.