Do you feel embarrased?

[Mythrana]

Dear all Literotica forumners,

Do you feel embarrassed when you were writing sex scenes? I do to the extend I could not put it in words because it feels too explicit.

What would you do in this situation? Would appreciate any suggestions.

Thank you all

 

[SeaCat]

Not at all. Sex scenes are a fantastic part of life, and I write to show enjoyment of life. (Okay, most of my stories are about the enjoyment of life and learning.)

Cat

 

[doormouse]

I think highly aroused is a better description to how I feel when writing a sex scene.

You/I need to feel or imagine at least, what the person is feeling to better describe it.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Try closing your eyes so you won't see the words.

No? How about wearing a mask so no one will recognize you.

No, really, that's such an odd question to ask porn writers. That's very sweet. I have no idea what to tell you, though.

Does reading porn embarrass you too?

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Nothing embarrasses me. Even my grandma knows I write porn. It may help you to get in a sexy mood before you write. Dim the lights, close the door, have a glass of wine and try to get into your writing that way. If you write erotica long enough, you will get to be like the rest of us who can write sex scenes while waiting for a train, or in a bus, or on vacation with the kids by the pool.

 

[yui]

Hi Mythrana,

It might also help if you write what you know. If you're a female, start out writing sex from the first person female view. I'm embarrassed when I try to write sex from the male perspective. I feel like a man is going to read what I have written and guffaw. I worry that I am going to sound like a woman writing what she thinks a man thinks. But I know what happens to my mind and my body during sex. I can write about that with some authority, eh?

And Dr. M, yes, I have definitely read some porn that embarrassed me to read. Not the sex, but the terribly written sex.

Luck,

Yui

 

[Op_Cit]

Deeply embarrassed.

I really get into the writing part, right up until I have to get dirty, then I have to switch tracks. Kind of like acting, I guess I find I have to put myself completely in another person's place and let him/her do it.

I think the reason for this is that most of what I'm writing about is not me or my personal style as far as sex goes. (Perhaps because I tend to be too much of a chameleon: what gets me off is what gets her off.)

Then again, maybe it's because what I find erotic is not the sex but what leads up to it or what goes on in the participants' minds.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

And Dr. M, yes, I have definitely read some porn that embarrassed me to read. Not the sex, but the terribly written sex.

Well, that's true. I've read some porn that made me embarrassed to be a human being. I've read some non-porn too that made me feel the same way.

Come to think of it, embarrassment is probably a writer's worst nightmare. Not for being dirty, but for just being embarrassing. Isn't that what we're all afraid of?

 

[cantdog]

I do detest disgracing myself. I felt very lucky getting away with my chain story chapter. It referred to some technicalities about woodwinds, about which I am fairly thoroughly ignorant. Panic ensued when the first of the feedbacks were from honest to shit musicians. One of my fondest acquaintances in the AH played woodwinds for a living! Busted! Oh, Christ, I'm going to look like an ass!

But I got away clean. I must have made no missteps at all. And I based it on my memory of a conversation from some seven years back. I can certainly identify, Zoot.

 

[angela146]

I think the reason for this is that most of what I'm writing about is not me or my personal style as far as sex goes. (Perhaps because I tend to be too much of a chameleon: what gets me off is what gets her off.)

I deal with it by not letting my language get too raunchy and by shielding my identity.

Nobody other than my husband knows that I am on Literotica. That way I can be more daring and explicit than I would be otherwise.

Then again, maybe it's because what I find erotic is not the sex but what leads up to it or what goes on in the participants' minds.

There is nothing wrong with focusing on the lead-up and becomming more suggestive (rather than graphic) as the action gets around to sex. There are lots of readers who like it that way.

If you find that certain words or descriptions embarrass you, try to say the same thing in a more poetic or metaphorical style, or by implying rather than stating.

Instead of: "He rammed his cock into my cunt" you might try "My muscles moaned as his massive manhood mauled my mound."

 

[Mythrana]

Embarrassed in a sexy way

[If you write erotica long enough, you will get to be like the rest of us who can write sex scenes while waiting for a train, or in a bus, or on vacation with the kids by the pool.] - OhMissScarlett

That was so cute. I have never picture sex scenes in crowded place yet. Don't think I can get into the mood but I think I would give it a try. Maybe it could even enhance my sex life with my other half.

What I meant embarrassed was in a sexy way. Where you know the scene was so explicit that it was meant for your private thoughts and not to put it down in words.

I won't feel embarrassed with badly written porn but I would definitely yawn and flipped through it.

I do have picture sex scenes when having a romantic dinner in a dimly lit restaurant where my face would blushed hot and feel myself getting turn on so much so I want to grab a piece of paper and write down that feeling not so much of wanting the sex act itself.

So I guess everyone is really made up differently where some people can go autopilot on sex scenes even when doing the most 'unsexy' activities in their daily lives and some need to completely warm-up first.

Thank you very much for sharing your views all.

Mythrana

 

[cantdog]

Gawd, Angela, deah, that's pretty fierce stuff.

 

[shereads]

I felt embarrassed the first time I wrote here, in the Sexual Roleplay Forum. It was easy as long as I pretended I was playing privately with my writing partner. After the first explicit post, I felt great for five minutes and horrified for the next 24 hours. The idea that I had expressed things of such a private nature in a place accessible to anyone on the planet with access to the internet made me almost dizzy with shame.

I got over it by reminding myself that we have the option of remaining completely anonymous here.

At least, I thought I was over it. Recently, I was talking to a friend about a funny exchange in the AH, and it went over better than I had intended. She said she'd like to check out Literotica and asked me for my screen name.

I had to tell her no. I can do this as long as I know it will forever remain a secret from people I work with, or who have met my family.

Edited to add: If you're shy, it might help to write with a partner in the Sexual Roleplay Forum before you put yourself out there alone. Introduce yourself in the Rick's Cafe thread or an SRP thread of your own, and if you find a writing partner you're comfortable with, you can pretend for a while that nobody's reading the story but the two of you. It only took me 2 years to progress from roleplays to my first story submission.

 

[logophile]

I'm not embarassed when I'm writing. I am sometimes embarassed when someone I know reads my work. Leaves me feeling very... exposed.

 

[Belegon]

I don't get embarressed writing. I have gotten embarressed when people were reading...

 

[cantdog]

My very wise daughter refuses to read me here. "There's something about it," she says. "I just don't want to read my dad's porn."

 

[angela146]

Gawd, Angela, deah, that's pretty fierce stuff.

What, the cock ramming or the alliteration?

 

[scheherazade_79]

Embarrassed? Nah!

At first I really couldn't care less, because I knew that no one who read my stories would know it was the RL me who'd written them. Then all the positive feedback kind of went to my head, and I suddenly started thinking, "Wow! I can get women wet with my imagination and my words!" These days I just feel proud of my sex scenes. My highest-rating story has almost 25,000 views. Even if only 50% of the women who read it got wet, that's still an awful lot of women I've managed to turn on over a couple of months

You have to think about it that way, Mythrana - and be careful your head doesn't swell as much as mine!

 

[cantdog]

What, the cock ramming or the alliteration?

The manhood thing and the alliteration. I shake the noggin in disbelieving amazement. I do hope she knows you're exaggerating, it would be a black mark to have misdirected a budding author.

 

[impressive]

Embarrassed? Um, no. Wet? Hell, yeah!

I'll admit to holding my breath the first time I let a RL friend read my work. It wasn't because I thought the work was not good, though. It was because I really, really, really wanted her to "enjoy" it. (She did.)

 

[sun_lover_61]

me too!

Dear Mythrana,

I too have a problem with explicit sex. I am not embarrased (Watch this - pussy, weapon, genitals, big tits. See, no embarrassment!). Yet, all my scribblings seem to be about everything leading up to the act itself, then jump frustratingly to a blissful post-orgasmic scene.

Why? I don't know. When I write sex i feel that it is 3rd rate porn that has been written a trillion times before. When I write about people i feel, with my uniquely psychotic world view, that I have something to say.

I write for myself. I think, when i get the courage to post it its gonna piss a lot of people off.

SL 61

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Dear Mythrana,

I too have a problem with explicit sex. I am not embarrased (Watch this - pussy, weapon, genitals, big tits. See, no embarrassment!). Yet, all my scribblings seem to be about everything leading up to the act itself, then jump frustratingly to a blissful post-orgasmic scene.

I'm going to guess you're female, because this is one of those things that's supposed to differentiate female porn from male porn: in female porn, the climax of the story comes when the woman agrees to have sex. The story ends just when the bedroom door closes. In male porn, the climax of the story coincides to the physical climax. Men like to see the act, women like the seduction.

I like them both, but when it comes to writing seductions and playing with sexual tension, the best stuff I've seen is always written by women: nuanced, prolonged, clever, like super-extended foreplay.

I don't know why women shy away from the graphic depiction of the act, but it probably has something to do with the way women also see more humor in sex than men do. The act is absurd, but it's very serious to most guys. Women can laugh at sex; men rarely do, unless they're laughing at some other guy.

 

[sun_lover_61]

I'm going to guess you're female

Guess what doc, I am a guy!

 

[sun_lover_61]

...and a technophobic neo-Luddite. i don't know how to do the "quote thing".

 

[yui]

Well, that's true. I've read some porn that made me embarrassed to be a human being. I've read some non-porn too that made me feel the same way.

Come to think of it, embarrassment is probably a writer's worst nightmare. Not for being dirty, but for just being embarrassing. Isn't that what we're all afraid of?

It's my fear. Egomaniacal or not, when I put something I've written out there, it's like I'm standing butt-naked, soul-naked, at the entrance to The Magic Kingdom saying, "Hurt me, please."

...and a technophobic neo-Luddite. i don't know how to do the "quote thing".

Hi sun_lover,

Welcome to the AH (if I haven't already said it)! Regarding quoting, just click on the word "quote" in the lower right hand corner of the dialogue box.

Luck to you,

Yui