Do you ever feel used????
- Thread starter Nicole
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Mystery Man
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Plenty of time....although it depends what for...
That's why i tend to watch people i meet very carefully now before i decide how i should treat them.
That's why i tend to watch people i meet very carefully now before i decide how i should treat them.
CelestialBody
Starlet of India
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Forget about it.
CelestialBody
Starlet of India
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Re: Forget about it.
CoolCucumber
The Non-Vegetarian Veggie
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Yeah, I've felt used. I don't know how to explain how I dealt with it though, because it eats at you. You have to distance yourself, I guess. But I know I hated it. No one likes being used, for anything.
-CoolCucumber
-CoolCucumber
CelestialBody
Starlet of India
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Whispersecret
Clandestine Sex-pressionist
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If someone uses you once, there's little you can do about it. If someone uses you over and over, it's your fault as much as it is theirs.
Nicole, you're a giver. You have to look at yourself and realize that you don't have to be everything to everyone. Have some self-respect and stop letting that person use you. It will be difficult, but you'll feel better about yourself afterward.
Nicole, you're a giver. You have to look at yourself and realize that you don't have to be everything to everyone. Have some self-respect and stop letting that person use you. It will be difficult, but you'll feel better about yourself afterward.
CelestialBody
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teresafannin
One who hears the Music
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I have felt used, but I don't allow it to happen any longer. I have spent the greater part of my life taking care of everyone else. I am finally learning to take care of me. My circle of friends is much smaller than it used to be,as I am not so trusting as I was 18 months ago. I think whispersecret has it exactly right. If you really feel used, walk away now, before it gets any more difficult.
CelestialBody
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DevilMayCare
Literotica Guru
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Nicole said:
You go right to the heart of the problem. It's a guaranteed feature of these kinds of relationships that the person being dumped on keeps coming back for more. Its always sad to see it happen to a friend, but no one can change that behavior except for the person doing it. You might want to examine Nicole, what it is about being mistreated that is rewarding or gratifying to you. You must be getting some kind of payoff to continue in a messy relationship. Just don't tell us he's so cool (when he's not dumping on you.) It may be familiar even bizarrely comfortable, but that doesn't mean it makes sense to keep repeating such a hurtful process. No one deserves to be mistreated my dear. And that includes you.
It has nothing to do with a "him", I'm more than happy with "him", although we have our times like any relationship.
I just needed to know how others dealt with it.
I'm not one to "walk away". Even if it's me that's being used.
Sad person aren't I?
I just needed to know how others dealt with it.
I'm not one to "walk away". Even if it's me that's being used.
Sad person aren't I?
CelestialBody
Starlet of India
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Nicole said:
Sounds like me. Take it a day at a time, and really think about what has happened and what may happen. If you don't want to walk away because you believe it is in your best interest than you need to decide how you're going to overcome the current issue. Be it rationalizing, working it out of your system like CB, or just forgetting about it, its your choice.
Myself personally, I normally get pissed, vent, go run for awhile, then I'll think about how I let it happen, see what I did in the whole situation and then I'll see whether or not the person can be forgiven or if I want to forgive. When I do forgive, its quick and I move on. When I don't, I move that person to the periphery of my life or completely out of it.
As I stated earlier, I too am the type of person who refuses to walk away, but by no mean do I consider it a weakness. I consider my stubborness a strength and I believe its a benifit that I can see the good in people and situations as well as to be able to give second chances.
Good luck.
Whispersecret
Clandestine Sex-pressionist
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Stubborness can be a strength, yes. But if it chains you to a situation where you're being unfairly used, then it's a weakness. The trick is being able to recognize which is which, and then being strong enough to stop it.
People who are comfortable being the victim will always draw the users until they develop a strong enough desire to no longer be victimized.
Nicole, if you don't want to walk away yet, then you won't. (You know that I will tell you like I see it, without sugar-coating it, sweetie.) The day may come someday when you'll be pushed so far by the user that you may just break free. Then again, maybe it won't. It's all up to you. We can't really help you all that much.
I wish you the best. I offer you my positive thoughts. Be strong(er.)
People who are comfortable being the victim will always draw the users until they develop a strong enough desire to no longer be victimized.
Nicole, if you don't want to walk away yet, then you won't. (You know that I will tell you like I see it, without sugar-coating it, sweetie.) The day may come someday when you'll be pushed so far by the user that you may just break free. Then again, maybe it won't. It's all up to you. We can't really help you all that much.
I wish you the best. I offer you my positive thoughts. Be strong(er.)
Whisper, thanks, I truly believe you are going to tell me what I need to be told and not what I want to be told. Thanks.
I know I need to grow stronger, I realise that and I do feel I'm standing up for myself a lot more than I used to. I just feel very used by certain people at times, I guess like we all do.
I don't know what to tell you all, as I don't like to bring my personal problems to people, I just needed to know how some of you dealt with the feeling. I would however, like to thank the people that responded to me with their own dealings, I think I know now what I need to do.
Thanks again.
I know I need to grow stronger, I realise that and I do feel I'm standing up for myself a lot more than I used to. I just feel very used by certain people at times, I guess like we all do.
I don't know what to tell you all, as I don't like to bring my personal problems to people, I just needed to know how some of you dealt with the feeling. I would however, like to thank the people that responded to me with their own dealings, I think I know now what I need to do.
Thanks again.
fgarvb1
We are in for it now.
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Used,ripped off and abused
and had no ideal or not much of one for almost four years.
Saying love is blind will not cover all of it. She's good,
real good. She fooled me as well as people who had known her for most of her life. I have looked upon some mean and cruel people in my time; But until her i had never crossed the path of someone truly evil. Thinking of how much life insurance i carried on me at the time makes me break out into a cold sweat. By the grace of God...
and had no ideal or not much of one for almost four years.
Saying love is blind will not cover all of it. She's good,
real good. She fooled me as well as people who had known her for most of her life. I have looked upon some mean and cruel people in my time; But until her i had never crossed the path of someone truly evil. Thinking of how much life insurance i carried on me at the time makes me break out into a cold sweat. By the grace of God...
Gingersnap
Stoopid
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It is really easy to fall into the trap of giving someone "one more chance". It does no good if you are giving that chance to someone who hasn't a clue.
Now is the time Nicole to tell that person how you feel. I am not saying piss and moan about how your feelings are hurt . I mean a calm catalog of actions and emotions. Do not allow your points to be deflected by charm or guile. They are feelings and cannot be debated. How the person reacts will tell you all you need to know. If they are just going through a neeedy phase of life and did not realize that is one thing. It sounds however this might have been a pattern since the inception of the relationship. Be brave sweet Nicole you deserve good things and good people!!
Now is the time Nicole to tell that person how you feel. I am not saying piss and moan about how your feelings are hurt . I mean a calm catalog of actions and emotions. Do not allow your points to be deflected by charm or guile. They are feelings and cannot be debated. How the person reacts will tell you all you need to know. If they are just going through a neeedy phase of life and did not realize that is one thing. It sounds however this might have been a pattern since the inception of the relationship. Be brave sweet Nicole you deserve good things and good people!!
