Prince Romeo
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Is it an integral part of you? Is it your identity or is just a part of who you are. I'm really curious about the 24/7 situation. I would think you/they would be consumed by role.
Do you define yourself by your BDSM?
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lark sparrow
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Prince Romeo said:
Yes, I would say it is an integral part of who I am.
There has been a thread of D/s and S/M from the beginning of my sexualization, and power/control have been charged subjects for me for a long time.
Our plans are to move to a live-in 24/7 situation.
Exactly how that will look for us is yet to be seen, but what it includes now and will include then is that She is my Dominant first and foremost, before lover, friend, partner - D/s is the foundation. That's how we started, and it's a basic premise and expectation of the relationship.
It doesn't mean we don't have fun and joke and do all the 'nilla things everyone else does, but She expects respect and submission from me, and She makes the rules of the relationship. If She truly doesn't find something funny, it's not. If She really likes something, it remains. If She prefers something done a certain way, that's the right way to do it. I can express my feelings, and She will consider them, but the final analysis and decision are Hers.
Sometimes I am really consumed w/BDSM... and in all honesty there are ocassionally days when I think "What in the heck am I doing? What does all this mean? I can't even fathom it today!"... in the end, either way, I am still her submissive, and She is still my Dominant.
G
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I believe that a 24/7 D/s relationship is a myth. I am submissive. It is a part of who I am, but it is not *all* of who I am. My Man is my Dominant. We don't "role play" D/s 24/7, though.
To be in a D/s relationship 24/7, the Dom/me would have to control every second of Their sub's life. They would tell them what to wear that day, how they're allowed to act, how they can spend their free time (if they work, etc.), and so on.
I have chatted with many P/people on both ends of the spectrum and most of U/us have agreed it would be too time consuming and virtually impossible to live this way each day.
So, even though I don't "believe in" 24/7 D/s, I know I am a passive and subserviant person...have been all my life.
To be in a D/s relationship 24/7, the Dom/me would have to control every second of Their sub's life. They would tell them what to wear that day, how they're allowed to act, how they can spend their free time (if they work, etc.), and so on.
I have chatted with many P/people on both ends of the spectrum and most of U/us have agreed it would be too time consuming and virtually impossible to live this way each day.
So, even though I don't "believe in" 24/7 D/s, I know I am a passive and subserviant person...have been all my life.
Desdemona
Ellie Mae's evil auntie
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Blessed Be, you might consider that some couples in a 24/7 have predetermined rules that govern the small mundane aspects of everyday life. Why limit yourself to a single definition when really, we are talking about a relationship? All couples define their unique relationships to suit themselves. That holds true in power exchange relationships as well.
I respect your right to have a differing opinion, but suggesting that 24/7 TPE is a myth is bound to ruffle a few feathers.
I respect your right to have a differing opinion, but suggesting that 24/7 TPE is a myth is bound to ruffle a few feathers.
G
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Desdemona said:
So be it. I am entitled to my opinion just as anyone else here is.
lark sparrow
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BlessedBe said:
This is her definition of the term 24/7, D/s. As long as she and everyone else understands that, then so be it.
Afterall, I believe in 24/7 without constant supervision, but I don't believe in saying "I know I am a passive and subserviant person...have been all my life." while I am trying to define the realities of other's relationships.
I related this definition to my Domme, and She said That is ridiculous, I would hope you know how to dress yourself and decide some things for yourself because I am not going to hover 24/7.
To each their own, but my Domme has spoken... that's my reality
Desdemona
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lark sparrow said:This is her definition of the term 24/7, D/s. As long as she and everyone else understands that, then so be it.
Afterall, I believe in 24/7 without constant supervision, but I don't believe in saying "I know I am a passive and subserviant person...have been all my life." while I am trying to define the realities of other's relationships.
I related this definition to my Domme, and She said That is ridiculous, I would hope you know how to dress yourself and decide some things for yourself because I am not going to hover 24/7.
To each their own, but my Domme has spoken... that's my reality
Exactly.
MasterKensbeany
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Role playing
Blessed Be, yours is not the first post I've read that claimed that D/s is role playing. For many I'm sure that's true and if that's what works for them, that's great. However, there are people out here for whom it is not a just a kinky game, its a way of life. While I do know some who are into TPE fulltime, 24/7 for Master and I that is simply too exhausting and time consuming. I'm not a child and Master doesn't want or need a child, he expects me to handle everyday decisions and occurances without running to him.
That said, I handle those things within the guidelines and rules laid out by him. Unless it was an extreme emergencey, anything not covered by his rules is discussed with him and he makes the final decisions. He may listen to my input or he may not, that's up to him too. I abide by his decisions, I live my life within the framework of his domination.
Our relationship is Dominant/submissive, it is not something we put on to play and take off when playtime is over. It wouldn't work for everyone but then, it only has to work for us.
Respectfully
beany
Blessed Be, yours is not the first post I've read that claimed that D/s is role playing. For many I'm sure that's true and if that's what works for them, that's great. However, there are people out here for whom it is not a just a kinky game, its a way of life. While I do know some who are into TPE fulltime, 24/7 for Master and I that is simply too exhausting and time consuming. I'm not a child and Master doesn't want or need a child, he expects me to handle everyday decisions and occurances without running to him.
That said, I handle those things within the guidelines and rules laid out by him. Unless it was an extreme emergencey, anything not covered by his rules is discussed with him and he makes the final decisions. He may listen to my input or he may not, that's up to him too. I abide by his decisions, I live my life within the framework of his domination.
Our relationship is Dominant/submissive, it is not something we put on to play and take off when playtime is over. It wouldn't work for everyone but then, it only has to work for us.
Respectfully
beany
Justina123
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24/7 Dynamics
This is a fascinating thread for me to follow, because right now Sir and I are "24/7" from Friday evening to Sunday evening, then he has to return to his place about an 1 1/4 hours away for the work week. Also, I have kids, so this adds into the mix of how much "dom/sub" we can openly do together when he is here. (Not to mention all the dynamics of easing my children into the idea of a man around who Mommy defers to and whose decisions must be followed....this really takes time and we're, as I said, easing into it....)
We have discussed that, as He put it, it would be impossible to maintain a "full intensity" dom/sub relationship on a 24/7 basis, esp. when we both have demanding high-paced jobs, there are kids involved, etc. But nevertheless, we both are what we are, the dom/sub roles are not "played", they just come naturally. I really appreciated the comments above about the Dom/me expecting the sub to have enough intelligence for the day-to-day decisions...though I assume if the Dominant wished to overrule on something, it is a given that could happen.
Anyway, no pearls of wisdom here, but the hope that anyone out there who has made this transition will throw in anything else they have learned along these lines. Or perhaps one of you lit veterans know of a previous thread?
Thanks so much,
justina
This is a fascinating thread for me to follow, because right now Sir and I are "24/7" from Friday evening to Sunday evening, then he has to return to his place about an 1 1/4 hours away for the work week. Also, I have kids, so this adds into the mix of how much "dom/sub" we can openly do together when he is here. (Not to mention all the dynamics of easing my children into the idea of a man around who Mommy defers to and whose decisions must be followed....this really takes time and we're, as I said, easing into it....)
We have discussed that, as He put it, it would be impossible to maintain a "full intensity" dom/sub relationship on a 24/7 basis, esp. when we both have demanding high-paced jobs, there are kids involved, etc. But nevertheless, we both are what we are, the dom/sub roles are not "played", they just come naturally. I really appreciated the comments above about the Dom/me expecting the sub to have enough intelligence for the day-to-day decisions...though I assume if the Dominant wished to overrule on something, it is a given that could happen.
Anyway, no pearls of wisdom here, but the hope that anyone out there who has made this transition will throw in anything else they have learned along these lines. Or perhaps one of you lit veterans know of a previous thread?
Thanks so much,
justina
silken_kitten
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I am in a 24/7 D/s relationship. My Master does not choose what I am to wear or how I am to act at work. Though when at home he does modify everything about my clothing and what else pleases him. Though we are involved in LARP (live action role playing) that is a game. And even in that game I listen to him. So yes D/s does consume a greater majority of my life. All aspects but my job which Master knows that he can't really hold control though he can always tell me to call in if I'm being stubborn and sick at the time and still want to go in. Because I am jeapordizing the health of what he owns.
Prince Romeo
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Fascinating! Thanks for sharing everyone.
lilredwolph
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i lived 24/7 for 7 yrs, my Dom did not have to tell me how to dress every morning because there was nothing in my closet that he himself didn't pick out. he didn't have to hover over me at all times because i knew the rules and followed them. when i went to work i knew before hand how to handle it because the rules were laid out long before any situation surfaced.
24/7 only works within the guide lines of rules, if you can't/don't follow the rule set forth than your not going to make it 24/7. and little unruled things very very rarely pop up and if they do abit of common sense and knowing your Dom/me and what is expected of you normally will give you the correct answer to the situation
24/7 only works within the guide lines of rules, if you can't/don't follow the rule set forth than your not going to make it 24/7. and little unruled things very very rarely pop up and if they do abit of common sense and knowing your Dom/me and what is expected of you normally will give you the correct answer to the situation
G
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MasterKensbeany said:
I never actually said D/s "was" role playing. I know better than that. It wouldn't be such a big part of my life if it were "only a role play".
MasterKensbeany
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Blessed Be stated:
I apologize if I misintrepreted this Blessed Be. I'm not sure what exactly you were saying.
Respectfully
beany
I apologize if I misintrepreted this Blessed Be. I'm not sure what exactly you were saying.
Respectfully
beany
Ebonyfire
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YMMV
Your mileage may vary,
It doesn't matter what an outsider's opinion may be. It is up to the people involved to define their own reality.
That is one of the main reasons I keep the details of my personal relationships with my subs mostly private.
I do not give a rat's ass what others may think.
As the Isley Brothers say "It's your thing, do what you want to do. I can't tell you, who to sock it to!"
And you definitely can't tell me who to sock it to.
Eb
Your mileage may vary,
It doesn't matter what an outsider's opinion may be. It is up to the people involved to define their own reality.
That is one of the main reasons I keep the details of my personal relationships with my subs mostly private.
I do not give a rat's ass what others may think.
As the Isley Brothers say "It's your thing, do what you want to do. I can't tell you, who to sock it to!"
And you definitely can't tell me who to sock it to.
Eb
SensitiveSuccubus
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Also, consider defining yourself by your BDSM not just in terms of whether you're 24/7 or not, but how personally you take the way you play.
If you have particular methods or patterns, its hard to adjust to new ones. I think most people here would loathe to be lumped into a category when different people have different methods.
What I like, and the mechanics I use, are different from the next Dom, and I would define myself that way if I were to display subs using methods that are my own. A signature if you will. Each Dom(me) has a unique signature, and I would want people to identify me by that signature. Maybe not personify me by those methods, but certainly be able to identify my work.
A tangent on which to dwell.
If you have particular methods or patterns, its hard to adjust to new ones. I think most people here would loathe to be lumped into a category when different people have different methods.
What I like, and the mechanics I use, are different from the next Dom, and I would define myself that way if I were to display subs using methods that are my own. A signature if you will. Each Dom(me) has a unique signature, and I would want people to identify me by that signature. Maybe not personify me by those methods, but certainly be able to identify my work.
A tangent on which to dwell.
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