do you care how many sexual partners
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southern_gal
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No, his/our past is too far behind him/us to matter. And if we ever get to the point where we have another person join us, I will not be the jealous type. I think.
monkeyman057
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Not in the slightest. As long as she's healthy and disease free, it's none of my damn business.
I'll admit to having a certain curiousity - but the number is irrelevant. Mine is on the high side by most peoples standards. It would be enforcing a rather distasteful double standard if I were to place some arbitrary limit on what number is acceptable for her while not holding myself to the same metric.
I'll admit to having a certain curiousity - but the number is irrelevant. Mine is on the high side by most peoples standards. It would be enforcing a rather distasteful double standard if I were to place some arbitrary limit on what number is acceptable for her while not holding myself to the same metric.
southern_gal
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I used to be curious. But we have been together for so long now that more than likely I can remember more about his ex wife than he can. Not that I think about that .......harlot.......often.......damn her.
MatthewVett
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Not at all. Like others have said, it's all in the past. So long as she was safe about it, it's none of my concern.
MrSneakyinPA
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I for one am GLAD my wife spread her legs for a few ex b/f's. I wish she had pictures or video ofhr doing it though! 
Litfanman_inGB
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No but most women I've been with do. There is this double standard where they are allowed to keep in contact with past sexual partners because of some "girly feelings code". If they find out you had sex with one of your current female friends, whether it's on your facebook friend list and they're 800 miles away or in your city, in the past they get all possessive and issue the ultimatum, "It's her or me". Women are so competitive that this seems to be universally acceptable behavior to them. If a man has contact with any female he had a sexual experience with in the past, it's for nefarious purposes and the female is after their man. Either that or I just always seem to attract those types of women.
As far as her exes bothering me, there are a few I wouldn't mind beating profusely. That's more to do with fucking up her head though. After fifteen years together, she recently confided some disturbing things to me about her ex-husband and other lovers. We rarely discuss our sex life and it often results in frustration on my part, much like our sex life in general. I was given a peek into the dark reasoning for this recently but many more questions remain. Questions I'll probably have to wait another fifteen years to get answers to.
We've both had a lot of sexual experiences and I'm sure there are things she still hasn't and will probably never tell me. There are things I've withheld about my past as well, I don't think she could handle it. There has also been infidelity, way more than I'll ever really know. Again, women have this ability to make it right. Another part of that "girly feelings code". I know guys have a stupid "code" too. "Bros before hoes" translates into "I'll gladly fuck your wife/girlfriend as soon as you pass out, bro!". Been there, done that.
It's not a matter of past lovers, it's a matter of trust in your partner. If you trust your partner/significant other, it doesn't matter whom they have in their circle of friends. However, I do believe that there are certain situations that should never arise, like spending the night out and away from home with a former lover or a member of the opposite sex. Period. If it's unacceptable for one, it's unacceptable for both.
As far as her exes bothering me, there are a few I wouldn't mind beating profusely. That's more to do with fucking up her head though. After fifteen years together, she recently confided some disturbing things to me about her ex-husband and other lovers. We rarely discuss our sex life and it often results in frustration on my part, much like our sex life in general. I was given a peek into the dark reasoning for this recently but many more questions remain. Questions I'll probably have to wait another fifteen years to get answers to.
We've both had a lot of sexual experiences and I'm sure there are things she still hasn't and will probably never tell me. There are things I've withheld about my past as well, I don't think she could handle it. There has also been infidelity, way more than I'll ever really know. Again, women have this ability to make it right. Another part of that "girly feelings code". I know guys have a stupid "code" too. "Bros before hoes" translates into "I'll gladly fuck your wife/girlfriend as soon as you pass out, bro!". Been there, done that.
It's not a matter of past lovers, it's a matter of trust in your partner. If you trust your partner/significant other, it doesn't matter whom they have in their circle of friends. However, I do believe that there are certain situations that should never arise, like spending the night out and away from home with a former lover or a member of the opposite sex. Period. If it's unacceptable for one, it's unacceptable for both.
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monkeyman057
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No but most women I've been with do. There is this double standard where they are allowed to keep in contact with past sexual partners because of some "girly feelings code". If they find out you had sex with one of your current female friends, whether it's on your facebook friend list and they're 800 miles away or in your city, in the past they get all possessive and issue the ultimatum, "It's her or me". Women are so competitive that this seems to be universally acceptable behavior to them. If a man has contact with any female he had a sexual experience with in the past, it's for nefarious purposes and the female is after their man. Either that or I just always seem to attract those types of women.
As far as her exes bothering me, there are a few I wouldn't mind beating profusely. That's more to do with fucking up her head though. After fifteen years together, she recently confided some disturbing things to me about her ex-husband and other lovers. We rarely discuss our sex life and it often results in frustration on my part, much like our sex life in general. I was given a peek into the dark reasoning for this recently but many more questions remain. Questions I'll probably have to wait another fifteen years to get answers to.
We've both had a lot of sexual experiences and I'm sure there are things she still hasn't and will probably never tell me. There are things I've withheld about my past as well, I don't think she could handle it. There has also been infidelity, way more than I'll ever really know. Again, women have this ability to make it right. Another part of that "girly feelings code". I know guys have a stupid "code" too. "Bros before hoes" translates into "I'll gladly fuck your wife/girlfriend as soon as you pass out, bro!". Been there, done that.
It's not a matter of past lovers, it's a matter of trust in your partner. If you trust your partner/significant other, it doesn't matter whom they have in their circle of friends. However, I do believe that there are certain situations that should never arise, like spending the night out and away from home with a former lover or a member of the opposite sex. Period. If it's unacceptable for one, it's unacceptable for both.
I don't think I could handle that kind of relationship. I can understand not wanting to open up to someone at first, but I sincerely hope that my wife doesn't drop some deep personality defining confessions in my lap after we've been married for 15 years. I think I would feel kind of betrayed in a way. I would wonder, 'Holy shit! What else is she not telling me?' That's just bad mojo.
Personally, I feel kind of obligated to share with her whatever she wants to know, or at least those things that have happened in my life that had a significant impact on who I am and why I do the things that I do. I really hope she feels the same way. How are you to really know someone if you don't know those things?
You're right though - it's about trust. I hope it all comes to light for you Litfanman.
Biker_Type
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interesting question, if you want a good partner wouldn't one with more experience be a better choice?
that said, my OL
and i were both very experienced when we met (i was 51 she was 44). more than a few miles on both of us, oddly we both became sexually active at the same age (14). nothing we can't talk about and we agreed on nearly everything we liked and more important waht was totally unacceptable.
that said, my OL
and i were both very experienced when we met (i was 51 she was 44). more than a few miles on both of us, oddly we both became sexually active at the same age (14). nothing we can't talk about and we agreed on nearly everything we liked and more important waht was totally unacceptable.
lovecraft68
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Why is he a d-bag? He's obliviously got a voyeuristic streak or perhaps he and his partner are "open"
A person having a different set of "morals" than you doesn't make him a d-bag.
To answer your question, no it does not matter to me. That's 12 year old shit. I mean what would be next? Wondering if they had a biggercock than I do? because in all honesty that is the first thing any guy who has issue with another man having "been there" would worry about.
And women can be just as insecure.
Jealousy is an ugly emotion and to me "don't ask, don't tell" is a decent policy. I think people eventually discuss it, but it shouldn't matter. What matters is who you're with now.
Aurelia_Malys
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First, I agree ^^^
Next, to the question at hand .... no, I don't care how many partners he had ... I am intrigued by everything about him and am interested to know whatever he wants to tell me, but I am not jealous or worried or insecure about it at all.
AdjectiveNounVerb
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I prefer not to think about her sexual past because it's so much fuller, in terms of number of partners and types of experiences, than mine. Leaves me envious of her, which is no good, plus it means picking at old wounds in my mind, which is really worse.
HornyVikingMN
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Not for polite conversation...
I was just listening to a podcast called "Sex with Emily" (iTunes, or on her web site) today, and she and her male co-host were discussing this topic. Her advice, for what it's worth, is to NEVER answer the "how many" question. There's very little in the way of positive things that can come from it. No matter what the answer, it just provokes more questions, and fueling more insecurities.
They also suggested sharing as little as possible about past loves. Not to withhold secrets, but to avoid unnecessary uncomfortable moments. The exception is when something about an ex is relevant to the current relationship - sexual trauma, controlling behaviors, etc.
My hunch is that these things are only viewed as important early in a relationship. If you've dated or been married for a long time, why does it matter how many or how good or how big?
I was just listening to a podcast called "Sex with Emily" (iTunes, or on her web site) today, and she and her male co-host were discussing this topic. Her advice, for what it's worth, is to NEVER answer the "how many" question. There's very little in the way of positive things that can come from it. No matter what the answer, it just provokes more questions, and fueling more insecurities.
They also suggested sharing as little as possible about past loves. Not to withhold secrets, but to avoid unnecessary uncomfortable moments. The exception is when something about an ex is relevant to the current relationship - sexual trauma, controlling behaviors, etc.
My hunch is that these things are only viewed as important early in a relationship. If you've dated or been married for a long time, why does it matter how many or how good or how big?
lovecraft68
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Uh-oh, somebodies pulling a hissy.
Actually I think this is a pretty decent topic. I'm enjoying the different takes here.
lovecraft68
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Don't sweat it, shit happens. Is a good question though.
Emerson40
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Beck31, it seems you have been dropping the "douchebags" and venting a storm today.
Maybe take a break. Have a glass of wine or go for a walk.
It's just weird cause everyplace I've noticed you going off has been to replies to threads that you started. Its like your setting yourself up to blow your top.
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