scheherazade_79
Steamy
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2003
- Posts
- 9,677
This evening I went to Tesco's to get some Calpol 12+ for myself. Halfway around the store I felt something drop down what little cleavage I have. Then more things started to drop - down my neck, my sleeves, my back and even down the back of my panties.
To my horror, it turned out that my ultra cool surf chick wooden necklace had broken, and there were literally hundreds of tiny beads scattering onto the floor. It was like leaving a trail of crumbs through a forest, and I had to take refuge in the women's clothes section to remove a bead that had begun to chafe the crack of my arse.
I thought everything was fine until I stumbled across a particularly nasty scene by the bread section. An old lady had fallen and she was giving one of the shop workers absolute hell for it - complaining that they weren't doing enough to keep the store clean, and recounting a recent hip replacement procedure in graphic detail...
So like most people, I decided to stand and watch her being thoroughly obnoxious. Then she pointed to something on the floor, which apparently was to blame for her slip... It was one of my beads. I said nothing, and walked by with my hand clamped around one knee to stop any telltale beads from escaping as I went past.
And then I got stopped by the police. It wasn't anything dramatic - no flashing lights or sirens. I wasn't speeding, and there was nothing wrong with my car. They just wanted to know if I travelled that road often at that time of night, and whether I'd witnessed an accident that happened last night.
It could have been a dream come true. I was approached by a really beautiful blonde policewoman, who was very sexy in a don't-fuck-with-me kind of way. I'll be honest - I fancied the pants off her, and under normal circumstances my jaw would have dropped.
But there was nothing normal about these circumstances... Just ten seconds previously I'd decided to go for the world record in how many Galaxy Minstrels I could fit into my mouth. I don't know how close I came to smashing it, but when I wound down the window to answer the policewoman's questions, my mouth was so crammed that I couldn't even close it.
She was very professional about it, and although an expression of alarm flashed across her eyes, she pretended that she hadn't noticed that I looked like a hamster stocking up for a long, hard winter.
I answered her question with nods of the head. I so desperately wanted to say something really witty to impress her... but by the time I'd swallowed the chocolate morass, she'd already turned her back and walked away.
I can deal with the bead incident, because it sounded like that old lady was a bitch anyway. But the wasted opportunity with the policewoman... It brings tears to my eyes. It still hasn't put me off Minstrels, though. I had another handful as soon as I pulled off.
To my horror, it turned out that my ultra cool surf chick wooden necklace had broken, and there were literally hundreds of tiny beads scattering onto the floor. It was like leaving a trail of crumbs through a forest, and I had to take refuge in the women's clothes section to remove a bead that had begun to chafe the crack of my arse.
I thought everything was fine until I stumbled across a particularly nasty scene by the bread section. An old lady had fallen and she was giving one of the shop workers absolute hell for it - complaining that they weren't doing enough to keep the store clean, and recounting a recent hip replacement procedure in graphic detail...
So like most people, I decided to stand and watch her being thoroughly obnoxious. Then she pointed to something on the floor, which apparently was to blame for her slip... It was one of my beads. I said nothing, and walked by with my hand clamped around one knee to stop any telltale beads from escaping as I went past.
And then I got stopped by the police. It wasn't anything dramatic - no flashing lights or sirens. I wasn't speeding, and there was nothing wrong with my car. They just wanted to know if I travelled that road often at that time of night, and whether I'd witnessed an accident that happened last night.
It could have been a dream come true. I was approached by a really beautiful blonde policewoman, who was very sexy in a don't-fuck-with-me kind of way. I'll be honest - I fancied the pants off her, and under normal circumstances my jaw would have dropped.
But there was nothing normal about these circumstances... Just ten seconds previously I'd decided to go for the world record in how many Galaxy Minstrels I could fit into my mouth. I don't know how close I came to smashing it, but when I wound down the window to answer the policewoman's questions, my mouth was so crammed that I couldn't even close it.
She was very professional about it, and although an expression of alarm flashed across her eyes, she pretended that she hadn't noticed that I looked like a hamster stocking up for a long, hard winter.
I answered her question with nods of the head. I so desperately wanted to say something really witty to impress her... but by the time I'd swallowed the chocolate morass, she'd already turned her back and walked away.
I can deal with the bead incident, because it sounded like that old lady was a bitch anyway. But the wasted opportunity with the policewoman... It brings tears to my eyes. It still hasn't put me off Minstrels, though. I had another handful as soon as I pulled off.
Thank goodness you were blessed with the ability to tell the stories as well, or we'd be missing out on so much. 
Thanks.
