Do people in BDSM relationships date differently from vanilla couples?

[Dhabidommetrix]

Well often, yes. Consent, boundaries, and intention are discussed much earlier.

How has kink shaped your dating experiences?

Cheers

 

[TwystedDzyre]

Kink certainly has had the effect of making me very bold (almost to the point of shamelessness) when expressing my needs, expectations as part of conveying sexual proposal to my dates. I got into practicing kink/BDSM quite early in life.

You're right on! The discussions of consent etc. come up quite early.

Also, being a regular practitioner of BDSM makes one automatically behave during dating or non-sex moments according to what is one's persona during BDSM -- that is, dominant partner in BDSM starts to behave dominantly routinely, and the submissive partner in BDSM starts to behave submissively routinely as well.

 

[Mrs_and_mr]

Well often, yes. Consent, boundaries, and intention are discussed much earlier.

How has kink shaped your dating experiences?

Cheers

I’m married now to a beautiful Domme. But dating was horrible. My first real relationship was a BDSM sub/domme relationship. That’s where I learned to relationship. It’s lasted a few years. When I started dating again I learned real quick to hide my true self but it never lasted for too long. Then I met another Domme and she was evil, I didn’t realize it at first because I was so happy finding her. So I lasted as long as I could in that relationship. Then it was back to finding someone new. When dating it’s like you’re hiding and testing the water so often. I got tired of it real quick. Then next lady I met was really cool and I just told her. She said I know. We dated for a little while but she wasn’t really in to it she just wanted to have fun a play the Domme. But in the end she introduced me to my wife.

 

[Dhabidommetrix]

I’m married not to a beautiful Domme. But dating was horrible. My first real relationship was a BDSM sub/domme relationship. That’s where I learned to relationship. It’s lasted a few years. When I started dating again I learned real quick to hide my true self but it never lasted for too long. Then I met another Domme and she was evil, I didn’t realize it at first because I was so happy finding her. So I lasted as long as I could in that relationship. Then it was back to finding someone new. When dating it’s like you’re hiding and testing the water so often. I got tired of it real quick. Then next lady I met was really cool and I just told her. She said I know. We dated for a little while but she wasn’t really in to it she just wanted to have fun a play the Domme. But in the end she introduced me to my wife.

Love this. You're a lucky man.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Agreed. A mutually fulfilling D/S relationship, especially a female-led one, is a beautiful and precious thing, and sadly, a rare thing. I've been searching for this all of my life, and have mostly resigned to dating in the vanilla world and doing all I can psychologically to hide my "true" submissive and kinky self.