Do fantasies have to be unrealistic?

[calypso_21]

What is your fantasy? (this scene caught my attention in the movie I watched last night) Do you fantasize about winning the lottery? Having group sex? A job as a rock star? A romantic interlude on a beach at sunset? Your ideal mate?

What is your fantasy?

Does your fantasy have to remain unattainable for it to be a true fantasy?

Is it worth it to you to have your fantasy become real?

What would you do to make that happen?

Will it be as good?


Do you prefer to hold on to the fantasy you've created rather than knowing if it will surpass your dreams or possibly fall short?


Have you ever had your fantasy actualized?

If so, did it live up to the potential you had created in it?

If you haven't, do you continue to hold on to it and build on it or create new ones, etc.?



As always curious.

 

[Saint Peter]

Sexual fantasies for myself need to border on reality. It is interesting to think about having sex with a Martian woman, but my brain does not buy that it will happen. If my brain does not buy it my other brain does not buy it.

Life can be so cruel.

 

[sweet soft kiss]

I kind of think the Realistic Fantasies are more like goals...

But the wilder ones... the unrealistic ones... no I don't want to see them come true... would probably spoil the attraction and I don't want to be on Social Security and have no fantasies left... I think that would make me one cranky ol lady...

 

[calypso_21]

LoL...I can see that.

I was looking at it from the perspective that you build something up so great and fantastic that when you have the opportunity to live it out maybe the fantasy is more important than the actualizing...maybe fear comes into play?

 

[calypso_21]

I kind of think the Realistic Fantasies are more like goals...

But the wilder ones... the unrealistic ones... no I don't want to see them come true... would probably spoil the attraction and I don't want to be on Social Security and have no fantasies left... I think that would make me one cranky ol lady...

Ok...but are wild ones unrealistic? Should they be personally made unattainable? Can you say attain one and see how you like it and create a new one?

Are there limits to fantasies?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I like my fantasies to be either completely attainable, or completely unattainable...I don't like the middle ground too much, because then the possible reality can't match the fantasy.

 

[calypso_21]

I like my fantasies to be either completely attainable, or completely unattainable...I don't like the middle ground too much, because then the possible reality can't match the fantasy.

When you obtain them is it worth it?

What is middle ground here? Either you reach it or you don't. What is halfway?

 

[Summery]

Ok...but are wild ones unrealistic? Should they be personally made unattainable? Can you say attain one and see how you like it and create a new one?

Are there limits to fantasies?

I don't believe there are limits to fantasies. That is the thing about fantasies there are no limits. In my mind I create fantasies that are attainable, however dark they may be.

 

[sweet soft kiss]

Ok...but are wild ones unrealistic? Should they be personally made unattainable? Can you say attain one and see how you like it and create a new one?

Are there limits to fantasies?

Well like making love in the surf... A la From Here to Eternity... did it once... was fun, glad I did it, but certainly not earthshattering... the pleasure did not exceed the sandburned buns.... I think I would rather have kept that a fantasy... now it dosen't interest me...

A few of my wilder fantasies could get me thrown in jail for public indency... Somehow I can't imagine calling someone for bail on that one....

 

[P. B. Walker]

This is how I think about fantasies... I think they are pretty much unattainable. At the very least, they are something that you cannot just go get or try to BS your way into or even train for. You basically have to be in the right place and the right time and just be incredibly lucky. To me, if it's attainable, then it's really just a "goal", and not a fantasy.

I actually like having the fantasies I have, but I would be worried if I attained one of them. I have no doubts they would be everything I dreamed about.

PBW

 

[calypso_21]

Well like making love in the surf... A la From Here to Eternity... did it once... was fun, glad I did it, but certainly not earthshattering... the pleasure did not exceed the sandburned buns.... I think I would rather have kept that a fantasy... now it dosen't interest me...

A few of my wilder fantasies could get me thrown in jail for public indency... Somehow I can't imagine calling someone for bail on that one....

LMAO...been there done that...let you wonder which.

I myself have had fantasies of which eventually I did make them real. Not once do I wish I had kept it a mere fantasy but that is me. I turned around and created a new one. I have a rather vivid imagination so it is somewhat easy for me to fantasize in the first place.

I had what I thought was the be all and end all of sexual A la From Here To Eternity fantasies come reality but then I realized how much more interesting it could be if I were say blindfolded and tortured with some say long grass from the dunes to build up the excitement. Just an idea. One of many but you get my point.

The original fantasy while actualized now morphs into an even wilder one.

 

[ma_guy]

I sure hope fantasies aren't all unrealistic. I've been working up a good one!

 

[calypso_21]

I don't believe there are limits to fantasies. That is the thing about fantasies there are no limits. In my mind I create fantasies that are attainable, however dark they may be.

I think there are attainable and unattainable fantasies. Ones we create with the determination to live them out and ones we hold on to like a treasure hoarding it for a future perusal.

However dark they may be. I love that line!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

When you obtain them is it worth it?

What is middle ground here? Either you reach it or you don't. What is halfway?

When I get to play out a fantasy, it is almost always worth it!


By middle ground, I meant fantasies that are almost attainable...like meeting and then dreaming of a wonderful woman who lives in Alaska. I could see her, but I probably won't. It is easier to fantasize about a celebrity or something; at least my expectations aren't high.

 

[calypso_21]

This is how I think about fantasies... I think they are pretty much unattainable. At the very least, they are something that you cannot just go get or try to BS your way into or even train for. You basically have to be in the right place and the right time and just be incredibly lucky. To me, if it's attainable, then it's really just a "goal", and not a fantasy.

I actually like having the fantasies I have, but I would be worried if I attained one of them. I have no doubts they would be everything I dreamed about.

PBW

I do see your point but...can't your goal be to live out your fantasy?

 

[Summery]

I think there are attainable and unattainable fantasies. Ones we create with the determination to live them out and ones we hold on to like a treasure hoarding it for a future perusal.

However dark they may be. I love that line!

My point exactly.

 

[P. B. Walker]

I do see your point but...can't your goal be to live out your fantasy?

Mmm.. yeah... but some fantasies either just aren't meant to be or just shouldn't happen. For example, winning the lottery. That's just plain luck. You can't make that your goal... at least not reasonably, IMHO. I fantasize about cycling across America. To me, that is a goal. But say a fantasy of living with two women, well... it's a great fantasy... but it'll never happen. I can't really make that a goal either. But a fantasy about just having sex with two women... well yes, that could be a goal, because I could just go to two prostitutes and spend some money to make my fantasy a reality.

So, I guess, yes, you can make some fantasies a goal.



PBW

 

[The Heretic]

What is your fantasy?

To own my own string of Polynesian tropical islands and have a harem of Asian AV stars or beautiful French Polynesian women.

Does your fantasy have to remain unattainable for it to be a true fantasy?

No

Is it worth it to you to have your fantasy become real?

Worth what? The work to attain it? Since the probability is so low, I will settle for the occasional vacation to Tahiti.

Do you prefer to hold on to the fantasy you've created rather than knowing if it will surpass your dreams or possibly fall short?

No

Have you ever had your fantasy actualized?

No

If you haven't, do you continue to hold on to it and build on it or create new ones, etc.?

Yes and yes. There is no law that says I can't have multiple fantasies.

 

[calypso_21]

When I get to play out a fantasy, it is almost always worth it!


By middle ground, I meant fantasies that are almost attainable...like meeting and then dreaming of a wonderful woman who lives in Alaska. I could see her, but I probably won't. It is easier to fantasize about a celebrity or something; at least my expectations aren't high.

So you fantasize about a celebrity that you can't have over a woman you can have?

Or you just fantasize about the woman you can have but never actually have her? Why wouldn't you see her?

I'm confused.

 

[calypso_21]

Mmm.. yeah... but some fantasies either just aren't meant to be or just shouldn't happen. For example, winning the lottery. That's just plain luck. You can't make that your goal... at least not reasonably, IMHO. I fantasize about cycling across America. To me, that is a goal. But say a fantasy of living with two women, well... it's a great fantasy... but it'll never happen. I can't really make that a goal either. But a fantasy about just having sex with two women... well yes, that could be a goal, because I could just go to two prostitutes and spend some money to make my fantasy a reality.

So, I guess, yes, you can make some fantasies a goal.



PBW

Okay...I'm not meaning to be rude here but I'm about to pick apart your comments...


"For example, winning the lottery. That's just plain luck. You can't make that your goal... at least not reasonably, IMHO. "

If you make it a point to play every chance you can get, thereby increasing your odds of winning, you are making it your goal to eventually obtain that prize, that fantasy.

"I fantasize about cycling across America. To me, that is a goal. "

To me something that I dream of that I am not able to do right at this very moment is a fantasy: "An imagined event or sequence of mental images, such as a daydream, usually fulfilling a wish or psychological need".

So if you can't cycle across America right now it is a fantasy it is an imagined event...but one that could be a reality.

"But say a fantasy of living with two women, well... it's a great fantasy... but it'll never happen."

With a negative attitude like that you're right it never will! Visualize baby! Make it a reality if you really want to.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

So you fantasize about a celebrity that you can't have over a woman you can have?

Or you just fantasize about the woman you can have but never actually have her? Why wouldn't you see her?

I'm confused.

LOL, its perfectly clear to me!!

OK, imagine a fantasy that is a pure fantasy, about someone who is unattainable no matter what you do, like a celebrity. You can enjoy it, knowing that it will never ever come true, and you can appreciate it for what it is.

Now, imagine that same fantasy with your SO, you can go home and get it, even if it might take some convincing. The object of your desire is attainable, and the fantasy can be appreciated as some mental foreplay.

Same fantasy, with a married co-worker. Attainable, but full of difficulty and risk. It would be so easy to make an attepmt at it, but it is too risky to do, so you try to put it out of your head. But, every time you see them, you are frustrated by the fantasy that could come true, but likely never will.


I hope that makes sense, because my fngers are starting to hurt from all the typing and masturbation.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Okay...I'm not meaning to be rude here but I'm about to pick apart your comments...


"For example, winning the lottery. That's just plain luck. You can't make that your goal... at least not reasonably, IMHO. "

If you make it a point to play every chance you can get, thereby increasing your odds of winning, you are making it your goal to eventually obtain that prize, that fantasy.

"I fantasize about cycling across America. To me, that is a goal. "

To me something that I dream of that I am not able to do right at this very moment is a fantasy: "An imagined event or sequence of mental images, such as a daydream, usually fulfilling a wish or psychological need".

So if you can't cycle across America right now it is a fantasy it is an imagined event...but one that could be a reality.

"But say a fantasy of living with two women, well... it's a great fantasy... but it'll never happen."

With a negative attitude like that you're right it never will! Visualize baby! Make it a reality if you really want to.

It's not rude at all.

True I could play the lottery every chance I get, but the odds are soooo incredibly huge, that it really isn't realistic. So, I guess you can call that a goal, but I would still argue that it is still all luck.

As for the cycling across America. I could actually do that right now physically. The difficult part would be either 1) affording the time off from work, or b) saving up that much vacation. But someday I will do it, even if it is not until I retire from working.

As for a fantasy of two women... well I suppose it looks like I'm being negative, but I think I'm just being realistic But I think I'm also a pessimist at heart.

PBW

 

[calypso_21]

LOL, its perfectly clear to me!!

OK, imagine a fantasy that is a pure fantasy, about someone who is unattainable no matter what you do, like a celebrity. You can enjoy it, knowing that it will never ever come true, and you can appreciate it for what it is.

Now, imagine that same fantasy with your SO, you can go home and get it, even if it might take some convincing. The object of your desire is attainable, and the fantasy can be appreciated as some mental foreplay.

Same fantasy, with a married co-worker. Attainable, but full of difficulty and risk. It would be so easy to make an attepmt at it, but it is too risky to do, so you try to put it out of your head. But, every time you see them, you are frustrated by the fantasy that could come true, but likely never will.


I hope that makes sense, because my fngers are starting to hurt from all the typing and masturbation.

Thank you for explaining your point. I got the celebrity concept but the others were fuzzy. Thanks! You can stop explaining now.

 

[calypso_21]

So being realistic inhibits fulfilling fantasies? There is no compromise? No alternatives? Reality is just what it is therefore fantasies can not be obtained and realised?

 

[P. B. Walker]

So being realistic inhibits fulfilling fantasies? There is no compromise? No alternatives? Reality is just what it is therefore fantasies can not be obtained and realised?

Mmm... yeah kinda. That is what is special about some fantasies. They rarely come true. That is what makes them so special. If I listed my top 5 fantasies and realized that I could make all of them come true in less than a year, why would they be special? Why would they even be fantasies? To me, a fantasy is something special and almost in a way, unattainable. It's something that is beyond your control and grasp (e.g., the lottery). So, being realistic doesn't mean that you've inhibited them from coming true, it's just that you realize the chances of them actually becoming reality is soooo very rare. You definitely shouldn't be betting on them. But you are right, some fantasies are attainable (e.g., cycling across America, sightseeing across the world). But those kinds of goals fall more into the "(long term) goals" category.

That's just how I envision it.

PBW