Do any of you, or did any of you...

[lilminx]

struggle with the conflict of wanting to settle down, yet desiring your freedom as well? How did you reconcile this?

I'm asking because I find myself with these conflicting feelings often. On the one hand, I want to be in love and have someone love me wholly in return. I don't want to be old and alone.

On the other hand, I find it fun to meet new people and have new experiences with members of the opposite sex. I'm also not sure if I ever want children. I don't know if I'll ever find that person who will complement my life in every way, and respect the way I want to live it.

Sometimes I don't feel like I'll ever want to "grow up", and sometimes I'm not so sure that feeling this way is such a bad thing. Does that make sense?

 

[eagleyez]

struggle with the conflict of wanting to settle down, yet desiring your freedom as well? How did you reconcile this?

I'm asking because I find myself with these conflicting feelings often. On the one hand, I want to be in love and have someone love me wholly in return. I don't want to be old and alone.

On the other hand, I find it fun to meet new people and have new experiences with members of the opposite sex. I'm also not sure if I ever want children. I don't know if I'll ever find that person who will complement my life in every way, and respect the way I want to live it.

Sometimes I don't feel like I'll ever want to "grow up", and sometimes I'm not so sure that feeling this way is such a bad thing. Does that make sense?

I tried bein a grownup for many years and Im just not good at it.

Reminds me of that old Dylan Song

"i was so much older then
im younger than that now"

I dunno

damned if ya do...
grass is greener...

Freedom for me means nothing left to lose...

its good enuff for me...

 

[Guest]

 

[Prince Romeo]

I'm asking because I find myself with these conflicting feelings often. On the one hand, I want to be in love and have someone love me wholly in return. I don't want to be old and alone.

On the other hand, I find it fun to meet new people and have new experiences with members of the opposite sex. I'm also not sure if I ever want children. I don't know if I'll ever find that person who will complement my life in every way, and respect the way I want to live it.

Why are these two things mutually exclusive?

I don't know if I'll ever find that person who will complement my life in every way, and respect the way I want to live it.

Well what are you doing to try and find that person? If you live in a house that has no windows and no lights, then you shouldn't complain about being in the dark.

How can you put yourself in the best postion to find what you desire?

 

[MsSpellChecker]

I'm done with the freedom thing. I want to find good man, marry and be happy.

 

[lilminx]

Why are these two things mutually exclusive?



Well what are you doing to try and find that person? If you live in a house that has no windows and no lights, then you shouldn't complain about being in the dark.

How can you put yourself in the best postion to find what you desire?

First of all, who said I am complaining? I'm making a statement about how I feel.

I don't sit home alone every night, believe me. Maybe you should read some of my posts to get a handle of the type of person I am.
Those two things are mutually exclusive to me because I am a bit wild and I don't want to give that up to settle down. however, that does tend to happen when people makea commitment to each other.

 

[EllieTalbot]

struggle with the conflict of wanting to settle down, yet desiring your freedom as well? How did you reconcile this?

I'm asking because I find myself with these conflicting feelings often. On the one hand, I want to be in love and have someone love me wholly in return. I don't want to be old and alone.

On the other hand, I find it fun to meet new people and have new experiences with members of the opposite sex. I'm also not sure if I ever want children. I don't know if I'll ever find that person who will complement my life in every way, and respect the way I want to live it.

Sometimes I don't feel like I'll ever want to "grow up", and sometimes I'm not so sure that feeling this way is such a bad thing. Does that make sense?

It makes perfect sense.

I wish I had the answer for you, but there doesn't seem to be any way to reconcile it, really. Compromises have to be made.
It's just a matter of deciding which you want more.

But when you're contemplating love and family as a future event, it seems less important, or easier to live without.
I'm certain that when you do find yourself in love with that person who complements you, the choice will become clearer.



Romantic in Russia,
Ellie

 

[Cheyenne]

Re: Re: Do any of you, or did any of you...

I'm certain that when you do find yourself in love with that person who complements you, the choice will become clearer.

Yup!

Lilminx, I understand your thoughts perfectly. Not so much because I was "wild" but because I thought I was happy with my life "as is." That can be changed when you find "the one."

 

[~thonglover]

minx... u've got lots of time to make up your mind, you're young and beautiful ... experience it all!

I agree that being in love...and having someone love you totally is something that everyone should experience... but, having said that... it may not mean that you have to spend the rest of your life with that person...

once you have found your soulmate, lover, confidante you will probably find many of your other life goals falling into place ..

(and no, I would not want to "grow-up" its too much fun avoiding that! and its not necessary to be "grown up" to experience all of the above)

hope that makes at least a bit of sense... ?

 

[*Eve*]

I understand how you feel, I've been there. It's only natural to have these concerns, however if your need to have fun outweighs your desire to settle down, then the person you're with may not be the one.

 

[tulip2lipservice]

Minxie to your intitial post

because I did not read the rest of thread as of yet. My answer is YES. I have had those conflicting feelings of should I settle down or is there more to see and experience in the world. Perhaps there is one out there that will keep my interest long enough to explore these things with me.

Peace,
Tulip

 

[lilminx]

I think I've been pondering it so much lately because the few female friends I have are in serious relationships, engaged, or married. It's hard when I have practically no one to go out with on the weekends unless I have a date. However, I know that I'm not like them and wouldn't be happy with the lives that they've chosen.

Elle, thank you for your response. The only thing is, I'm not sure if I ever want to have a family. I love kids, but not sure if I want any. Then I think that if I don't want kids what's the point of settling down with someone, except for companionship?

Chey, exactly. I am happy with my life in so many ways, yet I feel that dissatisfaction sometimes that it's not as complete as it could be.

*Eve*, that's what I tell myself- that obviously if I'm not ready to settle down or even be exclusively with someone, then they're not the one for me. I feel like I'm missing out on stuff if I try to jsut date one person.

~thonglover, it does make sense, but I do find with many people that getting engaged or married = "growing up".

 

[Prince Romeo]

First of all, who said I am complaining? I'm making a statement about how I feel.

That didn't come out the way I was trying to say it. I didn't think you were complaining and I wasn't tryting to give you advice or pass judgement. I was just trying to say that it is better to take some chances and go for what you want.

Those two things are mutually exclusive to me because I am a bit wild and I don't want to give that up to settle down. however, that does tend to happen when people makea commitment to each other.

I disagree here because it depends on the person you settle down with. What if they are in the traveling circus or they are a rock musician or whatever. That could be pretty wild and they could be in love with you. I'm not trying to sound extreme here, but you just never know. You can have all of what you want, if the right person comes along.

 

[Ishmael]

struggle with the conflict of wanting to settle down, yet desiring your freedom as well? How did you reconcile this?

I'm asking because I find myself with these conflicting feelings often. On the one hand, I want to be in love and have someone love me wholly in return. I don't want to be old and alone.

On the other hand, I find it fun to meet new people and have new experiences with members of the opposite sex. I'm also not sure if I ever want children. I don't know if I'll ever find that person who will complement my life in every way, and respect the way I want to live it.

Sometimes I don't feel like I'll ever want to "grow up", and sometimes I'm not so sure that feeling this way is such a bad thing. Does that make sense?

Makes sense, yes and no.

Kinda confusing isn't it?

I prefer to be with a partner. I like the notion and the actuallity of sharing and doing for one another. I believe that one plus one is greater than two and that is not a biological reproduction reference.

I believe that the two sexes balance each other. There are things that a woman knows inately that a man will never understand, and vice versa. But by listening to one an other a more complete picture of the world that we live in emerges.

I found that you don't have to agree all the time, have the same political views, like the same music, or even the TV shows (if you watch TV).

If you can communicate and work together to build your own life, and a life filled with fun and adventure if you so choose, then it can be done with the right partner.

If you are looking for that person that is in agreement with you in all respects, go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and say hello to the only person you'll ever have to live with as long as you draw breath.

Ishmael

 

[EllieTalbot]

Elle, thank you for your response. The only thing is, I'm not sure if I ever want to have a family. I love kids, but not sure if I want any. Then I think that if I don't want kids what's the point of settling down with someone, except for companionship?

You're around children quite a bit as a teacher (I saw your other thread- too cute!), so you might be happy with just that amount of dealing with them at this point.

I can only speak from personal experience, but you might start to lean towards having children as more time goes by. Up until a couple years, ago, I was undecided about the idea, too. Then it grew on me until now, when I can't imagine not having a family someday. If your friends are all now involved, engaged, etc.- wait until they start becoming mothers!

I don't know what to tell you about settling down with someone and not having a family. That's just a bridge to cross with the s.o. in question, I think, depending on what you both want out of it.

Shrugging in Singapore,
Ellie

 

[Azwed]

struggle with the conflict of wanting to settle down, yet desiring your freedom as well? How did you reconcile this?

I'm asking because I find myself with these conflicting feelings often. On the one hand, I want to be in love and have someone love me wholly in return. I don't want to be old and alone.

On the other hand, I find it fun to meet new people and have new experiences with members of the opposite sex. I'm also not sure if I ever want children. I don't know if I'll ever find that person who will complement my life in every way, and respect the way I want to live it.

Sometimes I don't feel like I'll ever want to "grow up", and sometimes I'm not so sure that feeling this way is such a bad thing. Does that make sense?

Yes I know this feeling very well. Has been part of the reason my last two relationships ended.

 

[barn888]

My last few relationships have involved so much drama that I'm glad not to be married!

 

[lilminx]

*bump* to see if anyone has any other responses.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Uber-ber-ber-ber

Guju-guju

Who's the purdy baby, then?

Guju-guju

 

[lilminx]

CV, please make some sense for once.

 

[eagleyez]

dig youself lilminx...

good stuff comin down the pipe if you do...

do your own inventory

i learned that and its true....

 

[zipman]

I think a lot of people go through the same think minx. I know that I did and I think it's different for each person. What I wanted in life has changed as I've gotten older.

Luckily for you, you're young, hot and it doesn't seem that you are in a rush so relax and enjoy all those members of the opposite sex.

 

[intrigued]

Re: Re: Re: Do any of you, or did any of you...

Yup!

Lilminx, I understand your thoughts perfectly. Not so much because I was "wild" but because I thought I was happy with my life "as is." That can be changed when you find "the one."

Your reply to Ellie and Ellies reply, too, say it perfectly for me.

 

[Guest]

CV, please make some sense for once.

I really love to bone you doggy-style.

How's this?