Divine Copulation (or fucking God)

[Flagg]

I have written a story about the above called A Very Divine Intervention and it has been posted today. I wrote it about 6 weeks ago. I feel it is important to point out that this was prior to any religious debate now in process (i.e before the 'Today is a new beggining (apparently)' thread)

I must say that I really didn't expect there to be so many christians/believers on this site and therefore didn't think that it would offend. Indeed it may not. I just want to point out that this is not in any way confrontational or aggressive or a mockery of anyone's beliefs. Its just for a laugh really.

You've been warned.

 

[Deborah]

How you can preach that we should exault the things of the flesh is beyond me with all of the clear scripture to the contrary. Repent while there is still time. Do not allow yourself to be consumed by the spirit of Jezebel.

Revelation 2:20, "Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants, to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols."

 

[Jeff726]

Flagg don't worry about it. I myself believe in God (baptized 7 years ago), but I also know I can't control anyone else's actions, and will not try to. It's all good man!


Jeff

 

[Expertise]

Flagg I just read your story. I am not religous by nature and I won't go in to my personal belief system here but if there is a God, in the Judeo-Christian sense your in huge trouble, and if the catholics have it right... well... your smokin' turds in purgatory for that little missive big dog.

 

[Deborah]

You got that right, Expertise.

Hey Jeff, Flagg is destined for fire and brimstone; straight to hell. You also just bought yourself a ticket to Cleveland.

Gee, I wonder what you two (Flagg and Jeff) and Dave-73 and Roland are gonna do until the barbecue starts, play Old Maid?

 

[Expertise]

Flagg that was meant with my tongue firmly in my cheek. I'm not judging, i'm just being a smartass.

Deborah your wrong ... Flaggs not going with them ... he's their tour guide when they get there.

 

[Deborah]

Yep, you are right again, Expertise. I am now convinced Flagg is the Antichrist. He threw me off a little when he said he was a Hindu and worshipped cows.

 

[Mensa]

how udderly ridiculous!

I, too, once worshipped a cow... but then we got divorced.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Maybe it was because you refused to eat her.

 

[Jeff726]

You got that right, Expertise.

Hey Jeff, Flagg is destined for fire and brimstone; straight to hell. You also just bought yourself a ticket to Cleveland.

As long as it's not to watch the Indians play I could care less!

 

[Expertise]

Well there was the argument made (with backup from Revelation I beleive) that Dave was the anti-christ.

Maybe they could 'rassle' for it. Jeff with your affinity for wrestling maybe you could referee.

I can see the billing now

Apocolypse Now!
Flagg "Tribulation" Crystal Vs Dave "Dreamcast"73
For the Whore of Babylon Belt
and The U.K Light Welterweight Title

sponsored by
Four Horseman Productions and Vince McMahon

 

[Endlessly]

Yoyoyoyoyo, Deborah.. Tell me what you think. Me personally, I'm thinking you're giving Flagg too much credit as the antichrist.. I mean you're assuming he's going tohave ambition and means to a goal. Besides, I always pictured the antichrist much better dressed than I've ever pictured Flagg, but that's just me. Biggest argument against it though is that the antichrist has to actually make people LIKE him for three and a half years.

Hey, how long did his Crystal days last?

But I digress. I'm much more open to the idea of Flagg being the whore of Babylon, you know, riding on the back of that beast.

Heeeeeeere Zeke..

 

[Gaucho]

Yoyoyoyoyo, Deborah.. Tell me what you think. Me personally, I'm thinking you're giving Flagg too much credit as the antichrist..

Wait a minute. I thought Prince Charles was the AntiChrist.

Did I miss something?

Actually, I just thought that if we were moving the Salvation and Damnation thread over here I wanted in on the action.

btw-Endlessly, I'm ready to surrender. And I can bring you all the cool air you want.

 

[Endlessly]

C'mon, Gaucho.. Do you honestly think chuckie-boy has enough charisma to pull off the antichrist bit either? HEY now.. Maybe Flagg IS prince Charles. Hmmmmm.

*ears perk up*

Cold air, did you say? Get yer ass to Montana, bitch, and bring the AC. Resistance is futile.

 

[Gaucho]

Endlessly-God, I love it when you talk dirty!

Bitch - now that's a biblical term, right?

And, after seeing your picture, I just knew it.

You're really 7of9, aren't you? Damn! And in Montana, no less.

 

[Endlessly]

You do, Gaucho baby? Just wait 'til I start talking trash from the book of Revelation.. You know, "You lukewarm bitch, do you want me to spew you out of my mouth?" Man, that gets the juices going every time.

Bitch, biblical? Uh, I think it's in my Strong's concordance. *nod nod*

*chuckle* I'm not nearly as hot as seven.. And I sure ain't blonde. But hey, I'll wear a wig if that'll get you to bring me an air conditioner..

 

[CreamyLady]

I, too, read Flagg's story, and am trying to decide if such experiences constitute "revelation," or awe in the presence of an Other, or "union," such as the ecstasies described so fervently by St. Teresa of Avila.

I think I'll read it again, and perhaps again after that, for clarification.

I have to agree; sex beats the hell out of buttercups. Especially if one is having sex on top of the buttercups.

 

[Deborah]

After further thought, Endlessly, I believe you to be correct. Flagg couldn't possibly be the Antichrist. He is merely one the Devil's minions, a pawn in a Queen's world.

The first clue of a possible diabolical nature is of course the UK connection. You got Flagg and Dave-73, both of whom I mistakenly thought of as candidates for Antichrist. And then this new dude, stefan123uk, oh my. Endlessly, you didn't get a message from stefan123uk like I did which said "i don't know why but you make my cock hard" did ya?

The supernatural Antichrist will attempt to seduce believers, the elect specifically, to commit fornication, both spiritual (the unforgivable sin) and fleshly. I already pointed out on another thread that the only way Flagg will shag me is over my dead body, literally. And I suspect Dave-73 and stefan123uk have difficulty convincing a ewe to say "fuck you." Of course, Roger the Scotsquatch, that mutant descendent of the Nephilim, the fallen angels who seduced human woman and will do it again, has incredible charm but he seems exclusively interested in physical fornication and not spiritual.

Endlessly, I now believe that Gaucho, with that incredible spiel of jive BS, may indeed be the Antichrist. If he attempts to persuade you to go to the desert, please keep Matthew 24 imbedded in your mind ...

(Verse 24) "For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect."

(Verse 25 & 26) Behold, I have told you before. Wherefore if they shall say unto you, Behold, He is in the desert; go not forth; behold, He is in the secret chambers; believe it not."

PLEASE DON'T GO to the desert, Endlessly, no matter what Gaucho says to persuade you, air conditioner or no air conditioner.

 

[Endlessly]

No Deborah, I'm sorry to say it's been ages since I got my last random and cheezily lewd comment from a male. Hell, I found out my manager at BK is now up on charges of sexually harassing every single female worker at my store.. Except me.

Now what the hell is up with that?!? I can't even get HARASSED any more? And old guys stand me up for dates.. *shaking my head* What a world, Deborah, what a world.

HEY.. Speaking of the desert.. Did you see the 20/20 special on the guy who went into the desert in New Mexico and fasted for forty days? That was fucking amazing. If you did, I'd like to know what you thought..

 

[Flagg]

I'd rather be baptised than shag a gun-loving-pscho-bitch

What can I say? I was young. I was vulnerable. I was naive. I fell in with the wrong crowd and whoops before you know it, I turned into the antichrist. But there's no need to cry about it or regret it. I've been dealt my cards and now I've got to play as good a hand as I can. Now where did I put that fiery sword ...

 

[Expertise]

Flagg if ya' got a sec, and aren't too busy forming one world government being Satans spawn etc. Could ya' send a real dandy "dose" of boils over Daves way.

I know that working as the Prince of Darkness' representative on earth must be ... well .... hell. But if you get a minute.

 

[Endlessly]

Flagg?



You misspelled psycho.

 

[Gaucho]

Endlessly, I now believe that Gaucho, with that incredible spiel of jive BS, may indeed be the Antichrist. If he attempts to persuade you to go to the desert, please keep Matthew 24 imbedded in your mind ...

(Verse 24) "For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect."

(Verse 25 & 26) Behold, I have told you before. Wherefore if they shall say unto you, Behold, He is in the desert; go not forth; behold, He is in the secret chambers; believe it not."

PLEASE DON'T GO to the desert, Endlessly, no matter what Gaucho says to persuade you, air conditioner or no air conditioner.

This is amazing. In a little over a week, I go from being "Groucho" to becoming the "AntiChrist".

What's next, George W. Bush?

So the price of a little cool air is eternal damnation, eh? Damn! Endlessly, I was so hoping to bring you the relief you need...sounds like, if Deborah has her way, you'll stay hot and parched forever. Wait a minute. Hot and parched? Isn't that how you get when you're in the desert? Does that mean....no, couldn't be.

And just how does one fornicate a spirit, anyway? Can someone clue me in on that?

Endlessly, hon...I'm not going anywhere near the desert, but I do have a secret chamber and if it's a little physical fornication you had in mind...

 

[CreamyLady]

I've always wondered about the spirit fornication thing. St. Teresa made it sound soooooo good; "piercing" ecstasy.

I wondered about her mattress, myself, and if disciplines were used in her convent, but it did sound good.

Think of "union" on the cellular level, being infused with Divine Love in every bit of you . . . wow.

 

[Gaucho]

I've always wondered about the spirit fornication thing. St. Teresa made it sound soooooo good; "piercing" ecstasy.

I wondered about her mattress, myself, and if disciplines were used in her convent, but it did sound good.

Think of "union" on the cellular level, being infused with Divine Love in every bit of you . . . wow.

Wait a minute. I'm getting mixed messages here. Deborah says that spirit fornication is the unforgivable sin and now you're saying that St. Teresa made it sound soooooo good. Which is it?

Or is it both?

And about the 'piercing' thing? Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwww!