Disrespectful, unethical, immoral! I am amazed at this crap.

[rexfelis]

I've got about a year of experience expressing My dominance, and I kept My relationship under the wire until I believed we were ready to start learning from the community.

My slave was on alt.com before she discovered that I was dominant, and we started exploring our relationship. She made contact with several other "dominants" through this channel, and when she decided she wanted to give her submission to Me, I was one of three she could have chosen at the time.

During the course of that year, there were a couple of "dominants" who decided to pester her, and continued to hound her for her submission in spite of the fact that she had informed them of being happily involved with Me. In the end, she had to move and change her cell phone number to get away from them, and even that did not completely stop them.

Tonight I find out that this entire week, she has gotten messages from yet another "dominant" who wants to steal her from Me. This ended up strengthening our relationship, because I handled it well, but it amazes Me that these so called "dominants" can have such blatant disregard for the rights of others and such little respect for relationships already in place.

These "dominants" have consistently used every low and disgusting trick they could - lies, ignoring what was said, bribery, attempts to instill fear, uncertainty and doubt, and even bordering on slander of My character.

I am writing this to express my outrage and utter disgust for these so-called "dominants", who deserve no more respect than I give a turd before I flush it. I wish I could flush them. But I am also writing to them, to tell them that they will always fail. I am good to Mine. I treat Mine well. Mine are loved and cherished, and they know that I respect them. They know I take care of them, and that I will protect them. They know I will teach them, and push them, and make them grow. They know I know them inside and out, and exactly how to handle them. They know they are safe with Me. And they know that lies and FUD and bribery and slander only reveal a slug for what it is. I have to apologize to the good, honest beer-loving garden slugs out there for comparing these "dominants" to them, but slimy is slimy.

I don't care how much money you have, how big you think your dick is, how many slaves or subs you claim to have owned, what car you drive, or how silver your tongue is... you cannot have Mine. You cannot measure up to Me as a good, moral, caring, Dominant man, and Mine know that. That is why they are Mine.

If you want a sub, or a slave, try being a real man. Try being honest. Try being caring, and understanding. Try having moral integrity. Try being respectful of others' relationships. Try learning that it's not a game, and it's not just for your dick to get wet. These are real people you're dealing with, and real hearts and minds and emotions. They deserve to be treated as such. You can't have Mine because you can't hope to offer what I do. You can't even understand what I have to offer Mine. Years of experience, you say? If you need to resort to bribery and lies and slander and FUD to hope to get someone who you don't even have the right to be talking to after being told to go away, you need to take a long look in the mirror and grow the fuck up. Mine are too good for the likes of you. They're too smart and too mature for your kind. That is why they are with men like Me in the first place.

End rant.

 

[A Desert Rose]

[rant]Okay[/rant]






;-D

 

[rexfelis]

[rant]Okay[/rant]






;-D

lol


I feel better now.

 

[A Desert Rose]

lol


I feel better now.

that was my plan, doll.

;-)

 

[RJMasters]

Well it seems you have alot to say, and sounds like you have good cause to say it. Though I question why you felt the need to throw it out here on this forum...unless the ones who are doing it are on this forum.

If your going to come out with it and bring all this out into the open, why half-step about it? Why not say who it is that has been doing this crap so others will know who it is your talking about.

If they are as bad as you say, then perhaps it would be good for others to know as well so they can avoid them.

 

[Aeroil]

Flattering that they think her worth all that effort, at least?

 

[rexfelis]

Well it seems you have alot to say, and sounds like you have good cause to say it. Though I question why you felt the need to throw it out here on this forum...unless the ones who are doing it are on this forum.

If your going to come out with it and bring all this out into the open, why half-step about it? Why not say who it is that has been doing this crap so others will know who it is your talking about.

If they are as bad as you say, then perhaps it would be good for others to know as well so they can avoid them.

I don't know who they are at the moment... Those I know of are not on here, and I am still uncovering information that I was not made aware of until it was almost too late. Sometimes subbies need to be reminded that they must communicate.

I'm not done finding out about these guys, but if I find any of them here, I'll post their names. I posted to vent, and to say to any who might be here that would do such things, that they need to grow up and are wasting their time.

 

[rexfelis]

Flattering that they think her worth all that effort, at least?

My slave and my candidate are both genuinely submissive women. I can't say as to how they compare with other slaves and submissives, but they're both damned special to me.... so in one sense I am proud that Mine are attracting attention, but the gentleman will admire, but not touch. I respect the relationships of others, and I think it's reasonable to expect the same in return. These are not gentlemen, and I do not appreciate Mine being treated this way.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Good lesson in why you do not hand out your phone number and more importantly your address to strangers, or people you have not yet committed to. Personally, though I had many offers while searching, and met many Dominants from both my own country and overseas, I had no problems such as you describe once I was taken....I just told them in clear and friendly but firm (as in not flirty or hinting in any way I might be persuaded and those who did approach always did so in a respectful manner and asked first if I was still available) and that was where it ended....I even managed to stay friends with a few of the ones I had met but who had not worked out. My advice would be if it is bothering you so much for her to get emails etc., from other men looking, have her take down or close her profile as it no longer has a purpose, does it?

Catalina

 

[M's girl]

I am wondering if it common for a Dom to have more than one sub. If so, it seems to me the other Dom's are persueing your sub like you persue other subs, besides her. Why is it different for you?

At the same time I agree that "no" is no at all times, but I feel it would have to come from your sub, and not from you. If this 'practice' (one Dom, more subs) is all common in this scene I would persue the one(s) I wanted to become my sub until I felt that the sub really did not want to connect with me. I assume that's what you do too.

Maybe your sub secretly adores all the attention she is getting regardless? I mean, you had to find out about the messages (so she did not tell you)...

Of course I'm not in this scene at all but the dynamics fascinate me.

 

[rexfelis]

I am wondering if it common for a Dom to have more than one sub. If so, it seems to me the other Dom's are persueing your sub like you persue other subs, besides her. Why is it different for you?

At the same time I agree that "no" is no at all times, but I feel it would have to come from your sub, and not from you. If this 'practice' (one Dom, more subs) is all common in this scene I would persue the one(s) I wanted to become my sub until I felt that the sub really did not want to connect with me. I assume that's what you do too.

Maybe your sub secretly adores all the attention she is getting regardless? I mean, you had to find out about the messages (so she did not tell you)...

Of course I'm not in this scene at all but the dynamics fascinate me.

I don't pursue subs. I am open to more, as I can handle them, but only as I can handle them. There's a process to go through before I even consider a person for candidate. If someone gets to know me and decides they're interested, they take action.

My slave has always been firm about saying no, but for some reason these guys just don't get it. This makes the fourth one in a year who would not leave her alone. She doesn't always tell me, as she's still learning, just as I am. I am sure she appreciates the attention at first, but somehow we end up with stalker types.

We've been through this with the other three, and she doesn't always talk about it because she doesn't see the point, since she can say no. Even when she does not respond, however, they still persist, even months and months later. The other day she got an e-mail from a guy she has told twice to stop contact, and whom she has not responded to in over seven months. She is a strong woman, and she tries to take care of these things herself because she does not wish to burden me. I am trying to get her to understand that communication must be proactive.

 

[rexfelis]

Good lesson in why you do not hand out your phone number and more importantly your address to strangers, or people you have not yet committed to. Personally, though I had many offers while searching, and met many Dominants from both my own country and overseas, I had no problems such as you describe once I was taken....I just told them in clear and friendly but firm (as in not flirty or hinting in any way I might be persuaded and those who did approach always did so in a respectful manner and asked first if I was still available) and that was where it ended....I even managed to stay friends with a few of the ones I had met but who had not worked out. My advice would be if it is bothering you so much for her to get emails etc., from other men looking, have her take down or close her profile as it no longer has a purpose, does it?

Catalina

Most of these contacts are via IM and e-mail. Only one knew her address, and to my knowledge, only one knew her phone number - and he was someone from before she met me in a D/s sense.

It doesn't bother me that she gets attention. I am quite secure in her loyalty to me. It bothers me that these guys don't take no for an answer. This latest guy offered to put her through college, among other things, all the while trying to make her think I was not doing enough for her. This was for a week after she told him, "no thanks, and please don't contact me anymore."

I have been careful to build my relationship with her in such a fashion that nobody can possibly offer her what she needs without offering her what she's already getting. Just amazed at the sludge at the bottom of the barrel.

 

[M's girl]

Hmmm.... people who don't know the meaning of the word "no" are so annoying. In your case (or her case rather) it might be best to ignore them all together. As long as she is responding (and you do too; you said you had even contacted them to get your point across) they feel like the communication (=opportinity) is open. Like there is still a change to convince her. I have seen this with an ex girlfriend of a former boyfriend. He had ended his relationship with her and soon after started dating me. She could not let (him) go and kept calling him and showing up on his doorstep.

I understood at first how he did not want to be mean to her so every time he listened to her but at the same time kept telling her gently that it was over between them. She just did not get it and apparently felt that she still had a chance. Their interactions became more tense all the time and he was desperate about what to do or say to her to get through to her. The more he said no (but still took the time to explain it to her) to more determined she seemed to get to try to get him back.

In the end I told him to just ignore her all together, which he did, and that's when she gave up (after a while). Those people can be like trolls. As long as you feed them (no matter how bitter the food ) they will stay. Most of the time they crave the attention too (so don't give them that) and the longer you keep feeding them the more determined they will get, resorting to the kind of behaviour you mentioned (lying, promising, cheating - anything basically to get what they want).

Ignore. That's the key word here I think.

 

[rexfelis]

Hmmm.... people who don't know the meaning of the word "no" are so annoying. In your case (or her case rather) it might be best to ignore them all together. As long as she is responding (and you do too; you said you had even contacted them to get your point across) they feel like the communication (=opportinity) is open. Like there is still a change to convince her. I have seen this with an ex girlfriend of a former boyfriend. He had ended his relationship with her and soon after started dating me. She could not let (him) go and kept calling him and showing up on his doorstep.

I understood at first how he did not want to be mean to her so every time he listened to her but at the same time kept telling her gently that it was over between them. She just did not get it and apparently felt that she still had a chance. Their interactions became more tense all the time and he was desperate about what to do or say to her to get through to her. The more he said no (but still took the time to explain it to her) to more determined she seemed to get to try to get him back.

In the end I told him to just ignore her all together, which he did, and that's when she gave up (after a while). Those people can be like trolls. As long as you feed them (no matter how bitter the food ) they will stay. Most of the time they crave the attention too (so don't give them that) and the longer you keep feeding them the more determined they will get, resorting to the kind of behaviour you mentioned (lying, promising, cheating - anything basically to get what they want).

Ignore. That's the key word here I think.

I have been through that plan of action, too. They just keep coming. It will be much easier to figure out what is "feeding" them once she moves in with me. I suspect she may be "feeding" them without realizing it by trying to be polite, as you say.

I guess persistence pays off in enough cases for these slugs to just keep trying.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Most of these contacts are via IM and e-mail. Only one knew her address, and to my knowledge, only one knew her phone number - and he was someone from before she met me in a D/s sense.

It doesn't bother me that she gets attention. I am quite secure in her loyalty to me. It bothers me that these guys don't take no for an answer. This latest guy offered to put her through college, among other things, all the while trying to make her think I was not doing enough for her. This was for a week after she told him, "no thanks, and please don't contact me anymore."

I have been careful to build my relationship with her in such a fashion that nobody can possibly offer her what she needs without offering her what she's already getting. Just amazed at the sludge at the bottom of the barrel.

Sorry, I assumed as you said she had to move and also change her phone number due to the attention from these persistent Doms there had been a sharing of this personal information with the men in question...doesn't make sense to me otherwise why you would have to move and change your phone number if they didn't know them in the first place. I still go with the closing of the profile...that is possible with Alt.com which is where you say the issues are from....quick and definite solution. All my contacts were via email and IM as well, but my profile was very direct and no nonsence when it was in place, and after I had committed I shut it down of my own accord and with his support. The ones who responded after that came from sites where I had not been able to close or remove a profile due to their method of operation or a couple of sites who had taken the profile from another site and put it on their site without my knowledge....but in all cases, the prospective Doms asked if I was available first, and were happy with my response that I was sorry they had inadvertently wasted their time (and how that happened) but I was now taken and very happy...there was never a question of them pushing the point further as they were experienced and knew etiquette, not to mention had some manners, and they thanked me and wished us well with our future, then no more. Are you sure she doesn't deliver a semi-soft or confusing message because she enjoys their attention and your response? Just a thought. Perhaps as her Dominant you should take over responding to the emails yourself and then you can deliver the message first hand and to the point...may be they need to hear it from a man before they get it through their thick heads.

Catalina

 

[shy slave]

I am confused, why bring this here as a rant?

You could ask your slave to remove her profile from Alt, or put in her profile that she is only interested in talking to people and has a Master.

If either of you deal with it in Alt at least the people involved will see it instead of ranting here and hoping they also visit here.

Or she could ignore the people who contact her.

Having people hit on you is part of life, D/s or vanilla.

I see nothing wrong in people being interested in your slave it is a compliment of sorts.

If people find Andante attractive and say so then I think it is great. I know he is not going to wander of with them. One compliment does not make a relationship.

edit to add: this reads as if Andante is my slave, he isn't; I belong to him

 

[Aeroil]

My slave and my candidate are both genuinely submissive women. I can't say as to how they compare with other slaves and submissives, but they're both damned special to me.... so in one sense I am proud that Mine are attracting attention, but the gentleman will admire, but not touch. I respect the relationships of others, and I think it's reasonable to expect the same in return. These are not gentlemen, and I do not appreciate Mine being treated this way.

aye it sounds more than a little infuriating, I'm just trying to be positive ^_^

 

[gingermango]

rexfelis -

Excellent rant and I agree with you 100%. Similarly, Catalina's comments are spot-on to me as well.

That said, why has your slave remained in contact with other potential dominants? If she has changed her cell # and even moved, why are these people still able to contact her in the first place? Ask her to demonstrate true submission by simply NOT responding to contacts on alt.com or, better yet, deactivate the profile. If people continue to track her down on their own after she has informed them that no more contact is desired, perhaps it's time for legal action. Stalking is a crime in most jurisdictions.

 

[Marquis]

You seem threatened.

I can't blame you.

 

[onyxvixen]

You should worry?

I've had emails and PMs from so-called dominant men, loads of them. I wouldn't mind but I'm a gay Domme. There's simply no reasoning with illiterate lunacy like that.

Close down all her accounts on places like alt.com and if she MUST have another one, set it up under a name that's not explicit or even gender specific. Clearly state your ownership of her all over the profile. Then you just have to treat the nutjobs as spam.

I hate to be skeptical, but your slave must be doing something to encourage this level of persistence in multiple suitors. It's a far more likely theory than that she just attracts them through no fault of her own.

 

[Netzach]

I hate to be skeptical, but your slave must be doing something to encourage this level of persistence in multiple suitors. It's a far more likely theory than that she just attracts them through no fault of her own.

Ka ching.

I wonder if she loves the protective hyper attention this gets her from her Dom, as the least suspect of possibilities?

Nah, can't be.

 

[Marquis]

I hate to be skeptical, but your slave must be doing something to encourage this level of persistence in multiple suitors. It's a far more likely theory than that she just attracts them through no fault of her own.

This is a problem as old as time, what cracks me up is that the guys in question never seem to "get it".

My sub is fucking hot. She gets hit on all day, by everyone she comes across. She gets propositioned on MySpace and when she had a Collarme profile, she got several emails daily.

Do you think I ever cared, once?

No, I did not, and neither did she. She merely hit that little button that says "delete" and went right on with her day. In person, she just doesn't give any signals of availability or interest. She did go to the movies with a male friend once who tried to kiss her and she told him in certain and unapologetic terms that that wasn't going to work out. He understood and they're still friends to this day. I even met the guy, nice kid.

I see this exact situation ALL the time. I was even in it myself at one point, except my reaction was different from yours.

My guess is this girl is one of those people who needs to feel very desired by lots of people to feel wanted. She probably also feels like she needs many options or she doesn't feel secure. Being that this seems to be a poly situation isn't going to help that, as she is already going to be feeling insecure, as if she is putting all her eggs in a very shaky basket.

My advice, if you want it...

Play it cool. Don't fall into her trap, don't let her manipulate you. She knows what she's doing, she isnt the poor, confused, innocent damsel in distress she wants you to think she is.

Remain unaffected, it's the player way.

 

[onyxvixen]

Ka ching.

I wonder if she loves the protective hyper attention this gets her from her Dom, as the least suspect of possibilities?

Nah, can't be.

Well far be it from me to roll my eyes along with you Netzach but.....

Just couldn't help it.

 

[onyxvixen]

Play it cool. Don't fall into her trap, don't let her manipulate you. She knows what she's doing, she isnt the poor, confused, innocent damsel in distress she wants you to think she is.

Remain unaffected, it's the player way.

Couldn't have put it better myself.

 

[Marquis]

Goddamnit, Netzach always gets her shit out first.