Disappointed?

[Kailey_86]

As a PYL, are you disappointed when you learn that your sub doesn't like an activity that you hoped she would enjoy? If she doesn't enjoy it, do you still do it? Has this ever happened to you. Care to share?

Are there any activities that you enjoy simply because your subs reaction to it? What are they?

If there were an activity that you really liked but your sub reacted negatively to it, would you still enjoy it as much?

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

If there were an activity that you really liked but your sub reacted negatively to it, would you still enjoy it as much?

I can think of a few that just might :chuckles:

Shhhh kailey .....maybe the 'sadistic ones' won't open this thread .

 

[CutieMouse]

I can think of a few that just might :chuckles:

Shhhh kailey .....maybe the 'sadistic ones' won't open this thread .

Our minds work in similar ways, Rebecca.

(hehehe)

Seriously, this falls into the compatability argument for me... although there are things I once hated, that now I can't imagine doing without.

 

[myinnerslut]

i know A hates it when one of his creative little ideas doesnt work out the way he wants it to, whether its becuase of me or the mechanics

 

[Chicklet]

My ex had two big fetishes that really turned me off - bloodplay and biting. I don't know why i have such a strong dislike for biting... I think I just dislike the intense pressure on my skin. He would do it anyways, but maybe not as much as if I'd liked it. I know he was extremely disapointed that I didn't like bloodplay, and he never, ever tried to push it when i told him it was a limit for me. I think he might have stuck with me longer if I'd shared his love for those two types of play, which is painful to think about, but it just isn't who i am.

 

[FurryFury]

As a PYL, are you disappointed when you learn that your sub doesn't like an activity that you hoped she would enjoy? If she doesn't enjoy it, do you still do it? Has this ever happened to you. Care to share?

Are there any activities that you enjoy simply because your subs reaction to it? What are they?

If there were an activity that you really liked but your sub reacted negatively to it, would you still enjoy it as much?

I'm not a PYL. At least in my own mind I'm a sub. I feel that I can still post to this thread in my own strangely convoluted way though.

There are indeed things that I was disappointed when I learned my husband didn't like the activity, yes. At times I've been temporarily heartbroken over such things.

If he didn't enjoy it, do I still do it? Not if I can help it.

Truth time, there are certain things that are almost as natural to me as breathing. I can't seem to help myself. He either learns to live with it, correct it harshly enough or should leave. So, yes, sometimes I do things he doesn't enjoy but those things are just sort of bad habits. I mean I can't resist tickling him, playing with nipples when I see one, or spanking his ass. *sigh (who could?)*

OTOH, I have not used ginger on him but one time, there are a number of things I've tried or asked him to try that since he disliked it a great deal, I've not gone there or asked him to again. I could make a list but I won't.

I have not asked him to do things to me that he stated he hated after trying it. Often he surprises me by deciding he doesn't hate it after all or initialing the same activity though.

I do absolutely enjoy the way he screams, squirms and just generally reacts to some of the things I mentioned above. It's absolutely addicting IMO. So um, yes to the last question. OTOH, if he were to curl into a fetal position and / or be really serious about how much he hated something I wouldn't push that particular thing on him.

Fury

 

[liberatedslave]

I know my Sir's disappointed that I still haven't mastered the art of deepthroating his cock. I try very hard to relax & take it all in but I gag uncontrollably every time & at our last attempt nearly threw up on him! He knows I really don't enjoy it, it's scary, it hurts & I can't breathe. He does facefuck me viciously as a punishment. He's pleased that I keep trying my best but I know he can't understand how I find it so impossible when so many porn stars stuff huge dicks down their necks with ease.

 

[FurryFury]

That's because porn is bull shit. Anyone who makes porn the basis of their desires is bound to be disappointed but that's on them, IMO.

Fury

 

[CutieMouse]

That's because porn is bull shit. Anyone who makes porn the basis of their desires is bound to be disappointed but that's on them, IMO.

Fury

*Hands Fury a Hershey's kiss for saving me typing time...*

 

[FurryFury]

*Hands Fury a Hershey's kiss for saving me typing time...*

Oh!

Thanks!



Back at you Cutie Mouse! You've saved me typing countless times!

Fury

 

[catalina_francisco]

As a PYL, are you disappointed when you learn that your sub doesn't like an activity that you hoped she would enjoy? If she doesn't enjoy it, do you still do it? Has this ever happened to you. Care to share?

Are there any activities that you enjoy simply because your subs reaction to it? What are they?

If there were an activity that you really liked but your sub reacted negatively to it, would you still enjoy it as much?

This is another one of those situations where one size does not fit all, so the answers can and will vary without being any indication what anyone can expect in their own relationship. And of course, I am not a PYL, but if you wait for just PYL's to speak around here, you may end up with very few responses so some of us pyl's feel compelled to speak up anyway. Personally I have always preferred a PYL who was not reliant on me to make or influence their decisions what to do based on my enjoyment levels...and I am fortunate to have a PYL who can happily identify with that themselves. As much as he enjoys it if I enjoy what he does, it is becoming more and more obvious he enjoys it even more if he discovers I don't particularly enjoy something...in fact, the more it makes me squirm and my skin crawl, the more he wants to do it, and not as a form of punishment but more so sheer pleasure for himself. He enjoys that negative response so much that there are things he now relishes doing which he once had no attraction to whatsoever...hmmmm, how I wish I had been able to better disguise my aversions for some of them. Of course he does feel disappointed initially sometimes, but he soon overrides that with the sadistic delight he can anticipate through doing them. As to what those activities might be, that is our secret.

PS. Not all pyl's are female either.

Catalina

 

[RonClarkeson]

Poor PYL

As a PYL, are you disappointed when you learn that your sub doesn't like an activity that you hoped she would enjoy? If she doesn't enjoy it, do you still do it? Has this ever happened to you. Care to share?

Are there any activities that you enjoy simply because your subs reaction to it? What are they?

If there were an activity that you really liked but your sub reacted negatively to it, would you still enjoy it as much?

The real question here is 'How do I get my sub to submit to this?'

If you cannot work out how to do this then you are no Master!

I never have had to instigate a submissive activity that she did not invite!

Work out how to get from where you are to where you want to go. Its too late if your sub has refused!

 

[CutieMouse]

The real question here is 'How do I get my sub to submit to this?'

If you cannot work out how to do this then you are no Master!

I never have had to instigate a submissive activity that she did not invite!

Work out how to get from where you are to where you want to go. Its too late if your sub has refused!

Hmmm... so Dominant A falls in Love/like/lust with submissive B. They go over likes/dislikes, and submissive B says (quite strongly) he/she doesn't care for XYZ activity, which Dominant A happens to rather enjoy. It isn't a full stop hard limit; however, submissive B really really hates it.

Does Dominant A's entire status (ego) as a "Master" suddenly hinge on getting submissive B to engage in said activity?

 

[ownedsubgal]

my Master is a bit like Catalina's in that my lack of enjoyment does not negatively effect his own pleasure while engaging in a particular activity. He does not do erotic things for the purpose of mutual enjoyment, that's just never been of interest to him. sometimes he feeds off my suffering, my strong dislike/discomfort/pain from a particular activity. but most of the time honestly it's a matter of indifference....i like it, i don't like it, who cares, i'm there to serve and be used and that's the end of it.

and personally that's the way i like it, especially after relationships/experiences with vanillas where it was always about "me" or "us"...now, it's all about him, as it should be.

 

[RonClarkeson]

This Dominant is MUCH more subtle!

Hmmm... so Dominant A falls in Love/like/lust with submissive B. They go over likes/dislikes, and submissive B says (quite strongly) he/she doesn't care for XYZ activity, which Dominant A happens to rather enjoy. It isn't a full stop hard limit; however, submissive B really really hates it.

Does Dominant A's entire status (ego) as a "Master" suddenly hinge on getting submissive B to engage in said activity?

The D/s senario is so much more about leading the Sub where the Dom wants to go. I never asked such a leading question as What wont you agee to!

After all I know best!!!!!!!!

 

[Evil_Geoff]

As a PYL, are you disappointed when you learn that your sub doesn't like an activity that you hoped she would enjoy? If she doesn't enjoy it, do you still do it? Has this ever happened to you. Care to share?

Yes, I'm disappointed when my slave doesn't enjoy an activity that gets me all hot and bothered. Yes, I still do it. Hellloooooo, I'm a sadist! I don't care if she doesn't enjoy it, I just care if she _consents_ to it.

Are there any activities that you enjoy simply because your subs reaction to it? What are they?

Anything that makes her writhe, squirm, cum, cry, whimper, moan, scream, or beg me to stop.

If there were an activity that you really liked but your sub reacted negatively to it, would you still enjoy it as much?

See above, I'm a sadist. Her pleasure is nice, but not necessary to _my_ enjoyment. Her pleasure is a good thing for the relationship because it makes her feel that I care about her needs and desires as well as my own. It's not all about me. While I'm a sadist I am NOT a sociopath. I love janey, want to keep her for a long time, and some things I do I do specifically to nuture and feed the relationship, not simply because she likes the activity. I'm motivated by my desire to keep my slave happy and healthy and wanting to serve me.

Call it "enlightened self-interest". It's an investment in my own long-term, ongoing happiness.

I also play with others. There are some activities that janey is just not capable of doing, because of either physical limitations or emotional ones. She is not adverse to my doing the activities, she's just not capable of indulging me with them. And she's quite alright with my doing them to others instead of her... *weg* Gotta love a slave with a sadistic streak... "Here! Beat HER! She LIKES that sort of thing, Sir!" *LOL*

 

[Evil_Geoff]

After all I know best!!!!!!!!

Oh

My

Gawd!

*LMBFHAO*

*Hoots and pounds the desk top... *

*lolololol*

 

[CutieMouse]

Oh

My

Gawd!

*LMBFHAO*

*Hoots and pounds the desk top... *

*lolololol*

Yeah. That.

(Please tell me, Mr. Clarkeson, that you made that last comment tongue in cheek?)

 

[shy slave]

The real question here is 'How do I get my sub to submit to this?'

If you cannot work out how to do this then you are no Master!

I never have had to instigate a submissive activity that she did not invite!

Work out how to get from where you are to where you want to go. Its too late if your sub has refused!

Great Answer!

You may not always have a game plan on how to achieve it, hell you may not even achieve it.
But if your not prepared to try then you may as well live in fantasy land instead.

I have done manythings I never thought I wanted to try, but a mix of pavlovs dogs, drip feeding me ideas and plain outright telling me that it will happen; has made me adapt and change.
Truthfully, we have done things I don't like, but I kind of like that too

 

[Chicklet]

...I'm a sadist. Her pleasure is nice, but not necessary to _my_ enjoyment. Her pleasure is a good thing for the relationship because it makes her feel that I care about her needs and desires as well as my own. It's not all about me. While I'm a sadist I am NOT a sociopath. I love janey, want to keep her for a long time, and some things I do I do specifically to nuture and feed the relationship, not simply because she likes the activity. I'm motivated by my desire to keep my slave happy and healthy and wanting to serve me.

I keep laughing at myself for bringing up biting as something I have an issue with... it's so simple and seems so vanilla, and it is just so unpleasant for me, lol... I'd rather be caned than bitten heh... but anyways, I wanted to nod along with this. In my experience, I didn't want my PYL to stop doing it just because I liked it... but he did it much less frequently because he didn't want to drive me away by overusing something that I sincerely didn't like.

For the most part, my ideal D/s relationship doesn't involve a lot of things that simply please the other person. I *do* want to please, and submit, and make my Dom the happiest man in the whole universe, but the men that I seek also care about what I want and need and desire. (I know that's sort of a given on this site, but it seems like something i have to repeatedly spell out to idiots that contact me other ways.)

But yeah, Geoff, I liked this little part of your post. Not that the entire post wasn't awsome, but this is one of those things you write that make me curse the fact you're already taken

 

[Ice2000]

Well I have found that pushing a sub's limits is most of the fun for me. I have to know I'm driving her crazy or I'm not happy. So if it is something she is totally against then it would be a turnoff for me . BUT, teaching her to like it is much fun. When you can make a your sub cum doing something that originally was out of limits it is a real sense of accomplishment.

like the man said.. Work out how to get from where you are to where you want to go.. That's the key.

 

[FurryFury]

I keep laughing at myself for bringing up biting as something I have an issue with... it's so simple and seems so vanilla, and it is just so unpleasant for me, lol... I'd rather be caned than bitten heh... but anyways, I wanted to nod along with this. In my experience, I didn't want my PYL to stop doing it just because I liked it... but he did it much less frequently because he didn't want to drive me away by overusing something that I sincerely didn't like.

For the most part, my ideal D/s relationship doesn't involve a lot of things that simply please the other person. I *do* want to please, and submit, and make my Dom the happiest man in the whole universe, but the men that I seek also care about what I want and need and desire. (I know that's sort of a given on this site, but it seems like something i have to repeatedly spell out to idiots that contact me other ways.)

But yeah, Geoff, I liked this little part of your post. Not that the entire post wasn't awsome, but this is one of those things you write that make me curse the fact you're already taken

I always assume that anything that really triggers that sort of reaction in me or my husband, there is a reason for it. It may be something you can work through or not but there is a reason this hits your "yuck" button.

I tell myself, I may or may not be able to figure out that reason but it has it's validity in my emotional truth or his and must be respected. It may be worked at gently if it is something one of us truly wishes to work on or left the hell alone if not.

Fury

 

[liberatedslave]

That's because porn is bull shit. Anyone who makes porn the basis of their desires is bound to be disappointed but that's on them, IMO.

Fury

Oh yes, I agree totally. It's just knowing that there are other women out there who can do it. I get really pissed off at myself after I fail for the squillionth time. It's like, "I have a bloody degree so why the hell can't I just take his cock?

It's not like it a total monster dick either








But it is a wonderful dick because it's my Sir's and of course it's the BIGGEST I've ever seen and I want it SO bad...

 

[FurryFury]

Oh yes, I agree totally. It's just knowing that there are other women out there who can do it. I get really pissed off at myself after I fail for the squillionth time. It's like, "I have a bloody degree so why the hell can't I just take his cock?

It's not like it a total monster dick either








But it is a wonderful dick because it's my Sir's and of course it's the BIGGEST I've ever seen and I want it SO bad...

You sound like a very good girl to me.

Tell me, have you practiced alone with a dildo and no pressure?

Fury

 

[Evil_Geoff]

But yeah, Geoff, I liked this little part of your post. Not that the entire post wasn't awsome, but this is one of those things you write that make me curse the fact you're already taken

Well.... I can be borrowed for short periods!