Disagreement = Dislike?

[girl]

Do you think because someone argues a strong opinion that is 'against' yours, s/he is attacking you? (Assuming no namecalling occurs.)

girl

 

[Blackbich]

A lot of people are sensitive that way. I personally just look at it as in...they have a different opinion. I think the wording has something to do with the way it's taken.

 

[Astro]

I dont, I have several good friends who would hold opinions oppisate to my own. We discuss them, but we know we still are friends. I think this would be more difficult online though.

 

[KinkyKandy]

No i don't agree with that. Everyone has their own opinion. Just because you believe strongly in something and someone else believes something different doesn't mean they are attacking you.

 

[nasty]

The only time in recent memory I attacked someone for arguing with me was yesterday,(thanks, I'm trying to forget that, LOL.) But, I usually just shrug it off. It's IMPOSSIBLE for everyone to agree on everything.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Do you think because someone argues a strong opinion that is 'against' yours, s/he is attacking you? (Assuming no namecalling occurs.)

Usually not - my ego is not so fragile that I can't take someone disagreeing with me.

However, I have had people who have disagreed with me, that made it apparent that they not only were disagreeing with me, but that they also had some personal problem with me due to my opinions.

I have met a lot of people who took my disagreement with them personally, including here on Lit.

This is especially true when I use some adjective such as Bovine Fecal Matter, etc. - as then they too often think I am refering to them and not their argument, or they cannot separate a criticism of their argument with a criticism of them.

I have taken other people's view personally when they are refering to something that is me; such as the discussion a while back about "nice guys" where people were inferring that I was a wimp, etc. - so yes, I took that personally.

 

[nasty]

STG,

If you ever call one of my posts as Fecal Matter, I'll take it you agree with me.

 

[Summery]

Do you think because someone argues a strong opinion that is 'against' yours, s/he is attacking you? (Assuming no namecalling occurs.)

girl

My answer NO. I have such a wide variety of friends both on this board and in RL. We have different opinions, even to the point on some subjects where they are at the opposite end of the spectrum from my own opinions.
Difference of opinions is what makes the world go round and makes this place and life a little more exciting. I never take it as a personal attack on me, if someone has a different opinion or point of view.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

I disagree with alote of people on many subjects, and never think they are personaly attacking me.

everyone thinks differently, and just cause you don't agree with me dose not mean your worn, don't mean I'm wrong eather... hell who knows mabey we are both right depending on how you look at the subject.

agree to disagree is sometimes the best thing to do.

 

[nasty]

Since PC isn't here, you want my spellchecker, Fly?

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Re: STG,

If you ever call one of my posts as Fecal Matter, I'll take it you agree with me.

I know better than to do that, because you are so full of shit.

 

[perks]

Do you think because someone argues a strong opinion that is 'against' yours, s/he is attacking you? (Assuming no namecalling occurs.)

girl

I don't feel that way, no. But lot's of different people think I dislike them or are attacking them when I disagree with them, it's quite confusing, because most of the time I don't even know them. I just think I have a strong opinion about the subject at hand.

perks....

PS...this is a great and timely question

 

[nasty]

Re: Re: STG,

I know better than to do that, because you are so full of shit.

Hang on, I'll be right back. I need to use the facilities.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

Since PC isn't here, you want my spellchecker, Fly?

Sure I'll use it to smak you in the head. I"m not haveing this damn conversation again.

 

[nasty]

*Giggling*okey.

Note-Dilberatelly spelt wrone to mak Fly fell beter.

 

[teresafannin]

I have only felt like I was attacked twice in all the time I have been here & both times some of my friends were here to support me. I disagree with a lot of opinions here, but would never attack someone personally. A good example is Killer Muffin. We have differing opinions on nearly everything political, but I consider her a friend & would like to meet her in person one of these days. I don't agree with a lot of the things people do here, but it is their life & it isn't my place to dictate how others live their lives. I dislike some of the personal stuff that gets thrown around & I try to avoid it. I hate the trolling that gets done, but I firmly believe in the ignore them policy. We are supposed to all be adults here, I wish we would remember that. It would be an amazingly dull world if we all agreed about everything all of the time. My RL friends are an interesting mix, we disagree about a lot of things, but we are adult enough to respect each other's opinions without resorting to personal attacks.

 

[girl]

Re: Re: Disagreement = Dislike?

But lot's of different people think I dislike them or are attacking them when I disagree with them, it's quite confusing, because most of the time I don't even know them. I just think I have a strong opinion about the subject at hand.

I think this is very common, especially this week on this board, perky. Just today, I've read 3 different threads where someone argued against someone else's point strongly (or gave a strong opinion) and people jumped on them for 'attacking.' I was just wondering if people in general felt that if someone says that they're wrong and argues against their point, if they felt as if the person was attacking them, personally. I don't, myself. It usually makes me want to argue harder But when someone turns around and says that I'm attacking someone else, when all I'm doing is arguing against them...well, it confuses me.

girl

 

[Xander]

Nope, usually not. Though there has been times where I ahve gone off in anger.

I will however take pride and joy in my right to personally think they are stupid pathetic annoying assholes with a brain that has been washed a teeny weeny too many times in chemicals used for degreasing engines, for thinking the way they do.

 

[MunchinMark]

And once again no.

If someone disagrees strongly with my opinion, then I will discuss (read 'argue' here) it further. But I just don't get personal. I may attack your ideas but I'll never attack you. Insert Oscar Wilde quote here.

 

[Charles D.]

PC Crap

Bull. All the posts here have been so damned angelic and politically correct showing great adjustment and maturity. If you believe something strongly, you can't help but become a bit ego-involved with it. When someone "argues a strong opinion that is 'against' yours," almost all of us interpret that as saying our opinion is wrong. We see that as the person saying we are wrong, and that's essentially calling us inferior, i.e., an attack.

Agreed, others may not see it as an attack, but it's hard to thoroughly and passionately believe in something then have someone tell you where it is wrong without feeling a bit attacked.

And, people can disagree thoroughly with another without making the recipient feel inferiior, but it's really hard work, and requires very careful wording. And most of us don't do that.

Charles D.

 

[Cheyenne]

Hey, a newbie! Welcome to the board, Charles. That was a pretty good first post!

 

[Wiggles]

Re: PC Crap

Bull. All the posts here have been so damned angelic and politically correct showing great adjustment and maturity. If you believe something strongly, you can't help but become a bit ego-involved with it. When someone "argues a strong opinion that is 'against' yours," almost all of us interpret that as saying our opinion is wrong. We see that as the person saying we are wrong, and that's essentially calling us inferior, i.e., an attack.

Agreed, others may not see it as an attack, but it's hard to thoroughly and passionately believe in something then have someone tell you where it is wrong without feeling a bit attacked.

And, people can disagree thoroughly with another without making the recipient feel inferior, but it's really hard work, and requires very careful wording. And most of us don't do that.

Charles D.

I agree with this whole-heartedly. I've felt attacked before. It's not really that someone doesn't agree with me, it's just the way the word it.
If I think they're attacking my judgement, intelligence, or the truth behind these things, I get a little hot under the collar.
I love learning new things, I don't mind being corrected when I'm wrong.

If someone just comes across as saying, Look what a dumbass thing you said/ thought, that's not the same.

*edited for spelling, and also to say I hate sticking up for myself. From now on I'm going to try to let those little comments just pass by me. I will, however, still argue my point/opinion in an argument.

 

[ksmybuttons]

Argue? Wrong opinion? I find that I react negatively to posts/posters who are so bent on telling someone that they are wrong for their opinions. I can state my opinion. I am not going to tell someone they are wrong or argue with them about theirs or try to convert them. I expect the same type of behavior.

If someone desires more info on my opinion, or requests clarification, I will give it to them and I will ask someone the same. Before I state an opinion I have thought it out, I expect others have too. I work at being tolerant. Sometimes it is much more of a challenge than others.

 

[MunchinMark]

Of course someone who puts froward a view that conflicts with yours is saying that YOU ARE WRONG. What else could it mean? But they are attacking the idea and not you.

I don't see how being a reasonable human being can be bullshit. You have to live in a society with hundreds of conflicting views every day. When people come to personal attacks because of ideas we see the very worst of human nature.

 

[ksmybuttons]

Of course someone who puts froward a view that conflicts with yours is saying that YOU ARE WRONG. What else could it mean? But they are attacking the idea and not you.
.

I don't feel that someone with a differing opinion from me is wrong, I just believe they are following a different path than I am. It is not wrong. I just won't travel that path with them. We may find another path that we can share.