Dirty Talk

[LadyFairfax]

Her: "Did you let the dog out?"

Me: "Yes, did you start the dishwasher?"

Her: "No, I thought you would."

Me: "Oh well, good night".



Was it good for you?

 

[JohnnySavage]

There was an episode of Big Bang Theory where one of the nerds was trying to talk dirty to his girlfriend (on the computer). He nailed my dialogue.

 

[bronzeage]

I wish you guys hadn't derailed this thread, I actually wanted to keep this one kinda on topic.

There is nothing that gets lost as fast as mattress talk when it's taken out of context.

There are certain words and phrases which I like to say and I know delight her, but it's the timing and tone of voice which provide the magic. Spoken at any other time or any other place, they sound like really bad cyber.

 

[GracefullyYours]

This is old, but funny as hell:

http://boards.ign.com/The_Vestibule/b5296/53705317/?54

 

[Peregrinator]

This is old, but funny as hell:

http://boards.ign.com/The_Vestibule/b5296/53705317/?54

I'm crying.

This was my favorite:


I.F.: My $!@% is hard you ready to jump aboard?
1hOttYeVe: oh yhea im so wet right now
I.F.: Why you just shower?
1hOttYeVe: no im wet for you
I.F.: Did you ever play with supersoakers when you were a kid? or that gator $!@% you would dive and slide down, there was that badass pool at the end of it.
1hOttYeVe: What the !&$% are you talking about? You wanna cyber or not?
I.F.: I do! Sorry...I just didnt know why you were wet...then you say your wet for me, and im thinking I didnt even throw water on you...
I.F.: Im sorry lets continue!
1hOttYeVe: alright then...I walk over to you and start kissing your neck and chest
I.F.: I pop like 16 boners
1hOttYeVe: what the !&$%!
I.F.: what?

 

[GracefullyYours]

I'm crying.

*smiling*

 

[English Lady]

Dirty talk is great, whimpers moans and 'ohmygodyesohmnhhmhhhmmmmmm..' also works well for me.

"Did I give you permission to play with your cunt?"
"No Sir,"
"Dirty Slut,"
*spanked once on each thigh with remote control*
"Oh, Sir, I'm going to come."
"Good girl."

tasty snippet from this mornings fun with hubby.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Dirty talk is great, whimpers moans and 'ohmygodyesohmnhhmhhhmmmmmm..' also works well for me.

"Did I give you permission to play with your cunt?"
"No Sir,"
"Dirty Slut,"
*spanked once on each thigh with remote control*
"Oh, Sir, I'm going to come."
"Good girl."

tasty snippet from this mornings fun with hubby.

EL! baby!

 

[blunt_trauma]

i can't/won't talk during sex.

i've never had anyone try dirty talk on me. it's something i fap to but i think perhaps i something about me deters... i mean, i've had a reasonable amount of sex and not one has talked dirty to me. i feel a little sad that nobody has ever spewed forth filth as the pounded my cunt

 

[unregistered]

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

She said "Lick my taint"

 

[bronzeage]

i can't/won't talk during sex.

i've never had anyone try dirty talk on me. it's something i fap to but i think perhaps i something about me deters... i mean, i've had a reasonable amount of sex and not one has talked dirty to me. i feel a little sad that nobody has ever spewed forth filth as the pounded my cunt

The only woman who did not want me to talk was pretending I was someone else and I kept spoiling her fantasy.

 

[Farrah]

I'm a big fan of explicit detail...I like to be told the obvious sometimes. As in "I am going to finger fuck your tight pussy, and then I'm going to turn you over on your stomach," etc. I also love to vocalize my fantasies in the middle of things and hear his as well..."I want to see you sink to your knees in front of a man..."

TMI?

 

[Nerdy_Harold]

"fuck me like you hate me"

That is hot.

 

[naughtycakes]

I'm a big fan of explicit detail...I like to be told the obvious sometimes. As in "I am going to finger fuck your tight pussy, and then I'm going to turn you over on your stomach," etc. I also love to vocalize my fantasies in the middle of things and hear his as well..."I want to see you sink to your knees in front of a man..."

TMI?

Yes, same here. Being told what to do or what's about to happen is very hot in the moment.

A former boyfriend would always tell me "Assume the position," and I would turn over on my knees for him to enter me from behind.

It was hot the first couple of years - every time we had sex, without fail - but eventually I snapped and when he said it one day I was like "Oh Jesus, can we please deviate from the same fucking 'assume the position' every time?!?!?"

I can be a bitch

"fuck me like you hate me"

That is hot.

I'm gonna fuck you till your dick is blue!

Some good lines in Liz Phair's Flower

I'll fuck you and your minions, too.

 

[umbra01]

I am VERY much into dirty talk, its kind of funny because my husband isn't so much. We will go at it and I will try to prompt him and most of the time he is too hot and heavy to really say much, but he tries hehe

 

[naughtycakes]

Some dirty talk in Spanish:

Bomba Estereo - Cosita Rica (Yummy Little Thing/Pussy)

Y es que no tengo edad la vida no me alcanza
esque la soledad ya se me acabo
no tengo mas que mi vida y mi garganta
y no tengo fuerza pa’ decirte que no

si me miras un poquito yo te dejo
si me dejas yo ya no puedo volar
pero si no te das cuenta yo me pierdo
y si me pierdo ya no me puedes buscar
y si me pierdo ya no me puedes buscar

vengo de la playa la sangre que quema
mis ojos se enllaman mi piel es morena
tengo tantas ganas ya no aguanto mas
vamos esta noche a una vuelta dar
y llévame pal cine y vamos a bailar
para que empiece el cuerpo a sudar

una canción Sueve comienza el relajo
todos en a pista tu arriba yo abajo
coge pista coge pista, mira no te atajo
y a mi me gusta el basilao pegao
fumao, elevao, tambien conectao
por de ti yo estoy enamorao
y esta noche que nos coja los tragos
y lleva me a tu casa o adonde te plazca
por que contigo yo me siento hipnotizao
por que contigo yo me siento es conectao…

llevame pal cuarto, así esta mejor
pa’ que lentamente hagamos el amor si
quita me la ropa quita me a piel
abre bien los ojos que te quiero ver
besa me despacio y dame una caricia
y yo mientras tanto te levanto la camisa
yo sigo bajando dime que se siente
ahora que me acerco veo sudor en tu frente
me pongo en la cama todos hacia un lado
todos en la fiesta tu arriba
yo abajo arriba abajo

coge pista coge pista, mira no te atajo
y a mi me gusta el basilao pegao
fumao, elevao, tambien conectao
por de ti yo estoy enamorao
y esta noche que nos coja los tragos
y lleva me a tu casa o adonde te plazca
por que contigo yo me siento emocionado
por que contigo yo me siento es conectao…

todos en a pista tu arriba yo abajo
coge pista coge pista, mira no te atajo
y a mi me gusta el basilao pegao
fumao, elevao, tambien conectao
por de ti yo estoy enamorao
y esta noche que nos coja los tragos
y lleva me a tu casa o adonde te plazca
por que contigo yo me siento conectao
por que contigo yo me siento es enamorao

 

[warrior queen]

i still wub you petey

This thread was totally going somewhere till the baby talk.
What a turn-off.

 

[bg23]

her while i'm fucking her: "how does it feel?"
me while i'm fucking her: "how does what feel? your pussy? your pussy feels real good baby"
her as i'm about to cum: "yea baby how does it feel....after your best friend fucked it?"
me seconds after climax: "....what?"
her seconds after my climax: "i've decided to have two boyfriends, so from now on you'll be sharing me with your best friend!"

this was the last conversation i had with a college girlfriend. the end of a 4 month relationship. she was an insatiable slut and i still think about her when i jack off 80% of the time.

It's funny how people with whom you have incredibly intense sexual relationships haunt you in your masturbation even after the relationship ends.

That was an incredibly cruel way for her to tell you, though. She sounds kinda crazy. But crazy bitches are pretty good in bed.

 

[bg23]

I love being told I have a tight, little pussy.

I'm very much a dirty talker, I like to apply the dirty talk throughout the process.

Me too. Although half the time I'm too busy whimpering to be able to get the words out. He says he enjoys the noise just as much, so I don't feel too bad letting him do most of the talking.

 

[bg23]

Her: "Did you let the dog out?"

Me: "Yes, did you start the dishwasher?"

Her: "No, I thought you would."

Me: "Oh well, good night".



Was it good for you?

You and Pete dirty talk the same way.

Therefore, you must be the same person.

YEAH.

 

[bg23]

There was an episode of Big Bang Theory where one of the nerds was trying to talk dirty to his girlfriend (on the computer). He nailed my dialogue.

I loved that episode. It was unfair though, nerds can be great at dirty talk, they just need a little nudging!

 

[pointless]

we have multiquote now. you should look into it.

 

[bg23]

Dirty talk is great, whimpers moans and 'ohmygodyesohmnhhmhhhmmmmmm..' also works well for me.

"Did I give you permission to play with your cunt?"
"No Sir,"
"Dirty Slut,"
*spanked once on each thigh with remote control*
"Oh, Sir, I'm going to come."
"Good girl."

tasty snippet from this mornings fun with hubby.

Heh, the remote control part makes me giggle -- what if you broke it?!

 

[bg23]

we have multiquote now. you should look into it.

I refuse, and you can't make me.