dildos

he arrived in the mail! huge fucking package! i haven't opened it yet, due to life circumstances and zero alone time, but tomorrow is looking like a good stretchy morning! woot! i will take pictures. of the dildo. not of my cunt being stretched by said dildo. i can't wait to meet him. :heart:

Will you be giving him a name?

Dick Johnson maybe?
 
Will you be giving him a name?

Dick Johnson maybe?

i don't know. i've never named an appliance or aid. this may say something about personal attachment issues. he needs to be don something. not julio, because that's for the oralgasm, but don someone. there will be a christening and baptism and confirmation if this works out.

Mine is called "Magic Mike".

i never got the magic mike thing. then again, there's a lot i don't get, so it's not personal, just a- i was too busy to get off to that at that period in time, so i turned to organic produce and hermaphrodite turtles. or some shit like that. plus he does nothing for me. my brain flatlines.
 
i never got the magic mike thing. then again, there's a lot i don't get, so it's not personal, just a- i was too busy to get off to that at that period in time, so i turned to organic produce and hermaphrodite turtles. or some shit like that. plus he does nothing for me. my brain flatlines.

The first movie was painful to sit through. :(
 
i try to slip it in or slam onto is, but it keeps riding up the lips and slips out. then you have to steady the fucker, lose your balance, slip again hitting nothing. it works better just humping the balls.
 
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