Different views on life

[SeaCat]

As many of you know I am usually in disagreement with my co-workers about the number of hours a week I should be working. According to her because I refuse to work at least 20 hours of overtime a week I am a slacker and not a team player.

Well last week I got into a conversation with one of my co-workers about this. She didn't understand why I refused to work the 20+ overtime hours that she does. I tried to explain it and she just couldn't wrap her mind around it.

On the one hand I refuse to do so because of the office politics involved. If the powers that be see that people are more than willing to work the extra hours then they will continue to keep our staffing at short levels. Why hire another body or three when the ones there are willing to do the extra? (It's cheaper to pay the overtime than it is to hire a couple more people.)

On the other hand I don't need the extra money. This she truly didn't understand. Our views on things are too different for her to understand it. She has to have the latest and greatest. In five years she has bought three new cars without paying off one of them. Her latest is an Escalade. She and her husband live in a house with five bedrooms even though it is just the two of them. They are paying an incredible amount each month on this. They have to have the newest toys. I-Phones, a 47 inch Plasma TV, X-Box etc. She throws this in everyones face whenever she can.

Then I told her how I live and she looked at me as though I was insane. I live in an older Mobile Home I picked up for a song because it needs work. (I'm about halfway through this work by the way.) I drive a 2003 Chevy Tracker which I have paid off. My TV is a five year old 27 inch which is just fine for us. Our newest and greatest toy is my Motorcycle which cost us all of $1500.00. My wife and I also put away $500.00+ a month. ($300.00+ in an IRA and $200.00 a month in our play/emergency fund.)

She also didn't understand why I would want to make sure I had plenty of time off to be with my spouse. As far as she is concerned an hour or two together is enough and she doesn't understand why I didn't agree.

She called me a slacker and I agreed as I wished her luck in her life.

Cat

 

[Spawn_of_Cloudy]

People who let work control their lives ultimately become lonely in the end no matter how much money they have.

 

[JagFarlane]

Mmmm and in the end...I see you being happier in life

 

[SeaCat]

People who let work control their lives ultimately become lonely in the end no matter how much money they have.

For a youngster you have learned a lot. I blame your mother for this.

Cat

 

[starrkers]

Working to live beats living to work hands down in my opinion.

We used to have a good arrangement where I worked - we'd work back sometimes without claiming the overtime on busy days and would take long lunches or go home early on the slack days.
Then the boss changed. The new boss demanded we stay at work for every minute we were paid. She couldn't understand why we were suddenly claiming overtime. Then she decided she wasn't paying it. So we didn't work it. Then she got all confused as to why the job suddenly didn't get done as efficiently as before.

 

[Spawn_of_Cloudy]

I'm smarter then the average 19 year old lol. Well not really I think I'm just as stupid lol.

 

[Stella_Omega]

This has been an enormous roadblock in my life; I do not wish to commute two hours to and from a job, I want time with my family that is not only "quality time" but mundane time as well. I can't see why I should pay for a house waay out in the sticks, with a swimming pool that I will never have the chance to swim in-- or, indeed, ever see in daylight...

 

[lisa123414]

Seacat - I wholeheartedly agree with you. I work about thirty hours a week. A few years back, management tried everything to get me to work at least forty. I told them that their idea of full time was sixty or seventy, and if thirty was not enough, then they could let me go. It was quite a game of chicken, as the threats became larger and larger, until they decided they could accommodate me.
In my case, it was the four kids. I wanted to be home when they were not in school. People just don't understand this, but I don't mind driving an older car, and going camping instead of taking the kids to Europe. And I also have helped to train lots of helpers to cover for me!
hold your ground Cat, any healthcare facility is lucky to have you, and if they don't see this - walk (you and your sweet wife are always welcome here, if you find yourself between jobs, but that will not last long in this area)!

 

[SeaCat]

Mmmm and in the end...I see you being happier in life

I can look at myself in the mirror and smile if that's what you mean.

I enjoy the hell out of life and yet I plan for the future. (You don't want to know what my wife will get when I kick off.)

I do enjoy working but I refuse to be a slave. I also enjoy my time off. Hell I have even been known to take a nap in the afternoon just because it seemed like a good thing to do. (Can you think of anything better than stretching out on a pad on the patio in the early afternoon for a short nap? The breeze blowing over you as you lay there in the shade listening to the birds as a feline snuggles up to you? Turning your head and seeing your spouse stretched out next to you with their eyes closed and their breathing slowed as they dream?)

Cat

 

[Spawn_of_Cloudy]

I'd rather play guitar but thats still a relaxing activity lol.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Taxes eat up the overtime. Its not worthwhile to me.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Working to live beats living to work hands down in my opinion.

You said it, sister.

If I could possibly reduce my bills to what I make working 20 hours a week, I would do it, though I wouldn't have any extras. Unfortunately, I just can't seem to make that work. I look at the guides on reducing costs and think, I don't have any of those extras!

I just want lots of time to write.

 

[JagFarlane]

That has been one advantage with the Navy. When there is work to be done, we stay and work late hours. But every now and then we just hit a few days where there isn't much to be done...and they'll try to cut people out after a couple of hours of work. It is definatly a refreshing thing to leave work at 9am [workday starts at 6am] and know you have a whole day to do whatever you want. [generally for me its the local fishing hole, in a comfy collapsible chair and Coke in the drink holder]

 

[SeaCat]

This has been an enormous roadblock in my life; I do not wish to commute two hours to and from a job, I want time with my family that is not only "quality time" but mundane time as well. I can't see why I should pay for a house waay out in the sticks, with a swimming pool that I will never have the chance to swim in-- or, indeed, ever see in daylight...

Now here is the problem. I can see a long commute if I was doing something I truly enjoyed and was doing it with people I enjoyed working with. When I did Rescue I commuted an hour and a half each way and didn't mind in the least.

I love the work I'm doing now but I hate the mindset that has come to be in work. Where once we were respected proffesionals we are now nothing more than servants. Patient care has become secondary to their enjoyment of their stay.

If I could work in a place where I was treated with respect and enjoyed the work then I wouldn't mind a long commute. (Hell if I can ever get my wife to agree to commute on the bike this will make things better.)

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

I'm smarter then the average 19 year old lol. Well not really I think I'm just as stupid lol.

Hey we all have our moments. I have more than my share. On the other hand you seem to have a grasp on life that I like.

Cat

 

[rgraham666]

I've always been aware I've a different perspective on things.

But I often wish I could pretend that I didn't.

 

[SeaCat]

Taxes eat up the overtime. Its not worthwhile to me.

Amazingly this is true after a fairly short amount of overtime. I am with you on it not being worthwhile.

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

You said it, sister.

If I could possibly reduce my bills to what I make working 20 hours a week, I would do it, though I wouldn't have any extras. Unfortunately, I just can't seem to make that work. I look at the guides on reducing costs and think, I don't have any of those extras!

I just want lots of time to write.

I used to feel this way. In fact I worked so many hours of overtime it was insane just to survive. I was paying well over $1k a month just in rent. My wife and I started looking for a new place to live although we didn't hold out much hope for the county we were in. Then we pulled into a Mobile Home Park, it was the last one in the county we were willing to check out. (After this one we would start looking further to the north.) The Trailers they wewre offering were well beyond our means and we were feeling pretty down. Then the rep we were talking with asked if I was good with my hands. When I asked him what he meant he informed me he had a trailer that had been abandoned that they needed to move. It needed work but they prefered to sell it as opposed to crunching it.

We checked it out and didn't find it too bad. The ceiling was hanging in a couple of rooms. The roof leaked and the floors were rotten but structuraly it was sound. My wife and I talked it over and decided on what we would offer. They wanted $2k, we offered $1k. After a day they accepted and we bought the place. (If they crunched the place they would lose money, the lot it is on is sized for a single wide which is no longer made.)

After we moved in I fixed the roof and shored up the ceiling. Then we started the real work. We ripped out the flooring room by room and replaced it. We have started on replacing the ceilings while wiring them for LED Lights and Ceiling Fans. Once we are done with the ceilings we will start with the walls and the studs hidden behind them. (Not to mention the wiring included in these walls.)

Our last stage will be the master bathroom, which we are saving. We are slowly buying what we need for this and by the time we are done it will be a work of art.

As for saving money we do what we can. Foods are bought in bulk and used as we need them. Our entertainment is rental movies or those shown on Cable not to mention reading. We visit beaches and free venues. (Often to watch people.) Sometimes we splurge on something but that something allows us to do something else as well. (My wife got me a smoker which allows me to make things like Jerky, my favorite snack. We picked up a deep fryer on sale which along with allowing us to make things like Chicken Wings allows us to make donuts.) I fish a couple of times a week which gives us extra food and we always have our eyes open. (Our oranges come from an abandoned grove.)

Our lives are simple but we enjoy them.

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

I've always been aware I've a different perspective on things.

But I often wish I could pretend that I didn't.

I revel in being a bit different.

Cat

 

[jomar]

She's nuts. She needs a 52 inch LCD TV!

 

[OzoneRed]

Well, I'm going to take the contrarian position here: good for your unnamed co-worker! She knows what makes her happy, and she's willing to bust her ass to get it. I certainly can't criticize an attitude like that.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Hot Mama puts in so much overtime I fear, legitimately, for her health. I don't want to retire in material comfort but alone. She will not cut back because she's afraid that if the job doesn't get done, someone will die. That's possible but I maintain that if the job doesn't get done, management will eventually understand the need to hire someone else. And at her rate of pay, hiring someone else will save them money!

 

[cloudy]

Well, I'm going to take the contrarian position here: good for your unnamed co-worker! She knows what makes her happy, and she's willing to bust her ass to get it. I certainly can't criticize an attitude like that.

That's good for her, but what makes her happy isn't going to necessarily make someone else happy.

If she wants to work that much, she can have at it.

I like having a nice house, a nice car to drive, but it certainly isn't the end-all be-all. I could live without them quite easily.

We've also managed to have those things without using a single line of credit except for the house, and the motorcycle (my cadillac is paid for). If we can't pay cash for something (with the exception of big ticket items like the house and vehicles), then we really don't need it.

 

[Recidiva]

Your view on life is yours to determine.

I worked with several spiritual communities who live their life every moment, are devoted 24 hours a day for no money. All of their work is for the Universe or God or Buddha or salvation. Their belief in that drive is what gives them the fuel to work that hard, find their place.

I did do that myself here and there for a few years, but discovered that wasn't a balance that was good for me. I wanted a social life, a family, a child. I wanted a job I could disconnect from, that didn't determine my whole identity. Compartments, different spaces to occupy. I wasn't built physically or emotionally for the demands of 110% all the time. I burned out. Exhaustion, disillusionment and despair set in.

Now these days I've gone to the other extreme. My vocation, my job...is only there for the paycheck. I do it well and then I forget about it. I no longer live as if every moment of my life and effort is required to save the Universe. I know I'm doing a good thing, but it's something I can let go at the end of the day.

I have a life for myself, one that I enjoy for myself. I work in the medical field, but I've settled to the sidelines, where I can work steady hours and I'm only dealing with paperwork. (transcription and editing of the medical records) I can work at home, I can visit my husband, I can raise my kids, I can keep my house, all without burnout.

You're right there on the front lines, though, or have been? (nursing work? if memory serves.)

Good luck finding your balance. Your balance has to be internal, though. People will try to push and pull you off it to their way of thinking, probably forever. It's holding your space and knowing it's right that counts. Right for you.

From "A Man for All Seasons" -

The Duke of Norfolk: Oh confound all this. I'm not a scholar, I don't know whether the marriage was lawful or not but dammit, Thomas, look at these names! Why can't you do as I did and come with us, for fellowship!
Sir Thomas More: And when we die, and you are sent to heaven for doing your conscience, and I am sent to hell for not doing mine, will you come with me, for fellowship?

 

[Trinique_Fire]

As many of you know I am usually in disagreement with my co-workers about the number of hours a week I should be working. According to her because I refuse to work at least 20 hours of overtime a week I am a slacker and not a team player.

Well last week I got into a conversation with one of my co-workers about this. She didn't understand why I refused to work the 20+ overtime hours that she does. I tried to explain it and she just couldn't wrap her mind around it.

On the one hand I refuse to do so because of the office politics involved. If the powers that be see that people are more than willing to work the extra hours then they will continue to keep our staffing at short levels. Why hire another body or three when the ones there are willing to do the extra? (It's cheaper to pay the overtime than it is to hire a couple more people.)

On the other hand I don't need the extra money. This she truly didn't understand. Our views on things are too different for her to understand it. She has to have the latest and greatest. In five years she has bought three new cars without paying off one of them. Her latest is an Escalade. She and her husband live in a house with five bedrooms even though it is just the two of them. They are paying an incredible amount each month on this. They have to have the newest toys. I-Phones, a 47 inch Plasma TV, X-Box etc. She throws this in everyones face whenever she can.

Then I told her how I live and she looked at me as though I was insane. I live in an older Mobile Home I picked up for a song because it needs work. (I'm about halfway through this work by the way.) I drive a 2003 Chevy Tracker which I have paid off. My TV is a five year old 27 inch which is just fine for us. Our newest and greatest toy is my Motorcycle which cost us all of $1500.00. My wife and I also put away $500.00+ a month. ($300.00+ in an IRA and $200.00 a month in our play/emergency fund.)

She also didn't understand why I would want to make sure I had plenty of time off to be with my spouse. As far as she is concerned an hour or two together is enough and she doesn't understand why I didn't agree.

She called me a slacker and I agreed as I wished her luck in her life.

Cat

I see debt and divorce in her future.