Did your Master/Mistress save your life?

[CollaredTigressK8]

When i met my Master, i was undergoing shock therapy for bipolar disorder. The year before, i had attempted suicide three times, was on disability (i thought then, permanently), had left school, and didn't think i would ever make anything of my life, mostly owing to the fact that i was so doped up on anti-psychotics that all i ever wanted to do was sleep.

At first, W/we were just friends, but when our relationship began to get serious, the first thing He told me was that i would never harm myself again if i wanted to be with Him. The second thing He told me was that i was going to go back to school and finish my degree. As it stands, i just took my most difficult final this morning (and passed rather well, i believe) and i am four days and nineteen hours from graduation. i am also off all medications (with my doctor's blessing) and instead, my diet is caffeine free. Now my sleep is restful for the first time in years.

i always knew that i needed someone to guide me, but the way i was raised, i never took a D/s relationship into consideration until Master came into my life. After He admitted that He had fantasies of dominating me, everything began to make sense; the way i always tried to obey Him, the way i trusted Him implicitly... and though W/we said at first that this wasn't going to be a 24/7 thing, it is. i am always aware of the power He has over me, even when we're just being silly, and i am always aware of when i overstep my boundaries or "over-brat." Most of the time He lets me get away with it; He likes that i have retained my spirit... but when He doesn't, and i am punished, i think sometimes that i put myself through more pain and guilt than He does, because i so hate to displease Him.

When i look over the last year, remembering where i was and seeing where i am now, i know that it has everything in the world to do with Him. i don't believe i would have been able to accomplish the things i have for anyone else, including myself alone.

Does anyone else feel like this?

kate

PS: i am (now) able to stand on my own two feet, but i will never be a leader, and i know this. i am fully aware that i could lose Him, especially with regard to His illness. i'm not saying that i depend on Him to keep me alive, i am simply saying that He succeeded where others failed in getting me to realize my own potential.

Yes, i was (and sometimes still am) a bit of a loony, but some would argue that insanity is nothing more than unbridled creative genius. ;-P

 

[Trajal]

ooh you're a bit of a loony !!!!!!!! fiddle up fiddley up!

 

[catalina_francisco]

I have heard of it before, but it is not the type submission I am a big fan of simply because it is usually limited to if you remain together and happy. Take away the prop or Master/Mistress and the sub goes back to where they were and usually further which is far from healthy. I am happy to have the support of the one I have submitted to in moments of need, but I am also fortunate in having lived a life, and been through many traumas and trials and learnt that when it comes down to it, I will force myself to survive. The suport of another is wonderful, but if it was gone tomorrow, as shattered and desolate as I may be, I would not fall into the heap he could never have admired and relied on to do as he wished and demanded.

Catalina

 

[Trajal]

Holy fucking hell i just noticed you're from Wheeling WV...

We should talk sometime... My ex-wife's father basically owned that town lol. Huge warehouses and a factory there. I ran the company for a while. I can give you all sorts of headsup on that shit.

Spam me in pm sometime, and fuck that asshole who saved your life... that's not D/s that's just S/ad

peace and love babe.

 

[shy slave]

Collard T, find ing someone who believes in you, when you have given up on yourself is a wonderful thing.

It is also good to hear you can stand on your own two feet, not everyone needs to be a leader.

 

[FurryFury]

Holy fucking hell i just noticed you're from Wheeling WV...

We should talk sometime... My ex-wife's father basically owned that town lol. Huge warehouses and a factory there. I ran the company for a while. I can give you all sorts of headsup on that shit.

Spam me in pm sometime, and fuck that asshole who saved your life... that's not D/s that's just S/ad

peace and love babe.

Why are you so hostile and condescending to the OP?

Fury

 

[Bandit58]

Like the OP, I will most probably lose my Master due to His illnesses (but hopefully not for a long time in the future!). However devastated I would be, I would do my best to live up to His memory and I know that I can cope on my own (having done that in the two years prior to us getting together).

He did not save my life as such, but I now have more confidence in myself than I did before. I will make better choices, and stand up for myself more. Being a natural sub does have its disadvantages

 

[subtleone]

When i met my Master, i was undergoing shock therapy for bipolar disorder. The year before, i had attempted suicide three times, was on disability (i thought then, permanently), had left school, and didn't think i would ever make anything of my life, mostly owing to the fact that i was so doped up on anti-psychotics that all i ever wanted to do was sleep.

At first, W/we were just friends, but when our relationship began to get serious, the first thing He told me was that i would never harm myself again if i wanted to be with Him. The second thing He told me was that i was going to go back to school and finish my degree. As it stands, i just took my most difficult final this morning (and passed rather well, i believe) and i am four days and nineteen hours from graduation. i am also off all medications (with my doctor's blessing) and instead, my diet is caffeine free. Now my sleep is restful for the first time in years.

i always knew that i needed someone to guide me, but the way i was raised, i never took a D/s relationship into consideration until Master came into my life. After He admitted that He had fantasies of dominating me, everything began to make sense; the way i always tried to obey Him, the way i trusted Him implicitly... and though W/we said at first that this wasn't going to be a 24/7 thing, it is. i am always aware of the power He has over me, even when we're just being silly, and i am always aware of when i overstep my boundaries or "over-brat." Most of the time He lets me get away with it; He likes that i have retained my spirit... but when He doesn't, and i am punished, i think sometimes that i put myself through more pain and guilt than He does, because i so hate to displease Him.

When i look over the last year, remembering where i was and seeing where i am now, i know that it has everything in the world to do with Him. i don't believe i would have been able to accomplish the things i have for anyone else, including myself alone.

Does anyone else feel like this?

kate

PS: i am (now) able to stand on my own two feet, but i will never be a leader, and i know this. i am fully aware that i could lose Him, especially with regard to His illness. i'm not saying that i depend on Him to keep me alive, i am simply saying that He succeeded where others failed in getting me to realize my own potential.

Yes, i was (and sometimes still am) a bit of a loony, but some would argue that insanity is nothing more than unbridled creative genius. ;-P

Ohhh that reads just like the script of 'The Secretary' have you seen it? Might be worth a watch

Edited to add: BTW my Master didnt save my life - just made it

 

[ownedsubgal]

yes my Master very much saved my life. i've struggled with severe chronic depression for most of my life, which to this day has remained untreatable, and in addition have always had major anxiety and self-esteem issues. before i met my Master i was extremely self-destructive (didn't care what happened to me..would hop in cars with strangers on the street, give my address to some psycho on the internet, anything) and had attempted suicide several times. on top of all this i am a natural submissive, and was constantly being used and abused by people because of my desire to please and inability to say no or protect myself.

then at 19 i meet and am collared by my Master, and things begin to very gradually change. the first couple of years were still difficult...my depression was unusually bad and there were 2 more suicide attempts, one which led to a long (involuntary) in-patient psych stay. but he didn't give up on me. not for a moment, altho a sane, lesser man would have been gone after the first few months. He taught and showed me that i was a person of worth and value, and also made it very clear to me that my life was no longer my own to take. the fact that he wanted me and saw so much value in me made me feel better and better about myself. where i saw an ugly, useless, overly submissive loser that nobody could ever want, he saw a beautiful, rare, priceless treasure who he'd been waiting his whole life for, and who he would walk the earth for if necessary.


now i still have my issues...the depression is something that likely will always be with me...and i'm still not able to function independently in the world. if i ever lost my Master life would be meaningless to me, and i still wouldn't know (or care) about the basics of everyday survival. but these are not things my Master wants to instill me...if anything he has made me more dependent, more helpless than i ever was before. because that is how i can best serve him, and serving him is my life's purpose. works for us.

however there are Masters who take a slave with similar issues and build and train her to be strong and independent, so that if something ever happens to them they can cope with it and go on and thrive.

 

[FurryFury]

Nope. There is no life saving going on here. I'm pretty damned glad of it too. That's a bit much to put on another person IMO. I sure as hell wouldn't want it put on me.

Fury