Did she really cheat on me?

[amigayorbi]

Hi, I just started talking about my wife here on Lit, and getting aroused by it and mentioned a couple of doubts (mostly harmless speculations) I had that she may have at one time cheated on me.

But as I have told this to 2-3 people, they are quite certain that she did which does impact how I think.

I feel both disappointed any some part of me still aroused (I thought it's fantasy which would only arouse me).

Not sure if dwelling on it would make any sense but I wanted to put this out there.

Speculations:

1. Before sex, one day I saw her taking out the condoms we use, from her purse (which she took to her outbound work trip).
2. Around that time, when she wanted to test for pregnancy, I remember there were 1-2 less strips for sure and there seemed no reason to have used them.

Now these two don't add up but they did make me doubt on both instances and I convinced myself she would be loyal and won't cheat.

But I am beginning to have second thoughts. She did (and still does) talk very fondly (with reverence) of her boss (and he irritates me even to this day for the person he is)

 

[Islander55]

Hi, I just started talking about my wife here on Lit, and getting aroused by it and mentioned a couple of doubts (mostly harmless speculations) I had that she may have at one time cheated on me.

But as I have told this to 2-3 people, they are quite certain that she did which does impact how I think.

I feel both disappointed any some part of me still aroused (I thought it's fantasy which would only arouse me).

Not sure if dwelling on it would make any sense but I wanted to put this out there.

Speculations:

1. Before sex, one day I saw her taking out the condoms we use, from her purse (which she took to her outbound work trip).
2. Around that time, when she wanted to test for pregnancy, I remember there were 1-2 less strips for sure and there seemed no reason to have used them.

Now these two don't add up but they did make me doubt on both instances and I convinced myself she would be loyal and won't cheat.

But I am beginning to have second thoughts. She did (and still does) talk very fondly (with reverence) of her boss (and he irritates me even to this day for the person he is)

I have talked to a lot of men here and the biggest complaint is that their wife is not longer interested in sex so I would suggest that you are fortunate to have a wife that does enjoy sex. Personally I think monogamy is not natural for humans. Most of us like and need some variety. I would think you would be better in the long run to just let her explore her sexuality. Now if she is ignoring you, that is a whole different issue but most women can take care of several men without a problem.

 

[Paguy8641]

Islander55 does have a good point. I would suggest that you ask her about it directly but stay open minded and don’t get angry if you don’t like her answers. It is her body and she has a right to choose what she wants to do with it. You on the other hand have a right to do what you want also. If you don’t like the answer walk away. But this could be the beginning to something beautiful. Good luck.

 

[amigayorbi]

I agree, just to give some context, this is when we were actively having sex before we became parents. And since then, its been very rare. So when I think about all of it and what you are saying, it does make me feel there is a scope to spice things up and have a conversation. Just that I am very uptight about it all and have never expressed by desires and fantasies or asked hers.

 

[Paguy8641]

I agree, just to give some context, this is when we were actively having sex before we became parents. And since then, its been very rare. So when I think about all of it and what you are saying, it does make me feel there is a scope to spice things up and have a conversation. Just that I am very uptight about it all and have never expressed by desires and fantasies or asked hers.

Open and honest conversations are always the best way to go.

 

[amigayorbi]

Islander55 does have a good point. I would suggest that you ask her about it directly but stay open minded and don’t get angry if you don’t like her answers. It is her body and she has a right to choose what she wants to do with it. You on the other hand have a right to do what you want also. If you don’t like the answer walk away. But this could be the beginning to something beautiful. Good luck.

I must thank you for encouraging me to talk about her and to her. The last 2 days have made me talk about it and you have been very kind and instrumental. I won't leave her ever I think.

 

[Paguy8641]

Glad to hear and I would love to hear how things turn out. I hope you enjoy your hotwife.

 

[Britva415]

You've been thinking about this for years and never wanted to bring it up. At this point what difference would it make if you found out she did? Or if she didn't? It seems from your other threads that there are conflicts and friction in your marriage now. Focus on the present ones. It is not worth anything to bring up ones from years and years ago.

 

[jcED8723]

Hi, I just started talking about my wife here on Lit, and getting aroused by it and mentioned a couple of doubts (mostly harmless speculations) I had that she may have at one time cheated on me.

But as I have told this to 2-3 people, they are quite certain that she did which does impact how I think.

I feel both disappointed any some part of me still aroused (I thought it's fantasy which would only arouse me).

Not sure if dwelling on it would make any sense but I wanted to put this out there.

Speculations:

1. Before sex, one day I saw her taking out the condoms we use, from her purse (which she took to her outbound work trip).
2. Around that time, when she wanted to test for pregnancy, I remember there were 1-2 less strips for sure and there seemed no reason to have used them.

Now these two don't add up but they did make me doubt on both instances and I convinced myself she would be loyal and won't cheat.

But I am beginning to have second thoughts. She did (and still does) talk very fondly (with reverence) of her boss (and he irritates me even to this day for the person he is)

If there are doubts then yes bud..

 

[amigayorbi]

You've been thinking about this for years and never wanted to bring it up. At this point what difference would it make if you found out she did? Or if she didn't? It seems from your other threads that there are conflicts and friction in your marriage now. Focus on the present ones. It is not worth anything to bring up ones from years and years ago.

I was just wondering if it did happen, it may be a chance to talk about things and spice things up

 

[amigayorbi]

If there are doubts then yes bud..

That does leave me with mixed feelings

 

[amigayorbi]

I have got some good advice yesterday and I am going to act on it.

This is more of a speculative update but she told me yesterday that on her next out of town work trip she would be staying at the hotel rather than with family there as she always misses the after work parties.

She would be travelling alone of course.

I am prepared to speak with her about our sex life either way and if something comes up, I plan to be cool about it. Wish me luck

 

[amigayorbi]

Still trying to get her to get in bed with me, she is very reluctant for some reason.

And something I just remembered, how is nothing again.

Recently someone pointed out to her in front of me that she does not wear her ring in the right finger and people would think she is available.

She just said it fits right in this one and then nothing!

 

[Rob_Royale]

Clue number one. If she's got condoms in her purse and isn't fucking you then she's fucking someone else.

 

[LeeKee]

Clue number one. If she's got condoms in her purse and isn't fucking you then she's fucking someone else.

My wife hasn't been on the pill for years. Made it point to show me that she packed birth control for her month long business trip. We haven't had sex in 2 years. Geeee, now I wonder....

Kinda fuckin obvious there. She actually showed it to me, and said "these are coming along"

Total wtf moment. So, it doesn't take Sherlock fuckin Holms to figure this out.

If she does, ok. I'm not there to stop her.

But to answer the original post, yes. She is getting dick or plans/intends/hopes to get dick.

 

[NightL]

Look at this person's posting history before bothering to reply. It would appear they are play acting a fantasy with this thread.

 

[amigayorbi]

No play acting man, it was all pent up.

And yes these are all what-ifs but are all true.

By the way she came back from her work trip and I would like to thing nothing happened. There you go.

 

[Britva415]

No play acting man, it was all pent up.

And yes these are all what-ifs but are all true.

By the way she came back from her work trip and I would like to thing nothing happened. There you go.

I don't buy it. The story keeps changing.

First it was about a trip from years and years ago, and you wanted to talk about it to "spice things up." Now she has just come back and you want to just ignore it?

Inconsistent.

 

[amigayorbi]

Forgive me for I have sinned

 

[Zosofan1000]

Do you manage her cell phone account? If so, you can bring up her call history to see what numbers she called and when. There are reverse phone book websites that can tell you the names associated with the numbers. If she's meeting a lover during these trips, she is likely calling or texting him ahead of time and when she arrives.

 

[amigayorbi]

Do you manage her cell phone account? If so, you can bring up her call history to see what numbers she called and when. There are reverse phone book websites that can tell you the names associated with the numbers. If she's meeting a lover during these trips, she is likely calling or texting him ahead of time and when she arrives.

Sadly I don’t.

But we do know each other’s phone passwords. I have mixed feelings about checking her phone in that way.

 

[gtnlynn]

My first clues were the hickeys on her tits.

 

[Dnthmn_19]

I was certain my first wife was cheating on me and there was nothing arousing about it.

 

[SPARTAN047]

This is so hard to answer — both women and men sometimes tease and hint at cheating to arouse their partner's jealousy, protective instinct and make them react.

I'd say she probably is really doing it based on how long she's doing it and what you described.

I've had so many instances where people claimed they wanted a relationship with me were definitely chatting to everyone else online and IRL. They told me that themselves and I figured that some of the things which they claimed happened were difficult or impossible given their circumstances, or what they told me earlier. So I figured they were just targeting my jealousy and rage. That's also a possibility with you.

 

[Justfantasies]

Women look for mates. If they aren't completely committed to their current mates they will keep looking