Dick.

[shereads]

Recently, we learned from Dick Cheney that the Vice President's office is exempt from certain rules that govern the Executive Branch; specifically, the requirement that records be kept intact for the National Archives. The Washington Post alleges that Cheney's office has used third-party email services to protect its communications - not from enemy spies or enemy journalists, but from history.

Some observations:

Jon Stewart, The Daily Show: Cheney as The Highlander

"How do you shoot an old man in the face and get him to apologize?" says 'Daily Show' host Jon Stewart, referring to the infamous hunting accident involving Vice President Cheney. "Ooh Cheney, he must be evil, ooh, what's he hiding, what are his secrets?

"Well as it turns out," Stewart continues, referring to the new Washington Post series focusing on Cheney, "what he was hiding, was everything."

"Dick Cheney exists neither in the executive branch nor the legislative, yet simultaneously in both," 'Daily Show' correspondent John Oliver adds. "He is neither man nor beast, yet has elements of the twain. He is at once everything and nothing, substance without form, shape without motion, time without reason... he is the Highlander."

~ ~ ~


Wonkette: "Also, he totally shot that old man in the face, just for fun."

Dick Cheney is so evil, the Post has started a blog about him. In a lengthy four-part series, the Post will lay bare the Dick Cheney story, and basically summarize and clarify everything we already know about him with but new, entertainingly terrifying anecdotes and interviews.

Like yesterday’s story of Dan Quayle visiting the new Veep in 2001:

“I said, ‘Dick, you know, you’re going to be doing a lot of this international traveling, you’re going to be doing all this political fundraising … you’ll be going to the funerals,’ ” Quayle said in an interview earlier this year. “I mean, this is what vice presidents do. I said, ‘We’ve all done it.’ “ Cheney “got that little smile,” Quayle said, and replied, “I have a different understanding with the president.”

Cheney was not content to sit around and wait for Bush to die — after all, Bush jogs, it could be years yet, and there’s only a limited supply of orphan blood to keep Dick on his swollen, clotted feet. Instead, Dick invented a new job for the Vice President. He would not be content to bang gavels in the Senate and appear on Celebrity Jeopardy, as his predecessors had.

Cheney preferred, and Bush approved, a mandate that gave him access to “every table and every meeting,” making his voice heard in “whatever area the vice president feels he wants to be active in,” Bolten said.

He keeps all his papers in ridiculous cartoon safes, and stamps every document that he sees with “Top Secret” — like even the lunch menu and those little certificates they hand out when the Little League World Series champions meet the president. He asserts that he is, himself, his own branch of government. Here, for a laugh, is how he responded to the collapse of the second tower on 9/11:

Cheney made no sound. “I remember turning my head and looking at the vice president, and his expression never changed,” said the witness, reading from a notebook of observations written that day. Cheney closed his eyes against the image for one long, slow blink.

While everyone else cried or shit their pants, Cheney decided to hire some lawyers, reinterpret constitutional law, and figure out how to get away with throwing away most of a century’s worth of war crimes precedent and policy.

As a couple other occasional stories have shown us, David Addington is the second-most evil man in the administration. Alberto Gonzales, as usual, comes off as a fucking moron willing to allow his name to be attached to any crazy document drafted by the OVP.

Dick Cheney also didn’t care about black people. A particuarly fun subplot of the first Bush term is the way NSA adviser Condoleezza Rice and Secretary of State Colin Powell never had any clue what the hell Cheney was doing, as he took complete control over policies supposedly under the purviews of their agencies. All documents prepared for Rice were secretly funneled to Cheney, and she and Powell seemed to learn what their administration was up to primarily by watching CNN.

Today’s installment is all about torture. If you happen to be interrogating someone who may not have anything to do with al-Qaeda, or the Taliban, or the Iraqi insurgency, or maybe just looks funny, it’s very important reading. FYI, you can do almost anything you want to him.

That same day, Aug. 1, 2002, Yoo signed off on a second secret opinion, the contents of which have never been made public. According to a source with direct knowledge, that opinion approved as lawful a long list of specific interrogation techniques proposed by the CIA — including waterboarding, a form of near-drowning that the U.S. government classified as a war crime in 1947. The opinion drew the line against one request: threatening to bury a prisoner alive.

We can’t believe those left-wing loonies in Cheney’s office would dare to restrict our boys from using every tool at their disposal during a time of war. If the CIA wants to cover suspected terrorists in honey and bury them up to their necks then goddammit they must have a pretty good reason to! Jack Bauer blah blah!

(Rice and Powell learned about that memo two years later, after reading about it in the Post — they are totally the comic relief of this whole story.)

Thankfully, even as Cheney’s power ebbs, ever so slightly, in these final years of the Bush presidency, as he finds himself often reduced to merely standing in bushes hundreds of court-mandated feet from journalists assembled at press conferences, even as reasonable-by-comparison officials join the administration, even as Bush himself has seemed to soften his “I can torture anyone I want for any reason” stance, we can all rest easy knowing that the damage he’s down to our nation, and the entire world, will not soon heal in this lifetime.

A year after Bush announced at a news conference that “I’d like to close Guantanamo,” plans to expand it are proceeding. Senior officials said Cheney, standing nearly alone, has turned back strong efforts — by Rice, England, new Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates and former Bush speechwriter Mike Gerson, among others — to give the president what he said he wants.

Also he totally shot an old man in the face last year just for fun.

~ ~ ~


Another blogger, commenting on Wonkette's Cheney rant: "Will you be ordering the Manure a la Donkey, or the Manure d'Elephant with your Treason du Jour?"

While Bush definitely looks worse and worse under even cursory investigation, I think Cheney may turn out to be the arch-villain of recent history (might hold off on that, in case Clinton gets her shot at it). Suddenly all this bad press--is his teflon wearing thin? Is he to be the fall guy? 15 minutes of bad press, $100,000,000 more to lawyers/special prosecutors for another "investigation," retirement with full benefits, then back to the "private sector" (did he ever leave?) at BechtelBlackwaterHalliburton.

What's the point, in these last miserable months of the Bush administration? Who is he taking the fall for? Bush will get his auto-pardon as Act 1 of the next President (Hillary?!), so maybe he's covering for moneypit, inc over at PentagonBoingLockheed?

Take a look at this on Google, apparently pulled from MSNBC right after it was posted: "CIA to Air Decades of Its Dirty Laundry"

Interesting timing. Presumably stale dirty laundry, Statute of Limitations-wise. Or maybe a switch from obfuscating crime, to burying us in and clogging the courts with more than can be prosecuted in anyone's lifetime.

And, what further crimes and treasons will be perpetrated while we're being offered these distractions (assuming business-as-usual)? Maybe building another 100 million vacancies in barbed-wire condos, conveniently adjacent to all major US population centers, complete with environmentally-friendly public transportation (one-way, via boxcar)--those Neocons think of everything!

In other news: Will the GOP obligingly repay the Democrats in kind for rigging the last election and getting Bush reelected, by foisting someone as unelectable as Kerry was? While the Democrat's own Barak Osama-bin-Ohmygod does his part, making our favorite Liberal-Neocon-Trilateralist-Bilderberger Senator from NY look as electable as apple pie by contrast in the eyes of the WASP majority (they won't have this problem to worry about much longer, thanks to relentless bi-partisan treason and our trusty Department of Third-World, oops, Latinoland, oops, Homeland Security).

Perhaps the main purpose in dangling Cheney is to repay the Democrats by so thoroughly smearing the GOP, with the idea that even if they come up with someone electable, no one will vote for them. Can a third-party hopeful get within a mile? The electoral college etc. isn't corrupt enough, Diebold's new! improved! auto re-tally voting machines recast all third-party votes to the highest-bribing, er, bidding RepublOcrat. Will you be ordering the Manure a la Donkey, or the Manure 'd Elephant with your Treason du Jour?

 

[Zeb_Carter]

As the Vice President is not part of the Executive Branch he is exempt from any executive order. The executive branch is made up of the President and his cabinet. The constitution says nothing about the Vice President.

The Vice President of the United States is the first in the presidential line of succession, becoming the new President of the United States upon the death, resignation, or removal of the President. As designated by the Constitution of the United States, the vice president also serves as the President of the Senate, and may break tie votes in that chamber. The current Vice President of the United States is Richard Bruce "Dick" Cheney. The Vice President is not a member of any of the three branches of government; he is a member of a 4th branch that has the privilege to choose when it is part of the Executive or Legislative.

 

[shereads]

As the Vice President is not part of the Executive Branch he is exempt from any executive order. The executive branch is made up of the President and his cabinet. The constitution says nothing about the Vice President.

That's a little like saying that an alternate juror doesn't have to hang out with the rest of the jury. After all, he's only a Vice Juror...

It's always interesting to see conservatives ignore the spirit of the law and cling to technicalities when it suits their purpose - yet when some crack-head "gets off on a technicality," you are outraged. What's it like living in a brain so compartmentalized that the conscience can't communicate with the databank?

Also, what is it with you right-wingers and Wikipedia? Are you aware that any idiot can post an article to Wikipedia? It's a participant forum, like Literotica, but with looser story guidelines.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Dick.

I'm not a fan.

 

[rgraham666]

I'm not a fan.

Me either.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Me either.

 

[shereads]

I'm not a fan.

I like dick. It's Dick I have a problem with.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I like dick. It's Dick I have a problem with.

That's a serious case of Case you have there.

 

[shereads]

That's a serious case of Case you have there.

How many Wood Monkeys can I put you down for? They've hatched a new litter.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

That's a little like saying that an alternate juror doesn't have to hang out with the rest of the jury. After all, he's only a Vice Juror...

It's always interesting to see conservatives ignore the spirit of the law and cling to technicalities when it suits their purpose - yet when some crack-head "gets off on a technicality," you are outraged. What's it like living in a brain so compartmentalized that the conscience can't communicate with the databank?

There is no "spirit of the law" here. The office of Vice President is not part of the Executive Branch nor the Legislative Branch. The office is an entity of it's own, there as a safeguard in case the President can not perform his/her duties. Such as being dead or mentally incapacitated, which in my book are one in the same.

I never said he doesn't have to pay attention, I just said he is not subject to the Executive Branch orders.

Try reading what I write without trying to put spin on it that's not there.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

How many Wood Monkeys can I put you down for? They've hatched a new litter.

I suppose I could take half a dozen off your hands. There's a little old shed out back that could use their love.

 

[shereads]

There is no "spirit of the law" here. The office of Vice President is not part of the Executive Branch nor the Legislative Branch. The office is an entity of it's own, there as a safeguard in case the President can not perform his/her duties. Such as being dead or mentally incapacitated, which in my book are one in the same.

I never said he doesn't have to pay attention, I just said he is not subject to the Executive Branch orders.

Try reading what I write without trying to put spin on it that's not there.

Dick Cheney is the first Vice President to have fired a cabinet member (Treasury Sec. Price) and is at least as involved with the President's cabinet as the President himself. In every way but one - a technicality, as you would call it in a criminal action - this Vice President is a key participant and administrator within the Executive Branch.

There's no need to spin your post to determine that you're defending Cheney's right to retain secrecy privileges to which he is not entitled under the spirit of the law - which indeed applies, since the law was clearly intended to protect the "transparency" of our government by assuring that even "Top Secret" documents are archived for the day when they can be declassified and become part of the historic record.

The fact that no one thought to add, "Oh, and the Vice President has to do it too, if he happens to share power with the Chief Executive," is a technicality.

Again, I have to wonder how the right wing is able to split these fine hairs: you despise lawyers because they use technicalities to free their clients, yet you have no problem when one of your own - who happens to hold a position of immeasurable power, paid for from the public coffers - uses exactly the same tactic to justify an unprecedented degree of secrecy in the conduct of his office.

By every practical definition, Cheney isn't part of the Executive Branch. He is the Executive Branch:

A year after Bush announced at a news conference that “I’d like to close Guantanamo,” plans to expand it are proceeding. Senior officials said Cheney, standing nearly alone, has turned back strong efforts — by Rice, England, new Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates and former Bush speechwriter Mike Gerson, among others — to give the president what he said he wants.

 

[Edward Teach]

Dick Cheney is the first Vice President to have fired a cabinet member (Treasury Sec. Price) and is at least as involved with the President's cabinet as the President himself. In every way but one - a technicality, as you would call it in a criminal action - this Vice President is a key participant and administrator within the Executive Branch.

There's no need to spin your post to determine that you're defending Cheney's right to retain secrecy privileges to which he is not entitled under the spirit of the law - which indeed applies, since the law was clearly intended to protect the "transparency" of our government by assuring that even "Top Secret" documents are archived for the day when they can be declassified and become part of the historic record.

The fact that no one thought to add, "Oh, and the Vice President has to do it too, if he happens to share power with the Chief Executive," is a technicality.

Again, I have to wonder how the right wing is able to split these fine hairs: you despise lawyers because they use technicalities to free their clients, yet you have no problem when one of your own - who happens to hold a position of immeasurable power, paid for from the public coffers - uses exactly the same tactic to justify an unprecedented degree of secrecy in the conduct of his office.

By every practical definition, Cheney isn't part of the Executive Branch. He is the Executive Branch:

Do you not understand that we are at war and that criticizing our great nation's proud, unerring leaders undermines that effort. What are you, a Communist?

Eddie the Eneagled

 

[elsol]

If we accept Zeb's interpretaion of the constitution, the Vice-President has absolutely no constitutional powers.

Somebody needs to sue Dick for violating the law of the land.

 

[shereads]

Do you not understand that we are at war and that criticizing our great nation's proud, unerring leaders undermines that effort. What are you, a Communist?

Eddie the Eneagled

Not yet.

 

[elsol]

Again, I have to wonder how the right wing is able to split these fine hairs: you despise lawyers because they use technicalities to free their clients, yet you have no problem when one of your own - who happens to hold a position of immeasurable power, paid for from the public coffers - uses exactly the same tactic to justify an unprecedented degree of secrecy in the conduct of his office.

That's because, shereads... you don't get it.

None of these people hate lawyers... they hate the other guy's lawyers.

When a lawyer reads something and snickers, whoever is paying him either gets wood or their clit comes out to say hi.

 

[Liar]

Take is as you wish, it's a Huffington post Op-ed after all. But the fact remains. if the VP office is not under executive obligations, it also can't claim executive privilige.

That is, if Eskow is correct here. Anyone knows?



-----

Cheney's Not in the Executive Branch? Sounds Good to Me!

RJ Eskow

Posted June 23, 2007 | 01:48 PM (EST)

By now you've heard about Dick Cheney's fascinating new legal argument that he's not in the executive branch, so he doesn't have to comply with executive secrecy rules. I'm not always Rahm Emanuel's biggest fan, but his plan to cut executive-branch funding for the VP's office is a very sensible response. On the other hand, let's not be hasty about this. After all, if Cheney's not in the Executive Branch he can't claim executive privilege.

"If he believes his legal case," Mr. Emanuel wrote in an email, "his office has no business being funded as part of the executive branch." But imagine how much light we can shed into the dark corners of Mr. Cheney's office if his argument holds.

Surely you remember that infamous energy task force, the one where Mr. Cheney let his oil industry pals and their lobbyists come in and literally write their own rules? Cheney argued that the public had no right to information about the workings of that task force - because of executive privilege.

How about those executive branch visitor logs we've all been dying to see? I'd love to know how much time Jack Abramoff spent in Cheney's offices, and who he visited there. And, of course, there's the matter of Scooter Libby. With executive privilege out of the way, we can finally figure out whether there was an "underlying crime" or not. (Extra! Othello exonerated for strangling Desdemona - there was "no underlying crime" of adultery.)

Mr. Emanuel, I respect your smarts and your chutzpah for coming up with this strategy. If for any reason it doesn't work out, however, here's your silver lining: A Vice President who's not in the Executive Branch can't withhold information from legislators under the separation of powers doctrine.

In fact, here's an even better idea: Since he says he's fundamentally a member of the Senate, why not bring him up on Senatorial ethics charges? Let the investigations commence!

This may have seemed like a clever move at the time. Cheney et al. may think the band's playing "Catch Us If You Can," but the tune I hear sounds more like "Let The Sun Shine In."

 

[shereads]

Have Cheney and Ahmad Chalabi ever been seen in the same place, at the same time? is it possible they're the same person?

 

[shereads]

Take is as you wish, it's a Huffington post Op-ed after all. But the fact remains. if the VP office is not under executive obligations, it also can't claim executive privilige."

Can too.

 

[Guest]

Have Cheney and Ahmad Chalabi ever been seen in the same place, at the same time? is it possible they're the same person?

Not possible.

That is, if we can trust this pure, non-photoshopped image.

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/cheney_chalabi_hottub.jpg

 

[shereads]

Not possible.

That is, if we can trust this pure, non-photoshopped image.

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/cheney_chalabi_hottub.jpg

Jeeeeezus.

My eyes! Oh god, my eyes!

 

[Guest]

Jeeeeezus.

My eyes! Oh god, my eyes!

Yeah.

And I hear tell the bubbles were Cheney made.

 

[impressive]

Yeah.

And I hear tell the bubbles were Cheney made.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!