Dick moves per mile

Saint_Ann

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Joined
Dec 25, 2017
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Travelling long distance gives one lots of time to consider worthless crap. You can only count cows for so long. I came up with a criterion to help quantify the quality of the driving experience. I call it dick moves per mile, or dmpm.

Anyway, you know when you're trying not to die while driving just the right amount of mph above the speed limit to not get pulled over (seems to vary by state) and some asshole truck driver takes 5 miles to pass another truck, or some asshole cuts you off, or rides your ass for miles, you know the drill.

Anyway again, today's trip had a dmpm of 0.0086.

I'd say that's pretty fucking amazing. :)
 
That's when you have a road duel. Make sure to keep your vehicle's buzzsaw blades sharp and the machine guns fully loaded and belt-fed.
 
That's when you have a road duel. Make sure to keep your vehicle's buzzsaw blades sharp and the machine guns fully loaded and belt-fed.
I want a switch that shoots waste oil out the rear windshield squirter, like James Bond. :)
 
"The name is Bond. James Bond."

What good is a spy who's giving out his right name all the time?!

He might as well wear a jacket:

JAMES BOND
Agent 007
MI6
www.007.spy
Thwart supervillains -- ask me how!
 
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