Dialogue help

[Lailarenna]

I've been writing for a couple years now, and thankfully I'm not too bad, I've developed a decent narrative style, but I can't write decent dialogue to save my life. Most of the time it's dull, short, and usually unnatual sounding. Any tips for good dialogue?

 

[cantdog]

You have to hear it. It's role playing.

 

[Carl East]

You have to hear it. It's role playing.

Yeah, like Cantdog said, you really need to hear it. The way I do it is to speak out the words as if I'm having the conversation, that usually works.

Carl

 

[Guest]

Hi Lailarenna,

As Cantdog and Carl have already said, just write it as you would speak it or hear it spoken.

I actually prefer writing dialogue than narrative or the scene; once I get into it, it just flows as if I am part of that conversation. The key thing to avoid is stilted, well spoken English (unless the character would talk that way). Don't be afraid to use a bit of slang or colloquialism, but don't over do it. Above all, dialogue should read like natural speech, but without it being difficult for the reader to understand.

Lou

 

[princessjennie]

I've been writing for a couple years now, and thankfully I'm not too bad, I've developed a decent narrative style, but I can't write decent dialogue to save my life. Most of the time it's dull, short, and usually unnatual sounding. Any tips for good dialogue?

For the ring of authenticity, secretly tape your brother and sister while they are having sex together

 

[cloudy]

I'm basically just echoing Lou and the others here.

My dialogue is littered with southern slang, simply because its the way I talk.

It may sound silly, but actually speak the words out loud, have a conversation with yourself, and you'll know if it's right or not.

 

[Weird Harold]

I've been writing for a couple years now, and thankfully I'm not too bad, I've developed a decent narrative style, but I can't write decent dialogue to save my life. Most of the time it's dull, short, and usually unnatual sounding. Any tips for good dialogue?

WhisperSecret wrote a very good How To essay on dialogue that might help.

One thing that makes Dialogue "bad" is over-tagging it -- i.e. to much "he said/she said" or too many "tom swifties" ("Give me that knife," he said cuttingly.)

Another common problem with dialogue is under-use. If characters only speak when they absolutely have to, then they never develop a "speaking style" of their own -- i.e. everyone sounds like a constipated English professor. Let your characters talk about things unrelated to the plot -- let them joke and gossip about things other than the immediate plot elements and wander off topic occasionally.

For example, if two characters are walking from one place to another, you can skip over the walk completely, narrate that "they discussed the chances of their favorite sports teams as they walked to the parking lot," or you can report part of the actual conversation about the Ravens' chance of winning the Superbowl. (or whatever inconsequential conversation that two people might engage in while walking from one place to another.)

Dialogue is a good way to establish some characterization and bring up relevant details about the character without resorting to long narrative flashbacks, but it works best if you actually let he characters talk when they don't HAVE to talk to further the plot.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I think of my dialogue as a play format, if that helps, then I add in the descriptives around it, like they say above, hear your words, even act it out in your head or envision it like a movie.
~A~I've always wanted to direct.

 

[cloudy]

I think of my dialogue as a play format, if that helps, then I add in the descriptives around it, like they say above, hear your words, even act it out in your head or envision it like a movie.
~A~I've always wanted to direct.

You know what? I can see you as a director!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

You know what? I can see you as a director!

Aw.....thanks Slammer, that makes my tail wag!

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Golly! I’m going to try that. My dialogue is always the worst ! It sounds like it was written BY Bevis and Butthead.

I gotta try writing the way I speak, and then speak the words out loud.

I talk to myself anyway, but I usually have earphones on, so I don’t have to hear what I’m saying.

Thanks for the hints, guys.

 

[tiger_smurf]

As a screenwriting student, I may be able to offer something fresh to this topic.

Make sure that your dialogue consists of what are called "beats." This means that, through dialogue, the characters are acting and reacting with each other and altering the shape of the scene through their changing behavior. There should be positve and negative reactions. This helps to avoid bland dialogue.

Be wary of characters that echo each other's sentiments, as the dialogue will become tediously boring.

Each character should have a unique voice, so write their dialogue accordingly. A mistake too many authors make is writing every character's dialogue the way they, the author, would say it. Write as your character. Find out what, specifically, each character wants from the other in that particular scene. It doesn't have to be something profound. These rules apply to all types of dialogue,

 

[ClaireBlossom]

I might just be repeating someone here, but what I find makes the difference between good and bad dialog is placement and content. Try to draw a line between what you show and what you tell, don't avoid difficult passages by skipping ahead and having the characters revisit in dialog. In real life people never just say anything right out, most of the time they lead into their subject somewhat slowly or accidently. Dialog should be a part of the story, not just something that's inserted to fill an imaginary quota. And as a LitE thing, I've noticed that it's usually just kind of sad if people try to make all of their characters quippy and clever.

 

[Couture]

I usually imagine the characters talking to one another in my head. What they say, I write down. There's also things happening in the scene. You know, like he takes a drag on his cigarette, then mashes it out in the ashtray. For me, writing stuff like that interfers with listening to what they are saying. To keep this from happening, I get the dialog down as fast as I can and then go back and clean it up later.

 

[Lailarenna]

Re: Re: Dialogue help

Another common problem with dialogue is under-use. If characters only speak when they absolutely have to, then they never develop a "speaking style" of their own -- i.e. everyone sounds like a constipated English professor. Let your characters talk about things unrelated to the plot -- let them joke and gossip about things other than the immediate plot elements and wander off topic occasionally.

For example, if two characters are walking from one place to another, you can skip over the walk completely, narrate that "they discussed the chances of their favorite sports teams as they walked to the parking lot," or you can report part of the actual conversation about the Ravens' chance of winning the Superbowl. (or whatever inconsequential conversation that two people might engage in while walking from one place to another.)

Dialogue is a good way to establish some characterization and bring up relevant details about the character without resorting to long narrative flashbacks, but it works best if you actually let he characters talk when they don't HAVE to talk to further the plot.

You just nailed my exact problem, severe under-use. I seem to have difficulty figuring out how the characters would sound (possibly due to the fact these characters have gone through a LOT of tweaking and changes to personality and history since I first developed them), which has pretty much led to me not using dialogue except when it's absolutely necessary, and even then it seems forced.

Thanks so much for the tips, guys, I think this will definetely help get these people to open their mouths a little more.

*edited to correct grammatical gremlin*

 

[oggbashan]

Re: Re: Re: Dialogue help

You just nailed my exact problem, severe under-use. I seem to have difficulty figuring out how the characters would sound (possibly due to the fact these characters have gone through a LOT of tweaking and changes to personality and history since I first developed them), which has pretty much led to me not using dialogue except when it's absolutely necessary, and even then it seems forced.

Thanks so much for the tips, guys, I think this will definetely help get these people to open their mouths a little more.

*edited to correct grammatical gremlin*

Once you let your characters speak they should develop personality and individuality. When you start hearing them in your head they will make an impact.

When they start talking to you and arguing with you about how you are telling THEIR story you are in trouble - 'that way madness lies'. My characters do that.

One tip. We don't usually speak grammatically. We use incomplete sentences. We cut each other off. Turn Word's grammar checker off or it will make all your characters stilted.

Dialogue with more than two speakers is difficult as text because you have to identify each speaker. Try to avoid more than two speakers until you are happy with writing dialogue.

Og

 

[raphy]

Ogg makes good points about how we speak without correct grammar. Listen to people around you - Go to a mall, have a coffee, and listen to the people sitting in the tables around you. They're gonna be usually talking about small inconsequential everyday things, but they're talking. Listen to the ebb and flow of conversation, watch how the people interact with each other as they talk.

When people talk, one statement leads to another statement. A mistake I used to make (and I still do) when I was writing dialogue was that I had a certain amount of information that I, the author, wanted to impart during the dialogue and I forced my characters to say it, instead of letting it come out of the conversation naturally.

People respond to what has been said before.

If I say 'Hello', you don't say 'I'm doing fine, thanks." - You say that when I say 'How are you?"

That's a trivial example, and a very crude one, but it illustrates (With a sledgehammer) what I'm trying to say.

Like Harold (The fount of all wisdom) says, let your characters talk about inconsequential stuff. Write your first line of dialogue and then think 'How would *I* answer that?' And then you can tailor the information in YOUR answer to the specific speaking style of the character you're writing for.

Sound complicated? It isn't, not really. Let me give you an example (This will be long and drawn out) - My thoughts on the dialogue are in italicts, I'll give my thoughts on the stuff around the dialogue afterwards.

----

Bob looked up as Mark sat down at the cafe table. "Hey Mark, how are you?"

How do I answer that question? I say 'I'm doing pretty good' (assuming I *am* doing pretty good).. Now, we have to think about Mark. Is he going to sound like me? Is he more chatty, less chatty? Maybe he's a talktative kind of person, these two are good friends, etc etc. So this is what I write:

Mark shrugged and grinned. "Oh, I'm doing fine, thanks for asking. How have you been?"

Now, let's ask ourselves the same questions as before - How do I answer that? Now in this hypothetical situation, Bob has a problem with his girlfriend. He suspects she's been sleeping around on him. If I was him, how would I answer? This is where personalities come in. I might say 'Eh, I'm not so good, buddy. Michelle didn't come home until after midnight again last night." But Bob isn't as forthcoming as me - He's not happy, but he's not willing to open up just yet.

Bob's eyes became slightly hooded. "Oh, I'm okay, I guess."

Now this is conversational and social skills at work. Bob didn't ask a question, so therefore, Mark isn't required to say anything. But that would be a pretty short conversation, and Mark knows Bob pretty well, and he can read Bob's outwardly projecting emotions. He knows something's wrong. So first important thing - Because we're writing a conversation, we HAVE to make Mark the sort of person who is going to enquire further (otherwise it's a pretty short conversation).. And with that decided, obviously we have to figure out how he's going to do that. Mark could say any number of things here, and we have to pick one depending on his personality

Mark's eyebrow lifted. "Only okay? What's up, dude?"

or

Mark frowned a little. "Something wrong, man?"

etc etc

And so on and so forth, until we've gotten to the end of the conversation and the information that you, the author, needed to tell the reader has been told (i.e. in this case, that Bob suspects infidelity from Michelle) - I won't go on with the example, because this post is waaaay too long already. I'll just make a quick comment on the stuff around the dialogues.

.... That is, the 'Mark frowned a little' and 'Bob's eyes became slightly hooded' type stuff....

It's my personal preference as a writer (And so this shouldn't be taken as gospel - In fact, all of this is opinion and shouldn't be taken as gospel ) that "he said" and "she said" are far, far, overused in literature. I always prefer to describe what the characters are doing as they're speaking their lines. It's a primitive application of show-not-tell, I guess.

Anyway, I'll end this here, before I bore you.. But I hope it helped.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Dialogue help

Once you let your characters speak they should develop personality and individuality. When you start hearing them in your head they will make an impact.

One tip. We don't usually speak grammatically. We use incomplete sentences. We cut each other off. Turn Word's grammar checker off or it will make all your characters stilted.


Og

These are both great tips. I leave the grammar checker on, but my stories are usually littered with green underlines. But I leave it on because sometimes it catches stupid mistakes.

It helps me to go back and reread, then reread again. Picture yourself saying those lines, do they sound right? Or do they sound completly atrificial like the "whitty banter" at an awards show?

 

[Lailarenna]

Nah, you're not boring me. Besides, I've got Rush blasting in my ears, and it is physically impossible to be come bored while listening to them.

Anyway, here's a link to the first chapter of my story, fair warning, it's fantasy, non-erotic, and the first draft of a re-write. Yes, the first version was so weak I had to tear it down and try to start all over. Geocities is a twat, so it didn't carry over indents, so it maybe a little difficult to follow. I've yet to go back and try and edit it back to a presentable state.

Constructive criticism welcome - encouraged, even, as I've not gotten any suggestions on how to improve the story in the three years I've been writing it. Cheers.

http://www.geocities.com/medinamihalis/ds-chapter1.html

 

[raphy]

Nah, you're not boring me. Besides, I've got Rush blasting in my ears, and it is physically impossible to be come bored while listening to them.

Anyway, here's a link to the first chapter of my story, fair warning, it's fantasy, non-erotic, and the first draft of a re-write. Yes, the first version was so weak I had to tear it down and try to start all over. Geocities is a twat, so it didn't carry over indents, so it maybe a little difficult to follow. I've yet to go back and try and edit it back to a presentable state.

Constructive criticism welcome - encouraged, even, as I've not gotten any suggestions on how to improve the story in the three years I've been writing it. Cheers.

http://www.geocities.com/medinamihalis/ds-chapter1.html

If you're going to post on the web, best way is to put <pre> tags around it, post it in plain text, not HTML and force the linebreaks yourself

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I've been writing for a couple years now, and thankfully I'm not too bad, I've developed a decent narrative style, but I can't write decent dialogue to save my life. Most of the time it's dull, short, and usually unnatual sounding. Any tips for good dialogue?

My dialogue is weak. I am very shy, speak little and thus writing conversation is hard. I suggest making a point of listening to people around you. A bar or night club is a great place because people who have been drinking a lot talk louder for some reason.

if you listen to people talking to one another, concentrating more on how they are talking than what they are saying your dialogues will not be as stilted. Best advice I can give, as I siad, mine are awful.

Good luck!

-Colly

 

[gauchecritic]

All the tips so far are useful and effective and take practice. One of the things you should remember about speech however is something Raphy and a few others touched upon without actually naming it. It's to do with tagging.

People say things accompanied by raised eyebrows, hooded eyes or gesticulating arms, these accompaniments can be used (sparingly) in place of she/he said.

No tagging (once you identify who is saying what) is useful too, just what they say and nothing else. Sentence following sentence. Be careful with this.

But according to studies, approximately 90% of conversation is unspoken. Body language. One of the reasons women will take affront at simple statements is "not what you said but the way you said it". The way you say it includes body language.

Trying to include sense and communication in body language in the written medium is a very difficult task and can quickly become boring. < =back click >

Consider:

"I'm not sure what you mean." She said. She knew exactly what he meant and had decided to tease.

or

Dragging the pad of her middle finger upwards from her cleavage and over her breast bone, she tasted the tang of salt with a flickering tongue before husking; "I'm not sure what you mean."

But remember that first and foremost you have a story to tell.

Gauche

 

[raphy]

Consider:

"I'm not sure what you mean." She said. She knew exactly what he meant and had decided to tease.

or

Dragging the pad of her middle finger upwards from her cleavage and over her breast bone, she tasted the tang of salt with a flickering tongue before husking; "I'm not sure what you mean."

But remember that first and foremost you have a story to tell.

Gauche

That is a fine example of show-don't-tell, which after all, is supposed to be our mantra, no?


p.s. Husking, gauche? I like that. Did you just invent that verb?

 

[gauchecritic]

p.s. Husking, gauche? I like that. Did you just invent that verb?

Erm. I've just looked it up on dictionary.com and it only refers to outer shells.

Gruffly and throatily didn't fit the sound I could hear but husky did.

I think I must have conjugated an adjective by mistake.

Gauche

 

[Guest]

I think I must have conjugated an adjective by mistake.

Yeah, right. Gauche, the most compulsive conjugator on board.

fellow conjugation lover,

Perdita