Detect Mental Instability

[Caliber]

Heres some info about my girlfriend of 3 years.

Her mother is bi-polar. So if her half-sister (from her mother).

Nothing is known about her father, or if she has any other siblings from him (we're pretty sure she only has the one from her mom.)

Now the reason for this post ...

When I first started dating her (oh so long ago) she told me that sometimes she had "attacks" where she would simply lose control and begin crying and/or screaming uncontrollably. She said she had had these "attacks" maybe once or twice a year, but she had not had one in quite a time. And as far as I can tell, shes never had anything that bad while with me.

In fact, I do not recall her having any kind of "attack" at all for a pretty long time. Unfortunetly, I don't know the first time she had an incident while with me, likely because I didn't think anything of it at the time (likely attributing it to a bad day, or some such)

But recently I have noticed some things. Occasionaly, she will become very moody. She'll suffer from mood swings, and her moods will be magnified. She'll become extremely sad at the slightest provocation, switching rapidly to furious then back to sad.

She becomes self-destructive, not truly inflicting harm on herself (not yet ) but often hitting/slapping/clawing/biting herself. (She inflicts pain on herself, but does not do any actual harm ... yet ...)

I've gotten her to stop that (mostly) but when she is suffering from one of her "moods" I can often tell that the desire to hurt herself is there.

These "moods" often seem to occur late at night, shortly before she has to go home, although they can sometimes earlier. When she wakes in the morning, she is always better (that I know of)

When I first started noticing these "moods" they were pretty rare. A once in a blue moon kind of thing.

But recently I've noticed the frequency of the "moods" increasing. I can't exactly determine when they started to pick up (hingsight is perfect and all that ...) but she recently started taking Birth Control (4 months ago)

1 month ago she switched brands.

I've talked with her tonight about it (she had another "mood") and she recognizes that they've been coming more often. She isn't quite sure if she wants to seek help however.

Her family has long taught her to never, ever go and see the doctor for anything. Her adoptive parents (shes adopted, btw, which is why her actual medical history is so shakey) nearly died once from their refusal to go to the hospital. And my girlfriend has nearly died from their insistance that SHE did not go to the hospital.

That is one reason she is edgy about going to the doctor. The other is that I believe she worries about being labeled "crazy"

She is concerned that if she goes to a doctor and DOES have something that it will hurt her chances of A) getting into nursing school or B) being hired as a nurse.

I've tried to assure her these things aren't going to happen, but she remains doubtful.

Should I try to make her go? Should I just be supportive? Does it sound like she's really having a problem, or are we simply over reacting to something that could be harmless?

I really her and am worried about her.

 

[warrior queen]

go to www.depressionet.com.au and look up bipolar disorder.

even if she doesn't go to a doctor to find out, at least you will be able to find some information on what to expect, and on coping as her partner.

good luck.

 

[Zev Green]

I agree that doing some research into it is a good idea.

I myself suffer from severe depression and psychosis and was unwilling to see a doctor initially until a close friend of mine made me promise to go as he was worried about me. It didn't help me at first as the treatment they gave me led to a suicide attempt but once they changed me onto a more suitable drug I've been improving. I don't think she's as severe as I was, but still it's a very good idea to see a doctor before it gets any worse.

It wont necessarily affect her chances as a nurse. I'm training as a doctor myself and they all know about my psychological problems but so long as I keep taking my tablets and don't have a major relapse there's no problem.

Hope this helps, and feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to.

Zev

 

[James G 5]

She's got classic symptoms of not just bipolar disorder but also possibly of borderline personality disorder
I've been thru that
She MUST get help
if she won't, you need to get away from her as quickly as possibly
I know that sounds awful, but go to some of the BPS pages & read stories from spouses, relatives, and friends about how they had to get away, both to force the ill person to acknowledge the illness and to spare themselves the bad effects...if she won't get help you CAN'T help and things will only get worse

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[peachykeen]

I don't have any really fantastic advice to add to what's already been offered, but to you. You're a stand-up fella to stand by her through this.

Please do remind her that, although she has been discouraged from going to doctors in the past - and I can only imagine what kinds of mind-fucks her parents may have laid on her in that regard - the vast, vast majority of people who become doctors (and nurses) go into such a profession because they really want to help people. Ask her to look at her own reasons for wanting to be a nurse, and imagine herself as a person called upon to counsel someone suffering the same symptoms/anxieties.

 

[lbassassin]

Symptoms like these can be indicative of a broad range of psycological dissorders from depression through to some more nasty conditions (not that depressions a walk in the park).

She realy could do to talk to some one about it.

From my late teens through to the age of about 21 I suffered from fairly bad depression and used to cut my self as a result.

The best help was from friends who I could talk to, shout and scream at and ocassionaly cry on the shoulder of.

In my case the Pills fucked me up more than the condition (seoxat, I think its marketed as peroxil in the US).

 

[Jenny _S]

Unfortunately, many people see depression, personality disorders and other mental afflictions as "Insanity". I'm not really sure I even know what that word really means in a techno-psychiatric sense. But I do know those people are dead wrong.

Chemical imbalances, as in depression, are a disease just like chicken pox, the flu or anything else. Some of these neural disorders are fairly easy to treat with time, counseling and drug therapy. All can be improved.

Bi-Polar disorder and schizophrenia are serious, long term diseases and often mistaken for each other. They require long-term (maybe life-long) medication and monitoring. But should they carry a sigma of "Insanity"? No. Abraham Lincoln was a Bi-Polar. Was he "crazy"?

The possibility that birth control pills may instigate or deepen a depressive episode is a definite possibility. Bi-Polar disorder is a chemical disease. Throw more chemicals into the mix and she could well have a mess.

No one is really qualified to judge and/or diagnose your girlfriend's problem except a good physician with experience in dealing with these issues.

Be open about the problem. Don't hide it because it will just get worse. And most important, git her to an appropriate doctor so this can be dealt with in a timely manner.

Good Luck

 

[Eating_Scarlett]

Heres some info about my girlfriend of 3 years.

Her mother is bi-polar. So if her half-sister (from her mother).

Nothing is known about her father, or if she has any other siblings from him (we're pretty sure she only has the one from her mom.)

Now the reason for this post ...

When I first started dating her (oh so long ago) she told me that sometimes she had "attacks" where she would simply lose control and begin crying and/or screaming uncontrollably. She said she had had these "attacks" maybe once or twice a year, but she had not had one in quite a time. And as far as I can tell, shes never had anything that bad while with me.

In fact, I do not recall her having any kind of "attack" at all for a pretty long time. Unfortunetly, I don't know the first time she had an incident while with me, likely because I didn't think anything of it at the time (likely attributing it to a bad day, or some such)

But recently I have noticed some things. Occasionaly, she will become very moody. She'll suffer from mood swings, and her moods will be magnified. She'll become extremely sad at the slightest provocation, switching rapidly to furious then back to sad.

She becomes self-destructive, not truly inflicting harm on herself (not yet ) but often hitting/slapping/clawing/biting herself. (She inflicts pain on herself, but does not do any actual harm ... yet ...)

I've gotten her to stop that (mostly) but when she is suffering from one of her "moods" I can often tell that the desire to hurt herself is there.

These "moods" often seem to occur late at night, shortly before she has to go home, although they can sometimes earlier. When she wakes in the morning, she is always better (that I know of)

When I first started noticing these "moods" they were pretty rare. A once in a blue moon kind of thing.

But recently I've noticed the frequency of the "moods" increasing. I can't exactly determine when they started to pick up (hingsight is perfect and all that ...) but she recently started taking Birth Control (4 months ago)

1 month ago she switched brands.

I've talked with her tonight about it (she had another "mood") and she recognizes that they've been coming more often. She isn't quite sure if she wants to seek help however.

Her family has long taught her to never, ever go and see the doctor for anything. Her adoptive parents (shes adopted, btw, which is why her actual medical history is so shakey) nearly died once from their refusal to go to the hospital. And my girlfriend has nearly died from their insistance that SHE did not go to the hospital.

That is one reason she is edgy about going to the doctor. The other is that I believe she worries about being labeled "crazy"

She is concerned that if she goes to a doctor and DOES have something that it will hurt her chances of A) getting into nursing school or B) being hired as a nurse.

I've tried to assure her these things aren't going to happen, but she remains doubtful.

Should I try to make her go? Should I just be supportive? Does it sound like she's really having a problem, or are we simply over reacting to something that could be harmless?

I really her and am worried about her.

Your girlfriend is lucky to have someone care about her so much. You seem really sweet.

 

[FrustratedTeenF]

Unfortunately, many people see depression, personality disorders and other mental afflictions as "Insanity". I'm not really sure I even know what that word really means in a techno-psychiatric sense. But I do know those people are dead wrong.

Chemical imbalances, as in depression, are a disease just like chicken pox, the flu or anything else. Some of these neural disorders are fairly easy to treat with time, counseling and drug therapy. All can be improved.

This is so right. I suffer from depression and would not go to see anyone because I didn't want to feel or be told I was mad/crazy etc. It didn't help that when I had umm 'emotional episodes' my mother would shout at me and tell me I was ridiculous and say 'what the hell is wrong with you?' (like I am a freak.)

So please please be supportive. With her family history you should be able to reassure her this is not craziness, but a medical problem, inherited like many others.

Its hard to care for someone with problems like these. Make sure you have a support network too. Try not to get angry or visibly frustrated with her.. in my experince this just makes things worse.. you feel you are not only self-destructive but hurting those around you. Perhaps you could offer to visit the doctor together? Maybe she would feel better seeing a doctor who specialises in these things, or you could get referred to a doctor who is known to be sensitive and understanding.

The worst thing about seeing the doctor for me was that my problems were dismissed because I was having a hard time explaining the extent of the problem. But thats the British NHS for you..!

Hope things get better

A

 

[SexyChele]

It is so unfortunate that our society has yet to escape the thinking that mental illness = insanity. There is no disgrace in physical illness, yet mention something that has to do with the mind or emotions and people start to pass judgement!

I've never been diagnosed with any type of mental illness, but I've had friends and co-workers who suffered from various illnesses. All of them (besides a man I used to date, but we won't go there) were working with doctor(s) to help manage their illness and all were/are productive members of society.

It is unfortunate that your g/f was raised with the attitude towards the medical community, and interesting that she is looking to get into it. Don't really have much to add other than what has already been stated, but I wish both of you well.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

LOL

In this day and age, everyone qualifies for one mental illness or disorder or another.

 

[graveflower]

If it happened around the time she went on birth control or changed brands, it could simply be the pills. More than a few of us have experienced psuedo-psychosis from BCPs. I'd have her talk to her gyno first.

I totaly agree with the bith control pills being a major factor in this chain of events....I myself had the same problem
I also think that she may have some mental problems
either way she needs to see a doctor have her sit down and talk to her GYN. if she won't go alone make the appointment yourself and drag her with you

 

[dollface007]

With her aversion to doctors, you may want to take baby steps and maybe encourage her to go to a depression support group or talk to a social worker. Maybe if you de-medicalize the situation, it will be less scary for her. These people will be able to recognize the problem and help her to see that she may need medical help.
Also, how did she get birth control pills if she's so afraid of doctors? I'm assuming she at least has a gynecologist (even if she's afraid of him/her). Perhaps you should suggest that she see the doctor about possible negative side effects from the pill. Go to the appointment with her, be supportive, and make sure the doctor knows what's going on.
I'm not sure if these are the best approaches....just products of a brainstorm.
Best of luck to you.

 

[Caliber]

Hey everyone. Its Caliber again. Mucho thanks to everyone for the kind words and support. 's and 's for everyone.

I looked up some stuff about Borderline Personality Disorders, and it certainly seems like she matches more of the symptoms for that than she does for being Bi-Polar.

I talked to her the day after, and she was feeling much better. Shes normally somewhat reluctant to go to Doctors ... but I think she likes to go. Its just overcoming her ingrained teaching to get her there.

I honestly don't think it'll be a problem convincing her to see someone, especially if she has any more "moods" any time soon.

Another problem though, is that as poor starving college students who have no health insurance, a therapist is pretty hard to come by. Ah well.

I was pretty emotional during my first post, mostly because she had just had one of her "moods". Since then I've talked to her about it though, and until she CAN go to a doctor, we've discussed about what to do if she starts to feel bad again.

Thanks again for all your kind words.

 

[MDcouple11]

Originally posted by Caliber


Another problem though, is that as poor starving college students who have no health insurance, a therapist is pretty hard to come by. Ah well.

Well, when I was in college, I know that we had both the health center and the counseling center. I went to the health center when I had my eyebrow piercing get infected and I really don't remember paying anything. Maybe your school has something like this? Check it out.

 

[Caliber]

We do have a free clinic on campus that we've used before.

I don't think we have a therapist back there though ... but we're going to try and see. I am less than hopeful though (our university is great and I love it, but we're notoriously underfunded by the state)

Ah well.

 

[Stiffy Says...]

....wow (deep breath)

Somehow, I have twice managed to fall for and date bi-polar women, my last being most umm, out of control of herself.

As far as advice goes - patience, research and support, like everyone above advocates is VERY helpful. Love and compassion are key to make things work, but she has to try and meet you at least part way, which is hard for you and her.

Both of my ex's had issues with honesty and stopping their medication, which really are things you cannot control. This is something you will have to monitor, but also realize something - if her disorder gets too out of control, it can consume you just as it consumes her - you need to stay strong for yourself, take care of yourself and use the love and energy outside of the bare minimum yo uneed to help and love her. Not taking adequate care of myself in the process was my biggest mistake, followed by not realizing and acting on the fact that my ex was beyond my help, and beyond wanting it.

I wish yo uthe best, and hope your lover truly wants the help you offer, and takes yo uup on it. If she is sincere and not too afraid, in the long run, she can flourish with your love and support.

Keep the faith, and try not to be hard on yourself for anything she does - her illness is not something you can magically save her from ,she has to want to save herself.

 

[lovechild27]

prozac is one the most widely prescribed drugs on the market. NO ONE is going to discriminate against her for taking a pill to calm her down. And how will anyone know she is on a pill? I was on paxil for two years...my mom knew and that was it. I didnt have a sign on my forhead...i wasnt some drooling idiot. I was myself but better. And look at it this way...if she were to become a nurse...and she was still exhibiting this behavior...how would it affect her job? What would she do after a stressful day? How would she handle coworker relationships? She would probably be worse off not getting some help along the way. The fact that she has a family history is a big sign something could be very wrong and she does in fact need some sort of medication.

I looked up some stuff about Borderline Personality Disorders, and it certainly seems like she matches more of the symptoms for that than she does for being Bi-Polar.

Disorders like that are very touchy and can apply to a lot of people. You have to be careful when reading a laundry list of behaviors. Most people could find at least one or two they exhibit every day in some form...diagnosis for somethign like that can take a while to pinpoint.


If you are in college, get on your states medicade insurance. Its there for us poor kids who are trying to go to school and pay bills and dont have the full time jobs or cash to pay for health insurance. If it doesnt cover a shrink, find a family practice doc. In some cases they will prescribe meds.

I hope she does go get some help soon. It is a disease...and it may not kill you physically but it will tear and ruin your life til there is nothing left. Keep up the support and love....I hope she finds what she needs.
good luck to you both.

 

[dollface007]

Please check out all of the medical and counseling/therapy options at your university. I'd bet my right arm that they have free/cheap services or can tell you how to get them.