Desperately seeking Porn

[Flagg]

Ok here goes. I want a porn video. Porn isn't something that I want to watch that often. But it would be fun to watch it with my girlfriend and hey a guy gets lonely sometimes. I don't know why I feel I have to justify myself to you lot - crazy really!

Anyway here's the problem - in the UK you are not allowed to purchase (and presumably to own) pornographic films in which penetration or erection is shown. Now I don't know if any of you have seen a porno film without penetration or erection but beleive me it sort of defies the point.

Since the emergence of internet shopping it should be, in theory, possible for me to buy a real porno flick from an american/french/dutch internet company and have it dispatched to me.

Question is - would they ship it? And if so would I be in danger of having custums & excise knocking at my door? What are the legal issues surrounding this. I noticed on eroticshopping.com that in the terms and conditions it states that I have to confirm that the item I am purchasing is legal in my place of residence. How serious is that?

I have sort of decided not to risk trying to buy it and have it shipped straight from a company. Items coming from known sex sites are probably closely monitored.

Any ideas anybody? I don't think it should be discussed on this site but anybody care to email me, feel free.

Yours rather desperately,

Flagg

 

[Guest]

Huh?

 

[Cheri]

This is all my personal opinion since I have little expertise in all things legal. But at least here, I think it is illegal to buy/sell pornographic material but not illegal to own it. Cincinnati, which I live close to, is infamous for it's crack down on "indecent" material and while the authorities can control the sales of it they cannot control its ownership. One thought I had is that places like Adam and Eve will give you a free compliation porn tape with each purchase. Perhaps that would be a safer route to take, in that you did not purchase said could plead ignorance. Another possibility is that there are numerous porn videos/DVDs for sale on ebay. In that case the box would be shipped from a private individual instead of a company (harder to track, I'd think).
Yes I do think this is a question that should be discusses here. I get most angry when governments impose laws that restrict personal freedoms and for what purpose, the betterment of society? I doubt that.

 

[minx]

I have no idea about the laws or customs procedures in the U.K., but couldn't you get around it by having your 'sister' in the U.S. send you a video of your 'nephew's birthday party'? It wouldn't be hard to take the original stickers off the tape and replace them with 'Timmy's 5th birthday'. Put it in a blank tape box, maybe include a nice letter about 'family stuff', and ship it. I seriously doubt the customs officals would give it a second look. Just an idea.

 

[Gaucho]

The real question on my mind is, "What porn video would you order?" Something like "Deborah's Anal Parade"?

Oh, you've seen that one?

Seriously, though. Did you have a specific video in mind or just something pornographic in general?

Enquiring minds want to know.

 

[Weird Harold]

I have no idea about the laws or customs procedures in the U.K., but couldn't you get around it by having your 'sister' in the U.S. send you a video ...

A US video tape wouldn't do him any good in the UK. We use NTSC format VHS tapes, and the UK uses PAL format televisions.

A trip through the chunnel to France or Germany would be the best bet for smuggling Porn into the UK. I don't know what kind of customs inspection there is on the train through the chunnel, but a tape with the labels changed, or a copy of a tape should pass with no problems.

Mail from your "sister" hecate in Germany would probably be another option, or one of your Danish "brothers"

 

[scylis]

online porn stores offer "discrete shiping"...

 

[Laurel]

Hey Flagg,

If you're gonna smuggle something, you might as well smuggle something interesting.

Check out:
http://www.vsom.com/

They have movies in NTSC, SECAM, and PAL formats as well as the US standard VHS. And it's some freaky stuff!

 

[*Eve*]

what part of the UK do you live in? I use send my friend inon Scotland movies that were banned over there (not porn) but never got caught. So I don't think they check that closely.

 

[Lasher]

Anyway here's the problem - in the UK you are not allowed to purchase (and presumably to own) pornographic films in which penetration or erection is shown. Now I don't know if any of you have seen a porno film without penetration or erection but beleive me it sort of defies the point.

This explains so many things about the English to me.

 

[Flagg]

Glad to see all but one of you saw what I was getting at. I figure the best way is to buy on the net, have it shipped to a sympathetic friend in a country where it is legal and then have them remove the cover and sticker before posting it to me.

I haven't had any offers yet.

Laurel - I'm not really in to freaky shit. To be honest I don't know what film I'd want - I hardly know any. I have heard though that Dream Quest is good. Any opinions or suggested film titles?

 

[Mortto56]

"Here is an option!"

You could order a Lesbian movie.
Theres no erection or penetration in those movies.
Well unless their wearing strap-ons or something.(LOL!)

 

[Myrrdin]

Flagg.
Try looking in the advert section of the "top shelf" magazines.
If you are worried about Customs and Excise, pick a firm that offers "discreet UK despatch".
The only downside of mail order, is the ammount of follow up flyers you will get once you are on their mailing list.

 

[Guest]

What time does the Victorian Age finish?

Alternatively, Flagg, you could get some friends in France to make an arthouse fuck-film featuring subtitles. They should then submit it to the British Board of Film Classifications who may well pass it uncut - at least for arthouse cinema release - because they reckon that people who can be bothered reading subtitles are probably a bit posh and therefore unlikely to be corrupted by images of erect penises penetrating moist vaginas, mouths or whatever. The common-folk, however, would be so horrified by such scenes of unexpurgated SEX BETWEEN CONSENTING ADULTS that they'd immediately go loopy and start tearing down the fabric of decent British society.

The French film, 'Romance' - which features explicit penetrative and oral sex - was passed uncut for cinema release by the BBFC. I'm not sure why the censors don't apply the same logic to 'SCANDINAVIAN SLUT-FEST XII (The Cum Years)' which also has subtitles.

 

[Carl East]

[QUOTE
A US video tape wouldn't do him any good in the UK. We use NTSC format VHS tapes, and the UK uses PAL format televisions.

Although you are right about Pal being the standard for us Harold, we do have video recorders that take both Pal and NTSC.

Flagg: I ordered a porno from the net about six months ago, it came directly from the makers, and I didn't have any trouble. Incidently, you might want to check if your video is NTSC compatible.

Carl.

 

[Weird Harold]

[BAlthough you are right about Pal being the standard for us Harold, we do have video recorders that take both Pal and NTSC.[/B]

I knew multi system telvisions were available, but as of eleven years ago when I was last in Europe, there weren't any multi-system VCRs available that didn't require multi-system TVs as well. (i.e. a NTSC tape would send a NTSC signal to the TV and a PAL tape would send a PAL signal.)

I'm glad the manufacturers got smart and started building in the conversion to one type of output for any tape.

I mentioned the compatability problem mostly because without mutli-mode equipment of some kind, all you get is garbage with any other type of tapes.

 

[Flagg]

Thought I'd resurface this thread as I am sure that you are all gagging to know what came of my quest for porn.

Well, I have been sucessful in my mission and now have my very own porn dealer.

He types in block capitals and doesn't seem very bright but he does deliver the goods. He likes to be known as MR. X and I'm not allowed to know his real identity - kind of cool in a pseudo cold-war kind of way.

He can get almost any film as far as I know. The way it works is that a third contact who makes regular trips to the US purchases the films on DVD, brings them back and my dealer copies them on to VHS PAL and sells them for a very reasonable £10 each over the internet.

Perfect.

 

[Ally C]

I'm glad your quest had a favourable outcome Flagg. Mr. X? LOL I'm sure I've came across him [not a sexual reference!] at Lit sometime. He sounds like HARDKOREBJ ...

Cincinnati, which I live close to, is infamous for it's crack down on "indecent" material and while the authorities can control the sales of it they cannot control its ownership.

'Cincinnati' sounds like a 'groovy' porn movie, although I'm curious about what constitutes 'indecent material' ... and why anyone would like to put their crack down on it.

 

[MysteryJKR]

well if you know the name and all of that then download Imesh at http://www.imesh.com its a program like Napster but you can not only download music, but programs, videos, and pics. Its really handy to use.

 

[Gingersnap]

Okay little brother!!!!

God I am so glad you got that figured out now can I please have my back issues of Cosmo back.

 

[Thumper]

Rest assured..

I'm glad your quest had a favourable outcome Flagg. Mr. X? LOL I'm sure I've came across him [not a sexual reference!] at Lit sometime. He sounds like HARDKOREBJ ...

Cincinnati, which I live close to, is infamous for it's crack down on "indecent" material and while the authorities can control the sales of it they cannot control its ownership.

'Cincinnati' sounds like a 'groovy' porn movie, although I'm curious about what constitutes 'indecent material' ... and why anyone would like to put their crack down on it.

I'm working on it....need a co-star though

And Si Leis can bite my ass...(if he does it goes in the movie)