Desperately seeking a casus belli

[REDWAVE]

Not since the summer of 1939 has a mighty military power so arrogantly bullied and threatened a small, helpless nation. Inspections on the ground have failed to uncover the slightest trace of those mythical "weapons of mass destruction." Undeterred, the U.S. propaganda machine has gone into overdrive, furiously determined to prevent peace from breaking out. Even as I write, Karl Rove is working around the clock, frantically seeking the pretext for war which can best be sold to the American people. Now it is the 12,000+ page Iraqi declaration, required by the U.S.-- whoops, I mean U.N.-- resolution, which is being focused upon. The Bushies complain it is much longer than "War and Peace," yet not nearly as good, that its syntax is mushy, its grammar convoluted, its plot development uneven, and its characters thin, strained, and unbelievable. Speaking on conditions of anonymity, one high-ranking government official said, "Here, on page 5,831-- he uses a semicolon where a comma is clearly correct. The man is a menace who's got to go!"

But never let it be said the U.S. is not a giving and benevolent nation. In the spirit of the holidays, U.S. airmen are busily painting smiley faces and cheery phrases like "Have a nice day!" on the bombs they are distributing so generously over the Iraqi countryside.

Last, and surely least, is the bizarre plot to spirit Iraqi nuclear experts out of its territory. There they will be forced to betray their country and perform unspeakable acts. I realize Iraqi scientists are famed the whole world over for making hot monkey love, but really-- can't Dubya get his own dates? Does he have to abduct foreign nationals just to get laid?

 

[Lasher]

This doesn't have a thing to do with Mohammad Ali, does it?

 

[Guest]

This doesn't have a thing to do with Mohammad Ali, does it?

No, he's a Joe Frasier man. Or woman.

 

[Lasher]

Funny, I was watching When We Were Kings on the TV last night, and I think I see Redwave as more of a Larry Holmes kinda guy.

 

[Lasher]

And ya know, the thing I've got most from that movie, The Don King HBO movie, and the Ali flick with Will Smith is that it's awfully damn fun to chant Ali Bombaya over and over and over.

Just try it.

 

[Texan]

well, hell. I wasted another 1.5 minutes reading a REDWAVE post. My grandmother would have described RED's post with the word, "cairn." When I asked what it meant, I was asked if I knew what it smells like to drive past a partially decomposed animal on the side of the road, on a hot summer day. Yep, it all fits.

 

[Lasher]

I'm serious, try it...

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!

 

[Rodney King]

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!


Hey, your right! This is kind of fun!



But how many times do I have to repeat it to get the full effect

 

[Guest]

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!


Hey, your right! This is kind of fun!



But how many times do I have to repeat it to get the full effect

Well, if you were DON King, twice.

 

[Lasher]

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!

All-ee Boom-buy-ya!


Hey, your right! This is kind of fun!



But how many times do I have to repeat it to get the full effect

Dozens and hundreds...

If you watch the movies the people of Zaire followed Ali around for weeks doing nothing but chanting this over and over and over, except when they would stop long enough to put a curse on George Foreman.

Of course, that's probably because they had no food so they never had to stop to eat and if they had stopped Mobutu would've had them shot. But that's not important, it's still a lot of fun to say.

 

[Rodney King]

Does this mean my hair will end up doing the Don kIng thing?...

 

[QuickDuck]

Ok this is weird and has to be a first... but i actually kinda agree with REDWAVE.

how the heck has this happened?

The only difference is that i firmly believe they have chemical weapons, but after having 4 years to hide them, I doubt they will be found.

Anyway, everyone on the board already pretty much know my standing on this point. who is going to be the first to say "on your head"?

 

[p_p_man]

well, hell. I wasted another 1.5 minutes reading a REDWAVE post. My grandmother would have described RED's post with the word, "cairn." When I asked what it meant, I was asked if I knew what it smells like to drive past a partially decomposed animal on the side of the road, on a hot summer day. Yep, it all fits.

Come on! You love reading posts like this...

It enables you to make trite and inane comments...

ppman

 

[REDWAVE]

Up late?

You're up late, p p man. Been hitting the Bacardi & coke, have we?


Holiday cheer!

 

[Guest]

Come on! You love reading posts like this...

It enables you to make trite and inane comments...

ppman

______

Yes, p_p_boy, just like yours.

 

[teddybear4play]

Not since the summer of 1939 has a mighty military power so arrogantly bullied and threatened a small, helpless nation. Inspections on the ground have failed to uncover the slightest trace of those mythical "weapons of mass destruction." Undeterred, the U.S. propaganda machine has gone into overdrive, furiously determined to prevent peace from breaking out. Even as I write, Karl Rove is working around the clock, frantically seeking the pretext for war which can best be sold to the American people. Now it is the 12,000+ page Iraqi declaration, required by the U.S.-- whoops, I mean U.N.-- resolution, which is being focused upon. The Bushies complain it is much longer than "War and Peace," yet not nearly as good, that its syntax is mushy, its grammar convoluted, its plot development uneven, and its characters thin, strained, and unbelievable. Speaking on conditions of anonymity, one high-ranking government official said, "Here, on page 5,831-- he uses a semicolon where a comma is clearly correct. The man is a menace who's got to go!"

But never let it be said the U.S. is not a giving and benevolent nation. In the spirit of the holidays, U.S. airmen are busily painting smiley faces and cheery phrases like "Have a nice day!" on the bombs they are distributing so generously over the Iraqi countryside.

Last, and surely least, is the bizarre plot to spirit Iraqi nuclear experts out of its territory. There they will be forced to betray their country and perform unspeakable acts. I realize Iraqi scientists are famed the whole world over for making hot monkey love, but really-- can't Dubya get his own dates? Does he have to abduct foreign nationals just to get laid?

Paragraph one wasn't funny.

The actions described in paragraph two are deliberately sarcastic.

As for paragraph three, I guess patriotism is only a problem if the U.S. practices it, eh?

TB4p

 

[REDWAVE]

You're no John Lennon

What an irony for you to have a quote from John Lennon in your sigline, teddy. What do you think he would say about this current war, eh? Yeah, I know Paul supported the bombing of Afghanistan, but that's Paul. John would never have sold out like that . . .

 

[427cobra]

Re: You're no John Lennon

What an irony for you to have a quote from John Lennon in your sigline, teddy. What do you think he would say about this current war, eh? Yeah, I know Paul supported the bombing of Afghanistan, but that's Paul. John would never have sold out like that . . .

Be that as it may, but Lennon was a niave at best, at worst a self serving egomaniac. But then I'd rather an honest a sell out like Paul then a bullshit artist in white like John.

 

[REDWAVE]

Au contraire

Lennon was a fucking genius, a great man, a great human being.

 

[teddybear4play]

Re: You're no John Lennon

What an irony for you to have a quote from John Lennon in your sigline, teddy. What do you think he would say about this current war, eh? Yeah, I know Paul supported the bombing of Afghanistan, but that's Paul. John would never have sold out like that . . .

I don't admire all of Lennon's political beliefs, but he was a brilliant musician. I also happen to adore that song.

You admire Abraham Lincoln. I think he would have smacked your ass around.

TB4p

 

[REDWAVE]

Smacked my ass around?

Well, he's not exactly the type I like for that sort of action. I prefer the big, burly, beefy, chunky, hardcore biker type for that. Lincoln was tall, but skinny, by all accounts.

Actually, I never said I admired Lincoln. I find him a very interesting political figure, who played a pivotal role in U.S. history. I admire him in some ways, criticize him in others.

Now John Brown-- there's a man I really admire!

 

[teddybear4play]

Re: Smacked my ass around?

Well, he's not exactly the type I like for that sort of action. I prefer the big, burly, beefy, chunky, hardcore biker type for that. Lincoln was tall, but skinny, by all accounts.

Actually, I never said I admired Lincoln. I find him a very interesting political figure, who played a pivotal role in U.S. history. I admire him in some ways, criticize him in others.

Which is how I feel about Lennon and many other songsmiths. "War" by Edwin Starr is simply a much cooler song than "Ballad Of The Green Berets" by SSgt. Barry Sadler.

And Lincoln chopped wood. He may not have been bulky, but I wouldn't want to get on his bad side.

TB4p