Describing Lesbian Sex in 3rd person

[RalphKing]

I'm wondering if anyone knows of a story here that describes a lesbian sex scene in the 3rd person. All of those I've read involve the narrator describing the scene as one the lovers, so it's obvious who is doing what to whom.

I'm thinking about a scene where the narrator is a voyeur who catches a lesbian couple (x & y) making love. The 'mechanics' are fine but I'm worried that I'm going to have to restrict the use of 'she' and 'her' because they're both girls, obviously.

But using 'x' & 'y' all the time it seems to ruin the flow --so to speak.

The voyeur does know there names.

anyone have any suggestions?

 

[CandK_inSE]

I'm wondering if anyone knows of a story here that describes a lesbian sex scene in the 3rd person. All of those I've read involve the narrator describing the scene as one the lovers, so it's obvious who is doing what to whom.

I'm thinking about a scene where the narrator is a voyeur who catches a lesbian couple (x & y) making love. The 'mechanics' are fine but I'm worried that I'm going to have to restrict the use of 'she' and 'her' because they're both girls, obviously.

But using 'x' & 'y' all the time it seems to ruin the flow --so to speak.

The voyeur does know there names.

anyone have any suggestions?

Use names, physical attributes (blonde/brunette), the one with a slightly larger build, waxed vs trimmed pussy hair, lingerie vs naked vs semi clothed?

Just some ideas.

 

[RalphKing]

Thanks CandK, but just to complicate it further, the two lesbians are almost like twins.

I have written a short lesbian scene in a recent story but in that I, as the narrator, was involved in the action so it was a little easier to distinguish. This scene is intended to to be quite long and I didn't want to keep repeating myself.


I mean the scene was short, not the lesbians btw

 

[LWulf]

Thanks CandK, but just to complicate it further, the two lesbians are almost like twins.

I have written a short lesbian scene in a recent story but in that I, as the narrator, was involved in the action so it was a little easier to distinguish. This scene is intended to to be quite long and I didn't want to keep repeating myself.


I mean the scene was short, not the lesbians btw

"Almost" being the defining term.

Pick out one defining quality(-ies) that marks the "twins" differently, although repeated use a sole term will get stale quickly. Maybe one is slightly taller, the other is slightly more blonde. If that fails to impress, then fall back on names as CandK said.

 

[RalphKing]

Actually, that's a great idea LWulf, seems obvious now you've said it.

Thanks

 

[CandK_inSE]

Yeah, that becomes difficult.

I don’t know how I’d approach that as a writer, other than be very descriptive using the girls’ names.

 

[RalphKing]

I suppose positioning could help as well, if one of them has their back to the other then it should be obvious who is kissing their back, for instance.

I also didn't want to 'interrupt' the action and describe what I was doing or how I felt

I'm glad I decided to ask for help, as this giving me some inspiration.

 

[GuessImJamie]

"Being the third person in a lesbian sex scene is terrific, and so is being the fourth or the fifth," said Lisa.

"That isn't what he meant," said Jamie, lifting her mouth up from Eva's pubes.

"Who?" said Lillian.

"That guy," said Eva.

The girls, Eva, Lisa, Kristin, Jamie and Lillian had some time to kill while Paul and George were away. It started out as a game of "naked twister" but was even more fun now that the spinner was being ignored.

"What guy?" Said Kristin, "the boys went to get that overhauled engine and won't be back till six."

"But when they do get back, I get spit-roasted first," said Lisa.

"That's not fair! You got D-P'd first last time," said Jamie.

 

[RalphKing]

He went over to her, and came in the third person.

I went over to her and came in the first person.

You went over to her and came in the second person

I guess I really didn't mean 3rd person,I really meant describing the actions of two others in the same scene as myself.

 

[GuessImJamie]

He went over to her, and came in the third person.

I went over to her and came in the first person.

You went over to her and came in the second person

I guess I really didn't mean 3rd person,I really meant describing the actions of two others in the same scene as myself.

We'd say you were doing pretty well ejaculating three times in quick succession like that. Or, were there three different guys?

 

[RalphKing]

I think you may have misunderstood what I meant, but I can't be sure.

One man, doing the same thing, from three different points of view.

 

[GuessImJamie]

Lisa wrote a story with a scene where she was watching a live sex show. She used a paragraph to describe the location and then said she didn't know the performers names but one wore this color pumps (FSA-red) and that one wore that color (FSA-blue) for the remainer of thier involvement in the story they were "Red" and "Blue." As in "Red reached over an spanked Blue lightly on the ass."

It was short and we didn't think it detracted from the action. We imagine one could wear a ring and one a bracelet or... just keep it short...

The "friendly young Russian emigre with a Doctorate in Nuclear Physics" might get tedious to type let alone read.

 

[GuessImJamie]

I think you may have misunderstood what I meant, but I can't be Cher.

No, you can't be Cher. Be happy being Ralph.

One man, doing the same thing, from three different points of view.

Somewhere in here is a cute Roshomon type story, we cannot recall the name of. It was a couples first time having sex as told by him (Mr. Studley) her (clumsy but pleasurable in the end) the dog (what the heck are they doing) and the cat (this is a nice sunny spot, I'll take a nap), but we dont think that is what you were looking for either.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I'm wondering if anyone knows of a story here that describes a lesbian sex scene in the 3rd person. All of those I've read involve the narrator describing the scene as one the lovers, so it's obvious who is doing what to whom.

I'm thinking about a scene where the narrator is a voyeur who catches a lesbian couple (x & y) making love. The 'mechanics' are fine but I'm worried that I'm going to have to restrict the use of 'she' and 'her' because they're both girls, obviously.

My story The Floggings Will Continue... involves a MFF threesome, from the M perspective, so there's some third-person description of F-F.

Names are helpful, obviously. Physical references can work but they're probably better suited to stroke than to character pieces - if Our Heroine is making love to her best friend after years of unspoken longing blah blah blah, she's probably not going to think of her as "the taller woman" and she shouldn't be written that way.

Another thing that goes a long way is to let context make it clear - often positions or personalities will help understand who's who.

 

[RalphKing]

Thanks, Bramblethorn, that's helpful and I'll give that story a read.

Update:

That is a great story, and I'd recommend it to anyone.

It's given me a great angle for me to describe my scene.

I've made things difficult for myself. Narrator watching two others. Narrator not involved and not saying anything, and not revealing his thoughts just what he sees. We're in stroke territory really, but I don't want to write it like that.

After reading Bramblethorn's story, I've learnt that context is the key, so I'm thinking that I can have one of the lesbians more dominant. It's easier then to get across who is being pleasured and who is doing the pleasuring -- so to speak.


Also dialogue. Although the narrator's not speaking, there's nothing to stop the two lesbians saying things to each other.

Now, all I have to do is write it.

Thanks again