Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. etc

[Quoll]

There are some very personal and touching stories here and lots of pain. A sense of community and acceptance is essential for maintaining mental health, so I'm glad to see people able to share so openly here.

If only it were more so in the offline world. Many of my patients carry the additional burden of carrying a deep dark secret along with symptoms that are already very difficult.

My best to all of you, and for those reading who believe you may be suffering from a psychiatric disorder, I'd encourage you in the strongest terms to seek help. There are some good treatments available. You don't have to suffer.

Thanks Doc

Pretty sure there was nothing Freudian in that.

I've been battling depression since i was 16, and generally get by each day without meds but i find that i'm having more anxiety attacks these days

Hope you are coping ok.

Ok, countdown is still running. Four more days before I run out of medication. I'm very anxious I won't be able tocope with the situation of no pills anymore. Plus, I'm feeling a down-period coming again anyways, so it might hit me just in time for my meds to stop. Already having difficult mornings and nights, you know, when you're alone in bed, doing nothing but thinking and worrying. I just hope it will work out. Snoopy, nervous puppy

Give it everything ya got Snoop, we are all behind you.

Thank you, quoll. I've experienced a lot of anxiety due to my SO's depression and consequent behavior so I can empathize with this list of symptoms, even though what I've gone through is relatively mild. Thank goodness for yoga!

Mia ,severe, mild, it all sucks big time. Hmm yoga, I hope you mean the meditation aspect, not the physical.(Oooh my poor old bones )

I am having a current panic attack and there is only one thing that is going to help. Talking about it finally instead of being ashamed and hinding it. I am only making myself emotionally sick. Right now I fell like I could puke, my chest is tightened, breathing is faster than usaul, and my head is swimming. I fucking hate these things. Went to sleep with it and Woke up with it. Have not had one this bad in a long time........

So glad you could let it out here, had one myself yesterday, it stopped me getting something I have been waiting months for, really full of self loathing right now.

 

[MercyMia]

quoll,

How the heck do you do that--multiple quotes in one post? Your Literotica abilities astound me!

Is it typical for a depressed person to have sudden mood swings without much external trigger? I wonder if whatever is going on inside him causes him to lash out (verbally) so unpredictably. I need to pay closer attention, too. Perhaps there is stuff going on that I'm not noticing. I'm learning how to talk to him, to let him know how I feel about his behavior, without sounding accusatory. This might seem a small thing but I think it makes a big difference in his receptivity of what I say.

Holding on tight,
Mia

 

[Quoll]

quoll,

How the heck do you do that--multiple quotes in one post? Your Literotica abilities astound me!

Is it typical for a depressed person to have sudden mood swings without much external trigger? I wonder if whatever is going on inside him causes him to lash out (verbally) so unpredictably. I need to pay closer attention, too. Perhaps there is stuff going on that I'm not noticing. I'm learning how to talk to him, to let him know how I feel about his behavior, without sounding accusatory. This might seem a small thing but I think it makes a big difference in his receptivity of what I say.

Holding on tight,
Mia

Mia, I`m sorry to say mood swings seem to be a huge part of depression (it was/is for me anyway). I `m not sure if you can always pick up on what is going to trigger the mood swings, the mind is often running at a million miles an hour. Even though we may lash out at something said to us, it is not necessarily the cause of the anger.

What you are doing is indeed a huge thing, to be able to talk to him in a non accusatory way, this could make a big difference in getting him to accept his condition.

I was thinking about you and the other partners, you said you found this thread helpful in understanding what your SO is going through.
It dawned on me, WE need to know what our partners are going through, to try and understand how our condition affects them. Hopefully, in times of clarity, understanding how difficult, how terrifying it can be for them might just be the one thing that pushes us in the right direction.
I know for me, in amongst all the hatred and anger the love was still there, of course that also brought about guilt, hatred, and anger again.



Multple quotes, start your reply then page back, highlight and copy text, page forward, click on quote box (last icon at the top of reply page) paste and repeat endlessly. Now if some one knows a less tedious way please let me know.


Mia thank you for your post, I was feeling very down today but you have lifted my mood considerably, thank you.

 

[Quoll]

For three special people who steered me away from the edge.

 

[nycphoto]

Reading all those posts on and off. From an academic standpoint does depression affect you guys mostly because environment? I don't believe I suffer from depression at the level you guys do. I might have a bad day in a month. I also am not in the best city to not have stress related factors. I think that this city is one of the fastest in the world and just by being in it give yous stress. Now for me my utopia would be a cabin in the woods or a surf shop in the Caribbean. If you guys were to find your perfect place and an agreeable source of employment would you suffer from the same depression?

 

[sxylegs]

Reading all those posts on and off. From an academic standpoint does depression affect you guys mostly because environment? I don't believe I suffer from depression at the level you guys do. I might have a bad day in a month. I also am not in the best city to not have stress related factors. I think that this city is one of the fastest in the world and just by being in it give yous stress. Now for me my utopia would be a cabin in the woods or a surf shop in the Caribbean. If you guys were to find your perfect place and an agreeable source of employment would you suffer from the same depression?

You make a good case.....a councelor friend of mine says that I dont get depressed because i dont allow it......also my boyfriend gets depressed when he isnt working......he has nothing else to think about....Not to be hateful....a lot of self absorbed people get depressed because they cant get their mind off themselves.......and that is depressing for anybody to not think of anything else....that is why medication is so helpful....gets people moving and doing other things....

 

[Quoll]

Reading all those posts on and off. From an academic standpoint does depression affect you guys mostly because environment? I don't believe I suffer from depression at the level you guys do. I might have a bad day in a month. I also am not in the best city to not have stress related factors. I think that this city is one of the fastest in the world and just by being in it give yous stress. Now for me my utopia would be a cabin in the woods or a surf shop in the Caribbean. If you guys were to find your perfect place and an agreeable source of employment would you suffer from the same depression?

short answer. Yes.
From my experience.
Depression is not dependent on location or environment, although these may trigger a depressive episode, whether that be depression, anxiety, panic attack or some other form.

If you read back over some of the posts you will find that depression is actually a physical condition affecting chemical balance in the brain.
Depression is not stress. I live, well, not quite the cabin in the woods but pretty damned close, love it and do not want to live anywhere else and yet this is where my depression first really took hold.
Hope this goes some way to explaining what you asked.

 

[Quoll]

You make a good case.....a councelor friend of mine says that I dont get depressed because i dont allow it......also my boyfriend gets depressed when he isnt working......he has nothing else to think about....Not to be hateful....a lot of self absorbed people get depressed because they cant get their mind off themselves.......and that is depressing for anybody to not think of anything else....that is why medication is so helpful....gets people moving and doing other things....

I have to both agree and disagree, if you keep busy then certainly milder forms of depression can be kept at bay, but there does seem to be a point when no matter what you do you just can`t keep it out of your head even if you have a good job.
Agree on the meds side, they break that cycle and give you a chance to think and do things again.

 

[nycphoto]

Alright so from the information in the above passage depression is a chemical imbalance. The imbalance acts as a catalist and then the dreppression is triggered. For some daily stress; stress can be good as well. For some the daily stress keeps them healty for others it just does not matter.
What about sunlight? Have you guys ever tried sunlight thearapy?

 

[Quoll]

Alright so from the information in the above passage depression is a chemical imbalance. The imbalance acts as a catalist and then the dreppression is triggered. For some daily stress; stress can be good as well. For some the daily stress keeps them healty for others it just does not matter.
What about sunlight? Have you guys ever tried sunlight thearapy?

Yeah a little bit of stress can keep you on your toes.
I worked outdoors for eight years and it still got me.




Gonna turn in early am for me, see ya.

 

[nycphoto]

Sorry to hear that. I hope the drugs allow you to live as best you can.

 

[Quoll]

Sorry to hear that. I hope the drugs allow you to live as best you can.

For the most part they do and a lot of the things you mentioned do work for others, did work for me for a time. For now the drugs do a pretty good job but it can change very quickly as I have recently discovered. A whole new lot of tricks to learn and if no success more drugs.
I don`t really get hung up on the drug thing because I have some pretty good memories of what I was like before them. Then it becomes a fairly simple equation. I chose life.
Thanks for your questions and input, feel free to drop in again.
We might be mad but we don`t bite mostly.

 

[MercyMia]

Reading all those posts on and off. From an academic standpoint does depression affect you guys mostly because environment? I don't believe I suffer from depression at the level you guys do. I might have a bad day in a month. I also am not in the best city to not have stress related factors. I think that this city is one of the fastest in the world and just by being in it give yous stress. Now for me my utopia would be a cabin in the woods or a surf shop in the Caribbean. If you guys were to find your perfect place and an agreeable source of employment would you suffer from the same depression?

From what little I've read, it seems that some people are more predisposed to depression than others. Depression can be triggered by a number of things--stress, loss, personal trauma, disease. One definition of depression requires that you feel at least one of these 2 things for 2 weeks straight:

1. an empty, sad, or anxious mood
2. loss of interest or pleasure in ordinary activities, including sex

(Depression Fallout, Anne Sheffield)

I think even with an agreeable source of employment and perfect living place, people *can* get depressed. For instance, some men will tend to get depression anywhere in their late 30s to late 40s--the male menopause/andropause syndrome. I'm sure we've all seen cases of seemingly perfectly happy marriages fall apart when a man decides he needs a toupee/hair transplant, a sporty red fast car and a hot babe to ride with him. (Sorry if I sound bitter!)

 

[MercyMia]

For the most part they do and a lot of the things you mentioned do work for others, did work for me for a time. For now the drugs do a pretty good job but it can change very quickly as I have recently discovered. A whole new lot of tricks to learn and if no success more drugs.
I don`t really get hung up on the drug thing because I have some pretty good memories of what I was like before them. Then it becomes a fairly simple equation. I chose life.
Thanks for your questions and input, feel free to drop in again.
We might be mad but we don`t bite mostly.

quoll,

It's so good to hear a depressed person say he chooses life despite the suffering with the disease. My SO tells me daily that he just wants to die soon to get the pain over with. I try to immune myself to it but on a very gut-feel level, it still gets to me.

So yay for you, for saying yes to life even though it's not perfect.

 

[MercyMia]

I got these from the website : http://www.depression.8m.com/depfriendinfo.html

These are supposed to be things that a friend/lover can say to help a depressed person (must be said only if sincere)

(And sorry for whatever typos are in the list, I just copied it directly)


1. "I love you!"
2. "I Care."
3. "You're not alone in this."
4. "I'm not going to leave/abandon you."
5. "Do you want a hug?"
6. "I love you (if you mean it)."
7. "It will pass, we can ride it out together."
8. "When all this is over, I'll still be here (if you mean it) and so will you."
9. "Don't say anything, just hold my hand and listen while I cry."
10. "All I want to do know is give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on.."
11. "Hey, you're not crazy!"
12. "May the strength of the past reflect in your future."
13. "God does not play dice with the universe." - A. Einstein
14. "A miracle is simply a do-it-yourself project." - S. Leek
15. "We are not primarily on earth to see through one another, but to see one another through." - (from someone's sig)
16. "If the human brain were simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it." - a codeveloper of Prozac, quoted from "Listening to Prozac"
17. "You have so many extraordinary gifts--how can you expect to live an ordinary life?" - from the movie "Little Women" (Marmee to Jo)
18. "I understand your pain and I empathize."
19. "I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself so you don't need to worry that your pain might hurt me."
20. "I listen to you talk about it, and I can't imagine what it's like for you. I just can't imagine how hard it must be."
21. "I can't really fully understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion."
22. "You are important to me."
23. "If you need a friend..... (and mean it)"


Do you agree with the list? Is there anything objectionable on it?

 

[SnoopDog]

I got these from the website :
.......... 11. "Hey, you're not crazy!" .........
.......... 23. "If you need a friend..... (and mean it)"...........

These two are the only thing someone has said to me in all the time.

But when he said it (my best buddy) it really helped. Just wushed some other people would say things like that. And more often than just once.

Snoopy

 

[Quoll]

What`s it all about?

WHAT IS A DEPRESSIVE DISORDER?

A depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.
TYPES OF DEPRESSION

Depressive disorders come in different forms, just as is the case with other illnesses such as heart disease. This pamphlet briefly describes three of the most common types of depressive disorders. However, within these types there are variations in the number of symptoms, their severity, and persistence.

Major depression is manifested by a combination of symptoms (see symptom list) that interfere with the ability to work, study, sleep, eat, and enjoy once pleasurable activities. Such a disabling episode of depression may occur only once but more commonly occurs several times in a lifetime.

A less severe type of depression, dysthymia, involves long-term, chronic symptoms that do not disable, but keep one from functioning well or from feeling good. Many people with dysthymia also experience major depressive episodes at some time in their lives.

Another type of depression is bipolar disorder, also called manic-depressive illness. Not nearly as prevalent as other forms of depressive disorders, bipolar disorder is characterized by cycling mood changes: severe highs (mania) and lows (depression). Sometimes the mood switches are dramatic and rapid, but most often they are gradual. When in the depressed cycle, an individual can have any or all of the symptoms of a depressive disorder. When in the manic cycle, the individual may be overactive, overtalkative, and have a great deal of energy. Mania often affects thinking, judgment, and social behavior in ways that cause serious problems and embarrassment. For example, the individual in a manic phase may feel elated, full of grand schemes that might range from unwise business decisions to romantic sprees. Mania, left untreated, may worsen to a psychotic state.
SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION AND MANIA

Not everyone who is depressed or manic experiences every symptom. Some people experience a few symptoms, some many. Severity of symptoms varies with individuals and also varies over time.
Depression
Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

 

[Quoll]

National Institiute of Mental Health

How Family and Friends Can Help the Depressed Person

The most important thing anyone can do for the depressed person is to help him or her get an appropriate diagnosis and treatment. This may involve encouraging the individual to stay with treatment until symptoms begin to abate (several weeks), or to seek different treatment if no improvement occurs. On occasion, it may require making an appointment and accompanying the depressed person to the doctor. It may also mean monitoring whether the depressed person is taking medication. The depressed person should be encouraged to obey the doctor's orders about the use of alcoholic products while on medication. The second most important thing is to offer emotional support. This involves understanding, patience, affection, and encouragement. Engage the depressed person in conversation and listen carefully. Do not disparage feelings expressed, but point out realities and offer hope. Do not ignore remarks about suicide. Report them to the depressed person's therapist. Invite the depressed person for walks, outings, to the movies, and other activities. Be gently insistent if your invitation is refused. Encourage participation in some activities that once gave pleasure, such as hobbies, sports, religious or cultural activities, but do not push the depressed person to undertake too much too soon. The depressed person needs diversion and company, but too many demands can increase feelings of failure.

Do not accuse the depressed person of faking illness or of laziness, or expect him or her "to snap out of it." Eventually, with treatment, most people do get better. Keep that in mind, and keep reassuring the depressed person that, with time and help, he or she will feel better.

I have posted these pages rather than the rant that I feel building inside.


Hey Snoop hows it going.

 

[Lynxie]

I really hate that I'm starting to view these lists of symptoms as checklists, and that I get to check off most of them.

My shoulder pain that was supposedly corrected with surgery in November is back in full force. I'm starting physical therapy tomorrow, and I'm praying that it helps...but at this point I just don't know. I may be back to square one with this chronic pain thing...and I thought for sure I'd beaten it with the surgery. I don't mean to rant, but writing about it seems to suppress the panic attacks I've been having since the pain returned.

Lynxie is not a happy camper today.

 

[Quoll]

I really hate that I'm starting to view these lists of symptoms as checklists, and that I get to check off most of them.

My shoulder pain that was supposedly corrected with surgery in November is back in full force. I'm starting physical therapy tomorrow, and I'm praying that it helps...but at this point I just don't know. I may be back to square one with this chronic pain thing...and I thought for sure I'd beaten it with the surgery. I don't mean to rant, but writing about it seems to suppress the panic attacks I've been having since the pain returned.

Lynxie is not a happy camper today.

{{{{{{Lynxie}}}}}}

Sorry about the lists sweet Lynxie, I understand and do the same thing as I read them, just have to stop myself from yelling "woo hoo" if I get most of them.
I posted some of the symptoms because lately I keep coming across people from the "just get over it brigade" and I really want to tell them where to go. I guess posting here is the soft option, but it is better than uncontrolled rage.

Hey you didn`t muck around getting into physical therapy, great job.
I really hope the physical therapy works for you, please keep posting.


[New Post]
Imagine a loved one has been killed. A dear friend murdered. A sister raped. A baby stolen.










Now get over it.







"Oooh but that`s different that`s emotional, how can you just turn off your feelings "





I am, what I am, if YOU don`t like it, YOU get over it.

[/New Post]

 

[Lynxie]

Hey you didn`t muck around getting into physical therapy, great job. I really hope the physical therapy works for you, please keep posting.

Yeah, it only took me a week to book myself an appointment after I got the go-ahead from my orthopedic. That's like record time for me when it comes to doing anything that involves going out of my apartment and joining the rest of the world. But the fear of living a life hooked on painkillers and not having a job - that scares me more than a few months of hardcore PT.

As for the rest of your post... chronic pain is just as bad as depression and anxiety when it comes to getting others to understand it. It's just one of those things that you can't fathom unless you're living with it. Most people don't understand how a pain in my shoulder could affect literally every aspect of my life - but five years of constant pain wears on you hard, emotionally and physically. I just wish the general public were more educated about these things...it'd certainly make our lives a little easier.

 

[Quoll]

Yeah, it only took me a week to book myself an appointment after I got the go-ahead from my orthopedic. That's like record time for me when it comes to doing anything that involves going out of my apartment and joining the rest of the world. But the fear of living a life hooked on painkillers and not having a job - that scares me more than a few months of hardcore PT.

As for the rest of your post... chronic pain is just as bad as depression and anxiety when it comes to getting others to understand it. It's just one of those things that you can't fathom unless you're living with it. Most people don't understand how a pain in my shoulder could affect literally every aspect of my life - but five years of constant pain wears on you hard, emotionally and physically. I just wish the general public were more educated about these things...it'd certainly make our lives a little easier.

Amen ​

 

[Quoll]

I guess I have accepted the fact that this is back in my life, you can fight and deny and find all the excuses you want, but that part of my mind that sits back and watches everything, calmy, rationally, it knows what`s going on, recognises all the old thought patterns, it`s a pity it`s not in control.

 

[Quoll]

..............no offense <snip>

If only it were more so in the offline world. Many of my patients carry the additional burden of carrying a deep dark secret along with symptoms that are already very difficult.

My best to all of you, and for those reading who believe you may be suffering from a psychiatric disorder, I'd encourage you in the strongest terms to seek help. There are some good treatments available. You don't have to suffer.

I have been meaning to quote this piece for quite a while, but I have had things on/in my mind.

That is something I think we all become very good at, putting on a mask to hide our feelings from friends and family. (often seems to be with the exception of our closest, who take the full brunt of this condition)
A lot of my friends were very suprised when I told them I had depression, most just thought I had been a bit quiet of late. Putting the mask on had become second nature, it actually doesn`t take much, with so much going on inside your head it was just another small thing to add to the list.
These days the mask doesn`t fit quite as well, and actually I don`t really care. If someone asks what is wrong I am just as liklely to tell them, good for everyone I think.



I have just been re-reading this thread, now I am definitely not one for self praise, but shit this is a good thread. Huge thanks to everyone who has posted here, there is so much good advice and so much support and I know we have done some good here. Thanks too to those who have PMed me, some to say that they could not post but still got a lot out of it, others just thanking me *blushing*, I may have started this thread, but it is everyone else who has kept it going.
Post, don`t post, it`s not about post counts, if some read and understand either themselves or someone they know, then it is working.

Well the old spider sense is tingling "Something wicked this way comes"
so before this degenerates I just want to say Thank You and keep helping and learning.

 

[jupiter lilly]

Hello everyone.

I just wanted to drop a quick note to say hi...I think I might be ready to try and sleep now tonight (and just looking at the clock and seeing that it is 5AM it might be a good idea)

I've been dealing with my depression up front (more or less) for 5 years now. I suspect it was there before that time, but not as severe. I've got the family history to go with it as well.

For the past 2 years I have been seeing a therapist who has helped me immensely through some of my darkest times yet...I am slowly digging my way out. Currently I am taking 300mg of effexor daily...anyone else have any experience with this? The side effects are pretty nasty... In the past I've been on zoloft, wellbutrin and lexapro with no long term results of any notable nature.

I'm slowly coming to terms with my depression and finally finding some positive ways to deal with it...I am so happy to have found this thread. I look forward to reading more.

So hello everyone. Thanks for reading my little bio here...I hope everyone has a good day tomorrow.